01x10 - Mr. Wilson's Award

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Dennis the Menace". Aired: October 4, 1959 – July 7, 1963.*
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Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.
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01x10 - Mr. Wilson's Award

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-Ah-ah, Dennis.

You told an absolute fib.

-I'm sorry.

I was just trying
to make Mom sound

interesting to the other kids.

-Being sorry isn't enough.

Now I want you to go
right back to your room.

There's no TV for you tonight.

-No TV?

Jeepers.

Some of my favorite
programs are on.

-That's just too
bad, but I will not

have you telling your friends
that your mother's tattooed.

[theme music]
[doorbell ringing]

-I'll get it.

-Never mind,
Dennis, I'll get it.

Oh, hi, doc.

-Henry.

-Hi, Dr. Sinclair.

-Hi, Dennis.

-Jeepers, I hardly knew you
without your white stuff on.

-How are you?

Oh, you're fine.

-I know it.

-Is that it, doc?
-Um-hmm.

-Uh, Dennis, why don't
you go out and play?

-Have we got some kind
of a secret going on

around our house?

-Nothing that concerns you.

-Well, hello, Dr. Sinclair.

Nice to see you.

-Hello, Alice.

-Hey, doc has the P-L-A-Q-U-E.

-Oh, Dennis, why don't
you run out and play?

-Jeepers, every time
something interesting goes on,

someone starts spelling.

-All right, run along.

-I just hate spelling.

-He just hates to be
left out of anything.

-Why haven't you told him?

-Well, keeping
secrets isn't exactly

one of Dennis' strong points.

-Oh, I see.

-Sit down, doctor.

-Thank you.

-If you want to surprise
Mr. Wilson at the luncheon

tomorrow, you can't
let Dennis in on it.

-I'm dying to see the plaque.

-Oh, yes, of course.

Of course.

-Oh, it's lovely.

-Isn't it?

-This plaque is awarded to
George Wilson in recognition

of its outstanding
service as chairman

of the Community Chest Drive.

-That's nice.

-Yeah, when you present that
at the luncheon tomorrow,

George Wilson is going
to be a very surprised

and a very happy man.

-Yeah.

-Um-hmm.

Yes, and we'd like the same
cabin we had last year.

Oh, good, Mr. Romney.

Yeah.

And reserve a boat for me.

You know, one that I
can put my motor on?

I want to get some fishing in.

Fine, Mr. Romney.

Well, we're leaving bright
and early in the morning.

See you when we get there.

Bye.

Well, Martha, we're all set.

Oh, boy, I can hardly wait.

-You certainly deserve
a vacation, George.

You've been working like
men for the Community Chest.

-Yes, that's true.

[doorbell ringing]

-Oh, that must be the paper.

I wonder if there's
another write up about me.

-What are you looking at?

-To see if he's out there.

-Dennis?

-Of course.

You know, that kid
drives me crazy.

Every time he sees me now,
it's "Hello, Mr. Wilson."

-You know you'd miss
it if he stopped.

-Nah, I would not.

Well, I guess I'm
safe this time.

-What kind of a secret is it?

-I don't know.

Boy, I hate secrets.

Secrets and spelling.

And liver!

Hey, there's Mr. Wilson.

Hello, Mr. Wilson.

-Oh, no, he caught me again.

-Come on, Tommy.

Let's go see good
old Mr. Wilson.

How come you're sneaking around
in the bushes, Mr. Wilson?

-Oh, I was not sneaking
around in the bushes.

I was getting my paper.

-Hey, we've got some
kind of a secret going on

around our house.

Do you know what it is?

-No, I don't.

-I'll probably find
out by tomorrow,

and then I'll tell you.

-I won't be here.

Mrs. Wilson and I are
going on a week's vacation

first thing in the morning.

-Boy, I'll miss you.

-And I'll miss you, too.

-Boy, he sure slammed the door.
-Yeah.

It's lucky he didn't
do it at my house,

or Mom would have made him
go out and come in again.

-Don't worry, Henry, you'll
make a fine presentation speech.

-Well, I'm not
much of a speaker.

I can only promise
it will be loud.

I don't want anyone
going to sleep.

-Well, I'll see you
at the luncheon.

-OK, doc.

-Whoa there.

-Hi, Dr. Sinclair.

I guess you can probably tell
me what the secret is now, huh?

-Oh, I'm afraid not, Dennis.

Hi, Tommy, how's the ear ache?

-Which one was it in?

-The right one.

-I guess it's a little better,
because I can't feel anything.

-Well, what have
you two been up to?

-We've been over
talking to Mr. Wilson.

He's going on a
vacation in the morning.

-What?

Are you sure?

-Sure I'm sure.

He's leaving for his vacation
the first thing in the morning,

and he's going to
be gone a week.

-Excuse me, Dennis,
I forgot something.

-You forgot your
package, didn't you?

-Hmm?
Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.
Thanks.

-Come on, Tommy, let's
go down to the bakery

and smell the bread.

-OK.

-Oh, Dr. Sin--

-An emergency, Alice.

We have a problem.

-What is it?

-Wilson won't be at
the luncheon tomorrow.

-What?
-Why not?

-Dennis just found out he's
going away on a week's vacation

the first thing in the morning.

-Oh, no.

We can't let him.

-How can we stop him?

Punch holes in his tires?

-It's sneaky, it's a breeze.

I'll go next door and tell
him someone's moving away,

and we want him to give the
farewell speech at the luncheon

tomorrow.

-Now you know Mr.
Wilson isn't going

to give up a chance
to make a speech.

-Hmm, it's worth a try.

-But who's moving out of town?

-Well, I'll tell him
you're moving, Doc.

He thinks a lot of you.

-Oh, you can't do that.

A doctor doesn't
move away from a town

after he's been practicing in it
as long as I have in this one.

-All right, then you go over
and tell him I'm moving away.

-Oh, Henry.

-Tell him I'm being
transferred to New York.

-It's worth trying.

-What about Dennis?

Dennis knows we're not moving.

-Oh, honey, Dennis
probably won't even

find out about the
trick we're pulling.

-Oh, but if he does, he'll
spill the beans, Henry.

Well, if Dennis finds out, we'll
just have to fool him, too.

Make him believe we're
moving to New York.

-Oh, Henry, I don't
think that's a good idea.

-Oh, honey, the
luncheon's tomorrow.

What can go wrong in hours?

-Oh, Dr. Sinclair, come in.

-Thank you Mrs. Wilson.

-Oh, hello, Doc.

Well, what brings
you out this way?

-Two things.

First, I want to
congratulate you

on the job you did for
the Community Chest.

-Well, now thank you.

And make sure you'll be at the
men's club luncheon tomorrow.

-No, no.

I'm afraid not this time.

See, I've been working
pretty hard, night and day,

you might say, and
I thought I'd go up

to the lake for a few days.

-Oh, well, heaven
knows you deserve it,

but I thought you'd be there
because of the Mitchells.

-The Mitchells?

-Yes.

Of course, you know they're
moving away to New York?

-What?
-You must be joking.

-Do I look like I'm joking?

-Well, no.

-This transfer means quite
a promotion for Henry.

We should all be
very happy for him.

-I don't understand why they
didn't say something to us.

-Oh, it's something they
didn't know themselves

until quite recently.

-I saw Dennis just
a short time ago.

He didn't say anything about it.

-Oh, as far as I know, they
haven't even told him yet.

-That must be the secret
Dennis was talking about.

The Mitchells going away.

-Well, that's one luncheon
I'm going to hate to miss.

-Yes, it's too bad.

We thought maybe
you'd stand up and say

a few words, a
farewell for all of us.

-A speech?

-As only you can do, George.

-Well.

-George, you must.

-Well.

-We can change our plans.

-Yes, I guess we could.

All right, I'll do it.

-I knew you wouldn't
let us down, George.

-Little Dennis moving
all the way to New York.

-Yes.

Well, I thank you
both very much,

and I'm sorry I broke
into your plans.

-Oh, not at all.

George and I love the Mitchells.

We'd do anything for them.

-I'd even help Dennis pack.
-Goodbye, Dr. Sinclair.

-Goodbye, Mrs. Wilson.

Goodbye, George.

-So long, Doc.

-Oh, I feel terrible.

-I feel wonderful.

-You do not.

-I feel exactly as I did
the day the w*r ended.

-Inside you feel
just as bad as I do.

I think I'll give the
Mitchells a going away present.

And I think you ought to get
something for little Dennis.

-By golly, I just might do that.

A goodbye forever present.

Oh, poor New York.

Dennis will probably cause
the greatest migration West

since gold was
discovered in California.

-You're wrong, Mr. Wilson.

We're not moving to New York.

We're not moving at all.

We're never going to move.

Why I wouldn't
move even if I was

the President of
the United States.

-You think they'd tell the boy.

-Come on in, you'll see.

I'm home, and I
don't want to move!

Tell Mr. and Mrs. Wilson
we're not going to move.

Say, where is everybody?

-Dennis, stop your shouting.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Wilson, Mr. Wilson.

-How nice of you to drop in.

Come on in and sit down.

We heard you were moving,
and we came right over.

Dr. Sinclair told us.

-Hey, Dad.

But we're not.

We're not going to move out of
this swell old house, are we?

Huh, Mom?
Huh, Dad?

-Son, what would you
say if I told you

we were going to
move to New York.

-I'd say holy baloney!

-Now Dennis.

-I knew I'd find out
about that secret,

but I didn't think it would turn
out to be something like this.

-You know, the old
neighborhood just

won't seem the same
without little Dennis.

-I'm not going to go.

I'll just move in
with Mr. Wilson.

Me and you can work on your
stamp collection together.

-Uh, yeah, Mitchell, how
soon are you leaving?

-Oh, days or so I guess.

-How are you going?

-Well, I don't know.

I never flown before.

Maybe, uh--

-Hey, neither have
I. Are we going

on a jet, the good old jet?

-I suppose.

-By jet!

I've never been up in one,
and I wanted to all my life.

-All right, Dennis.

I guess when I do
go up, I'll have

the pilot go through
the sound barrier.

-Oh, isn't that sweet?

The confidence of youth.

-Hey, Mom?

-Yes, Dennis?

I'm kind of looking forward
to going to New York.

-Well, we're certainly
going to miss you, Dennis.

-I know.

And I'm going to miss you, too.

Well, so long Mrs. Armstrong.

-Bye, Dennis.

-Hi, Mrs. Holland.

-Hello, Dennis.

-Guess what?

I'm moving to New York on a jet.

-You are?
-Sure.

My Dad got a big promotion.

I guess he's in charge of
the whole thing back there.

-Why that's wonderful, Dennis.

But we're certainly
going to miss you.

-I know.

Everybody is.

I'm going to miss you, too.

Well, bye, Mrs. Holland.

-Goodbye, dear.

-Well, that's certainly a
piece of news, isn't it?

-I can hardly believe it.

Such a nice family.

-Alice is one of the
sweetest women I know.

-Oh, I just love her.

If anybody needs any help,
Alice is always right there.

-Hmm, I know.

You know, there's
a little tea pot

at Detwiler's she's been
drooling over for months.

I think I'm going to get it for
her as a going away present.

-Oh, that's a lovely idea.

I think I'll pick
up something, too.

-Why don't we go shopping
together this afternoon?

-Fine.

Just let me get my
clothes out of the dryer.

-OK.

-So Henry's going
to be in charge

of the New York operation.

-Isn't it wonderful?

-You know, I was just
thinking, my kid brother

will be graduating from business
college in a couple of weeks,

and he hasn't
lined up a job yet.

-Well, why don't you
have him talk to Henry?

-That's what I was thinking.

I'll have him drop by
and see Henry tonight.

-It's a wonderful speech, Henry.

It'll make Mr.
Wilson very happy.

-Thank you, honey.
[doorbell ringing]

-I'll get it.

Hi, Mr. Wilson.

-Oh, hello there, Dennis.

Is your father home?

-In here, Mr. Wilson.

-Ah.

-Oh, what a nice surprise.

-It's even nicer than you think.

I'd like you to meet Mr.
Robert Doubleday, Mr.

and Mrs. Mitchell.
-How do you do, Mr. Doubleday.

-And this is Dennis.

-Hi, Dennis.

Mr. Doubleday is from the
Kansas chapter of my lodge.

He's thinking of buying
a home here in town.

-Oh?

-So knowing that yours
would be for sale,

I persuaded him to come
over and take a look at it.

-Oh, you shouldn't have
gone to the trouble.

-Oh, what are friends
for, Mitchell?

Well, take him through.

And, uh, put a good
stiff price on it.

You know, I watched
this house being built.

There's no green
lumber in this place.

Um-hmm.

Solid.

Well, take him
through, Mitchell.

-Uh, well, uh--

-We're asking an
awful price for it.

Probably far more
than it's worth.

-Are you going to
show him through,

or do I have to do it myself?

-All right, I'll show
you the upstairs first.

Mr. Wilson, why don't
you wait down here

with Henry and Dennis?

Uh, Mr. Doubleday and I'll
be just a little while.

-All right, Alice.

-I have a boy back in
Kansas just about your age.

How'd you like a piggyback ride?

-Sure.

-Come on, hop on here.

-OK.

-Say, he's a big one, isn't he?

-Terrible new, Henry.

Our house doesn't
have enough bedrooms

for Mr. Doubleday's family.
-Oh, isn't that too bad.

-Jeepers, you could
use bunk beds.

-It's a nice house, but
I'm afraid it's not for us.

-Well, nothing ventured,
nothing gained.

Don't worry, Mitchell.

I'll dig up another
prospect for you.

-Thank you for
showing me through.

Bye.

-Bye, Mr. Doubleday.

-Goodbye.

-Oh, uh, I'll be over
later with Mrs. Wilson.

We want to spend
as much time as we

can with you now
that you're leaving.

Bye for now.

-Dennis, you go upstairs
and straighten your room.

It was a mess.
-Jeepers.

If we're going to
move, what difference?

-March, young man!

-OK.

-Oh, Henry, what a situation.

-That's nothing.

While you were
upstairs, John Williams

dropped by to put in a pitch
for my so-called old job.

-Oh, no!

-Oh, yes.

[phone ringing]

-I'll get it.

Hello.

Long distance?

Oh, hi, Grandpa.

Guess what?

We're moving to New
York in about days.

-Dennis.
-We're going on a jet.

-Here, let me talk
to Daddy, honey.

Uh, Daddy, hello.

Oh, I'll write you about that.

No, don't drive down.

I'll write you a
letter and explain.

But, Daddy, it's over miles.

Daddy, no wait for my
letter, and I'll-- now, Dad.

Dad?

He's leaving for here
first thing in the morning.

-I guess he wants to
say goodbye to us, huh?

[doorbell ringing]

-I'll get it.

-It's OK, honey, we'll call him
back when Dennis goes to sleep.

-Oh.
-Hi.

-Hi.

-Is your father home?

-Sure, that's him.
-I'm Mr. Mitchell.

-Hello, I'm Howard Turner.

I guess you know my
Sis, Dorothy Holland?

-Oh, sure, come on in.

Honey, this is Mrs. Holland's
brother, Howard Turner.

-How do you do, Howard?
-How do you do, Mrs. Mitchell?

-And this is our son, Dennis.

-Oh, yes, I've heard
of him from Sis.

-Is that on account of
the time I took a bath

over at her house?

-Yeah, that's right.

-What?

-Well, this is the
first we've hear of it.

-Sure, I was just a little kid.

And I did it in her bird bath.

-For heaven's sake.

-Come on in and
sit down, Howard.

-Thank you.

Gee, I hope you don't mind
my dropping in like this,

but when Sis told me you
were taking over the New York

operation of your company,
well, I just had to talk to you.

-Oh.

-I'll be finishing business
college a couple of weeks,

and I'm going to be
looking for a job.

-Well--

-I've always wanted
to live in New York,

and I was just
hoping there might

be a place for me
in your company.

-Oh, I don't think--

-I don't expect a
big job or big pay,

just enough to get me
started while I prove myself.

-Honey, I think you'd
better take Dennis

into the kitchen for a minute.

-What's going on here?

Have we got some kind of another
secret going on around here?

-Come on, Dennis.

-Are people going to start
spelling and all that stuff?

[doorbell ringing]

-I'll explain it all to you
when they get into the kitchen.

-Hello, Mr. Wilson.

-Hi, Mrs. Mitchell.

-Hi, Mr. Wilson.

-Hi, Dennis.

Martha will be over
in just a minute.

She's wrapping something.

-How come you're
smiling at me like that?

Am I unbuttoned someplace?

-Why no.

I'm smiling because I like you.

I, uh, brought you a
little going away present.

-Oh, you shouldn't have
done that, Mr. Wilson.

-Sure he should.

-Dennis can't accept
that, Mr. Wilson.

-Sure I can.

-I want the boy to have it.

I know it's something he's
wanted for a long time.

-Sure I have.

What is it?

-Open it up and see.

-Wow!

Thanks, Mr. Wilson.

A real bugle.

-Great Scott!

You'll be good at
that in no time.

[dog howling]

-Hey, Mr. Wilson, your good
old Fremont is answering me.

-Yes, I heard him.

[dog howling]

-That's going to drive
you out of your mind.

-Oh, that's all right.

Besides, it will only
be for a few days.

Well, hello there, Howard.

What brings you out this way?

-Well, I heard Mr.
Mitchell was going

to be in charge of
New York, and I'm

going to be looking for a
job in a couple of weeks.

-Oh, well, don't worry.

He'll find a place for you.

-I'm sure he is, but I haven't
taken over yet, you might say.

-It's OK.

I'm not through school
for a few weeks yet.

-Alice, dear Alice, I'm
going to miss you so

when you go to New York.

-Well, Gladys, we
haven't exactly gone yet.

-Oh, here's just a little
something to remember me by.

-I couldn't possibly--

[phone ringing]

-Excuse me just
a minute, please.

-Oh, I'll just wait
in the living room.

-Hello.

Long distance?

Hello.

Oh, Uncle Ernie.

Well, how did you find out?

Daddy shouldn't have
told you that, because--

[doorbell ringing]

-Will somebody get that, please?

-I'll get it.

Hi, Mrs. Holland.

Come on in.

We're having a regular party.

-Thank you, Dennis.

-Everybody's here, Mrs. Holland.

-No, the house
isn't up for sale.

Yes, I know you're
in real estate.

Yes, Uncle Ernie.

-Oh, no!

No, not you, Uncle Ernie.

Yes, of course, we'd
let you handle it.

But--

-What will your title be,
Henry, vice president?

-Oh, no, not that.

-Manager, I suppose.

Yeah, I guess
something like that.

-I can type
words a minute, sir.

-Oh.

Now, Uncle Ernie,
please don't feel hurt.

You know we love you.

Yes we do.

We adore you.

-Tell him about the
comptometer, Howard.

-Old yes, and I can also
operate a comptometer.

-Now you just try and tell me
that you can't use young man

with qualifications
like Howard's.

[doorbell ringing]

-Oh, excuse me, I
hear the doorbell.

-Uncle Ernie, please don't cry.

You'll get hiccups again.

-Oh, Mrs. Wilson.

-Hello, Henry.
Alice!

-Uncle Ernie, I'll
call you right back.

I'll explain the whole thing.

Yes, goodbye.

-Alice, this is one of my
most treasured possessions.

It's been in the family
for over years.

I want you to have it.

-Mrs. Wilson, I couldn't
possibly take it.

Henry, something's
got to be done.

-Maybe we'd better
move to New York.

-We'd better go in there
and explain the whole thing.

-Mrs. Wilson, would you go
in the living room, please?

-Well, yes, Henry.

-Hi, Mrs. Wilson.

-Hi there.

Gladys, Dorothy.

-You know my brother, Howard.

-Of course, I do.

-May I have your attention
for a moment, please?

-You're looking
very solemn, Henry.

-I'm feeling very solemn.

Quite innocently, I've made all
of you the victims of a hoax.

We're not moving to New York.

-What's that?

-We have no intention
of moving now or ever.

[interposing voices]

-Great Scott, the bugle.

-How come we're not
moving to New York?

-Uh, Dennis, you'd
better give me the bugle.

-Give him the bugle, Dennis.

And I'm going to return
your gifts to all of you.

-We lied to you, Mr. Wilson, so
that you'd be at the luncheon

tomorrow.

It's to honor you for your
generous contribution in time

and money for the
Community Chest.

-A luncheon for me?
-That's right, Mr. Wilson.

-Oh,George, that's wonderful.

-This is a surprise.

Here, Dennis, you
keep the bugle.

-So you see, son,
it was just a story

to fool Mr. Wilson into
staying for the luncheon.

-Do you understand?

-Sure.

It was just a fib,
like when I told

the kids you were tattooed.

-Well, not exactly.

-And then I had to stay in
my room and not watch TV.

-Dennis, it's not
the same thing.

What we told Mr. Wilson, Dennis,
was just a little white lie.

-What color was mine?

-Your turn.

-Well, uh, a white
lie is something

that makes someone happy.

You saw how Mr. Wilson laughed
when we confessed to him.

-Yeah.
-Ah, then you do understand?

-Sure.

I guess you should
have told him the truth

in the first place, huh?

-Yes, we should have.

-Because then you
could have watched TV

instead of going to your room.

That's what happened to
me when I told a fib.

-The fights are on tonight.

-Yes, I know, and you just lost.

Well, I guess I'll go up and
get a good night's sleep.

Goodnight, Dennis.

-Night, Mom.

-Coming, Henry?

-I guess so.

-Night, Dad.

-Goodnight, son.
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