04x19 - Episode 19

[bunniefuu]

[triumphant fanfare]

- He's just a bike courier working

on two hours' sleep.

*

[percussive music]

He's just a bike courier who drives and sweats

in a silent scream for life.

He pedals...

[car horn blares]

His revs soar higher than an eagle...

as he cuts through traffic like a Ginsu Kn*fe of hope.

*

- [screams]

[car horn blares]

Whoa!

- He carries packages,

but he don't think about the past.

Delivers your packages, Mister.

But he don't go from point A to point B.

He goes under cars, around traffic...

and over time.

*

He's pounds,

but he eats all the time.

He just lives that fast.

And he'd go tell a -pound truck driver

to go screw a fence.

- Hey, I'm vulnerable here!

*

Fatty!

Fat-ty!

- Why is that?

Because he's a bike courier with a death wish,

operating on two hours' sleep.

*

[laid-back rock music]

*

[all speaking at once]

- No, thank you.

No, thank you.

Thank you very much, but, no, thank you.

No, thanks.

- Shoe-- I shine your shoe--

- No, thank you. Thank you very much.

But, no, thank you.

[all speaking at once]

- Thank you very much, but, no, thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

I just want to-- I just want to eat my meal.

But thank you very much. - [speaking foreign language]

Ohh. - Thanks very much.

It's very nice-- - Ohh--[gasps]

Look, Joe-- they do to your shoe.

I polish for you.

- No, thanks. That's okay.

- Ah! I do for free.

- Oh, all right.

Uh, thanks. - I do for free.

- Thanks. Thanks very much.

- I do for free. - Thank you. Thank you.

- I finish.

- Thanks, yes.

- Look, I do good job, ah?

- Yeah, but, uh,

they are sandals.

- Ah.

Yes, I do good job.

Maybe you pay me for job?

Huh? - [laughs]

- Pay me. - Okay. Okay.

Okay, how much?

- American dollar only.

- Oh, no. - Only.

- That's too much. I can't pay that.

I can't--I'll pay you $, all right?

- $. - No, I'll pay $.

- $. - $.

- Okay. - Okay.

Here you go. Here you go. - Come on.

- Thanks, sir. - [gasps]

You are from United States, no?

- Um, no, I'm Canadian, actually.

That's--It's like an American, but without a g*n.

- Ohh.

[laughs]

Canadian--Canada-- very cold.

- No, not all the time. - No?

- No, um, right now, it's summer there,

so it's as hot there as it is here.

- Ohh, no can be, Joe.

- Yeah. - No.

- Yeah. - No.

- Yes. - No.

- Yes. - Yes, I know.

I just make joke.

[laughs]

- Good joke. - Yes, it's good joke, no?

- Very good joke, yes. - You pay me $ for joke.

- No.

- But it's good joke, no?

- Okay, $.

- $ - $.

- Okay.

- All right.

There you go.

- Uh-oh.

- So, uh...

Where are you from?

- Here.

I am Filipino.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

- It's just, that's a surprise because, um--

well, because you're--

- Ah? - Well, you're white.

- Ohh. Yes, I am berry white.

- Yes, you are.

- Yes, I am berry white.

- Yes, you are berry white.

- No, Barry White is black man.

[in low voice] Baby.

[laughs]

I make joke-joke. - Good joke.

Very good joke. - [laughing]

Good joke. You pay for joke.

- Oh, okay.

There you go. - No, this is joke.

[both laughing]

- But this joke you pay for.

You have wife?

- No, I'm not married.

- No? - No.

- You are no married?

- No. - But you are old, no?

- Eh. - You should be married.

- Mm. - But you have many chicks, no?

Huh? Chicks, chicks, chicks.

[laughs]

- No, not really, no.

- Ah. Just one, ah?

Your sweetheart.

- No, not really.

- No?

You have no wife, no chicks,

no sweetheart.

[gasps] Joe.

You want to make love with Filipino boy.

- Yes!

- Ah, $.

- Fair enough.

- Good.

Joe, you should have bargained. I would have done for $.

- Oh-ho. I'd have paid $.

- Ohh, come, Joe.

[laid-back rock music]

[slow bluesy music]

*

- My sweet lily,

how I have missed your petals.

- You're late.

And you said you'd be early.

You betrayed me!

- But, baby, the busses were all backward.

- Hey, I'm not a victim.

I'm charging you.

Get the cops!

- Baby, that's too cruel.

- Hey, what's the disturbance here?

- I'm charging him.

- But, baby, I love you.

I love you with my tiny little heart.

- Yeah, right. Come on, pal.

- Yeah, hold on, Wendell.

What's the charge?

- Well, for six months he's been sitting on the couch,

complaining he hurt his back,

and then he farts, and he thinks it's funny!

- One time, baby. I had a bad burrito.

- He's always bringing his friends over.

They bring their greasy carburetors

right into the kitchen.

He gives them our last sandwiches.

It's impossible to have a decent life

with all his friggin' and fraggin'!

- Could you be more specific?

- He's a farter!

He's a fartin' machine!

- That's not a charge.

- It isn't? Well, it should be!

Well, how 'bout littering?

- Okay, pal, that's the last pair of "Phantom" tickets

you toss away.

Let's go.

- Aw, baby, I'll wait for you.

I'll wait for my baby boy.

- You fingered me, you betrayed me--

you're dead to me, baby!

- Come on, sweetness.

- Oh, sugar.

- Hon, don't let prison change you, make you hard.

- Change me?

You don't like me the way I am?

You think I'm too small?

You think I'm too wee to do labor work?

That's where you're wrong!

I use the big shovel!

I use the big shovel.

- Okay--no--thing of beauty.

Let him go.

I'm droppin' the charges. I'm droppin' the charges!

- Well, I'm chargingyou!

- What?

- You just wanted me in jail so you could flit around, eh?

Having guys over, drinkin' my rye and my root beer.

You're charged.

- Aw, come on, I only drink when I feel like getting drunk!

- You're right.

How can I tell thee how I love thee?

- You can drop the charges.

- I'm dropping the charges.

I can't charge the woman I love.

Come to me, sweetest.

- You're a coward.

You won't commit to any decision you make.

- But, baby, we got along together.

- Oh, yeah, no interest till ,

and he goes and farts up the furniture.

It's got no resale value at all.

I'm charging him. I'm charging him.

Take him away! - Well, I'm chargingyou!

- Hold on, you guys got to have charges.

- Well, she dyes her hair too much.

- Oh, well, there you go for that.

- Baby, you broke my nose.

- Oh, now, there's a charge.

- What? - What?

- Right, as*ault. That's a charge.

- What, you can't hit a guy?

- That's ludicrous.

The judicial system will grind to a halt.

How long's this been going on?

- Are you gonna charge her or not?

- I'm charging her.

But I'll drop the charges if she'll be my bride.

all: Aww.

- Oh, my lovely boy.

- My Methuselah.

[both whimpering]

- But are you sure?

Remember, we promised not to do anything when we were drunk

after we bought that furniture.

- You broke my nose, baby. Let's break that vow.

- Oh, God, I love you.

- I love you. - I love you.

- I love you.

- And you know I never would have charged you.

- I wouldn't chargeyou.

- I never-- you know that, don't you?

- I'm charging you both with disturbing the peace!

I'mtryi to do a show!

- That was the Phantom.

You couldn't get his autograph? He was standing right there.

- Why didn't you get it, you piece of white trash?

- Don't you call me a piece of white trash!

I'll take it out on you!

[rockabilly music]

*

- Yeah. - Yeah.

It's, uh-- It's quite spectacular.

It's wonderful.

- Afternoon, gentlemen. - Oh, Graham.

- Hello, Graham. - Hi.

- Graham, we just want to tell you

how much we love your design.

- Oh, great to hear. I'm really proud of it.

I know it's not % there,

but I'd be glad to hear any suggestions you have.

- Great, 'cause we had one thought.

- Oh, please, please. Love to hear. sh**t.

- Well, Graham, we just thought,

considering the money that we have budgeted

for this project, that we--

- We could live without the atrium.

- Yeah, Graham, that's it.

- Yeah.

- Hm.

That's an interesting suggestion.

- Oh, good. - Thank you.

- Especially since I based everything around the atrium.

So let me get this straight.

You like everything around the atrium,

but you don't like the atrium itself.

The atrium I see as sort of the heart of the building.

So what you're asking me to do is to cut out

the heart of the building.

Well, I'd rather cut my heart out!

You don't want an architect! You want a butcher!

Well, screw you, and screw your friend!

Unless you're more important--

then screw you, and screw your friend!

I'm out of here!

- Gee, you know, if he feels that strongly

about it,

I think maybe we should put the atrium back in.

- I mean, we can find the money somewhere, right?

- He has this vision.

I think we should respect it.

- So it's in.

- It's in. - Okay.

- Okay. - And--

- Look, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean...

- Hey. - To blow up like that.

- No. - You're dead right.

We don't need the atrium.

- Graham, Graham, no. We've already discussed it.

We're putting the atrium back in.

- The atrium in, it's a done deal.

- No, no, no. It doesn't fit the budget.

We don't need the atrium. It's out.

- Well, if you're--if you're sure you're okay with this,

Graham, okay, the atrium's out.

- Thanks, Graham. It'll save us a lot of money.

- So you're taking the atrium out?

But why'd you put it in?

Did you put it in just so you could take it out?

Are you two playing games with me?

I'm here for your amusement?

Well, you two can play your sick little games without me!

Screw you, and screw you, 'cause I'm out of here!

- Look, it really isn't worth this.

Let's put the atrium back in. - Agreed. Agreed.

- Agreed? Okay. Great.

[phone ringing]

Oh, hold on.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Graham.

No, no, no, that's all right. Don't apologize.

No, that's fine. We understand.

Yes, yes, yes, a lot of stress and too much coffee--

I think we've all been there, Graham.

Well, no, Graham, we've decided to put the atrium back in.

We love the atrium. We're just mad about it.

- It's in, Gray. - Yeah.

Well--well--well, if--well, if you really insist, Graham,

but we really do--if-- okay, Graham.

Okay, Graham. If-If--If you insist.

Graham wants us to take the atrium out again.

- Sure.

- Okay.

Okay, Grah--Oh!

[indistinct chattering on the line]

- Look, I'm really sorry.

I don't know what I was thinking.

The atrium's a dumb, dumb idea.

- No, no, no, no, Graham. We love the atrium.

The atrium is definitely in.

- No, I'm embarrassed by it. Please, do me a favor.

Don't tell anyone about the atrium.

- Look,

I have an idea.

Why don't we compromise?

Why don't we put the atrium on wheels?

We can wheel the atrium in some days

and wheel it out other days.

- Gee, Don, I think that's a great idea.

- Yeah.

- It's a wonderful idea. Let's do it.

- Okay. Okay.

So we'll have the atrium in on Mondays.

We'll take her out on Tuesdays.

- Whoa.

In on Mondays and out on Tuesdays?

That makes no sense.

Do you two know anything about the days of the week?

People don't want to see the atrium on a Monday.

They've just had a weekend.

Tuesday's the day they want to see the atrium.

I'm sick and tired of dealing with fat-ass corporate execs!

You obviously care nothing about the common man!

The atrium's in; I'm out!

For him!

- Look, don't cry, Don.

- Look, I've forgotten, are we for this atrium

or against it?

- I don't know.

- Am I fat?

- No, you are not fat!

- Well, just say it if I am! - You're not fat!

[upbeat rock music]

- Finally.

*

- Tonight, a drunk chick from Winnipeg dances.

A girl from Winnipeg, or somewhere like Winnipeg,

dances, drunk and alone.

She's not the mayor of Winnipeg.

She's not Winnipeg Fast Eddie.

She's just a sweet chick from Winnipeg

with a futon and apartment

who tonight, dances alone with her head in a PA column.

Soon this song will end.

[music stops]

- Aw.

- She'll stop smiling and shaking.

But then, like a mighty river,

another song will start.

[upbeat rock music]

- All right!

*

- Sweet drunk chick from Winnipeg.

There she is.

Watch her go.

[twangy rock music]

*

- Uh, everyone?

Uh, today--today, we're gonna be tackling what is--

what is one of the most fundamental,

yet one of the most demanding drawing exercises

that many aspiring artists may undertake.

We're gonna be sketching the female nude today.

Um, but I'm gonna ask you not to focus on portraiture

so much at this point.

Just focus on--on lines and shadow and form, okay?

Uh, Sylvia, if you please.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey, hey!

- Yes, yes.

- 'Scuse me, Mr. Dwyer,

but, uh,

I--I took this class to learn how to sketch,

not to ogle some poor female nude.

all: Yeah. - Oh, wow.

Well, this isn't about ogling.

No, no, we're just gonna observe line and shadow and form.

- And we're gonna use economic repression

to once again exploit a woman's body.

all: Yeah.

- I don't think that's what we're doing here.

- No? - No.

- 'Scuse me.

Sister, are you being paid?

- Yes. - I rest my case.

- Well, of course she's being paid.

She's a professional artist model.

I--I see no reason why we shouldn't use her.

[all gasping]

- To use her? Use her?

You know, I wish you could hear yourself, sir.

Remember, language is a virus.

- Well, I--I certainly didn't mean to infect anyone.

I--

- That's no excuse.

Sexism is any context is never appropriate.

all: Mm-hmm.

- But what about our charcoal technique?

[all jeering]

- Don't change the subject here, sir.

This class is a travesty.

That poor woman-child

is just another victim of the patriarchy.

- That's right. - Mm-hmm.

- She is? - I am?

- Hate crime, hate crime.

- Not only that, it is also a r*cist construct!

- Mm-hmm. - That's right.

- This woman represents the same white image of beauty

that has oppressed women for centuries.

- Hate crime, hate crime.

- Where are the nude models of color?

- The people of girth, the handi-capable,

the elderly?

- The q*eer?

- Well, I'm sorry.

It's just naked fat black crippled ----

are hard to find.

[all yelling at once]

- Guys, guys.

I--I--I'm sorry I said that. I apologize.

- You white male.

- Stop trying to go off my black anger!

- I'm just trying to understand your black anger.

Show it to me again.

- Shut up!

- Thank you. I understand now.

- Sir, you leave me only one alternative.

I must walk out and call for a boycott

of your classes.

- Anybody who stays is obviously a r*cist!

- Or a h*m*!

both: Shut up!

- Well, you know, these issues are certainly valid,

and, uh--we could have a-- a discussion--bye.

Well, okay.

Uh, I assume we have serious artists left.

Uh, uh, Sylvia, if you please.

- Ooh, ooh! - Come on, take it off, baby!

Come on! Take it right off!

- Oh, no, no, no. Out! Everyone, out.

Come on, out of here!

Out, come on. Move it, move it, out!

I'm disgusted. I'm terribly--I'm so sorry.

S--I'm--Sylvia, I'm just--

[sighs]

[laid-back rock music]

- Brenda!

[percussive music]

- He's just a hopeless romantic,

but he's in way over his head.

He's just a guy who believes those things like,

where the guy gets the girl in the end,

and if it's meant to be, it'll happen.

Sad guy pacing outside, ring in his pocket,

his head locked on a single idea:

purity of love and destiny.

The heart thumps; its b*at can protect you.

Or can it?

*

But if you love her and you want her,

all you got to do is let her know.

Don't you?

- Is this happening, or what?

- Brenda!

- Sorry, not this time.

- Brenda!

[smooching]

Brenda, please.

Let me in.

Brenda!

I love your hair.

- He's just a hopeless romantic,

but he's in way over his head.

- Brenda.

Please.

Just let me in.

It's real!

- Mm-hmm.

Okay, boom, baby, don't worry about--mmm.

- Sandra, how come you never...

you know?

- I don't know, I just-- I don't like it.

- Why not?

- I don't know. I guess it doesn't feel right.

I don't know.

- Oral sex...

is important to a man's sense of pride.

It's part of God's plan.

- Look, drop it, okay?

[angelic music]

*

- Geez!

It's the friggin' Village People!

- Do not be afraid, my children.

I come in peace.

- Who are you?

- I'm an angel.

My name is Bob.

I'm here to help you through your sex crisis.

- Yeah, and how?

- Well, let's just say that I am an angelic surrogate.

- There's no such thing as angels.

- No?

Well, what would you call

someone who flew around the world

performing oral sex on men for free?

- An angel.

- I thought you'd see it my way.

Alex Chapman, prepare to meet your destiny.

- Hey!

I'm not gay.

- Well, that doesn't matter.

- Wait a minute.

Are you trying to do my husband?

- Well, I prefer to call it sexual healing.

- Well, this I've got to see.

But one question:

are a lot of angels gay?

- Well, let's just say that a lot of us used to be waiters.

- Well, you know, my gay friend Stephen says

that he prefers to give than to receive.

- Oh.

Well, that's because your friend Stephen is also an angel.

- Ohh. - Yes, that's right.

There's millions of gay angels like that all over the world,

doing unto others what they would have others to unto them.

We try harder, Alex, because we know how it feels.

- Wow, what a moving speech.

- Buckle up, mortal.

- Hey, I told you.

I'm strictly for the ladies.

- Do you believe that I am an angel?

- Yeah.

- Then close your eyes, and believe!

[in high-pitched voice] Hello! Hi, my name's Suzy.

I would love to do you.

- All right, Suzy!

- Thanks, Bob.

I really learned a lot tonight.

- It was my pleasure, Sandra.

- Oh, and one question. - Yes?

- Is he gonna be able to make it to work in the morning?

- Not a chance.

Got to go.

- We will see you again, won't we?

- Oh, yeah.

All you have to do is whistle.

You know how to whistle, don't you?

Put your lips together, and....

I'll handle the rest.

- All right, Suzy!

[angelic music]

*

**