02x09 - Operation: R.E.P.O.R.T./Operation: B.R.I.E.F.

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Codename: Kids Next Door". Aired: December 6, 2002 – January 21, 2008.*
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Show revolves around a group of five 10-year-old kids (later retconned to be varying ages), using codenames Numbuhs 1 through 5, who are the main home operatives of what is known as Sector V, which is part of a worldwide espionage-style organization called the Kids Next Door.
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02x09 - Operation: R.E.P.O.R.T./Operation: B.R.I.E.F.

Post by bunniefuu »

- Numbuh 1: when the mission specs - were delivered

- From global kids next door - command,

I immediately knew that

There was only one operative

Who could handle

The job.

Me.

It seemed simple enough...

Retrieve the goods.

But as every decent

Kids next door operative knows,

Nothing is ever simple.

[ Beeps ]

Ugh!

[ Panting ]

[ Grunting ]

Waah!

[ Grunts ]

Huh?

[ Beeps ]

[ Gasps ]

Aah!

Ugh!

Evil 5: thanks for pick

This up for us, nigel.

Wait!

No, you can't!

Somebody help!

Numbuh 2: meanwhile,

I was mild-mannerly reading

Comics in the park

When suddenly...

Holy underwear!

This is a job for...

Numbuh 2 guy!

Help me,

Numbuh 2 guy.

They've got the goods.

You're our only hope.

Don't worry.

I won't allow the bads

To have the goods.

Great. Now go.

The good guy always gets

The goods.

Yes, that's very clever,

But they're getting...

You know, the thing about

A good guy...

Just go!

I'll tell him later,

But first I'll find those

Ne'er-do-wellers.

This looks like a job

For my penetra-vision!

Nothing can escape

My gaze.

All is seen

By my amazing vision.

[ Gasps ]

What's this?

Aha!

The devious villains

From the consortium of crime.

Numbuh 2 guy away!

Not so fast,

You evil five.

Numbuh 2 guy.

What an unpleasant

Surprise.

Why don't you go leap over

A tall cliff or something.

Later.

But first,

I've got to stop you,

So give me the goods.

We'll give you the goods

All right.

[ Laughing ]

What? No!

It's my one weakness!

Here,

Take a closer look.

[ Laughing ]

No. Stop.

Strength gaining.

Can't speak normal.

Must stop

Devious villains

From the consortium of...

Crime!

I... Did it.

Ohh...

- Okay, okay, okay! - My turn!

So here's

What happened next.

It was a pretty,

Pretty day.

That's me!

And these

Are the flowers.

Hi, flowers!

- Together: - hi, kuki.

[ Giggles ]

What do you want to do today,

Flower friends?

Let's all...

Ahh!

Hi, boxie.

Hi, kuki.

Flowers: hi, boxie.

Want to play?

Sure!

[ Both laughing ]

♪ We're the best, best friends

In the whole wide world ♪

♪ Just skipping along

Eating fudgie-fudge swirl ♪

♪ We're dancing and singing,

Just boxie and me ♪

♪ Hugging and kissing

And climbing a tree ♪

♪ We're the best, best friends

In the universe ♪

♪ Having lots of fun solving

The mummy's curse ♪

♪ Just boxie and me,

And we're digging for clams ♪

♪ Curling our hair

And baking up hams ♪

♪ We're the best, best friends

In all of the park ♪

♪ Just skipping along

And singing ♪

Roooooar!

Hi, new spooky friend.

Want to play?

Uh... Sure.

We want to play

With that box you've got.

You mean boxie,

My best friend?

The box I promised

To be friends with

Forever and ever?

[ Mumbling ]

That's right.

Okay!

[ Mumbles ]

Right.

Then I guess

We'll be going now.

Okay. Bye!

See you later!

[ Giggles ]

It was the funnest day

Ever!

Numbuh 4: after

Numbuh 3's failure

To retain the precious

Rectanguloid power charm,

It was up to me

To retrieve it.

[ Laughing ]

Huh?!

And it over, delightful...

Or face

The wrath of...

Numbuh 4-go!

Your powers

Don't scare us!

Just try and take

The rectanguloid power charm.

Hmm.

I was hoping

You'd say that.

Hyaaaah!

Gum wad att*ck!

Booyah!

[ Laughing ]

Huh?

Those delightful...

Aren't so tough.

I challenged them,

And I defeated them easily.

Huh?!

It can't be!

Ha ha

Ha ha ha!

Not bad

For a beginner,

But you are no match for us

At our full power evolution.

Aaaahh-ha!

[ Grunting ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Laughing ]

Impressive.

But I also have a surprise

For you!

Hyah!

Aaaahh!

Huh?

Oh, crud.

Ugh!

Hyah!

Is that the best you've got,

Monster?

You wish.

Huh? Ugh!

Aaaahh!

Their power levels

Are off the charts.

I'm really gonna have to get

Some bigger charts.

The rectanguloid

Power charm!

Noooo!

I... I have failed.

But mark my words...

I will not fail again!

Numbuh 5: so now,

It was up to numbuh 5

To retrieve the goods.

There you are!

Evil 5:

There it is.

Uh-oh.

Get it!

Hmm?

Pbht!

Aah!

[ Growling ]

Come back here!

[ Shouting indistinctly ]

[ Shouting indistinctly ]

Come back here!

[ Shouting indistinctly ]

Aah! Aah!

What the...?!

No, it isn't!

Check it yourself.

Ugh!

Anchovies!

Thank you.

[ Sighs ] typical.

All you had to do

Was pick up a pizza,

- And you can't - even do that right!

Aw. Aw.

Aw. Aw.

One pizza for

The kids next door.

Hello?

Anyone?

Aw, come on!

Together:

You seem a little small

For a job this big.

- White: - don't worry, huh?

Just tell me who your

Number-one problem is.

Well, that's easy...

Numbuh 1!

[ Laughing ]

Ohh! Nine missions

In two days.

[ Groans ]

I never want to face

An adult menace again.

Whoo-hoo!

That mission was

Totally phenomenal!

- What do you say, - guys,

- One more mission - just for the heck of it?

- Huh? Huh? - What do you say?

- What do you say, - guys? Huh?

Numbuh 5 says you better

Relax before you go nuts.

- What are you talking - about?

Nigel uno

Is operating at 110...

As you were saying?

For your information,

I tripped over this.

See? See?

Hmm?

Huh?

- Ooh, you got - a present!

- Who's it from? - Who's it from?

Probably

From global command

For my amazing

Leadership skills.

[ Gulps ]

It's been a long day,

- And we should all - get some sleep, right?

Right.

- Hey! - Look, everyone!

Numbuh 1's

Got new underpants!

Man, what size

Are you?

[ Growls ]

- What are you - looking at?

Nothing,

Mr. Fatty pants.

- [ Growls ] - numbuh 4...

- Give me - those shorts now.

♪ I see london,

I see france ♪

♪ I see nigel's

Giant underpants ♪

Can't catch us!

Ha-ha!

[ Growls ]

[ Laughs ]

Throw it here!

[ Laughs ]

I'm open!

I'm open!

Hey, numbuh 1.

Ow!

You guys are enough

To drive anyone crazy.

Obviously there must be

Some sort of mix-up at command.

- This is the worst gift - I've gotten

Since my grandmother gave me

A hair dryer.

Do you mind?

[ Giggles ]

Okay, everyone.

Bedtime.

That's an order.

[ Snoring ]

White: nigel uno,

You're about to have

An accident.

[ Siren wails ]

This is numbuh 65.3

With an urgent code-red

Maximum security alert message.

Yeah, yeah.

Lay it on us.

Negatory, numbuh 5.

According to section 54,

Paragraph 23

Of the kids next door

Operations manual,

- No kids next door - communications officer

Is authorized to disseminate

Code-red maximum security data

Unless the lead operative

Is present.

In english, dorkatron.

No numbuh 1,

No message.

Who...

Who are you?

They call me...

Mr. White!

Ugh!

Aah!

Get... Off... Of... Me!

Ah! Ha-ha!

Ugh!

You got spunk, kid.

- But that ain't enough - to stop

A professional pair

Of undies like me.

Aaaahh!

Ugh!

Hey, numbuh 1, we need you

In the mission prep...

[ Grunting

[ And groaning ]

Aah! Sounds like

Number two.

But I'm right here.

Numbuh 1:

[ Groaning ]

I'm gonna flush you back

Where you came from.

Ahh!

Ugh!

Aaaahh!

Numbuh 1: ahh!

[ Objects smash ]

Help me!

You're next in command.

You go in and help him.

Are you

Out of your mind?

[ Grunts ]

You're gonna be fine,

Numbuh 1.

I know you got it

In you.

- Maybe he needs - a magazine.

Ahh! Ahh!

Ahh! Ahh!

This underwear

Is k*lling me!

- Oh, I know - what you mean.

- Mine bunches up - all the time,

Even the ones with

The little rockets on them.

You don't understand.

He's the enemy.

Ugh!

I hate to say it,

But our leader

Has finally lost it.

But we can't let



So here's what

We're gonna do...

Numbuh 65.3: it took you 4.369

Minutes to get here, numbuh 1,

- But better late - than never.

Let's take a look at this

Code-red maximum security alert.

[ Sighs ]

According to this...

What?

I'm packing heat now,

Shorty.

It's stuck!

Let go of my head!

I'll shrink you down

To cotton balls.

[ Grunts ]

Ugh!

See you, chump.

[ Laughs ]

Oh, no you don't!

[ Shouting indistinctly]

Whoa!

Huh?

[ Gasps ]

Holy shorts.

Kids can be so cruel

To their underpants.

[ Sobbing ]

[ Metal clanking ]

Huh?

Ahh!

Got you.

Come out

With your elastic up.

All right, kid,

You got me.

I don't know what you are,

Or why you're after me,

But I'm gonna shut your y-flap

Once and for all.

[ Gasps ]

[ Laughs nervously ]

Who does your bleach?

Ahh!

You want to know why

I became a professional?

'Cause of all the kids

That treat their undies

Like crud!

Listen, maybe you better

Read the alert to me.

Numbuh 1's

Kind of nutty lately

'Cause of all

The back-to-back missions.

I'm gonna need some proof before

I start bending the rules.

Aaaahh!

This underwear's got me,

And I don't like it!

Ahh!

Aaaahh!

Okay...

I'll just read

This here code-red alert then.

[ Clears throat ]

- Looks like - the delightful children

Have taken out a contract

On numbuh 1.

I'm downloading

The assassin's specs now.

Ahh!

Ha!

Now I've got...

Ow!

Ugh! Wahh!

That's the assassin?

It looks like a pair

Of underpants.

- Together: - underpants?!

Numbuh 1,

We're coming!

Ahh!

[ Gasps ]

Heh-heh-heh.

Now to finish

The job.

Huh?

Will you look at the way

That kid treats his underwear?

All folded and neat.

I can't hurt a kid

Who's good to his shorts.

Hold on, kid,

I'm coming to get you!

Huh?

Wait.

You don't understand.

You're a dirty pair

Of living underwear

After my best friend.

What's not to

Understand?

- You gotta listen - to me.

Your friend is hanging

For his life,

And I'm the underpants

That can save him.

Forget it,

Dryer lint!

No!

Let the undies go.

His mission

Is a peaceful one.

Aaaahh!

I'm coming, kid!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Quick,

Grab my elastic.

[ Groaning ]

Whoa,

That was clooose!

[ Cheering ]

Ugh!

That underwear

Saved my life.

[ Groaning ]

Don't worry,

Mr. Undie-bunny,

You'll be feeling better

In no time.

- Hopefully - you stretched enough

To fit numbuh 1's

Huge tushy.

[ Chuckles ]

Move it, big butt!

[ Hums ]

[ Growls ]

[ Giggles ]

Humph!

I never met a bunch of kids

Like you.

You're all right.

Hey,

If you don't mind,

Can you keep quiet about me

Folding my you-know-whats?

Hey, I'm a pair

Of underwear.

Privacy is what I do.

- So, what are you - gonna do now?

I'm done working in

The underworld.

I'll probably retire

To my condo in florida.

But first, I'm gonna get

Some friends of mine

To do you guys

A favor.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Together:

Oh, goody, a present!

What?

Tube socks?



♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

[ Electric guitar solo ]

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

[ Electric guitar solo ]

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door
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