04x24 - Mr. Anderson's Balls

[bunniefuu]

MR ANDERSON'S BALLS

Hey Butt-Head... like,
what the hell are we doing here?

I already told you, dumbass.
We're looking for that missing kid.

Oh yeah!
Why?

So we can, like, get our
pictures on milk cartons.

Then we can get that award money
for his capture.

Oh yeah. Yeah.

Money! Money!
Money!

Cool.

Look what I got!

"Tit-lee-ist".

Cool.

Hey, you boys seen a golf
ball come through here?

No.

Tit-lee-ist.

Damn it! I could've sworn
it landed somewhere around here.

Tit-lee-ist. Tit-lee-ist. Titicaca.

What?

What'd he say?

I think he said something
about whores, and like, junk.

- Whores and garbage, that's pretty cool.
- Yeah, you can't beat that.

- Yeah I can!
- Dammit, Beavis.

- Don't start with me today!
- I wasn't. I was starting with me.

What's he saying?

"Get your rock salt?"
What's "rock salt"?

You know, like, doing it.

Oh really?

It seems like, you
know, like, like,

like most songs are
about doing it, you know?

Yeah.

You got a problem with that, Beavis?

- No.
- That's the way it should be.

Oh yeah.

This like...
kinda rocks.

Yeah, yeah, like, you
know, like... rock salt, yeah.

Okay, Beavis.

Butt-Head, I just
saw a girl's butt!

There's a lot of chick's
butts in here, Beavis.

No, I mean she was naked.

You're not allowed to
show a naked butt on TV.

Well, it looked alot like a chick
naked but... that was pretty cool.

Hey Beavis. Check it out!

He's washing his balls.

Yeah. I should do that.
Check these out.

Beavis, your balls are filthy!

Go to the ball washer. Now!

Ok, yeah.

You're pulling your head on
every stroke. Let me see your bag.

Here, take your wood and try
using a different grip on the shaft.

Hey fellas.

I was wondering if you fellas had
a few balls you'd like to sell.

Tit-lee-ist.

I'll give you a dollar for those three.

Hey Beavis... we could
get rich doing this.

We need to get more balls.

Yeah.

You should have heard
what you just said, Butt-Head.

You said:
"We need to get more balls".

Oh yeah.

HOLE 9

Now, I know I'm starting to
sound like a broken record,

but y'all seen a golf ball around here?

- No.
- Yeah, no.

Damn it. Another
two-stroke penalty.

I'm damn near out of balls. These things
ain't getting any cheaper, neither.

This is gonna be cool.

Yeah.

Damn it!

Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

Damn it! Damn it!
Damn it! Damn it!

How come she's counting?
Counting sucks!

Maybe she's like, counting
how many times she's done it.

Oh yeah, yeah.
Counting rules!

Is this Romper Room?

- I wouldn't know, Beavis.
- Oh yeah, me neither.

I don't know. I don't know whether
this is Romper Room or not.

Who's that five-year-old girl
who keeps bouncing around?

Yeah, really.
She sure can't dance.

Like, what's the snif-gig-ligance
of that girl being there?

- The what?
- You know, the sih...

I forgot. Hey, get
away from his wiener!

- Get away!
- Settle down, Beavis.

What are you, like, the wiener
police or something?

Well, how would you like it if
some chick tried to touch your wiener?

Wait a minute...

What?

- Shut up Butt-Head, shut up!
- You dumbass!

You just weren't listening.
I said, like, you know, like:

How would you like it if, you
know, some girl was touching

your wiener? That'd be pretty cool.
That's what I meant. Dumbass!

- Yeah, right.
- Shut up, Butt-Head.

I was, like, I wasn't
concentrating, that's all, yeah.

What do you say there, Tom?
How'd you hit them?

Boy, I tell you what, Dusty.

I felt like a one-legged cat trying to bury
turds on a frozen pond out there today.

- And I still got three holes to go.
- So what the hell are you doing up here?

Hell, I'm completely out of balls.
I lost every damn one of them.

Craziest thing I ever saw.

Well, don't waste your
money in the pro shop.

Couple of kids down there are selling
some pretty nice balls real cheap.

- They're, like, really good balls.
- Yeah, yeah.

And they fit right in the hole.

What you got there, fellas?

Balls.

Yeah. One dollar.

Hey now, wait a minute!
These look kind of familiar.

Many balls look the same, sir.

Yeah. I have two
that are identical.

A dollar each
you say, huh? Damn.

These things ain't
getting any cheaper.

k*ll everything.
k*ll everything.

Yeah! Yeah!
k*ll everything! Yeah, ok!

k*ll everything!
Except me.

Dammit, Beavis.

Don't you care about
anybody but yourself?

No.

No. I don't care about anybody
or anything, except me.

What about when
I'm kicking your ass?

Do you care about me then?

No... I just care
about my ass.

It is each man for himself.

I will fight and
die for myself!

Well...

I guess that's a good thing
because, like, nobody likes you.

And like, you can like, care about yourself
while I'm off scoring with chicks.

- Whoa! Higher!
- Higher! Higher!

Higher!
Higher!

Settle down, dumbass.

Whoa, Butt-Head,
that chick doesn't have a head!

Oh yeah.

That's like that joke.

What does the
perfect woman look like?

Yeah? What?

I don't know, she's like, you know...
probably pretty hot.

I think it's like, she has
big thingies or something?

Oh yeah, that's pretty funny.

She has big thingies.