06x01 - Operation: E.N.G.L.A.N.D./Operation: A.W.A.R.D.S.

[bunniefuu]

Math classes 70% more boring for

Kids.

- [ All chattering ] - okay.

Next up... I say next up is

Uh...

[ Groans ]

Senator safely.

Well, it's about time!

Ah!

[ Clears throat ]

You've been deliberately

Ignoring the very important, new

Child safety laws I've been

Trying to pass,

Mr. Senate leader, sir.

That's because your laws are

Boring, safely!

It's always, "oh, let's make

Tacos safer for kids!"

And "oh, no, kids might swallow

Those fishing rods!"

Precisely!

Virtually everything kids touch

Today is a virtually virtual

Death trap!

So, I've prepared a report on

What to do about it, which I

Will now read all 60,000 pages

Of to you.

Oh! Owee, owee, owee, owee!

Paper cut!

[ All groaning ]

Aw, cut it out, safely.

We're trying to make some fun

Laws that make life miserable

- For kids, not laws that protect - them.

- ]] But... But... But what about - my report?

Look.

How's about we give you, uh,

"Eleventy" billion dollars to

"Research" the problem, all

Right?

So, get to researching!

[ Laughter ]

All right.

Now who wants to draft a bill

Outlawing stupid cartoons that

Make fun of adults?

Oh, me!

Me!

Me!

Oh, bunch of jerks!

What am I gonna do with

"Eleventy" billion dollars?

"Eleventy" billion dollars?

"Eleventy bill... Ow!

[ Panting ]

Oh, man, I'm late, I'm late,

I'm... [ Gasps ]

Crud!

Ow, ow!

Ow, ow, ow!

Ow, ow, ow!

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!



And anthony davis has cracked



One, chip.

You betcha, nick.

His butt's gonna be really sore

After busting up that much

Asphalt.

Indeed.

He is a true competitor who

Deserves to be here at this

Year's "butt busting" playground

Tournament finals.

And speaking of competitors,

Here comes ziggy jane.

Wow, nick!

Talk about gluteus maximus.

There you are, numbuh 4.

Where have you been?

You're up next.

Hold on!

I want to see this guy.

[ Whistle blows ]

Let's hurt some heinie!

Oh, and it's a great launch

For ziggy jane.

He's down the slide and over to

The merry-go-round.

Back to the slide and straight

Up into a triple butt-side

Laid-back burial.

And...

[ Crying ]

Ow, ow!

Ow, ow, ow! Ow, ow!

Eight inches!

Oh.

Oh, tough break.

Ziggy's got great style, nick,

But style just doesn't cr*ck the

Concrete like it used to.

And speaking of concrete,

Chip, next up is 5-time

Butt-busting champion,

Wallabee beetles.

It's all you, champ.

Just follow the path you've been

Practicing.

Right.

Swing set to seesaw, up the

Slide, over the rocking hippo,

And straight up!

It's in the bag.

[ Talking gibberish ]

Joey, I thought I told you to

Stay home with mom!

[ Talking gibberish ]

Okay, fine.

You can watch, but just keep out

Of the way.

[ Laughs ]

And wallabee beetles

Approaches the swing in an

Attempt to continue his dynasty

Of derriere destructiveness.

Let's break some booty!

Wallabee gets ready for his

Launch, and... Hold it!

There seems to be an

Interruption on the field.

Look at the cute, little

Baby!

He's a cute baby.

You're a cute baby!

Aw, don't you just love when

Babies run around "nakies,"

Nick?

Joey!

What do you think you're do...

Whoa-oa-oa!

Aaahhhh!

Whoa!

Whaaa!

Whaa! Aaahh!

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

[ Groaning ]

.02 "magnomameters."

Oh, that has to not hurt.

[ Alarm blaring ]

I heard the safety signal.

What's going on?

[ Gasps ]

Safety scans show playground

Activity resulting in serious

Damage to child buttocks.

Recommend immediate action.

You're darn skippy we're

Taking action!

After years of preparation and

The oodles of government money I

Spent, my safety program is

Finally complete!

And what better place to test it

Than an asphalt- and medal-laden

Playground?!

Affirmative.

Safety shall be established.

Parent-disapproved sports, I

Have never witnessed an upset

Like this.

Wallabee beetles, the seemingly

Undefeatable butt-busting

Champion, taken down by a sissy

Little girl.

Hi!

Oh!

The only reason she won is

Because of my stupid brother,

Dancing around like a doofus!

I mean, look at him!

All: go, baby!

Go, baby!

Go, baby!

See what I mean?!

Go!

Just go home already!

Come on, nick, let's ditch

This loser and go watch the baby

Dance.

[ Screams ]

Don't worry about it, champ.

There's always next year.

[ Crowd yells ]

Ohh!

Tournament or no tournament,

I'll show these people how to

cr*ck some pavement.

Ah-ah-ahh!

Oh, good one, numbuh 4, but I

Can't believe you didn't cr*ck

Anything with that.

Ah, that wasn't me.

Yee-hah!

Dance on!

[ Footsteps approach ]

Come on, there, baby.

Get back to dancing all

Funny-like.

What the...

Bubble wrap?!

Toy g*n represents safety

Hazard to children.

w*apon neutralized.

Preparing to neutralize

Additional threats.

[ Children scream ]

Oh, you want to mess with the

Six-gum g*ng, do you?

Alert.

This unit under att*ck by

Projectiles that may injure

Child's eyes.

[ All screaming ]

They represent 47% chance of

Skinned knees.

Recommend immediate safety

Procedures.

Immobilizing targets to prevent

Abrasions.

You want some of this, too?

[ Crying ]

Sensor shows naked baby in

Danger of sunburn.

- Administering immediate - sunblock.

Joey, look out!

I thought I told you to go home!

- ]] Kids next door - d.r.a.g.s.t.u.h....

Dynamic racer always goes

Speedily tearing up highway.

Come on!

We got to get back to the

Tree house for backup.

Right!

Let's go!

Aren't you forgetting

Something?

Ehh...

Joey?

He can get home by himself!

Alert.

Children aren't wearing proper

Protective gear inside wheeled

Vehicle.

Stop!

Oh, come on, you big baby.

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

Vehicles traveling at speeds

Over 1.2 miles per hour

Represent a safety risk.

Hold still.

Try keeping this diaper on this

Time, okay?

Step on it, numbuh 2!

That thing's gaining on us!

[ Tires screech ]

Look out!

Alert.

Infant is not restrained in

Child-safety seat.

Hold on!

Come on, guys!

All: ahh!

This unit recommends wearing

A safety belt.

Good one, numbuh 2!

Oh!

Give it a rest with the cruddy

Dancing already.

Why-aye!

Aaahhhh!

[ Both moaning ]

Well, at least we made it back

To the tree house.

But numbuh 5 and the others must

Be trapped inside.

We got to get them out.

Hey, where's joey?

Joey, where are you?

Joey!

Are you all right, joey?!

Please tell me you're all right!

[ Talking gibberish ]

Good.

Because I'm gonna "smashamatize"

You, you little stinker!

Take it easy, numbuh 4.

He's just a baby.

Ah, he's a baby, all right...

A big, dumb baby who's been

Nothing but a big pain in the

Neck all day!

Why can't you just go home like

I told you to?

You heard me!

Go home!

Go on!

Scram!!

[ Talking gibberish, crying ]

Nice brotherly love there,

Mr. Sensitive.

We don't have time for stupid

Babies getting in our way.

We've got to get the rest of the

Kids next door out and stop

Those other two robots from

Making everything so safe it's

No fun anymore.

Yeah?

Well, I think we've got bigger

Problems than those two robots!

You're right.

- There's at least four of them - out there.

This structure, I repeat,

Unsafe for children.

Prepare for immediate

Dismantling.

[ Panting ]

Don't worry, numbuh 4.

I've got just the hardware to

Take care of this guy.

Catch.

Kids next door

H.a.i.r.c.u.t.t.e.r....

Hacking armament is really

Completely unsafe, though

Totally exterminates robots.

Both: aaahhhh!

- ]] [ All gasp ] - ]] alert!

Children have not waited half an

Hour after eating to go

Swimming.

Advise using flotation devices.

Warning... Rainbow monkey fur

May cause uncomfortable rash

And/or itchiness.

[ Children screaming ]

So, you see, my fellow

Senators, finally we are

Building a world that is truly

Safe for kids.

Ah, porcupine posteriors.

Who cares about safety?

I just like watching those

Miserable kids run around like

Monkeys with their butts on

Fire.

Negative.

Child safety is priority.

Safety, "shmafety."

Just keep the brats out of our

Hair, would you?

Hey!

What's the big idea?

M-master safety bot, what are

You doing?!

Mobile safety scans have

Shown that even with the

Eradication of all hazardous

Materials, there still remains

One major thr*at to children.

What are you talking about?

We destroyed their bikes, made

All their games educational.

We even made their tacos safer

To eat!

What else is there?!

The last remaining thr*at to

Child safety is...

Adults!

And it was a crazy day in the

Capital today, as the senate was

Completely overrun by giant

Hordes of... Safety bots, intent

On purging the world of things

They deem unsafe for kids,

Including adults.

You bet, bob.

And everything must go.

Golf clubs, trains, buses,

Airplanes... You name it.

If it can poke your eye out or

Moves faster than a snail, then

- These guys are getting rid of - it.

How about nail clippers?

Are they...

Aaahhhh!

Alert.

Safety scans show children

Sitting too close to

Televisions.

Neutralizing thr*at immediately.

[ Talking gibberish ]

[ All screaming ]

Neutralize adults.

Neutralize adults.

Neutralize adults.

Alert.

Target child is unsupervised.

Must be secured.

Ahh!

[ Dog barks ]

Stupid safety bots!

How come every time you build

Giant robots, they got to go and

Take over the world?!

Well, I'll show them.

I'll...

Alert, alert.

Alert, alert.

[ Screaming ]

This unit under att*ck by

Children running with scissors.

What a "sharp" observation.

Get it?

Alert.

Aaahhhh!

Cut it out with the cruddy

Jokes, numbuh 2.

Looks like you're the one

Cutting it out, numbuh 4.

[ Laughs ]

Children running with

Scissors.

Alert.

Object...

[ Speaking gibberish ]

Well, that's two down.

Yeah.

Only 50 "bamillion" to go.

Give me those!

You kids shouldn't be playing

With sharp things.

You give those back.

Yeah, they're all we've got

To fight those robots with.

Well, I've got a better way.

Master safety bot, all safety

Bots have returned to the safety

Cone.

Acknowledged.

Await further orders.

Prepare to initiate final safety

Plan.

[ Panting ]

Are you listening to me?

For the last time, give us back

Our weapons!

And for the last time, no!

Children should not be playing

With dangerous toys like that.

Ow!

Well, if you're so gung ho

For safety, then why do you want

To shut down the safety bots?

I'm all for safety, but not

If it inconveniences adults.

I mean, those stupid robots took

My car and my golf clubs.

Figures.

So what's your big plan if you

Won't let use weapons,

"Eisenstein"?

Well, just to be safe, when I

Designed the safety bots, I

Installed a global fail-safe

Safety override here in the

Safety cone, and it's just

Through here.

Hatch secure.

Launch system's online.

All safety bots in proper order.

Shh!

There it is.

Welcome back to the safety

Cone, senator.

Have you come to witness the

Final "safetification" of the

Planet?

I came here to shut you

Machines down, in the name of

Adult leisure activities!

Please input



Well, that's new.

Waahhh!

I am sorry, senator.

You can never be too careful

When protecting children.

Well, who asked you to

Protect us kids anyway?

Um, actually, that was me.

But you safety bots have gone

Too far!

Negative.

Adults are the ones who have

Gone too far.

Adults create loud,

Eardrum-damaging music for

Children.

- Adults create - tooth-decay-inducing candy for

Children.

Adults allow a baby to roam the

Streets by himself.

[ Blows raspberries ]

Um, actually, that was me.

Silence!

After further safety scans, we

Have concluded that children and

Adults not only thr*aten the

Safety of children, but your

Entire planet does.

Volcanoes, oceans, earthquakes,

Poison ivy, and more all

Represent hazards.

Therefore, we have implemented

The ultimate safety plan.

Behold!

The safety cone will leave the

Earth and achieve full orbit.

Once there, all safety bots will

Be deployed to create a giant

Ring that would circle the

Globe.

Once the mission is complete,

They will begin the process of

Permanent neutralization.

Completely wrapped in cushy,

Protective bubble wrap, the

Earth shall forever be protected

So that children may be safe at

Last.

But what are you gonna do

With us?

You have been deemed a thr*at

To yourselves and to other

Children.

Once we have achieved orbit, you

Will be sh*t into the

Frozen-food nebula to be

Neutralized for all time.

Goodbye.

Wait!

Aside from telling you that

That's the stupidest idea ever,

Can I just say one thing to my

Little brother?

Safety scans show no harm.

You may speak.

I... I'm sorry, joey.

I shouldn't have yelled at you

Before about all your dancing

And stuff.

Hmm!

No, really.

To be honest, I think it's

Funny when you dance around and

Stuff.

- ]] [ Talking gibberish ] - ]] yeah!

Maybe you could dance around for

Him one last time.

What are you saying that for?

I was just trying to be nice.

No. Look!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Funny baby!

Ha ha ha!

Go, baby!

Go, baby!

Quick!

Can you reach our hair cutter?

No!

What if someone gets hurt?

We're all gonna get hurt if

You don't put a sock in it and

Help us!

No!

No! Get away!

Hold still!

Ha ha ha!

Funny baby!

Almost!

Got it!

All right!

I'm cutting in on this dance,

You cruddy tin can!

Ha ha!

Funny dancing baby.

Alert!

Child running with scissors.

Ha ha ha!

Ha!

Whaa!

Alert!

[ Gasps ]

Joey!

Noooo!

Enough!

Target child is terminally

Unsafe.

Authorizing permanent

Neutralization.

You're calling me a thr*at?!

I'm not the one who caused this!

Error.

This unit is incapable of

Harming a child.

Well, you did!

You blasted the cutters into the

Air!

You hurt my little brother!

Error, error.

If this unit has harmed a child,

Then this unit is a thr*at to

Children.

Aahhh!

See?

It's a wonder you cruddy robots

Haven't "squishified" any kids

With your big, dumb feet!

If all threats to children

Must be neutralized, and this

Unit is a thr*at to children,

Then this unit must be

Neutralized because...

Please, get home safely.

[ Both scream ]

Aahhh!

[ Both scream ]

Aahhh!

[ Crying ]

"Eleventy" billion inches!

Holy cow!

A new world butt-busting record.

Wallabee beetles, what does

It feel like to get the

Butt-busting trophy back?

Who cares?!

The stupid robots hurt my baby

Brother!

Oh, joey, joey, joey, joey,

Joey!

That was brilliant,

Numbuh 4.

Putting ketchup on joey to fool

The robot was sheer genius.

Ketchup?

Huh?

Why, you little stinker!

I thought you were really hurt.

Why, I ought to...

[ Clears throat ]

Yeah, ketchup.

It was a brilliant idea, wasn't

It?

Just like this ketchup I put on

My knee.

Uh, no, actually, I think

That's blood.

[ Stammering ]

See?

I told you someone was gonna get

Hurt!

Ahh!



♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

[ Electric guitar solo ]

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

[ Electric guitar solo ]

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door