[ Slow music plays ]
[ Slow music plays ]
[ birds chirp ]
Both: we're nutty bunnies.
Both: we're nutty bunnies.
[ Both giggle ]
Both: we're nutty bunnies.
[ Both giggle ]
I'm nutty bunny number one.
[ Both giggle ]
I'm nutty bunny number one.
I like to frolic in the sun.
I'm nutty bunny number one.
I like to frolic in the sun.
[ Both giggle ]
I like to frolic in the sun.
[ Both giggle ]
I'm nutty bunny number two.
[ Both giggle ]
I'm nutty bunny number two.
I love me and I love you.
I'm nutty bunny number two.
I love me and I love you.
I'm nutty bunny number three.
I love me and I love you.
I'm nutty bunny number three.
The cutest bunny is always me.
I'm nutty bunny number three.
The cutest bunny is always me.
[ Laughs ]
The cutest bunny is always me.
[ Laughs ]
rabbit...come here.
[ Laughs ]
rabbit...come here.
Rabbit, come here.
Rabbit...come here.
Rabbit, come here.
[ Squeals ]
Rabbit, come here.
[ Squeals ]
ugh!
[ Squeals ]
ugh!
[ Squeals ]
Ugh!
[ Squeals ]
read this.
[ Squeals ]
read this.
Get up.
Read this.
Get up.
Up you go.
Uh, apparently, we're not
Uh, apparently, we're not
nutty bunnies after all.
Uh, apparently, we're not
nutty bunnies after all.
We're just college guys.
Nutty bunnies after all.
We're just college guys.
Sorry.
We're just college guys.
Sorry.
Sorry about that.
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
bonsoir.
[ Laughter and applause ]
bonsoir.
Notice anything different?
Bonsoir.
Notice anything different?
Hmm?
Notice anything different?
Hmm?
I'm not smoking, and it's great.
Hmm?
I'm not smoking, and it's great.
I saved so much money that I
I'm not smoking, and it's great.
I saved so much money that I
bought myself my own bar.
I saved so much money that I
bought myself my own bar.
[ Laughs ]
Bought myself my own bar.
[ Laughs ]
it's called buddy's.
[ Laughs ]
it's called buddy's.
You're sitting in it.
It's called buddy's.
You're sitting in it.
Now that I own a gay bar, I
You're sitting in it.
Now that I own a gay bar, I
can't stay in the closet
Now that I own a gay bar, I
can't stay in the closet
anymore.
Can't stay in the closet
anymore.
[ Giggles ]
Anymore.
[ Giggles ]
I'm as high profile as a city
[ Giggles ]
I'm as high profile as a city
councilor.
I'm as high profile as a city
councilor.
Of course, it's becoming next to
Councilor.
Of course, it's becoming next to
impossible for anyone to stay
Of course, it's becoming next to
impossible for anyone to stay
in the closet anymore.
Impossible for anyone to stay
in the closet anymore.
What, with all those hapless
In the closet anymore.
What, with all those hapless
celebrities being dragged out by
What, with all those hapless
celebrities being dragged out by
the press.
Celebrities being dragged out by
the press.
That must be terrible --
The press.
That must be terrible --
millions of people going "ew."
That must be terrible --
millions of people going "ew."
[ Laughter and applause ]
Millions of people going "ew."
[ Laughter and applause ]
I'll bet richard chamberlain had
[ Laughter and applause ]
I'll bet richard chamberlain had
a couple of sleepless nights.
I'll bet richard chamberlain had
a couple of sleepless nights.
Oh, I'm not saying he's gay.
A couple of sleepless nights.
Oh, I'm not saying he's gay.
I'm just saying I hope he has a
Oh, I'm not saying he's gay.
I'm just saying I hope he has a
good lover, 'cause he's gonna
I'm just saying I hope he has a
good lover, 'cause he's gonna
need a lot of sex with a man to
Good lover, 'cause he's gonna
need a lot of sex with a man to
help him through this crisis.
Need a lot of sex with a man to
help him through this crisis.
Good luck, d*ck.
Help him through this crisis.
Good luck, d*ck.
[ Laughs ]
Good luck, d*ck.
[ Laughs ]
why is being outed considered
[ Laughs ]
why is being outed considered
such a bad thing?
Why is being outed considered
such a bad thing?
When I find out someone is gay,
Such a bad thing?
When I find out someone is gay,
my admiration for them increases
When I find out someone is gay,
my admiration for them increases
tenfold.
My admiration for them increases
tenfold.
Well, not everyone.
Tenfold.
Well, not everyone.
I still refuse to believe
Well, not everyone.
I still refuse to believe
liberace was gay.
I still refuse to believe
liberace was gay.
[ Laughter ]
Liberace was gay.
[ Laughter ]
I just don't want him to be.
[ Laughter ]
I just don't want him to be.
[ Cheers and applause ]
I just don't want him to be.
[ Cheers and applause ]
him and roy cohn -- it's like
[ Cheers and applause ]
him and roy cohn -- it's like
being told satan's a f*g.
Him and roy cohn -- it's like
being told satan's a f*g.
Maybe that's why god's such a
Being told satan's a f*g.
Maybe that's why god's such a
h*m*...
Maybe that's why god's such a
h*m*...
And satan's so sexy.
h*m*...
And satan's so sexy.
Maybe if more people came out,
And satan's so sexy.
Maybe if more people came out,
there wouldn't be so many
Maybe if more people came out,
there wouldn't be so many
f*g-bashing comics around.
There wouldn't be so many
f*g-bashing comics around.
I mean, really, what's the
f*g-bashing comics around.
I mean, really, what's the
problem, boys?
I mean, really, what's the
problem, boys?
Let me just say one thing.
Problem, boys?
Let me just say one thing.
[ Horn blows ]
Let me just say one thing.
[ Horn blows ]
charge!
[ Horn blows ]
charge!
Sam kinison must be harboring
Charge!
Sam kinison must be harboring
some mighty memories if he's so
Sam kinison must be harboring
some mighty memories if he's so
terrified of fags.
Some mighty memories if he's so
terrified of fags.
I mean, why is it always the
Terrified of fags.
I mean, why is it always the
big, smelly guys who think all
I mean, why is it always the
big, smelly guys who think all
fags want them?
Big, smelly guys who think all
fags want them?
[ Cheers and applause ]
Fags want them?
[ Cheers and applause ]
oh, I'm not saying he's gay.
[ Cheers and applause ]
oh, I'm not saying he's gay.
I'm just saying he used to be a
Oh, I'm not saying he's gay.
I'm just saying he used to be a
preacher.
I'm just saying he used to be a
preacher.
[ Laughs ]
Preacher.
[ Laughs ]
andrew dice clay is phonier than
[ Laughs ]
andrew dice clay is phonier than
milli vanilli.
Andrew dice clay is phonier than
milli vanilli.
He's wearing the emperor's new
Milli vanilli.
He's wearing the emperor's new
clothes.
He's wearing the emperor's new
clothes.
It's as if someone took your
Clothes.
It's as if someone took your
grandmother -- the one who can't
It's as if someone took your
grandmother -- the one who can't
speak english -- taught her to
Grandmother -- the one who can't
speak english -- taught her to
swear phonetically, gave her a
Speak english -- taught her to
swear phonetically, gave her a
special on hbo, and made her a
Swear phonetically, gave her a
special on hbo, and made her a
star.
Special on hbo, and made her a
star.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Star.
[ Cheers and applause ]
it's not the dirty words -- I
[ Cheers and applause ]
it's not the dirty words -- I
have enormous respect for
It's not the dirty words -- I
have enormous respect for
filth -- it's the hate.
Have enormous respect for
filth -- it's the hate.
Andrew dice clay is not the new
Filth -- it's the hate.
Andrew dice clay is not the new
lenny bruce.
Andrew dice clay is not the new
lenny bruce.
I am.
Lenny bruce.
I am.
He and eddie murphy are just
I am.
He and eddie murphy are just
pissed off because they give off
He and eddie murphy are just
pissed off because they give off
such a faggy vibe.
Pissed off because they give off
such a faggy vibe.
I'm not saying they're gay.
Such a faggy vibe.
I'm not saying they're gay.
I'm just saying they sure smell
I'm not saying they're gay.
I'm just saying they sure smell
like rough trade to me.
I'm just saying they sure smell
like rough trade to me.
And the saddest thing of all is
Like rough trade to me.
And the saddest thing of all is
I'd still like to have sex with
And the saddest thing of all is
I'd still like to have sex with
both of them.
I'd still like to have sex with
both of them.
Oh, sure, I'd feel guilty, but
Both of them.
Oh, sure, I'd feel guilty, but
you know what?
Oh, sure, I'd feel guilty, but
you know what?
All I think it would take is
You know what?
All I think it would take is
about bucks.
All I think it would take is
about bucks.
[ Laughs ]
About bucks.
[ Laughs ]
this is great.
[ Laughs ]
this is great.
I feel like farrah fawcett in
This is great.
I feel like farrah fawcett in
"extremities."
I feel like farrah fawcett in
"extremities."
Anyways, there'll be none of
"Extremities."
Anyways, there'll be none of
that hatred here at buddy's,
Anyways, there'll be none of
that hatred here at buddy's,
just family entertainment for
That hatred here at buddy's,
just family entertainment for
the q*eer nation.
Just family entertainment for
the q*eer nation.
[ Giggles ]
The q*eer nation.
[ Giggles ]
no stand-up comedy allowed.
[ Giggles ]
no stand-up comedy allowed.
A place where the brothers can
No stand-up comedy allowed.
A place where the brothers can
be sisters, the sisters can be
A place where the brothers can
be sisters, the sisters can be
parents, and I can be simply
Be sisters, the sisters can be
parents, and I can be simply
[ moans ].
Parents, and I can be simply
[ moans ].
I'm not saying I'm gay.
[ Moans ].
I'm not saying I'm gay.
I'm just saying, boys, you don't
I'm not saying I'm gay.
I'm just saying, boys, you don't
want to run into me in a dark
I'm just saying, boys, you don't
want to run into me in a dark
alley.
Want to run into me in a dark
alley.
[ Cheers and applause ]
So, do you like the uniform?
So, do you like the uniform?
Do you like the, uh, like the
So, do you like the uniform?
Do you like the, uh, like the
blue outfit?
Do you like the, uh, like the
blue outfit?
It's okay.
Blue outfit?
It's okay.
You're still mad 'cause I
It's okay.
You're still mad 'cause I
shot that guy, aren't you?
You're still mad 'cause I
shot that guy, aren't you?
A little.
Shot that guy, aren't you?
A little.
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
Let's review the wine situation
All right.
Let's review the wine situation
here.
Let's review the wine situation
here.
This is the california cabernet.
Here.
This is the california cabernet.
No.
This is the california cabernet.
No.
No?
No.
No?
All right, then, that must be
No?
All right, then, that must be
the burgundy, and that is the
All right, then, that must be
the burgundy, and that is the
german.
The burgundy, and that is the
german.
No, no.
German.
No, no.
No, no? Hmm.
No, no.
No, no? Hmm.
All right, then, that must be
No, no? Hmm.
All right, then, that must be
the chablis.
All right, then, that must be
the chablis.
No.
The chablis.
No.
No?
No.
No?
Well, I think we can find our
No?
Well, I think we can find our
way down that road alone now.
Well, I think we can find our
way down that road alone now.
Thank you very much.
Way down that road alone now.
Thank you very much.
Isn't this exciting?
Thank you very much.
Isn't this exciting?
[ Chuckles ]
Isn't this exciting?
[ Chuckles ]
you know, normally I just
[ Chuckles ]
you know, normally I just
order the one bottle, but when I
You know, normally I just
order the one bottle, but when I
saw how may wines they had by
Order the one bottle, but when I
saw how may wines they had by
the glass, I thought, "why not
Saw how may wines they had by
the glass, I thought, "why not
have an adventure?", So here we
The glass, I thought, "why not
have an adventure?", So here we
are.
Have an adventure?", So here we
are.
Here, try this one.
Are.
Here, try this one.
That's the chablis.
Here, try this one.
That's the chablis.
No.
That's the chablis.
No.
Oh, thank you.
No.
Oh, thank you.
[ Clears throat ]
Oh, thank you.
[ Clears throat ]
how is it?
[ Clears throat ]
how is it?
It's all right.
How is it?
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
So, let's look at the menu,
It's all right.
So, let's look at the menu,
shall we?
So, let's look at the menu,
shall we?
Okay.
Shall we?
Okay.
Oh, my.
Okay.
Oh, my.
Prices of this food isn't
Oh, my.
Prices of this food isn't
exactly in the cheap zone, is
Prices of this food isn't
exactly in the cheap zone, is
it?
Exactly in the cheap zone, is
it?
Oh, don't worry.
It?
Oh, don't worry.
I'm not a tightwad, if that's
Oh, don't worry.
I'm not a tightwad, if that's
what you're thinking.
I'm not a tightwad, if that's
what you're thinking.
Money is no object with me.
What you're thinking.
Money is no object with me.
I don't have any.
Money is no object with me.
I don't have any.
Just a little joke.
I don't have any.
Just a little joke.
Jokes, what do people see in
Just a little joke.
Jokes, what do people see in
them?
Jokes, what do people see in
them?
[ Clears throat ]
Them?
[ Clears throat ]
maybe I'll have fish.
[ Clears throat ]
maybe I'll have fish.
Ahh.
Maybe I'll have fish.
Ahh.
So we're going to feast on our
Ahh.
So we're going to feast on our
cousin from the sea?
So we're going to feast on our
cousin from the sea?
How exciting.
Cousin from the sea?
How exciting.
You know, I think our blind date
How exciting.
You know, I think our blind date
is going quite well, don't you?
You know, I think our blind date
is going quite well, don't you?
It's all right.
Is going quite well, don't you?
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
You know, your friend lenora
It's all right.
You know, your friend lenora
confided in me that you're on
You know, your friend lenora
confided in me that you're on
the rebound, and -- oops.
Confided in me that you're on
the rebound, and -- oops.
Sorry.
The rebound, and -- oops.
Sorry.
Wrong topic of conversation.
Sorry.
Wrong topic of conversation.
You know what?
Wrong topic of conversation.
You know what?
She also told me that you're a
You know what?
She also told me that you're a
temporary secretary.
She also told me that you're a
temporary secretary.
Oh, my god.
Temporary secretary.
Oh, my god.
Y-y-you look alarmed.
Oh, my god.
Y-y-you look alarmed.
Is it because you find something
Y-y-you look alarmed.
Is it because you find something
alarming?
Is it because you find something
alarming?
I see someone that I don't
Alarming?
I see someone that I don't
want to talk to right now.
I see someone that I don't
want to talk to right now.
Don't want to talk to, eh?
Want to talk to right now.
Don't want to talk to, eh?
Well, you know, amanda, you
Don't want to talk to, eh?
Well, you know, amanda, you
can't talk to someone if you
Well, you know, amanda, you
can't talk to someone if you
don't speak their language.
Can't talk to someone if you
don't speak their language.
What?
Don't speak their language.
What?
Follow me.
What?
Follow me.
Amanda, cuando yo fue en
Follow me.
Amanda, cuando yo fue en
mexico, no fue muy contento con
Amanda, cuando yo fue en
mexico, no fue muy contento con
los pueblos.
Mexico, no fue muy contento con
los pueblos.
¿Y tu, amanda?
Los pueblos.
¿Y tu, amanda?
How am I doing?
¿Y tu, amanda?
How am I doing?
Well, he heard you.
How am I doing?
Well, he heard you.
Hi.
Well, he heard you.
Hi.
Oh, hello.
Hi.
Oh, hello.
So, who you with?
Oh, hello.
So, who you with?
A friend.
So, who you with?
A friend.
How ironic!
A friend.
How ironic!
We're on a date as well.
How ironic!
We're on a date as well.
And I don't know about you, but
We're on a date as well.
And I don't know about you, but
our date is going quite nicely.
And I don't know about you, but
our date is going quite nicely.
I miss your body.
Our date is going quite nicely.
I miss your body.
[ Sighs ]
I miss your body.
[ Sighs ]
didn't take you long to find a
[ Sighs ]
didn't take you long to find a
new friend.
Didn't take you long to find a
new friend.
My radar tells me that you
New friend.
My radar tells me that you
two were more than just friends.
My radar tells me that you
two were more than just friends.
Am I right?
Two were more than just friends.
Am I right?
It was a long time ago.
Am I right?
It was a long time ago.
Nine days.
It was a long time ago.
Nine days.
Well, the world was built in
Nine days.
Well, the world was built in
six days, and that was without
Well, the world was built in
six days, and that was without
the benefit of power tools.
Six days, and that was without
the benefit of power tools.
[ Chuckles ]
The benefit of power tools.
[ Chuckles ]
maybe I could call you later?
[ Chuckles ]
maybe I could call you later?
Excuse me.
Maybe I could call you later?
Excuse me.
I made a little joke there.
Excuse me.
I made a little joke there.
Shall I back that up and try it
I made a little joke there.
Shall I back that up and try it
again?
Shall I back that up and try it
again?
My cousin, neeve, loves my sense
Again?
My cousin, neeve, loves my sense
of humor.
My cousin, neeve, loves my sense
of humor.
He finds it funny.
Of humor.
He finds it funny.
I, uh, don't think so.
He finds it funny.
I, uh, don't think so.
It's almost completely out of
I, uh, don't think so.
It's almost completely out of
the question.
It's almost completely out of
the question.
Are you sure?
The question.
Are you sure?
I could stop by later for...
Are you sure?
I could stop by later for...
Coffee.
I could stop by later for...
Coffee.
[ Clears throat ]
Coffee.
[ Clears throat ]
excuse me, sir.
[ Clears throat ]
excuse me, sir.
I think you might want to corral
Excuse me, sir.
I think you might want to corral
that roaming hand of yours.
I think you might want to corral
that roaming hand of yours.
I think the lady is trying to
That roaming hand of yours.
I think the lady is trying to
tell you that you're barking up
I think the lady is trying to
tell you that you're barking up
the wrong tree!
Tell you that you're barking up
the wrong tree!
Butt out, pinhead.
The wrong tree!
Butt out, pinhead.
And I find that very
Butt out, pinhead.
And I find that very
insulting.
And I find that very
insulting.
I happen to know several
Insulting.
I happen to know several
pinheads, and they're fully
I happen to know several
pinheads, and they're fully
functioning members of society.
Pinheads, and they're fully
functioning members of society.
So there.
Functioning members of society.
So there.
Baby, don't make me sleep
So there.
Baby, don't make me sleep
with her.
Baby, don't make me sleep
with her.
No.
With her.
No.
You know, amanda, I don't
No.
You know, amanda, I don't
like to judge, but I think your
You know, amanda, I don't
like to judge, but I think your
friend is pretty immature.
Like to judge, but I think your
friend is pretty immature.
Darrell...
Friend is pretty immature.
Darrell...
Darrill.
Darrell...
Darrill.
Darrill...
Darrill.
Darrill...
Darrill.
Darrill...
Darrill.
I think we need to talk tonight,
Darrill.
I think we need to talk tonight,
my friend and i.
I think we need to talk tonight,
my friend and i.
Oh.
My friend and i.
Oh.
All right, I see.
Oh.
All right, I see.
You two are wanting to sort out
All right, I see.
You two are wanting to sort out
your emotional baggage, as it
You two are wanting to sort out
your emotional baggage, as it
were?
Your emotional baggage, as it
were?
Yes, exactly.
Were?
Yes, exactly.
All right, amanda.
Yes, exactly.
All right, amanda.
You're a big girl.
All right, amanda.
You're a big girl.
I just hope that this doesn't
You're a big girl.
I just hope that this doesn't
interfere with our d-- oh,
I just hope that this doesn't
interfere with our d-- oh,
you're off now, are you?
Interfere with our d-- oh,
you're off now, are you?
Yes.
You're off now, are you?
Yes.
Well, um, I guess our
Yes.
Well, um, I guess our
much-anticipated first kiss will
Well, um, I guess our
much-anticipated first kiss will
have to wait.
Much-anticipated first kiss will
have to wait.
I guess so.
Have to wait.
I guess so.
Well, "it will be all that
I guess so.
Well, "it will be all that
sweeter with the waiting," as my
Well, "it will be all that
sweeter with the waiting," as my
grandmother used to say.
Sweeter with the waiting," as my
grandmother used to say.
Yes!
Grandmother used to say.
Yes!
Don't worry, I'll get the
Yes!
Don't worry, I'll get the
check.
Don't worry, I'll get the
check.
Ahh.
Check.
Ahh.
I see you're enjoying the
Ahh.
I see you're enjoying the
chablis.
I see you're enjoying the
chablis.
Wrong.
[ Siren wails ]
[ Siren wails ]
what do you think of this
[ Siren wails ]
what do you think of this
pose?
What do you think of this
pose?
Nope.
You don't like that?
You don't like that?
Don't like that.
You don't like that?
Don't like that.
Okay, what do you think of
Don't like that.
Okay, what do you think of
this one?
Okay, what do you think of
this one?
Nope.
This one?
Nope.
No?
Nope.
No?
Nope.
No?
Nope.
All right, what about this
Nope.
All right, what about this
one?
All right, what about this
one?
That's mine.
One?
That's mine.
Oh, right. Sorry.
That's mine.
Oh, right. Sorry.
What about, uh --
Oh, right. Sorry.
What about, uh --
I like -- I like your old
What about, uh --
I like -- I like your old
one.
I like -- I like your old
one.
You like the old one?
One.
You like the old one?
Th-that one?
You like the old one?
Th-that one?
Yeah.
Th-that one?
Yeah.
Huh.
Yeah.
Huh.
If I do it all -- if I do it all
Huh.
If I do it all -- if I do it all
day, I get a pain in my neck,
If I do it all -- if I do it all
day, I get a pain in my neck,
you know.
Day, I get a pain in my neck,
you know.
Really?
You know.
Really?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
It's hell being a cop, eh?
Wow.
It's hell being a cop, eh?
You can say that again,
It's hell being a cop, eh?
You can say that again,
sister.
Darling, are you sure you
Darling, are you sure you
called the taxi?
Darling, are you sure you
called the taxi?
Mm-hmm.
Called the taxi?
Mm-hmm.
Darling, are you sure you
Mm-hmm.
Darling, are you sure you
called the taxi?
Darling, are you sure you
called the taxi?
Yes, dear.
Called the taxi?
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Well, you're going to have to
Yes, dear.
Well, you're going to have to
call them again.
Well, you're going to have to
call them again.
Yes, dear.
Call them again.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Oh. Never mind.
Yes, dear.
Oh. Never mind.
Taxi's arrived.
Oh. Never mind.
Taxi's arrived.
And put away that knife.
Taxi's arrived.
And put away that knife.
Yes, dear.
And put away that knife.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
All right.
Yes, dear.
All right.
I'm going to leave my mother's
All right.
I'm going to leave my mother's
number by the phone, but call
I'm going to leave my mother's
number by the phone, but call
only if there's an emergency.
Number by the phone, but call
only if there's an emergency.
Yes, dear.
Only if there's an emergency.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
And don't forget to put the
Yes, dear.
And don't forget to put the
salve on your rash or it will
And don't forget to put the
salve on your rash or it will
get worse.
Salve on your rash or it will
get worse.
Yes, dear.
Get worse.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
And put that g*n away.
Yes, dear.
And put that g*n away.
Yes, dear.
And put that g*n away.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
All right.
Yes, dear.
All right.
Well, come and give me a kiss on
All right.
Well, come and give me a kiss on
the cheek.
Well, come and give me a kiss on
the cheek.
And cut that anvil down before
The cheek.
And cut that anvil down before
someone gets hurt.
And cut that anvil down before
someone gets hurt.
Yes, dear.
Someone gets hurt.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Bye, darling.
Yes, dear.
Bye, darling.
Love you.
Bye, darling.
Love you.
[ Mumbling ]
Love you.
[ Mumbling ]
and don't k*ll my bird while
[ Mumbling ]
and don't k*ll my bird while
I'm gone.
And don't k*ll my bird while
I'm gone.
Yes, dear.
I'm gone.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Don't give me that look.
Yes, dear.
Don't give me that look.
Now put on that dress I like.
[ Sirens wail ]
Okay, uh, to the best of your
Okay, uh, to the best of your
ability, could you, uh, give me
Okay, uh, to the best of your
ability, could you, uh, give me
a description of, uh, myself
Ability, could you, uh, give me
a description of, uh, myself
running naked through the woods?
Uh, I suppose around
Uh, I suppose around
: a.m., You'd be spotted
Uh, I suppose around
: a.m., You'd be spotted
taking off your conservative
: A.m., You'd be spotted
taking off your conservative
blue suit to reveal a ' ",
Taking off your conservative
blue suit to reveal a ' ",
approximately -kilo frame.
Blue suit to reveal a ' ",
approximately -kilo frame.
From there you'd be seen
Approximately -kilo frame.
From there you'd be seen
scurrying through the
From there you'd be seen
scurrying through the
underbrush, yelping, maybe
Scurrying through the
underbrush, yelping, maybe
wrestle a deer to the ground.
Underbrush, yelping, maybe
wrestle a deer to the ground.
Deer.
Wrestle a deer to the ground.
Deer.
And feel, uh, free and alive
Deer.
And feel, uh, free and alive
for perhaps the first time in
And feel, uh, free and alive
for perhaps the first time in
your life.
For perhaps the first time in
your life.
Huh.
Your life.
Huh.
Maybe, uh, fall asleep in a
Huh.
Maybe, uh, fall asleep in a
culvert.
Maybe, uh, fall asleep in a
culvert.
Culvert?
Culvert.
Culvert?
[ Laughs ]
Culvert?
[ Laughs ]
well, it takes all kinds.
[ Laughs ]
well, it takes all kinds.
[ Laughs ] sure does.
I-i-i-if I don't get that
I-i-i-if I don't get that
bill soon, i-i'm gonna spin out.
I-i-i-if I don't get that
bill soon, i-i'm gonna spin out.
He's pretending not to see
Bill soon, i-i'm gonna spin out.
He's pretending not to see
us.
He's pretending not to see
us.
I-i-it feels like an hour.
Us.
I-i-it feels like an hour.
How long has it been?
I-i-it feels like an hour.
How long has it been?
Four minutes.
How long has it been?
Four minutes.
Well, i-i-i can't take it.
Four minutes.
Well, i-i-i can't take it.
I-i-i'm gonna get him.
Well, i-i-i can't take it.
I-i-i'm gonna get him.
E-e-e-excuse me.
I-i-i'm gonna get him.
E-e-e-excuse me.
Huh? Yeah?
E-e-e-excuse me.
Huh? Yeah?
Excuse me.
Huh? Yeah?
Excuse me.
Yes?
Excuse me.
Yes?
Yes, sir?
Yes?
Yes, sir?
I-i-i'm sorry, but I asked
Yes, sir?
I-i-i'm sorry, but I asked
for my bill five minutes ago.
I-i-i'm sorry, but I asked
for my bill five minutes ago.
Oh. Oh, okay, fine.
For my bill five minutes ago.
Oh. Oh, okay, fine.
I'll just, uh, fill it out for
Oh. Oh, okay, fine.
I'll just, uh, fill it out for
you now, then.
I'll just, uh, fill it out for
you now, then.
I-i-i-i didn't want it now.
You now, then.
I-i-i-i didn't want it now.
I wanted it eight minutes ago.
I-i-i-i didn't want it now.
I wanted it eight minutes ago.
And I never got my water.
I wanted it eight minutes ago.
And I never got my water.
See, i-i-i'm not trying to
And I never got my water.
See, i-i-i'm not trying to
cheat you.
See, i-i-i'm not trying to
cheat you.
I-i-i'm not trying to rip you
Cheat you.
I-i-i'm not trying to rip you
off.
I-i-i'm not trying to rip you
off.
I'm not some sort of rip-off
Off.
I'm not some sort of rip-off
artist here.
I'm not some sort of rip-off
artist here.
Oh, I'll just do it here,
Artist here.
Oh, I'll just do it here,
sir.
Oh, I'll just do it here,
sir.
Am I talking in a void here?
Sir.
Am I talking in a void here?
Get the manager.
Am I talking in a void here?
Get the manager.
I-i want to see the manager.
Get the manager.
I-i want to see the manager.
It's my right to see the
I-i want to see the manager.
It's my right to see the
manager.
It's my right to see the
manager.
This customer has a problem
Manager.
This customer has a problem
with his bill.
This customer has a problem
with his bill.
Hmm.
With his bill.
Hmm.
Hi. I'm the manager.
Hmm.
Hi. I'm the manager.
And, uh, I am a dissatisfied
Hi. I'm the manager.
And, uh, I am a dissatisfied
customer.
And, uh, I am a dissatisfied
customer.
I'm a customer who didn't
Customer.
I'm a customer who didn't
receive my bill when I asked for
I'm a customer who didn't
receive my bill when I asked for
it.
Receive my bill when I asked for
it.
I mean, I'm not unreasonable,
It.
I mean, I'm not unreasonable,
but I asked for my bill
I mean, I'm not unreasonable,
but I asked for my bill
minutes ago.
But I asked for my bill
minutes ago.
Eight minutes ago.
Minutes ago.
Eight minutes ago.
I'm not talking to you right
Eight minutes ago.
I'm not talking to you right
now.
I'm not talking to you right
now.
I'm talking to him.
Now.
I'm talking to him.
I want my bill.
I'm talking to him.
I want my bill.
You want your bill?
I want my bill.
You want your bill?
Yes. I-i shouldn't be here.
You want your bill?
Yes. I-i shouldn't be here.
I-i should be away from here.
Yes. I-i shouldn't be here.
I-i should be away from here.
I-i should be minutes away
I-i should be away from here.
I-i should be minutes away
from here.
I-i should be minutes away
from here.
I-i don't need this aggravation.
From here.
I-i don't need this aggravation.
We'll make up your bill right
I-i don't need this aggravation.
We'll make up your bill right
now, sir.
We'll make up your bill right
now, sir.
No, no.
Now, sir.
No, no.
I-i-i don't want it now.
No, no.
I-i-i don't want it now.
I-i wanted it minutes ago.
I-i-i don't want it now.
I-i wanted it minutes ago.
W-what sort of establishment are
I-i wanted it minutes ago.
W-what sort of establishment are
you running here th-that y-y-you
W-what sort of establishment are
you running here th-that y-y-you
don't want money?
You running here th-that y-y-you
don't want money?
I've got no complaints with the
Don't want money?
I've got no complaints with the
food.
I've got no complaints with the
food.
The food was exquisite.
Food.
The food was exquisite.
It's the bill that I've got my
The food was exquisite.
It's the bill that I've got my
problems with.
It's the bill that I've got my
problems with.
And I never got my water.
Problems with.
And I never got my water.
We were here once before and
And I never got my water.
We were here once before and
this didn't happen.
We were here once before and
this didn't happen.
Last time we were here, we got
This didn't happen.
Last time we were here, we got
our bill when we asked for it.
Last time we were here, we got
our bill when we asked for it.
Explain that!
Our bill when we asked for it.
Explain that!
Explain that!
Explain that!
Explain that!
You can't, can you?
Explain that!
You can't, can you?
'Cause you know I'm right!
You can't, can you?
'Cause you know I'm right!
What are you laughing at?
'Cause you know I'm right!
What are you laughing at?
I-i don't think it's funny.
What are you laughing at?
I-i don't think it's funny.
I think it's sad.
I-i don't think it's funny.
I think it's sad.
I worry about this restaurant.
I think it's sad.
I worry about this restaurant.
I do.
I worry about this restaurant.
I do.
I'm a consumer.
I do.
I'm a consumer.
I vote with my dollars.
I'm a consumer.
I vote with my dollars.
They're called dollar votes.
I vote with my dollars.
They're called dollar votes.
Of course they are, sir.
They're called dollar votes.
Of course they are, sir.
How can we help you, sir?
Of course they are, sir.
How can we help you, sir?
Give me my bill when I ask
How can we help you, sir?
Give me my bill when I ask
for it.
Give me my bill when I ask
for it.
Make up his bill.
For it.
Make up his bill.
I have it.
Make up his bill.
I have it.
You're not listening!
I have it.
You're not listening!
I don't want it now.
You're not listening!
I don't want it now.
I wanted it minutes ago.
I don't want it now.
I wanted it minutes ago.
.
I wanted it minutes ago.
.
I'm not talking to you,
.
I'm not talking to you,
buster.
I'm not talking to you,
buster.
I'm talking to him.
Buster.
I'm talking to him.
If you're such a great manager,
I'm talking to him.
If you're such a great manager,
why weren't you out here
If you're such a great manager,
why weren't you out here
managing minutes ago, eh?
Why weren't you out here
managing minutes ago, eh?
Were you in a hammock, eh?
Managing minutes ago, eh?
Were you in a hammock, eh?
What -- what are you laughing
Were you in a hammock, eh?
What -- what are you laughing
at?
What -- what are you laughing
at?
I shouldn't be here.
At?
I shouldn't be here.
I should be away from here.
I shouldn't be here.
I should be away from here.
I should be minutes away from
I should be away from here.
I should be minutes away from
here.
I should be minutes away from
here.
I-i'm trying to give you money.
Here.
I-i'm trying to give you money.
Now, that's not such a bad
I-i'm trying to give you money.
Now, that's not such a bad
thing, is it?
Now, that's not such a bad
thing, is it?
So you have your bill
Thing, is it?
So you have your bill
now, sir.
So you have your bill
now, sir.
Aah!
Now, sir.
Aah!
Am I the only one who's
Aah!
Am I the only one who's
listening?!
Am I the only one who's
listening?!
Is it such a hard thing to
Listening?!
Is it such a hard thing to
understand?!
Is it such a hard thing to
understand?!
I don't want it now!
Understand?!
I don't want it now!
All right.
I don't want it now!
All right.
Why don't we set our watches
All right.
Why don't we set our watches
back minutes?
Why don't we set our watches
back minutes?
Set your watch back minutes.
Back minutes?
Set your watch back minutes.
That won't work.
Set your watch back minutes.
That won't work.
Time goes forward.
That won't work.
Time goes forward.
Don't you know that?
Time goes forward.
Don't you know that?
W-what kind of restaurant are
Don't you know that?
W-what kind of restaurant are
you running that you don't
W-what kind of restaurant are
you running that you don't
understand how time works?
You running that you don't
understand how time works?
How can we satisfy --
Understand how time works?
How can we satisfy --
aah!
How can we satisfy --
aah!
By giving me what I've been
Aah!
By giving me what I've been
asking for, for three hours --
By giving me what I've been
asking for, for three hours --
an apology.
Asking for, for three hours --
an apology.
Well, of course we're sorry.
An apology.
Well, of course we're sorry.
Well, we're very sorry.
Well, of course we're sorry.
Well, we're very sorry.
[ Growls ]
Well, we're very sorry.
[ Growls ]
jesus!
[ Growls ]
jesus!
That's all I wanted.
Jesus!
That's all I wanted.
It wasn't so hard, was it?
That's all I wanted.
It wasn't so hard, was it?
Next time, give someone their
It wasn't so hard, was it?
Next time, give someone their
bill when they ask for it.
Next time, give someone their
bill when they ask for it.
It works to your advantage.
Bill when they ask for it.
It works to your advantage.
I'm not unreasonable.
It works to your advantage.
I'm not unreasonable.
I'm a nutty bunny.
I'm not unreasonable.
I'm a nutty bunny.
I never got my water.
I'm a nutty bunny.
I never got my water.
See, i-i-i don't like to
I never got my water.
See, i-i-i don't like to
complain.
See, i-i-i don't like to
complain.
I like to frolic.
Complain.
I like to frolic.
I-i-i'm a nutty bunny.
Just tape it, then watch it
Just tape it, then watch it
later.
Just tape it, then watch it
later.
Yeah.
Later.
Yeah.
That's what I always do.
Yeah.
That's what I always do.
Well, you gotta find the
That's what I always do.
Well, you gotta find the
time.
Well, you gotta find the
time.
Thank you very much, hon.
Time.
Thank you very much, hon.
Hey -- those guys.
Thank you very much, hon.
Hey -- those guys.
They match the description of
Hey -- those guys.
They match the description of
those escaped convicts.
They match the description of
those escaped convicts.
Yeah.
Those escaped convicts.
Yeah.
I think you might be right.
Yeah.
I think you might be right.
Hey, I think those cops
I think you might be right.
Hey, I think those cops
caught on to us.
Hey, I think those cops
caught on to us.
Yeah.
Caught on to us.
Yeah.
Let's move it.
Yeah.
Let's move it.
Right.
Let's move it.
Right.
Damn!
[ Slurps ]
[ Slurps ]
[ inhales deeply ]
[ Slurps ]
[ inhales deeply ]
check.
[ Inhales deeply ]
check.
Get the check, please?
Check.
Get the check, please?
[ Indistinct conversation ]
Get the check, please?
[ Indistinct conversation ]
how much do I owe?
[ Indistinct conversation ]
how much do I owe?
We don't have time.
How much do I owe?
We don't have time.
Look, I'll pay this.
We don't have time.
Look, I'll pay this.
You can owe me.
Look, I'll pay this.
You can owe me.
That's not fair.
You can owe me.
That's not fair.
You got lunch yesterday.
That's not fair.
You got lunch yesterday.
Damn, you're right.
You got lunch yesterday.
Damn, you're right.
Okay, you get this and we'll
Damn, you're right.
Okay, you get this and we'll
call it even.
Okay, you get this and we'll
call it even.
Fair enough.
Call it even.
Fair enough.
Let's move out.
Come on. Let's go.
Come on. Let's go.
Here you go.
Keep it.
Keep it.
[ Sirens wail ]
Damn!
Damn!
Well, it's up to the feds now.
02x04 - Episode 4
Watch/Buy Amazon
The Kids frequently appeared as themselves rather than as characters, and some sketches dealt directly with the fact that they were a comedy troupe producing a TV show.
The Kids frequently appeared as themselves rather than as characters, and some sketches dealt directly with the fact that they were a comedy troupe producing a TV show.