01x20 - The Birth of My Little Sister, the Maid

[bunniefuu]

Storm clouds? Or what?

[BOTH gasp]

Wow! It's so pretty!

[gasps]

Huh? You okay, Momma?

[LILIA gasping]

[gasps] Aisha, love, are you awake? Aisha!

[coughs]

That's strange, those are front gates of the Shirone capitol.

How did we get here?

[NOBLEWOMAN A screams]

[SOLDIER A] State your business.

I beg your pardon, but I believe a woman

named Roxy Migurdia lives in this castle.

May I request an audience with her?

What a suspicious request. Who are you?

Hold it! First, tell me how you know my Roxy.

[RUDEUS] Hi. I'm Rudeus, a former jobless bum.

Today we're checking out a free apartment in Shirone.

That's right: no deposit, no fees, no rent.

You may not think it looks like much,

and you'd be right!

There's no bed, and the lack of toilet

means whatever material your pants are made of,

they're gonna be getting a workout,

but you just can't b*at this price.

And get a load of this reassuring security!

Once you're inside, all magic is nullified,

and it's impossible to leave!

[sighs] Ya know, I think once was prob'ly enough

for that particular bit.

[RUDEUS] Ruijerd! Eris!

Hurry up and rescue me already! I'm begging you!

I am Zanoba, third prince of Shirone Kingdom.

Please state your name for me, young traveler.

My name is Rudeus Greyrat.

It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

Indeed.

May I ask what brings you here today, Your Highness?

[ZANOBA] Where did you get this demon figure?

Well? Ginger tells me it was in

the pack she confiscated from you.

[RUDEUS] How am I supposed to answer this?

What if it's considered a false idol in this kingdom?

I just stumbled on it while I was traveling.

I picked it up on the Demon Continent.

Aha! I knew this had to have been crafted by a demon!

Now, where exactly did you acquire it

and who sold it to you?

Do you know who the artist is?

I do not.

I just saw it and I liked it, so I bought it,

but I didn't ask for any specific details or anything.

Oh, well. If that's the case.

[ZANOBA] Do you, perchance, recognize this figurine?

[gasps]

[RUDEUS] That's the Roxy figure I made ages ago.

This one was discovered at a traveling merchant's stall

in the marketplace several years ago.

My brother noticed it bore a striking resemblance to Roxy,

our then court mage, and bought it at once,

but he's far too unrefined to appreciate its true value.

Hold on. Did you say Roxy was

your then court mage, like, not now?

[ZANOBA] Hm? That's correct.

My brother's constant sexual harassment

finally exceeded her tolerance, so she left.

--Huh? --But enough about her,

focus on this figurine a moment! Focus.

At first glance, it appears to simply depict

a magician brandishing her staff.

But the sense of movement is incredible.

The folds of the fabric, her billowing robe.

The way she steps out with one leg,

staff thrust out in fierce defiance!

An incredibly vivid moment.

And while most of her body remains covered,

the ever-so-slight exposure of her skin

exudes a faint eroticism.

She's clearly quite lithe, dare I say scrawny,

but enticing nonetheless.

Now, observe it from the rear!

A robe like this would normally obscure anyone's figure,

but her outstretched leg pulls the fabric

just tight enough to reveal

the faintest outline of her buttocks!

This expert presentation makes one long to see more.

And as if in answer.

Behold! Her robe is detachable.

I was shocked to discover that

it comes away in two pieces to reveal

her innocent frame in naught but her skivvies!

But that's not all: you'll notice her left hand

is now covering her chest!

"How odd," you may think.

"Wasn't she grasping her staff mere moments ago?"

But if you examine the pieces of her robe you've pulled away,

you'll see that arm detached with it!

Yes! Yes! This figurine has three arms!

With this little gimmick, two separate figurines,

one robed, one in her underwear, are rolled into one!

Genius! Truly magnificent!

This is an object of most exquisite quality and nuance,

reaching heights far beyond what crude

dwarven carvings could ever hope to achieve!

[RUDEUS chuckles] Wow. He spotted every minute detail!

You, sir, have singlehandedly made

all that hard work worthwhile.

Wait a sec. The mole under her armpit is missing.

Huh? Ah, yes, there used to be a dark spot near her hand.

But I felt it detracted from the figurine's beauty,

so I shaved it down.

[gasps] You. You did what?

[RUDEUS] I want you to take another look at her.

Huh?

[RUDEUS] Do you see that her hand doesn't quite reach?

[gasps]

[RUDEUS] Do you see now why she's posed to

hide her chest but not her mole?

It can't be. It's impossible.

[RUDEUS] That mole was supposed to be

the sexiest aspect of the design.

When her nipples are hidden, it stands out,

and her embarrassment stems from not being able to hide both.

I... I'm ashamed to admit

I've been blind for this entire time.

And in my ignorance,

I have defiled a flawless work of art.

If it's really gonna bother you that much,

I could always just put it back.

[ZANOBA gasps] Then you are the artist

who created this figurine!

Of course it was a student of the Water King!

I study your creation every day!

With each viewing, my respect for you only grows stronger!

Please allow me to pay my respects to your godlike hands!

No, allow me to call you Master!

I'll do anything you ask! In fact!

As I grovel at your feet,

I shall seal my loyalty with a kiss--

[ZANOBA gasps] Why is this barrier here?

Who dares keep me from you?

What is the meaning of this? [screams]

[RUDEUS] He's starting to remind me of those

mouth-breathing fanatics who

swarm conventions for new releases.

Master!

[knocking]

[SOLDIER B] Dark clouds hang low.

[SOLDIER A] Indeed, the storm is near.

[SOLDIER B] We can't thank you enough for

assisting us on such short notice.

[ERIS] All that stuff can wait!

I wanna know where Ru-- where the Kennel Master is now!

Y-Yes, of course, the "Kennel Master."

He's currently imprisoned in the palace dungeons.

[ERIS] Huh? Screw this, I'm going to rescue him!

[SOLDIER B] Please wait!

We need to make a request of you first!

[ERIS] You're kidding, right?

He'll be fine down there on his own, okay?

Ha.

Now then, what is it that you want from us?

[gasps] If you will, we need your help rescuing our families.

I thought we'd be assaulting a castle.

Explain yourselves.

In a vie for more power,

Prince Pax has taken our families hostage.

Huh? Why would he do that?

Oh! 'Cause he wants a bigger imperial guard, right?

So he's controlling soldiers in the palace garrison

by hurting their families.

He's not exactly quiet about it.

We still haven't given up hope of

setting things right and restoring order,

but you see why we can't act openly.

Our hands have been tied.

[SOLDIER B] So. Please! Lend us your aid!

[ERIS] Well, all right!

If that's how it is, just leave it to us!

Or to me. You should stay here, Eris.

Why should I?

It's far too dangerous to take Aisha with us.

It sounds scary.

[RUIJERD] Staying behind to guard her is a vital duty.

I hear ya. We'll be right here until you get back.

[SOLDIER B] I'll guide you!

No need for that. I've already found them.

[ZANOBA] Where is it, where is it, where is it, where is it?

I simply can't find the mechanism anywhere!

[RUDEUS] Are any of you subordinates

barrier experts, by chance?

I don't have any subordinates.

Ginger was my last guard,

but I traded her to Pax for the Roxy figure.

What a fantastic bargain that was!

[RUDEUS] Ah. So he's a moron, too.

Well, I guess I'm gonna stay trapped in here forever.

Now I'll never teach you what I know.

You what? No!

[ZANOBA cries] What a calamity!

Hey, as long as you can find someone

who can get me out of here,

I'll gladly take you on as my apprentice.

Really? You mean I don't have to do it myself? Very well!

[ZANOBA] In other words, Master.

I merely have to do something about Pax?

[RUDEUS] Huh? Uh, yeah, I guess so.

Understood, sir.

I promise I won't keep you waiting long.

[gasps] Well, don't leave yet!

I really think we oughtta talk about this first!

What's your plan--?

Or just walk off, that's fine, too.

What's all that about?

[SOLDIER B] Dammit! Why now? Get up here! It's an emergency!

[ERIS] Huh?

There's a madman in the castle.

That spikey equipment is used to

restrain him when he loses control.

He's what's known as a "Blessed Child."

Blessed Children are born with some kind of unique ability,

like teleportation or fire-breathing.

This one possesses incredible physical strength,

so he's considered a highly useful m*llitary power.

So, the kingdom handles him with great care

and values him highly no matter what he does.

When he was three, he tore his own baby brother's head off.

Now, he decapitates anyone who displeases him.

[ERIS] Wow. I didn't know anyone was that strong!

I wanna fight a guy like that someday.

[PAX screams]

[SOLDIER A] Prince Zanoba!

Prince Zanoba, stand down at once!

Please, sir!

[PAX] Stop! Stop it! Zanoba!

Who is that guy?

[AISHA gasps] That's the man I was telling you about.

Zanoba Shirone, the Decapitator Prince!

[AISHA] Miss?

Zanoba, stop! Put me down at once, you fool!

Well, Master? What do you think?

Will you officially make me your apprentice now?

Prince Zanoba, unhand your brother this instant!

[PAX] Zanoba! Let go! You'll split my skull!

[ZANOBA] Hush, Pax.

[PAX screams]

[ZANOBA] If you wish to save yourself,

you can release Master Rudeus.

[PAX] No! Never!

I need him as bait to lure Roxy back h-- [screams]

That hurts!

Please, Prince!

[PAX] Oh! Ginger! Save me!

Think about your family! I'll git 'em! I swear!

[PAX screams]

Oh, don't listen to that crap,

your families are gonna be just fine.

Ruijerd's out rescuing them right now.

And Ruijerd is who?

[ERIS] He's a good friend of ours!

He's really nice and super strong. He's a Superd!

[SOLDIERS gasp]

You can't be serious!

We've enlisted the help of a Superd warrior?

[PAX] Ginger! What are you doing?

Take that back out!

Forgive me, but I originally swore

my loyalty to Prince Zanoba,

therefore I cannot defy His Highness's will.

Wait, that's not how that works, is it?

[ZANOBA] Pax, do you intend to keep me waiting?

Don't forget I could rip your head

from your shoulders at any moment.

[ZANOBA chuckling]

[PAX groaning]

[PAX shrieks] Fine, you win, I'll do whatever you want,

just let go of me, brother, I'm begging you, please!

[ZANOBA] Ah! Splendid.

But let's make absolutely sure you've learned your lesson, hm?

[screams] My arm! My arm!

Goodness me.

Regular humans are such fragile creatures, aren't they?

[PAX] It's not supposed to bend that way!

[RUDEUS] Wait. So we're square now?

Was Ginger on my side the whole time?

I'm totally lost.

[RUDEUS] This incident kicked off when

I rescued Aisha the other day.

My silent spellcasting clued the soldiers in

to the fact that I was Roxy's student.

Originally, they intended to explain things to me

and ask for my help with their families.

But that plan hit a snag when I

wrote to the castle too soon and got locked up.

They were my "acquaintances," not Roxy.

I guess Ginger was working behind the scenes, too.

She must have given Zanoba that figure

because she knew he'd come ask about it.

But if that's the case, I wonder why she didn't

warn me about any of this when we met.

I could've handled everything way better if she had.

Now I kinda feel left out.

[RUDEUS] Although.

Guess you can't be too careful when your family's in danger.

Master! You're free!

[RUDEUS screams]

[ZANOBA gasps] Ginger! Cast a healing spell at once!

[GINGER] Sir!

[RUDEUS] I'm starting to second-guess

that apprenticeship.

[ERIS] Oh, yeah! Rude--

I mean, the Kennel Master's amazing!

Tell me about your other adventures!

[ERIS giggles] You got it!

And that's it.

[LILIA] Master Rudeus.

[LILIA] This is for you.

Is this what I think it is?

Thank you very much, Lilia.

I know those meant a great deal to you,

so I've kept them safe all these years.

And I'm pleased to finally have the occasion to return them.

[RUDEUS] What is this?

[LILIA] It was intended as a gift for your tenth birthday.

Young Miss Sylphiette hand-carved

that pendant just for you.

[RUDEUS gasps] Sylphie.

Happy birthday. From all of us.

I'm sorry we missed it.

U-Uh-- Hey, um, Lilia.

You're touching me.

How crass.

It's good to see that

you haven't changed a bit, Master Rudeus.

[LILIA] I'm so glad that you're safe.

I'm glad that you and Aisha are safe, too.

Aisha hasn't said anything rude

or disrespectful to you at all, has she?

[RUDEUS] Of course not.

She's a brilliant girl.

You're raising her well.

On the contrary.

She hasn't yet lived up to your more incredible qualities.

She comparatively dull.

That's a little harsh, don't you think?

[LILIA gasps]

[AISHA] Mister Kennel Master!

Kennel Master! I have a favor I wanna ask you!

But only in private!

Sure thing, what do you need?

I'll help however I can.

[gasps] Then, please!

Allow me to accompany you on your journey!

Excuse me?

[AISHA] My mother talks all the time about

how I'm supposed to serve my half-brother

someday in the future. Only I...

Only you?

I don't wanna!

Save me from his perverted clutches,

as bravely as you did the other day!

Oh, please say yes!

My mother says I'm gonna do a lot of growing,

and one day I'll have a body

that'll make boys wanna make babies!

[RUDEUS] Lilia, what the hell have you been teaching her?

[AISHA gasps]

Children shouldn't talk about making babies.

[gasps]

I want you to have this, okay?

Like, to keep?

I can't take you with me, but this way,

I can leave part of myself with you.

Having a memento from someone

important to you can be reassuring.

And maybe your brother felt the same way about his "memento."

[RUDEUS] What do you think?

I get it! That makes more sense now!

[RUDEUS giggles]

Bye, everyone!

We'll meet again someday! That's a promise!

And I'm sorry I called you a pervert!

Hope you're not mad!

No, I'm not mad.

Huh?

Smart kid.

She saw right through you from the start.

Yeah. How did she...?

[RUDEUS] Addendum.

Pax and Zanoba were exiled after that whole ordeal,

but in the interest of maintaining appearances,

the kingdom claimed they were simply "studying abroad."

Master!