04x09 - Dinner For Two Many

[bunniefuu]

WOMAN: Are you ready?

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ I know you see me
standing here ♪

♪ Do I look good,
my dear? ♪

♪ Do I look good today? ♪

♪ Today, today ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ I'm just another
kind of girl ♪

♪ And you want
to see my world ♪

♪ So come and run away ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ If you wanna play ♪

♪ Come and play today ♪

♪ Let's just get away, yeah ♪

♪ I will make you see ♪

♪ All of the things ♪

♪ That you can be ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ Come follow me ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[upbeat music]

[vocalizing]

[bicycle bell rings]

♪ ♪

- Thanks.

♪ ♪

- Hey, Zoey.

- Oh, hey, Stacey.

- I'm writing a science essay
all about turkeys.

- Turkeys?
- Yes.

Now, we all know they don't fly.

- They don't?

- Now, the question is:

are turkey simply too fat

and bulbous to fly,

or are they just lazy?

- Uh...

Whoops, here's my boyfriend.

- Am I late?

- Nope, perfect timing.

- Ready to pic 'n' nic?

- Oh, a picnic. Can I come?

- Ahh...

I think we only have enough food

for the four of us.

- Yeah, we'd invite you but--

the four of us?

- Ah, yeah.

- But I thought--
- Hey!

- Here we come!

- They asked
if they could come along.

- Could you go stand
over there for a second?

- Sure.

- This picnic was supposed
to be a date,

just the two of us.

- I know,
but they asked to come.

What was I gonna say?

- "No" would have been
a good choice.

- Hey, Zo.
- We're ready.

- Yay, you're coming with us.

- Yep, we are.

- I might be coming too.

Wait.

Guys, you forgot me!

♪ ♪

[light pop music]

♪ ♪

- How romantic is this?

- Well...

- What's wrong?

- We're dancing
in a janitor's closet.

- I brought you a flower.

- Oh, yeah,

and it's dying

from the bleach fumes in here.

- Oh, yeah.

- I just hate
that we have to

keep sneaking around like this.

- You want everybody
to find out we're dating?

You know how much abuse
we'd both get?

- Yes, I realize
why we're slow dancing

in a janitor's closet
with noxious fumes

and a dead flower.

I'm just saying

it'd be nice
if we could go out

on a real date--

once.

- Hey, I got an idea.

- Oh dear.
- It's a good one.

- Tell me gently.

- You know that restaurant
where Coco worked?

The really expensive one?

- Yeah, Vaccaro.

- It's only half a mile up PCH.

- You'd take me there
for dinner?

- Sure.

It's quiet, romantic,

and nobody else at PCA
can afford to eat there.

- That sounds fantastic.

- Cool.

- Maybe we should get
out of here.

[jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- Good evening,

and welcome to Vaccaro.

I assume you have a reservation?
- Yes.

James Garrett for two.

- Garrett.

Is that with a P?

- No, Garrett.

- Without a P.

- G-a-r-r-e-t-t.

- Interesting.

- Oh, here it is.
Under G.

Wait here--

I'll go make sure
your table is ready.

- Appreciate it.
- Thank you.

Are you sure
we should eat here?

- You don't like it?

- No, it's amazing.

But it looks so expensive.

How can you afford this?

- I worked
at my uncle's construction site

for the past couple of summers.

I got enough saved.
- Well, that's really sweet,

but seriously,
you don't have to--

- I want to.

Now just smile, and...

don't order the lobster.

- Promise.

- How you liking the lobster?
- It's fantastic,

but did you need to order
five of them?

Aren't they like $100 apiece?

- So, who cares?

- [laughing]

You're so funny.

Must be fun having
a rich father.

- Yeah, well.

- What's wrong?

Did you drop a claw?

- Don't look down here.

- What's going on?

- Look to your right.

- Zoey and James are here.

LOGAN: I know.

Why do you think
I'm under the table?

- They're gonna see us,
and know we're dating.

- No.
I'll stay under here.

Just pretend
that you're eating alone.

- Five lobsters?

- Quinn?

- [laughs]
Hello!

- Hey.

- Uh, what are you doing here?

- I was craving some lobsters--

five--and you know,

you can't get lobsters at PCA.

- Will this table
be satisfactory?

- Well...

- It's the only one available.

Madame?

♪ ♪

HOST: Your waiter will be
with you in a moment.

- So...

- So...
[chuckles]

- You were hungry,

so you came here...

by yourself.

- Uh-huh.

- And ordered five lobsters.

- Right.

That is such a pretty dress.

- Thanks.

- I'm gonna hit the restroom.

- Okay.

- We'll watch your pile
of lobsters.

That's not a happy face.

- Look, I love Quinn,
but tonight was supposed to be

a special night
for just the two of us.

- Well, so now
it's eight of us.

You, me, Quinn,

and that family of lobsters.

- It's not funny.

- Should we leave?

- I don't know.
I mean, I guess it's sort of

just the two of us...

plus Quinn.

- I think we could still
have fun.

- I know how we could start.

Tail or claw?

- Definitely tail.

[phone ringing]

- Hey.

- You gotta get me out
from under this table.

- But if Zoey and James
see you,

they're gonna know we're dating.
LOGAN: Listen,

just create a commotion,
then I'll sneak out,

and they'll never know
I was here.

- Okay.

Uh...

Give me two minutes.

- The men's room
doesn't have lollipops.

- And you still
have the scar?

- Yeah, it's cool.
It looks like a cross

between a lightning bolt
and a banana.

- A banana bolt.

[both chuckle]

- Quinn's coming.

- Rude.

- I'm back.

- That you are.

- So, what are you guys
gonna order?

- Well, I was thinking about

starting off
with the tuna tartare.

JAMES: Ooh, that sounds good.

Hey, you wanna split the tartare
and the fondue?

ZOEY: Yes.

JAMES: Man, everything here
looks so good.

ZOEY: Except for the quail.

[laser whooshes]
- Ah!

- Now!

- Ow!

[ringtone plays]

- Wait.

Isn't that Logan's ringtone?

- No, it's uh--

- Why'd you have
to call me now?

- I just wanted to invite you

to come sh**t some pool
with me and Lola.

[chuckles]
She's awful.

- I heard that.

- [laughs]

But her hearing is very good.

LOGAN: Look--

- Is that Logan
on the floor there?

- Logan?

- Zoey, James, Quinn.

What are you guys doing here?

- We were just
gonna ask you that.

- Oh, um...

I'm just here

picking up
a chocolate souffle for Michael.

- A chocolate souffle?

Logan's getting me a souffle!

- I want a souffle.

- Why are you getting
Michael a souffle?

- You know...

for his birthday.

- Wasn't his birthday, like,

a month ago?

- Exactly.

And I didn't get him anything,

so souffle.

- Where are you?
- Vaccaro.

- Where is he?
- Vaccaro!

- Oh, my God!

I hear their souffles
are amazing.

- Yeah,
but you gotta eat them hot.

Hey, man?
- Yeah?

- Don't bring me the souffle.

I'll be there in 20 minutes.

- What?
- Come on.

You don't--
[dial tone]

He hung up.

- Well, since you're here

getting a souffle for Michael,

why don't you...

sit down with us?

- Oh.

Well,

I don't like you.

- Right, yeah--

- But, sure.

So...

here we are.
[chuckles]

- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.

- Here we are.

- The four of us.

- Uh...can I help you?

- Oh, yeah.
We're here to meet a guy

named Logan, our age,

sorta good-looking.

- Sorta.

- Mr. Preese.
- Reese.

- No P.
- You're certain?

- Completely.

- He's in the main dining area.

- Bye!
- Thanks.

- [sputtering]

Jackets are required

for all gentlemen
in the dining area.

- Well, I don't have a jacket.

- Perhaps we have one
you can borrow.

- So that wasn't
the first time you ever saw me?

JAMES: No.

Actually, when I was trying
to find

the housing office,
I saw you by the fountain.

- And your first thought was?

- You know,
that you were insanely adorable.

[both chuckle]

- Oh, come on!

Dude,
she's already dating you.

You don't have to lie
to her anymore.

- I wasn't lying.

- Could you just eat
your lobster?

- Did you guys know that
lobsters in captivity

sometimes
resort to cannibalism?

- Cannibalism?

- Yeah, they eat their friends.

QUINN: We know because
marine biologists

have found lobster skin

in the stomachs
of other lobsters.

- I wish a lobster
would eat me.

- Hi, guys!
- Hey, what's up?

- Ah, why?

- Michael and Lola are here?

- James.

- Hi, guys!

- Hey, man!

I didn't know everybody
was here with you.

- Yeah, isn't it great?

- I-I came alone.

- I didn't even know Quinn
was gonna be here.

- He sure didn't.

- What's with the jacket?

- Ah, the stupid maitre d'
made me wear it.

Says they have a "dress code."

- And why are you here?

I told you I'd bring you
the souffle.

- Souffles aren't yummy
unless you eat them

right out of the oven.

- But before we started
talking souffles,

looks like there's plenty
of lobster to go around!

- Lobster!

MICHAEL: Yeah.
Tasty.

- Oh, my God!

This bread looks so good.

And it's warm!

- Hey, pass me
the melted butter.

- We should push the tables
together

so we can all sit closer.

- I-I don't think that--

- Here, Zoey,

slide your chair this way.

- No, I'm fine right--
Aah!

[diners exclaim]

- Zo--

- Are you all right?
- No!

- Oh, here.

A hunk of lobster
will make you feel better.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

LOLA: My God,
this looks so good!

MICHAEL: Mm-hmm.

- This smells so good.

- You're gonna pay
for my food, right?

It was my birthday a month ago.

- I had a birthday last year.
- Yeah, yeah.

I'll pay for it.
- Really?

- Not yours.

- You can't blame a guy
for trying.

- Would you pass me
a crab cake?

- Oh, sure.

- Ooh, I want a crab cake.

- Me, too!
- I'll take one.

- James.

- Yeah?

Right.
Excuse us.

- Mmm!

Is it wrong to be in love
with a crab cake?

- If it's wrong,

I don't wanna be right.

- Did you guys know that crabs
are omnivores

that eat algae
and fungus and worms?

- Algae and fungus and worms?

- Oh, my!

- Come on, don't be mad.

- I'm not mad, I'm frustrated.

And I feel bad for you.

- Why do you feel bad for me--

- You're probably using half

of your savings
to pay for tonight.

- Three-fourths of my savings.

- [sighs]
I'm sad.

- Zo--

- This was supposed to be
a special date

for just the two of us.

- So, it's turned into
a special date

for the two of us
with four of our good friends.

That so bad?

- No.

But I want a crab cake.

- I think that can be arranged.

- And I want both kinds
of sauce.

- I understand.

LOLA: Ooh, nice fork up!

- Hey.

- We're back.
- Everything okay?

- Yeah, everything's great.

- Pass the asparagus.

- Asparagi for Ms. Brooks.

- Did you guys know that
asparagus makes your--

- We know.
- Shh.

- Don't.
- Please.

- Hey, isn't that guy
over there Carl?

- I think that is Carl.

- Who's Carl?
- Coco's boyfriend.

- Hungry, hungry Coco?

- Yup.

- I thought Coco
was still dating him.

- She is.
- Then why is he on a date

with another woman?

- Maybe they're not on a date.

- They're holding hands
across the table.

- Quinn, come with me.

- What are you gonna do?

- We're gonna go tell Carl
that he's busted.

- And then we're gonna
tell Coco we saw him

out with another woman.
- Yeah, look,

maybe you shouldn't interfere--
- Eat your meatball.

Hey, yo, Carl.

- Oh, hey.

You girls go to PCA, right?

- Yeah, we do.

- You know our dorm advisor,
Coco.

- Your girlfriend?

- Right, right.

- So, who's she?

- Listen, can we talk about
this another time?

- No!

- But we're gonna talk to Coco,

and you better believe--
- Will you guys

get out of here?
- Don't tell us what to do!

- It's a free restaurant,
lady.

Well, you have to pay
for the food,

but you know what I mean!

- Coco?

- Shh!

Follow me to the can!

[all groaning, grunting]

Are you trying to ruin my life?

- Why are you wearing
a disguise?

- 'Cause remember
when I worked here

as a restroom attendant?

- Uh-huh.
- Yeah...

- Well, when I quit,

I got into a fight
with the maitre d'.

He told me
I had to finish out the night,

so I told him to go sit
on a squash.

Then we got into a fight.

I hit him with a beef rib,
he fell down,

and I ran out the door.

- So...the disguise?

- [sighs]

I was banned from
ever coming back here.

But Carl and I wanted to have
a special dinner date

to celebrate the end
of his house arrest.

So, I just figured why not--

- Well...
- [gasps]

I guess someone
doesn't understand

what "banned" means.

- Maurice, listen.

- Oh, get out of my sight.

- Wait, why are you
in the women's restroom?

- He likes the lollipops.

- I want you
and your little chicky friends

out of here.

- You can't throw us out.

- Yeah, look, Maurice--

- Yes, I can throw you out.

Turn around, there's the exit.

Move! Move, ladies.
[overlapping arguing]

Ladies, must I call
security on you?

[overlapping shouting]

MAURICE: Out of my bathroom.
Out of my restaurant.

[overlapping shouting]

- What's going on?
- I don't know.

- Quit pushing us!
- We are citizens!

- Carl, help!

- Hey, hey!

What's the deal, buddy?

- The deal is get out

unless you want me
to call the police.

- Make him let go of me.

- Sorry, baby, I'm on parole.

- Sir, what's the problem here?

- Mind your own business.

- Don't talk to him like that.

- And let her go.

- Oh, is she a friend
of yours?

- That's right.

- Then all of you,

out of here!

Come on, Coco, get out,
out, out!

- Do you know who my father is?

- You're never coming
in here again.

[overlapping shouting]

Banned, Coco. Banned!

[overlapping shouting]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Sweet lady
close your eyes ♪

♪ Rest on the edge of sleep ♪

♪ And know that I want
to bring to you-- ♪

- Hiya.

- Hey, Zo.

- What's up?

- Well--

- James told us that last night
was supposed to be

a special night
for just you and him.

- Oh.

Well, yeah, kinda.

- We feel like such jerks.

- You guys didn't know.

- Well, we know now.

- So, can we do anything
to make you feel better?

- It's okay, really.
- Oh, come on.

At least let us buy you
a javaccino or something.

- Seriously, you guys don't
have--

- Come on.

- You guys don't have to buy me
a javaccino.

I promise I'm--

♪ ♪

Oh...

What'd you guys do?

- That.

- Table for two, Ms. Brooks.

- Right this way.

- We felt bad about
ruining your date.

- And we thought maybe
this would make up for it.

- And what's more romantic

than a private dinner for two
on the beach?

- Or volleyball court.

- Sand is sand.

- Okay.
You two just sit down.

- And we'll get out of here.

- This is really
great of you guys.

- And you don't have to leave.
Why don't you all just--

- Bye.
- We're out of here.

- You've got some nice friends,
Zoey Brooks.

- And a hot boyfriend.

- Uh-oh.
Is he bigger than me?

- Hey.

- What?

- You're on
the volleyball court.

- Yeah, we know.

- We're having dinner.

- Well, we gotta practice.

- Got a game tomorrow?

- So practice in an hour,
okay?

- Now.

- No!
JAMES: Look,

our friends went
to a lot of trouble

to set this up for us,

and we're not moving
until we eat our dinner.

- Mmm, this steak is awesome.

- I know.
Michael can cook.

You have the most amazing eyes.

- Aww.

[thump]

♪ ♪

[overlapping chatter]

♪ ♪

- This was such a good idea.

- This is delicious.
- It is.

♪ ♪

WOMAN: Ready?

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I'm just another
kind of girl ♪

♪ And you want
to see my world ♪

♪ If you wanna play ♪

♪ Come and play today ♪

♪ Let's just get away, yeah ♪

♪ I will make you see ♪

♪ All of the things ♪

♪ That you can be ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ Come follow me ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[bell dings]
MAN: Mmm!

- Definitely tail.