01x05 - The Date

[bunniefuu]

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(Loud rumbling, crows caw)

(Rumbling) - Awwww!

(Loud rumbling)

(Loud Rumbling)

(Blocks crash) - Hey!

(Stomach grumbles) - Sorry, it's my belly.

He's jonesing for some pizza.

(Whooshing) - Hey'a, hurry up!

I'm'a hungry down here.

- Usually Chef gets us pizza for lunch

at least twice a week,

but lately there's been a major pizza dry spell.

- My blood-pizza level is dangerously low.

If I don't get my cheese-blood ratio up soon I might explode!

(Loud expl*si*n)

Jude: We gotta get some pizza in this guy - stat!

(Hard thump) - Pizza?

It's : in the morning.

- There is no bad time for pizza!

Jude and Owen: ♪ Pizza in the morning, pizza at night! ♪

♪ Pizza in the evening - ungh! - take a bite! ♪

Go pizza! Go pizza!

Go, go, go pizza!

Yay piiiizza!

- You guys are obsessed.

- Pizza's the ultimate soul food.

That warm cheesy pizza goodness is like a pizza hug

from your pizza mom. (Owen drools)

Are you still dreaming about pizza?

Gwen: I'll wake him up. Ahhhh! Ow!

Why is the floor wet?

- I may have drooled that. - Ew! Ow. Gross.

Ahhhhhhhh!

- Chef only orders pizza when he's in a good mood

and that is not happening today.

(Forceful slice, haphazard chopping)

He's been in a cabbage mood for two weeks now.

- Cabbage. Ew!

Nature's toothbrush for your butt.

- Why is he doing this?!

Duncan: I'll tell you why. (Digging)

He has a broken heart.

His girlfriend dumped him weeks ago.

- Harsh. - For real?

How do you know that?

- I saw it happen.

(Rope wooshes, back-up beeps)

(Loud metallic clunk) Chef: Ungh!

(Truck rumbles away) - Candice!

Candice, please come baaaack!

(Sobbing)

- Awkward...

- Candice broke up with me.

Who am I supposed to watch Bachelor Island with now?!

(Sobbing)

(Chopping)

- Aw, poor guy.

Maybe once he has a new girlfriend

he'll be in a better mood.

- That could take years!

- Dude! If we make Chef think he's in love,

he'll be in a better mood and order us pizza!

- Yes! That! - The man with a plan!

- But isn't it kind of mean to mess with someone's personal life?

- (Poof) Toying with people's hearts isn't very nice.

- (Tires screeching) What's the harm?

So he thinks he has a secret admirer. Big whoop.

- Actually, that would make him feel pretty special.

Special is nice!

- And we'd reap the rewards

in delicious cheesy pizza!

(Drooling)

(Splat, steam hisses) Oops.

- I've made my decision.

Operation make-Chef-think- He-has-a-secret-admirer-

so-he'll-buy-us-lots-of-pizza is a go!

(Chef sobs, blender rumbles)

Leshawna: Great, cause he's making broccoli and tears juice

and I'm not drinking that again!

How can I help? (Whoosh)

- Okay. Operation pizza begins now.

(Silence)

What do we do?

- How about we start with a romantic poem?

"Roses are red, violets are blue,

sugar is sweet and so are you."

- (Impressed) How did you come up with that?

- "Love, your secret admirer."

Go slip it under the door, and don't get caught.

- Get caught? Please!

I'm the invisible man!

(Smoke b*mb explodes, rope whooshes)

(Clicking)

I have another one!

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(Knocking)

(Door opens)

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(Rope whirs) - Easy peasy.

I put the letter on the-- - Yeah-ah-ah-ah!

Kids! Kids! I have a secret admirer!

And she thinks I'm sweet!

All right, enough of this cabbage stew!

- Ugh! Seriously?

- Who wants pizza lunch?!

All: We're getting pi-zza! We're getting pi-zza!

- It worked! Quick, Leshawna, write more!

Maybe he'll get us some sodas too!

(Door thuds shut, heavy thud)

(Pen whooshes)

(Scribbling)

(Perfume spritzes, squeaky kiss)

♪♪♪

(Door opens)

Kids: (Cheering)

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(Door opens)

Kids: (Cheering)

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(Door opens, cart squeaks)

Kids: (Laughing and cheering)

- (Giddy high-pitched squeal, giggling)

- With these fifteen love letters,

we'll get pizza for the rest of the month.

Woo-hoo! Both: Yayyy!

Chef: Children, time to tidy up!

My secret admirer, Lafonda, is coming over at three

and I need to be ready for my date!

All: (Gasp) Chef: (Excited giggles)

- Did he just say he had a date?

How did that happen? Izzy: All right, it worked!

Woo-hoo! (Hard thud, wild laughter)

- Where did she come from?

- (Scribbling) Dah, dah-dah dah dah-dah-dah...

- Izzy, what did you do? - Nothing!

I just wrote a little note

suggesting they meet up for a snack.

I mean, it's about time.

They would be so cute together!

- You suggested he meet her?

- Yup! - The lady we made up?!

- Mmm-hmm! - The lady who doesn't exist?!

- Yes!

- Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

- What're we gonna do?

Chef thinks he's got a date with a beautiful grown-up lady...

and I don't think we have one.

- Guys, I don't wanna freak you out,

but I'm totally freaking out!

Ahhhhh! Oh no!

(Shaking, sucking thumb)

- Problem solved. 'Cause I solved it.

- Sweet! What's the plan?

Leshawna: We dress one of us up as a lady,

put that kid on top of another kid,

and convince Chef that it's his dream date, Lafonda.

Then we write a note saying that she's run away

and joined the Russian circus that only performs on space stations,

and make up a new secret admirer!

- I see no flaws with this plan!

- So who should we dress up?

Leshawna: Presenting... Lafonda Lisowsky!

- Aww. Why do I have to be the lady?

- Well, I don't wanna do it.

- Well, you are the prettiest kid here.

- Hmm. Wow, those are both good points.

- You look so pretty! - Really?

- Yes! - Totally.

- (Sing-songy) Oh Chef! Lafonda is here!

Chef: Whoa! (Loud clanging and banging)

(Panting)

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- (Lady voice) Hey, dude.

I'm Lafonda.

(Giggles sheepishly)

- I'm Chef. Enchante.

- I got five candy bars that say Chef doesn't buy it.

- I'll take that action.

- I've set up a special little picnic, just for us.

- (Lady voice) Sweeeeet.

(Candy bars thump, door clicks open)

- (Loud whisper) Walk forward, dude.

(Unsteady footsteps)

(Birds chirp)

- Cookie?

- (Lady voice) No thank you.

Owen: Mmm!

(Eating noisily)

(Loud burp)

(Air deflates)

- Ooops! My bad. - (Laughs)

You know, I like a lady who loves to eat.

- (Chuckles nervously)

- Wrap it up and get outta there!

- (Lady voice) Well, this has been really cool,

but I have to go home now and do stuff ladies do,

so... I'm gonna stand up now.

(Surprised plink)

(Unsteady footsteps)

- Wait!

I've never met a woman like you before, Lafonda.

May I... kiss you?

(Lips squeak)

- Well, this just got weird.

- You mean it wasn't weird for you until now?

- See? I knew they'd hit it off!

- Are you serious? You still don't get it!

- (Hushed) Hey! What's happening?

- (Hushed) He's gonna try and kiss me, dude!

- (Hushed) Darn it, we were too good!

- (Hushed) What do I do?! His lips are getting closer!

Ahhhhh!

- Ahhh! Owen?!

But she- but you- but that...

- Um, I'm going to run now.

- (Ferocious growl)

(Volcanic eruption)

Time-outs for everyone!

Leshawna: Uh-oh...

- (Grumbling) Secret admirer... (Chopping and growling)

- Leshawna and vegetables don't mix.

- Well, it was good while it lasted.

- Where are Jude and Owen?

- In the naughty corner.

They're going to be there for a looong time.

- (Yawning)

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(Clock ticks, sucks thumb)

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(Owen gasps)

I'm hungry.

How long have we been here?

Jude: Seven minutes.

Do you think we'll ever taste the warm gooey hug

of pizza again?

- Maybe Chef will forgive us!

(Resonating thump)

- Drink. Owen: Maybe not.

♪ Da, da, da!