Aliens Gone Wild (2005)

[bunniefuu]

[dramatic music]

[bats screeching]

[intense orchestral music]

- The entire populace of
Pahoota it is out there tonight,

ladies and gentlemen.

We got truckers seeing UFOs.
[recorded audience laughs]

Bunny's boyfriend, the
entire Pahoota football team,

saw a UFO.
[audience laughs]

And CWN's puff
piece correspondent,

the distinguished Lisa Cummings,

she's out there with
his royal majesty,

Sheriff Earl Hickman,
they've not only seen a UFO,

why they're chasing one!
[audience laughs]

But it doesn't
surprise me, Corky,

because I always knew
that the first place

that visitors from
another planet

would want to hit when
they finally got to earth

would be Pahoota,

home of.

- [Announcer] Super Station 66!

[high pitch tones squealing]

- What the hell's going on?

- I don't know, maybe it's
an earthquake or something.

Holy sh*t!

[electricity sizzles]

Don't panic, I'll fix it!

[tape deck booms]
[dramatic music]

We're on the air.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

we're experiencing some
technical difficulties.

Please stand by.

[dramatic music]

[electricity pops]

- Okay, I got it.

I got it under control.

- Nothing but the best for
Vernon L. Locknut, eh, Cork?

[alien whooshing]

[door thuds]

Jesus!

What is it?

[dramatic rock music]

What the hell?

[alien growling]

- Hey, fella, this
is private property.

And you're gonna have
to pay for that door.

- Ladies and gentlemen, I
hope you can still hear me.

There's something
very strange happening

down here at our
Super Station studios.

And if this is a joke I
can tell you we don't think

it's very funny.

- Yeah, it's not very funny.

- Do something, Corky.

- What do you want me to do?

- I don't know, hit
it with something!

- Mr. Locknut is gonna sh*t!

Oh my god, look at that.

Look at that, a real-life robot!

- It's coming at us,
somebody call the cops!

Call the cops!
[both screaming]

People, they're getting
ready to do it again.

Turn off your radios, people,
they're doing it again.

[devices whirring]

This fungus somehow
enables them to see people

who are listening
to this frequency.

I'm looking directly into
the viewfinder right now

and I see a girl, a
very, very pretty girl,

you're a nurse or something.

Right, you're listening
to me, aren't you?

People, turn off your radio.

Don't you understand?

They tune in on girls who are
listening to the Danger Man.

They're collecting beautiful
women over Clear Channel 66.

[alien growls]
Turn off your radio!

Turn it off now
before it's too late!

- Hi, kids, it's the
Captain Happy Show,

starring me, Captain Happy.

Let me get out my magic mirror.

I see Bobby.

I see Suzy.

I see Billy.

[heavy rock music]

♪ Filled with joy
this time of season ♪

♪ I'm always happy
for no reason ♪

♪ My favorite sun
shining down on me ♪

♪ The sweet little
verse of a melody ♪

♪ I love to romp
through the hills ♪

♪ And tippy-toe
through the daffodils ♪

♪ Mister Butterfly,
will you be my pet ♪

♪ Let me capture you
in my little net ♪

♪ I'm so happy

♪ I'm so happy

♪ I'm so happy

♪ I'm so happy

♪ I'm so happy, they're
so happy, we're so happy ♪

♪ Are you happy too

♪ I'm so happy,
they're so happy ♪

♪ Wouldn't you like
to be happy too ♪

♪ He's so happy, she's
so happy, he's so happy ♪

♪ Are you happy too

♪ I'm so happy,
they're so happy ♪

♪ Wouldn't you like
to be happy too ♪

♪ f*ck

♪ Dandelions are in the air

♪ Great big flowers
are everywhere ♪

♪ I love to pick
them every day ♪

♪ Arrange and put
them on display ♪

♪ I whirl, I sleep,
I jump, I prance ♪

♪ My little feet,
they begin to dance ♪

♪ Probably sitting in a tree

♪ A friendly owl
he hoots at me ♪

♪ I'm so happy

♪ I'm so happy

♪ I'm so happy

♪ I'm so happy

♪ Let's go

[heavy rock music]

[singer sobbing]

♪ f*ck

♪ Grandma knits me a
great big sweater ♪

♪ My little life
can get no better ♪

♪ Life's so happy
and full of joy ♪

♪ I'm lying, it really sucks

♪ I'm so happy,
I'm so very happy ♪

♪ I'm so happy, I really am

♪ I'm so happy, I'm
so very, very happy ♪

♪ I'm so happy

[woman whirs]

[woman screams]

[alien grumbles]

[woman screams]

- A signal from inside.
[Dan grunting loudly]

- Clear the way.

Clear the way.

- Five, four, three,
two, one, you're live.

- Flip Humble coming to you live

outside the Super
Station 66 studios,

where the Dangerous
Dan O'Dare marathon

is coming to an exciting end,

as law enforcement
authorities are poised

to storm the building.

CWN reporter Lisa Cummings
gives us this live report

from inside the studio.

Lisa.

- I don't know if
anybody can pick this up,

but here it goes.
[man grunting]

This is Lisa Cummings
live on the scene.

I'm gonna see a
terrible show right now.

[man screams]

[Dan grunting]

- What the hell is this?

[Dan grunting]

[upbeat rock music]

- She calls that transmission?

[alien growling]
[Dan grunting]

- You smoked the
wrong chick, dude!

[air whooshes]

[machine clicks]

[machine booms]

[alien screeches]

Oh sh*t!

[alien screeching]

[metal clangs]

[Corky groaning]

- Dan, get me out of here!

My god, what is that thing?

[alien screeching]

[Dan grunts]

[alien hisses]

[women screaming]

[machines beeping]

[cans clatter]

- Dan!

- Lisa!

- Jesus!
[alien screeches]

[women whimpering]

- Corky, take these.

- [Corky] What are you
gonna do with this?

- Here, take the Germasol
and spray that scumbag.

All right, ladies.

[upbeat rock music]

All right, scumbag! [yells]

[upbeat rock music]

- [Woman] Right between
the eyes, sucker!

[alien screeching]
[all shouting]

[upbeat rock music]

[Dan yells]

- You rat b*stard!

[alien screeching]

[woman screams]

[upbeat music]

[alien whimpers]

[dramatic music]

- Right there'll do just fine.

[dramatic music]

- You got a problem, Redeye?

- Yeah, I got a problem.

You, marshal!

That won't be a
problem, much longer.

- [Marshal] You are
a sick individual.

- Damn right I am!

I'm sick of you.

I'm sick of the Galaticorp,
I'm sick of the guild.

I'm sick of all this crap!

But I got me a heavy kind of
a vaccine to k*ll my ills.

- Is that a fact?

- Definitely.

Like so, marshal.
[teeth clicking]

[dramatic music]

[Miss Kitty whimpers]

[dramatic music]

[g*n blasts]
[Miss Kitty yelps]

[Miss Kitty screams]

[bell rings]

- Nice catch.

- Practice makes perfect.

[marshal groans]
[crowd chattering]

- Stand back, please.
[crowd gasps]

- You ready, tough guy?

[tile shatters]

- In the name of all
that is sacred to me,

I am ready.

[intense orchestral music]

- One, two, three, go!

[creature growls]

[crowd chattering]

- You're gonna die, Native.

Ain't you afraid?

- I fear nothing.

Least of all a man who
would k*ll a family.

Stake out the father,
all for daconium.

- It was you.

- If I die this day,

I swear by that great god, Kuk,

I will haunt you
until the day you die.

And I will see you in hell!

[creature growling]

[dramatic music]

[creature barks]
[women scream]

[creature growls]
[crowd screams]

- Such a pain in the neck.

[creature growling]
[dramatic music]

[creature burps]

[g*n blasts]

[intense music]

[eyes whir]

[g*n blasts]

[dramatic music]

[keyboard clicking]

[computer beeps]

[monster growls]

[dramatic rock music]

[woman screams]
[cables whooshing]

[dramatic rock music]

[portal whirs]

[monster roars]

[man thuds]

[monster growls]

[man screams]

[man grunts]

[weapon whirs]
[man groaning]

[rock thudding]

[electricity sizzles]

[monster growls]

[monster booms]

[man screeches]

[r*fle thuds]
[soldier screams]

[dramatic music]

[r*fles blasting]

- [Man] Come on, this way.

[dramatic music]

[g*n blasting]

It's the b*stard's
little helper.

[dramatic music]

[metal squeaks]

[man grumbling in
foreign language]

- Yes, what is it?

[man mumbling]

I know, we are going.

[dramatic music]

[g*ns blasting]

[soldier grunting]

[g*ns blasting]

[suspenseful music]

[metal squeals]
[dramatic music]

[g*ns blasting]
[soldier grunting]

[suspenseful music]

[g*ns blasting]

[soldier screams]

[metal squeals]

[suspenseful music]

[soldier speaking
in foreign language]

[g*n fires]
[electricity crackles]

[Mandroid beeping]

[g*n blasting]
[man grunts]

[dramatic music]

[g*ns blasting]

[man groaning]

[dramatic music]

[g*n clicks]

[man laughs]

[dramatic music]

[g*n blasts]

[somber music]

- Drago!

[suspenseful music]

[metal squeals]

[Wade thuds]

b*stard!
[metal clangs]

You have to hide
behind a machine!

[Mandroid whirs]

[electricity crackles]

[Mandroid whirs]

[Wade exhales sharply]

[dramatic music]

- [Ivan] Mr. American Scientist.

End of the road.

[g*n blasts]
[Wade screams]

Say goodbye.

- Wait, wait.

[dramatic music]
Wait.

- [Ivan] Yes?

- Goodbye!
[grenade clangs]

[expl*si*n booms]

[Ivan screams]

[somber music]

[lasers screeching]

[machines beeping]

- I got innocent people here.

Call off the force
or I'm gonna abort.

- You'll do what I
tell you to do, mister.

Those civvies signed a waiver
when they bought the tickets,

now put that mother into
gear and kick some a*s.

[dramatic music]
[metal screeching]

- [Announcer] MRAS-2 has
encountered hostile conditions.

Please remain calm, your
safety is completely assured.

[explosions booming]
[lasers blasting]

- Amazing, you'd really
think we're being attacked.

- This is no drill.

We are being attacked.
[passengers chattering]

[lasers blasting]

[ship rumbles]
[passengers gasping]

- [Woman] Something hit us!

[dramatic music]

[passengers chattering]

[mech whirs]

- [Commander] Drake,
what the hell's going on?

- We're under fire
from remote-controlled
laser launchers.

They're triangulating
the mag seal.

[lasers blasting]

[passengers screaming]
- Oh god, what was that?

[mech whirring]

[lasers blasting]

- What are you gonna
do to 'em, captain?

- They messed with the
bull, they get the horn.

[dramatic music]

[computers beeping]

[lasers blasting]

[expl*si*n booms]

[electricity crackles]

- Forget the g*ns, the
whole damn robot's intact!

Yahoo!

- Let's do it.

[dramatic music]

Strap in, Stumpy!

[dramatic music]

[asphalt crackling]

[metal squeals]

[asphalt crackles]

[mech rumbles]

[dramatic music]

- No, it can't be.

Impossible.

[mech whirring]
[dramatic music]

- Would you look at that?

It's all there.

The whole, damn mega-robot.

- Yeah, it's MEGA-1!

[MEGA-1 thudding]

[Drake laughs]

- Good work, Stumpy!

- Way to go, lover boy.

[dramatic music]

- Okay, watch this baby dance.

[dramatic music]

- You're k*lling
yourself, Drake.

What are you gonna do with
that rusty, old tin can?

- Take out the garbage, scumbag.

[MEGA-1 whirs]

[lasers whizzing]

[metal clangs]

[passengers chattering]

[dramatic music]

- Drake, oh my
god, the hostages!

[dramatic music]

[metal clanking]

[passengers chattering]

[electricity crackles]

[passengers shouting]

[compartment thuds]

[MEGA-1 whirs]

[passengers shouting]

[dramatic music]

- Fire, Drake.

What are your waiting
for, 10 paces?

Fire!

[dramatic music]

[metal whirs]
[laser blasts]

[MEGA-1 thuds]

[metal clangs]
[dramatic music]

[electricity crackles]

[scientists cheering]

[dramatic music]

[MEGA-1 thuds]

[alert beeping]

[lasers blasting]

[dramatic music]

[scientists cheering]

[dramatic music]

[wind whooshes]

[ship rumbles]

[machinery hums]

[alien squawks]

[dramatic music]

[laser whirs]

[aliens squawking]

[plane whirs]

[ship rumbles]

[dramatic music]

[tires screech]

[laser blasts]
[car thudding]

[expl*si*n booms]

[dramatic music]

[aliens squawking]

[console whirring]

[ship whooshes]

[laser whooshes]
[signs clanging]

[laser whooshes]
[fire roars]

[dramatic music]

[alien growls]

[sirens blaring]
[dramatic music]

[laser blasting]

[dramatic music]

[laser blasting]

[fire roaring]

[dramatic music]

[laser blasting]

[newspaper stand booming]

[alien howling]

[dramatic orchestral music]

[beam whirs]

[ship rumbles]

[woman gasping]

[dramatic music]

[sheets rustling]

[parasite squelches]

[bottle clatters]
- Damn.

[dramatic music]

Not bad.

Still a lot of life there yet.

[dramatic music]

[liquid plopping]

[dramatic music]

[woman screams]

[woman gasping]

[parasite screeches]

- Ms. Daley?

- Upstairs.

[dramatic music]
- Oh my god!

[Patricia screams]

[parasite screeches]
[Patricia screams]

- Here, take the syringe.

Come on.

[parasite squealing]

Patricia.

[dramatic music]

Draw the fluids, quick!

[parasite screeching]
[dramatic music]

[machine whirring]

[groans] That's it.

Higher.

Higher.

That's it.

[machine beeping]

[Dean gasping]

[Dean screams]

[Patricia screams]
[dramatic music]

[parasite fizzles]

[Patricia whimpers]

- I can't let you do that, Dean.

I know about that
g*n, don't go for it.

I need that parasite.

Don't go for that g*n.

Go on, try it! [grunts]

Dean!
[dramatic music]

Dean!

[Dean shouts]

[men grunting]

[dramatic music]

[man screams]

Get it off me!

Get it off me! [screams]

[wood crashing]

[man screaming]

[dramatic music]

- Quick, sh**t at the tank!

[b*llet clanks]

At the tank!

[expl*si*n booms]
[man screaming]

[fire crackles]

[leaves rustling]

[suspenseful orchestral music]

[ooze gurgles]

[man screams]

[monster chittering]

[phone ringing]

[trucks rumbling]

[suspenseful music]

- That's it.

I think we made it.

- Doc.
- Huh?

- Why don't you to
hook these two up here

and I'm gonna run up on the hill

and pull electricity down.

[dramatic music]

- Heidi.

Heidi, if they discover.

If they discover that
we aren't like them.

- When I look at Kim and Frank.

- They've got to think
that we're still like them.

Don't show any emotion
and don't talk.

[truck rumbles]

[dramatic music]

- Doc!
- Yeah?

- Grab hold one.

[suspenseful orchestral music]

You ready here?

[suspenseful orchestral music]

- Brad, they're still coming.

[tires screech]

[metal clangs]

[electricity bangs]

Turn on the light!

[monster squeals]
[gas hisses]

[dramatic music]

[Tom grunts]

[dramatic music]

[Heidi screams]

[electricity crackles]

[people chattering]

- [Tom] Brad!

[r*fle bangs]

[Tom grunting]
[monster chittering]

[dramatic music]

- [Man] Brad, what's going on?

[engine revs]
[dramatic music]

[elbow thuds]

[Brad thuds]

[ax clanks]

[monster squeals]

[Tom grunting]

[monster screeches]
[dramatic music]

[Tom grunts]

[expl*si*n booms]

[dramatic music]

- What do you want?

- I'll tell you
what I want, Bardo,

50,000 molecular ions.

And I'll get them
too, you know why?

Because my cruiser is loaded
with a dimensional fusion b*mb

that'll blow the atoms of this
city into another universe

unless they pay up.

- It'll never happen.

- Why not?

- Somehow you'll f*ck it up.

You always f*ck it up.

- No, Bardo, you've always
screwed up my plans.

But this time you
won't have a chance

because you're gonna be in
tiny, tiny, little atoms.

- We're gonna blow you
apart piece by piece, Bardo.

It's mine now.

I've heard about this
custom-made monster for years.

But don't worry, Bardo.

I'll take good care of it.

I'll put it to good use.

- Start with his left hand.

[dramatic music]

- How does it feel to be
on the other side, Bardo?

[g*n whooshes]

- I don't know, you tell me.

[g*n blasting]
[bodies booming]

[man screams]

[Stolvan grunting]

[dramatic music]

- You're gonna die.

You can't k*ll me anymore.

[dramatic music]

What do you want, as*h*le?

- Nothing.

[ship whooshes]

- You're just gonna walk away?

[ship rumbles]

- [Computer] Warning, a
sh**ter is following you.

Closing fast.

- [Bardo Computer] Warning,

sensors indicates presence
of energy band, warning.

- Your craft won't
take the pressure.

- Neither will yours.

- Yeah, I don't give a f*ck.

- What makes you think I do?

- [Stolvan Computer]
Impact with energy band.

- [Bardo Computer] Craft is
undergoing pressure duress.

[Stolvan screaming]

Warning, energy band ahead.

Anticipating impact in.
[Stolvan screaming]

- [Stolvan Computer]
Impact in 0.08 seconds.

We have impact.

[Bardo screaming]

- [Bardo Computer]
Unknown craft [indistinct]

energy band has disappeared.

Beta craft and
occupant are unknown.

Final warning, energy band
impact in 0.5 seconds.

We have impact.

We impact.
[dramatic music]

- Goodbye, Debbie.

- Why don't you pick on
someone your own size,

you f*cking puke?

[dramatic music]

[thug screaming]
[mirror shatters]

[fire crackles]

You sack of pus.
[g*n blasts]

[thug thuds]
[dramatic music]

[Debbie gasps]

You remind me of a
guy I knew back home.

I didn't like him either.

- Mother f*ck!

[g*ns blasting]

[thug screaming]

- [Bardo] f*ck, my g*n!

- Now let's see how you like it,

tiny mother f*ck.

- No, let's see what it's
like for you, mother f*ck.

[hand whirs]

[dramatic music]

Step aside, lady,
let me finish this.

- It's finished.

Come on, it's finished,
don't you see that?

- He's scum.

He doesn't deserve to live.

- Because your family
isn't alive, is that it?

Come on, let it go.

Just let it go.

- Stand aside.

- Okay.

Don't do it for me.

- Okay, lady,

you win.
[dramatic music]

- Wrong, nobody
f*cking wins. [laughs]

- Dimension fusion b*mb.

Run!

Run, Debbie, run!

[expl*si*n booms]

[expl*si*n whirs]

[dramatic music]

[metal whirs]

- [Mandroid] She's
not here, Ben.

- [Ben] Okay, take
the back stairs down

and get as far away from
this place as possible.

- Who are you?

- [Ben] Nevermind that.

Just get outta here quick.

[metal screeches]

[men laughing]
[woman groaning]

- [Drago] How are
you feeling, Zanna?

- Go to hell!

- [Drago] Getting a
little nervous, my dear?

[metal clinks]

[Drago laughs]
[dramatic music]

[men laughing]

What are you doing, imbecile?

[gears whirring]

Don't be afraid,
it's only a machine.

k*ll the machine!

[men screaming]

[fists thudding]

Goodbye, Zanna.

- [Ben] Not so fast.

- ÷{Drago] Benjamin, my boy.

Are you back on your feet again?

[fist whacks]

[Ben grunts]

[gears whirring]
[henchmen screaming]

[dramatic music]

- [Mandroid] I'm gonna
break you in two!

- [Drago] For [indistinct]!

[Zanna screams]

[gears whirring]

- [Mandroid] Hold on Zanna.

I got ya.

Come on.

It's okay.

Are you all right?

- Yeah, but Ben is hurt.

[somber music]

Ben, Ben can you hear me?

- [Ben] Yeah, they
didn't cut off my ears.

- [Mandroid] Come on guys,
we gotta get out of here.

- Not yet.

I can't let Drago get
away a second time.

[sword clinks]

[suspenseful orchestral music]

[metal whirs]

[man screams]

[metal clanging]

[g*n blasting]
[man screams]

[suspenseful music]

[glass shatters]

[suspenseful music]

[Drago yells]
[swords clank]

[both grunting]

[gears whirring]

[swords clanging]
[both grunting]

- Zanna, end of the road.
[Zanna grunting]

[Zanna screams]
[Drago grunts]

You.

I need some air.

[suspenseful orchestral music]

[Drago screams]

- So where the hell ya
sending me this time?

- What we've got
is an indication

of a time distortion
emanating from the year 2160.

It could be nothing, but.

- It could be something.

[door whirs]

- Can you hear me, Jack?

- [Jack] Yeah.

- The point of origin
seems to be Topeka, Kansas.

We've preset the time
and space coordinates.

The cycle is now activated.

There's no turning
back now, Jack.

I wish I could give you a
better idea of what to expect.

- Don't worry about me.

I love surprises.

[computers beeping]

[electricity crackles]

- A solonoid.

sh*t!

Jack!

[alarm blaring]

[Jack grunts]

- What the hell is
going on up here?

- The solonoid,

it must've regenerated
itself in the TCL chamber.

Jack's trapped in there with it.

[chamber hums]

I can't override the system.

- I can, hurry!

[computers beeping]

[door whooshes]

- It's gone.

He's gone.

Where is he?
[door whooshes]

- We've lost telemetry.

He could be anywhere.

[ship whooshes]

[dramatic music]

[solonoid screeching]

- Something tells me
I'm not in Kansas.

[expl*si*n booms]
[Jack grunts]

Swell.

[birds chirping]

[woman screams]

Hold it!

What the hell?

[electricity crackles]

A Trancer.

You're a f*cking Trancer.

- Who's meat are you?

- I'm nobody's
meat, I'm Jack Deth,

and you're coming with me.

[woman groans]

- I'm Borgia.

And where do you
propose to take me?

- Run!

Run like hell!

- He'll drain you dry, run!

[sparks sizzle]

- Charming toy.

You must let me play with it.

[Borgia grunts]

[fist whacks]

[dramatic music]

I think not.

[Jack grunts]

[both grunting]

[swords clanging]

[both grunting]

[dramatic music]

- Have you seen them?

Hey.

[victim thuds]

[man screams]

[dramatic music]

[woman groans]

[swords clanging]

- You've made a major
error, Wolf's Head.

The last thing in this
world that you wanted

was for me to notice you.

And now that I
have, you're dead.

[dramatic music]

[woman grunting]

- You will not harm her.

Not while I am alive.

[fist thuds]

- Then you shall die.

[fist whacks]

[both grunting]

How can you be the
son of Caliban?

It is I who by all rights should
fill his lordship's boots.

[man grunts]

[dramatic music]

[swords clanking]
[men grunting]

Prepare to die, son of Caliban.

[dramatic music]

[metal clangs]
[man screams]

- I must find John Deth.

[dramatic music]

- [Caliban] You still don't
get it do you, Wolf's Head?

I am Caliban.

This is my world.

My universe.

You have no place here.

- This place,

this is the place that
Farr talked about.

- Wolf's Head!

Brought you a present.
- Jack!

- Let her go!

- Tell me how to get to
your world, Jack Deth.

- I don't know how.

I'm trapped here.

My showing up was an accident.

- That is unfortunate.

- No!
[dramatic music]

[Caliban mumbles]

I got nothin' to lose.

- Jack Deth, wait!

[lightning crackles]

Where are you?

Where are you?

- It's not where I am,
it's where you are.

You're knocking on death's
door and I got the g*dd*mn key.

[energy whirs]

[dramatic music]

He would've k*lled us all, is
that what you wanted to save?

Huh?

- I'm sorry, father.

- I have no son.

- You hear anything?

- Just the pounding of
my heart, what else?

- Nothing.

- Caliban, is he?

- Gone.

My father is gone

and I should feel relieved
now that it's over.

- It's not over yet.

I'm still stuck here
with no way home,

and I hear wizards don't die.

They're just metaphysically
inconvenienced.

[Caliban laughing]

[dramatic music]