03x61 - Wrestlemania

[bunniefuu]

[ ♪ ]


Why are there so many croquet balls?


COACHMASTERSON! Waaaah!


Did you alphabetize all the employee time cards? Yes.


Buff the bats? Shine the shin pads?


Polish the pucks?


Yes. Yes. Yes.


Good work, Masterson!


Does anyone even play croquet anymore? MASTERSON!


Ahhhh! WHAT?!!


[WHISTLE!] No shouting Masterson!


This is a place of business!


You better learn to control your emotions


if you're going to be my new right hand.


I can't have you jumping out of your shoes.


I need you firmly in them.


Do we understand each other?!!


New Assistant Coach? Huh? Hmm?


Ha ha ha ha ha.


[GASP] You're promoting me to Assistant Coach?!


Yes, sir! And thank you, sir!


[WHISTLE!] Management does not hug!


It's a rule. Right after no shouting.


It won't happen again.


This is your big chance, Masterson.


Don't blow it.


[ PUNY LITTLE WHISTLE ]


You're not going to make employees soil themselves like that.


From the diaphragm!


[ ♪♪♪ ]


[ ♪ ]


♪ LIFE BEGINS AFTER SCHOOL ♪


♪ THAT'S WHEN WE BEND ALL THE RULES ♪


♪ TIME TO HANG WITH ALL MY FRIENDS ♪


♪ WE LIKE TO BE TOGETHER


♪ IN A PLACE WHERE WE BELONG! ♪


♪ I'M TEEN, STARTING TO FIND MY WAY ♪


♪ GOT A NEW JOB, GONNA START AT THE MALL TODAY ♪


♪ THANK GOD I'M ON MY OWN FOR THE FIRST TIME ♪


[ ♪ ]


♪ I'M TEEN, LIFE IS SWEET ♪


♪ WHEN YOU'RE GROWING UP SO FAST ♪


♪ YOU GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD TIMES LAST ♪


[ ♪ ]


♪ I'M TEEN...


[ ♪ ]


♪ GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD TIMES LAST ♪


[ ♪ ]


[ ♪ ]


Whoa! Shiny!


Lemme hear your pipes?


[ PUNY LITTLE WHISTLE ]


Pretty feeble, bra.


That's Assistant Coach to you!


[ PUNY LITTLE WHISTLE ]


Assistant Coach!


You totally deserve that promotion!


Congrats, Jen.


Awe-some.


It was a loooong time coming, but I am so ready for this!


Don't be too sure.


Thanks!


If anyone knows the pitfalls of being too cocky,


it's the Jonesmeister.


Being Assistant Manager is a lot of responsibility.


Okay, whoa.


Who are you and what have you done with Jonesy?


I am not taking advice from the most fired person in mall history.


Suit yourself.


But don't come crying to me when it all backfires.


Has anyone seen Nikki?


Haven't seen her all morning.


Me neither, bro.


It's not like her to be at work when she's supposed to be working.


I think she's dead?


Maybe she's just sleeping?


Wake her up!


Touch me and die.


Ahhhhh!


Ewww...


You look awful, even worse than usual!


I've been cramming all week for my calculus exam,


and if you three don't back off,


I'll do some more cramming!


How can you be so angry when it's inventory day?


Inventory? Nooo!


It's the best day of the year!


EEEEEEEE!


I need a coffee. Or a blood transfusion.


Or a lobotomy.


Let's practice counting things!


I call the baby tees!


EEEEEEE!


What?


Everyone wants to know where you are.


Do you look as crappy as you sound?


I have more important things to worry about than how I look.


I just have to get through this exam and I can sleep for a week.


Oh, no! What?


Did your zit burst! Worse.



Stone is coming this way!


I can't believe my putrid luck.


Your ex-boyfriend Stone?!


The only thing you can do at a time like this is hide!


Hey Nikki, is that you?


Whoa. You look so...


uh... different.


Oh, hey Stone.


What a surprise.


This is my girlfriend, Mimi.


Here...


buy yourself some lunch.


Pookums, this is Nikki. my ex-girlfriend.


I gotta get back to work.


Wow, has she ever changed.


Argh!


Why do we have so many cricket bats?


Good work, Masterson!


You stayed in your shoes that time.


You're ready to place your first order.


Bring it on, Coach.


All right, the sales rep is right over there.


Go get him. Eye of the tiger!


Hi, I'm Jen.


[ ♪ ]


Well, aren't you the prettiest Assistant Coach I've ever seen.


Right back at -- I mean, you're the hottest --


I mean, nice to meet you.


What do you say I show you some of our new merch?


Just you and me? Okay!


We just got this fantastic line in from the States --


[ ♪ ]


I recommend taking at least this many units.


Sign here.


That sounds nice...


[ALL DREAMY] Sign here.


I'll place this order right away!


A boy with eyes that blue has to know what's best.


I just ordered , units of wrestling equipment!


MASTERSON! Oh no. I am so dead.


Well, with you as my Assistant Coach, Masterson,


I can finally take a lunch...


GAH! What is that?!


Hmm.


I wonder where THAT came from?


I'm sorry!


I ordered , units of wrestling equipment!


Why?! There's no market for this!


What are you, a second stringer?!


The rep said it's very popular on TV


and would sell like hotcakes.


Reps will say anything!


You're not supposed to listen!


I oughta bench you for life!


Here's my letter or resignation...


You can't quit now!


You're gonna stay right here


until every single piece of wrestling equipment is sold.


Do I make myself clear?


Crystal.


THEN I'll decide what to do with you.


I know you're in your secret change room,


so you can stop pretending.


NIKKIGo away!


I know what happened with Stone.


How is that? It just happened!


It doesn't take long for things to get around the mall.


Arghhhhh!


You can't let Stone win.


You don't want him thinking


you're some total greasy-haired zitty outcast, do you?


Thanks.


You need to get out there and show Stone


you're the goddess he can't have!


Stone already saw me looking like crap.


Besides, I don't care what he thinks.


Obviously you do, or you wouldn't be hiding in here.


Well, maybe I just need a little privacy.


By the time I'm finished with you,


Stone will be begging you to take him back.


But I don't want him back! I'm with Jonesy.


You just want the option of having Stone back


so you reject him,


therefore making the dumper the dumpee.


I have no idea what you just said.


Perfect. Now, let's get started!


[ WEAK WHISTLE ]


Get your wrestling gear here!


It will fit anyone -- not that your just anyone!


Or fat! Oops.


Chartreuse is definitely your colour!


The tights provide great support,


and the boots will cut your mall-walking time in half!


You're contravening bylaw ...


no flogging merchandise in a fire corridor.


Vacate the premises immediately, little lady.


Maybe you'd like a pair?


If the Viet Cong couldn't get me into a pair of those in a Tiger Cage,


do you really think you can?


[ CELL PHONE MELODY PLAYS ]



I don't wanna talk to anyone.


Good, because you'll cr*ck. Hello?


Caitlin, where's Nikki?


I need to talk to her right away!


She's can't talk right now.


Is she upset about Stone?


I heard what happened.


Her heinous zit required so much cover-up


she can't speak till it's dry.


I'll put you on speaker.


Hey, Nikki! Are you feeling better?


Get down and don't move.


Jonesy's gonna wonder what we're up to.


JENI ordered way too much wrestling equipment,


and I'm gonna get fired if I don't sell it!


What am I gonna do?


I'm up to my ears in tights and boots!


Let us -- I mean, 'me' get back to you.


[ LAUGHS ]


Jen is getting fired?


I have to go welcome her to my world.


Maybe we should see if we can help her out, dude.


We could bring her a coffee or something.


Or we could just go over and laugh at her.


That works too.


What a bunch of --


Shh! No talking.


Your zit cover will break.


Operation "Show-Stone-how- amazing-your-life-is- post-dumpage"


has officially commenced!


Now, to draw up a schedule of ambushes...


I'm toast.


Toast?!


That's a lame name for a wrestler.


What are you guys doing here?


Are you kidding?


I'm a major fan of the Square Circle!


I've been a wrestling fan since I was in diapers!


I thought we came here to help Jen?


Care to put your jockstrap where you're mouth is, punk?!


That's some nasty imagery, bro.


If I get to wear this I feel I am up to any challenge.


Hey! You guys should put on a wrestling exhibition


and wear the outfits!


Yeah!


And once people see ME in the ring,


this gear will sell out in no time!


Thanks, guys.


You have challenged The Stud!


Fear his wrath!


Mellowman does not know the meaning of the word fear!


Wrath is pretty sketchy too.


[ WHISTLE! ]


Annnnd... wrestle!


[ ♪ ]


Umph! Argh!


You're cheating!


Come on! Hey, hey, ow!


[WHISTLE] Not that kind of wrestling!


Masterson and idiotic friends!


Out of the ring.


The Stud answers to no man.


You are about to enter a world of pain, son.


Enter the Thunderdome, Tweety!


[ GROWL ]


This is called the 'Spirit Crusher'.


It's outlawed by the Geneva Convention.


[ GULP ]


Look, there's...


[GASP] Number !


Where? Where?


I submit to...


The Stud!


[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]


STUD! STUD! STUD!


The Stud wins!


[ CASH REGISTER RINGS ]


And he can stay as long as the merchandise continues to move.


Nice work.


Only if I get a piece of the action!


All right.


The Stud will take on all challengers!


Uhh... what is going on?


What's Yummy Mommy doing to Jonsey?!


And why is he in tights!?


I need to check this out.


Wait, Nikki.


You've got enough to worry about with Stone.


I'll go check it out and get back to you.


[ SIGH ]


AH! ARGH! HEY! HEY!


CROWDStud! Stud! Stud!


Yummy Mummy's down for the count!


The Stud's reign has been impressive.


Another competitor already?


Will they ever learn?!


With your sudden sensationalism


Wonder Taco wants to sponsor you.


Sweet!


The Stud will now field offers from any and all sponsors.



I've got tons of free body space!


I'll even tattoo for the right price!


Hmmmm, something stinks.


The Stud isn't afraid of you.


The rivalry between The Stud


and Ron-the-Rent-A-Cop goes waaaay back.


'Til at least last year.


My money's on The Stud.


You're going down for the three count, Stud.


Mark my -- whooooa!


WYATTOh, what a hold!


[ RON YELLING AND HOLLERING ]


WYATTWhat a toss!


The Stud remains undefeated!


Whoo-hoo!


And he's winning too!


Oh, you'll pay for this, Stud.


[ ♪♪ SUSPENSE ]


[ ♪ ]


Jen filed me in on your sitch.


I don't have much time.


This goop feels awesome!


It's my secret w*apon.


You're gonna be untouchable.


You'll see!


Wow, Coach is going all out.


All right! Who wants a smack down from the Stud?


Stud! Stud! Stud! Stud! Stud!


AWWWW! YOU ARE SO GOING...


DOOOWWWW-WWWW-NNNN!


Oh, that's just wrong...


[ ♪ ]


Ooh.


Talk about crushin' the kiwis!


[ GASPING FOR BREATH ]


So, what's going on with Jonesy?


He's helping Jen out.


I'll get back to him later.


Right now, I am here for you.


So lets begin with Step One.


Stepping on Stone.


We'll start with your posture.


What's wrong with my posture?


A person's stance communicates how they feel about themselves.


Slouching tells me that you're down and depressed.


Wow, you sure are good at reading people.


I know.


Now, we want Stone to think you're sexy and seductive.


C'mon, it'll be fun!


Pretend you're Liza Loman,


about to meet her Taco tycoon!


You're sexy,


seductive.


More pout...


Eh, less pout.


Now you just look silly.


Really. You don't say.


Stone will be along in a sec.


Now, go GET that guy!


[ SIGH ]


WHOA!


Nikki?


Hey, Stone.


'Course I take bets... What's it gonna be?


Five bucks on Wayne.


Please! I'm smoking his butt!


Sorry, no refunds.


Okay, you may continue...


You look so pretty!


I don't believe this.


Caitlin! A DRESS?!


You left me no choice.


If you can't say sexy with your bod,


you'll have to say it another way.


Stone's coming!


Just let the dress do the talking.


I've gotta go.


Stone!


AH! Oh!


Uh hi, Nikki.


Ohhhhh.


[ CHEERING AND CHANTING ]


Ow.


[ BELL ]


Oooh, the Sleeper Hold!


Kid is out like a light!


Well, there you have it.


The Stud's given them all the slip!


That'll be $ , please!


Hey, it's The Stud!


I could definitely get used to this...


Screaming fans, hot chicks --


Hey, where's Nikki?


I haven't seen her all day.


Nikki is trying to prove to Stone


that she's still got it going on.


Got what going on?!


Why would she care what Stone thinks?


She's with The Stud now!


True, but Stone saw her with greasy hair and a monster zit.



So she has to prove that she's still hot.


And that she's moved on.


But she HAS moved on!


Stone doesn't know that.


He would if she were here with me,


instead of chasing after him.


You just don't get guys.


No, I don't get girls.


[ CELL PHONE ]


That's Nikki! Round two for me!


Since the dress didn't work,


we'll have to hit Stone where he lives.


In his gut.


The way to a guy's heart is through his stomach.


What's his favourite treat?


Uhhh, extra buttered popcorn.


Offer to buy him some, then chat him up.


That should be long enough for him to see how great you look.


Caitlin, I can't do this!


This is ridiculous!


Nikki? Hey, Stone.


Can I get you some extra buttered popcorn?


Be sexy!


CROWDStud! Stud! Stud!


Who wants to be The Stud's next challenger?


Who's it gonna be?


Anyone?!


Well! It looks like I'm the champ!


Not until we move all this gear, you're not...


Oh My!


I can't fight him.


He's ripped!


Just rip his head off. What?!


Er. Never mind.


OUF!


AHHH!


JONESYMercy!


Mercy!


A-ha! Illegal gambling!


JONESYI give up!


I've got you now.


JONESYI give up!


We have a new champion!


[ CROWD GASPS ]


Darth?


No Fair! You cheated!


Me?!


You've been cheating the whole time!


Have not!


What's this painfully unathletic guy talking about, anyway?


Caitlin's been covering Jonesy in slippery gel.


[ THE CROWD REACTS ]


What?!


That stuff's just for sore muscles.


Caitlin!


It's called 'Creep Off'.


Creeps slide right off.


Uh-oh.


[ GULP ]


Hey! Give those back.


Can't we talk about this?


Ahhhhh! Oooowwwwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!


I'm shutting this place down for illegal gambling.


That's ridiculous!


Hey, stupid, are you involved in this?


No way! I'll take a cut though!


You're fired!


[ ♪ ]


Did you manage to move all the wrestling gear?


No.


There's still a hundred pairs of man tights left.


And the ring.


I guess I'd better start looking for a new job.


[ WHISTLE! ]


Ahhhh!


We may not have gotten rid of all the wrestling gear,


but the number of customers in the store


resulted in record sales.


Plus, the Stud here


waived part of his profits to make the books balance.


So you can keep your job, Masterson.


Thank you, Coach!


[ LOUD WHISTLE ]


That's your old job! No Assistant Coach!


I won't let you down again, sir!


You gave up your profits for me?


Whatever. Didn't need the extra coin.


Thanks, Jonesy.


Wow, I guess I missed a lot today.


Yeah, like all my wrestling moves!


You've got some making up to do.


Awww Jonesy, I'm sorr --


AH! Ew!


You're forgiven! No need to kiss my feet.


Poor girl never was the same after I dumped her.


[ GROAN ]


[ ♪ ]