06x05 - Operation S.P.I.N.A.C.H./Operation M.E.S.S.A.G.E.

[bunniefuu]

[ Fanfare plays ]

The most honorable

Amerigo vespinacio!

[ Foreign accent ] ah, your

Majesty.

[ Foreign accent ] you may

Rise, brother vespinacio.

You have come with a request...

Yes, no?

sí, s your majesty.

I wish to travel to the

New world and spread the word of

The glorious spinach to all the

Children!

A wonderful idea!

In the name of our land,

La spinacia, I'm gonna give you

And your conquistadores the

Blessing of the kingdom.

Now go with the spinach!

Uh, numbuh 4, I don't see

Anyone else here.

Are you sure it's "national walk

Out of school and go to the

Beach day"?

Sure it is!

I just came up with the idea

This morning.

I don't know.

We could get in big trouble.

Relax, numbuh 2.

Have I ever gotten us into

Trouble?

- ]] Ah... - ]] Don't answer that question!

Anyway, it's lunchtime.

What you got to trade for a

Baloney sandwich?

Ooh, how about a chicken

Salad...

I claim this land in the name

Of la spinacia!

Do you mind, bub?

We're trying to have lunch here!

Ooh, we bring the lunch, huh?

You try this spinach quiche, no?

Eecchhh!

No is right!

Um, well, maybe just a taste.

And it was during this period

That the tolmecs first started

Using chipotle sauce as a

Building material.

The spinach armada!

They got numbuh 2!

Wallabee beetles!

How many times do I have to tell

You not to come to class in your

Underwear?!

[ Laughter ]

It's a bathing suit!

Not to be alarmed, children.

We come in peace.

All we ask is that you try the

Spinach, and you will see the

Way of the glorious green leaf!

I don't know who you think

You are, but we don't give in to

Culinary terrorism, especially

For something that looks like

Seaweed and tastes like dirt!

[ Gasps ]

You speak the blasfemia!

Fluently!

And if you think you guys can

Just come into our school and

Force-feed us this junk, then

You've never tangled with us.

Kids next door, battle stations!

Yay!

Mission time!

So long, green jeans!

Ha ha ha ha!

[ All roaring ]

[ Groans ]

A little help here, guys?

My stupid door is jammed!

- ]] All right, team, we've got to - get to the tree house and call

- In clover kids next door for - backup.

Let's do it!

Hey, look!

A camping trip.

- [ All gasp ] - what?

You guys forget your

Marshmallows or something?

[ Pounding ]

[ Groans ]

Thanks for waiting up, guys.

Next time... [ Gasps ]

[ Gasps ]

In spinach-us we eat-us,

In our belly-us,

Yummy, yummy spinach-us.

Come here!

Give me your robe, you

Spinach-eating creep.

[ Gasps ] numbuh 2?

Man, I'm glad I found you.

For a minute, I thought I was

Gonna have to save us all from

Eating disgusting spinach by

Myself.

But there's nothing

Disgusting about spinach,

Numbuh 4.

It's quite good, actually.

What?!

Ha!

That's a good one, numbuh 2.

For a second there, I thought

You were serious.

[ Foreign accent ] I am

Serious, numbuh 4!

You should really give spinach a

Try.

I'm sure you, too, will be

Converted to the wonders of the

Green leaf.

Well, that's just cr-cr-crazy

Talk!

- No kid actually likes to eat - that crud.

Ah, brother hoagie, I see you

Are spreading the word of the

Glorious spinach to your

Friends!

But, alas,

Brother vespinacio, numbuh 4

Will not open his mouth to the

Joys of the green leaf.

Oh, don't you worry,

Brother hoagie.

You go with the others and sing

The joys of the leaf.

I will show your amigo here the

Green light personally.

Go with the spinach,

Wallabee.

Blecch!

In spinach-us we love-us.

We eat-us in our belly-us.

And now, mi amigo, you will

Eat the spinach!

You can't make me!

Oh, no?

[ Screaming in distance ]

We have ways of making you eat.

Spinach-us, you eat-us, or

Else-us we sing-us.

[ Gulps ]

[ Upbeat music plays ]

♪ Try it, you'll like it

♪ That's what we have to say

- ♪ Just taste it - ♪ you'll love it

♪ There is no other way

♪ The spinach inquisition...

It's here, and it's a hoot ♪

♪ The spinach inquisition

♪ Some call it a leafy food

♪ Just taste it

- ]] ♪ You'll love it - ]] ♪ why go through

- All this row? ♪ - ]] ♪ A bit then?

♪ A smidgen

♪ You really can't say no

- ]] I said no once, I said no - twice.

- You chained me here, and that's - not nice.

- I will not eat it, not even a - scrap.

I will not try it.

- It tastes like... - ]] ♪ Stop!

♪ Why no,

You little so-and-so? ♪

♪ If you will not try it,

Then in the vat you go ♪

♪ Oh

♪ Will you try it?

No, no, no!

♪ Will you taste it?

Unh-unh-unh.

Well, if he won't try it,

Maybe his girlfriend will.

♪ So, come on, monks,

Let's give them a thrill ♪

- ]] ♪ Please, taste it - ♪ you'll love it

♪ Don't make us be so harsh

♪ A nibble, why quibble?

♪ It won't make you barf

What's wrong with you?

Are you deaf?

- Bring that junk back to the - chef.

- ]] It's yucky, blecchy, gross, - and stupid.

I tried it once.

- It tastes like... - ]] ♪ Stop! Oh, please,

Don't make us get severe ♪

♪ Or maybe you'd be better off

Trying it in here ♪

♪ Will you try it

- In a bowl? ♪ - ]] Not one lousy crumb.

- ]] ♪ Will you try it - on a roll? ♪

♪ Do I look like I'm that

Dumb?! ♪

♪ Yeah!

♪ The spinach inquisition...

Come on and open wide ♪

♪ The spinach inquisition...

Turn your belly green inside ♪

♪ We asked you very nicely

♪ We asked you a few times

♪ But if you will not taste it,

I'm afraid you'll have to... ♪

Stop!!

"Stop" is right!

The only thing worse than

Spinach is a cruddy

Song-and-dance number about

Spinach!

[ Normal voice ] I didn't

Realize you were forcing kids to

Eat spinach.

Ah, sí.

I know, I know.

Nobody ever expects the spinach

Inquisition.

[ Rim sh*t ]

But you are a naive little boy,

amigo.

Most childrens no eat the

Spinach and love it, like you.

But if they don't like to eat

Spinach, then they shouldn't

Have to eat it.

[ Gasps ]

Be careful, brother hoagie.

You speak the blasfemia!

[ Foreign accent ] you're...

Right, brother vespinacio.

I don't know what came over me.

If these children won't taste

The joys of spinach on their

Own, they must be forced to.

Numbuh 2, what are you do...

Whaaa!

- ]] That's a good boy, - brother hoagie.

Huh?

- ]] [ Normal voice ] hey, - amerigo, how about you take a

Turn on the wheel?

Aahhh!

Get out of the way!

[ All screaming ]

Yaahhh!

Huh?

[ Panting ]

Hey, come back here!

All right, vespinacio, take your

Leafy lackeys and go back where

You came from.

You will pay for your heresy

Against the spinach, mi amigo!

Ha! Raahh!

[ Laughs ]

[ Chuckles ]

You can't win, you know?

Even if you... Ugh! Defeat

Us, more kids will sprout up

Like spinach and defeat your

Green tyranny.

[ Groans ]

Ah-hoo!

Yaaahh!

[ Cries ]

Oh-oh-oh, my face!

Aah!

He-e-lp!

Help!

Please!

I hate the spinach!

All: what?!

There, I said it.

I hate the spinach!

What, doesn't everybody?

I agree.

He's right.

Then why do you eat it?

The king of spinacia, he

Makes us eat it.

Please, I beg you, get me out of

Here!

All right...

But under one condition.

So, for saving our

Countryman, we sign this treaty,

And we will never force the kids

In your country to eat the

Spinach again!

We will instead head north to

Canada!

Ha ha!

You know, I don't really like

The spinach, either.

I'm just trying to get everyone

Else to eat it so I don't have

To.

Ha ha ha!

So, you want to trade some of

Your spinach for a chicken-salad

Sandwich?

[ Thinking ] it's a darn

Lonely life out here, but some

Cowpoke's got to do it.

Sometimes, I got to remind

Myself that the job didn't

Choose me.

I chose the job.

And so I ride alone.

Maybe I've rode for you at one

Point or another.

You say you want a note passed

To some "feller" in your math

Class.

You talk to me.

And you say you don't want no

Varmints to see what's written

On that there note?

You talk to me.

Mr. Gilligan!

And you say you definitely

Don't want no teacher getting

Ahold of that note and reading

It in class?

Mr. Gilligan!!

Well, you guessed it,

Pardner.

You talk to me.

Mr. Gilligan, I am talking to

You!!

And what is a campfire doing in

My school hallway?

Just rustling up some

Victuals there,

Sheriff sauerbraten.

By the way, did you know that

Victuals is spelled "vic-tu-als"

But pronounced "vittles"?

No!

But I do know that detention

Will be pronounced "gilligan" if

You don't get to class

Immediately!

Don't get your underwear all

Twisted in the saddle, sheriff.

I'm a-going.

Aah!

I'd love to stay and gab with

You, but me and old rickety here

Gots a meeting with a certain

Fourth-grade president.

Giddyup, girl.

Yee-ha!

Who was that masked boy?

Whoa!

Be right back, girl.

Howdy, pardners.

Where have you been,

Gilligan?

Sorry, but I had to rustle me

Up some victuals before your

Delivery.

Say, did you know that

"Victuals" is actually

Spelled...

Yes, yes, it's spelled

"Vic-tu-als."

I know.

- But I didn't call you here for a - spelling lesson.

- I called you to deliver a very - important message for

President eggleston.

[ Laughs stupidly ]

[ Humming ]

The kids next door baloney

Express has successfully

Delivered thousands of notes

Without one ever being read in

Front of class.

Well, this one had better not

Be read by anybody other than

Its intended recipient.

I assume you know muffy jenkins.

She's a cute filly, but a

Might kissy-faced, if you ask

Me.

I didn't ask you, but I'm

Telling you that you have until

The end of lunch period to

Deliver this note to her.

Relax, there, greenhorn.

I ain't never missed a delivery

Yet.

[ Imitates g*n clicking ]

Not yet you haven't.

[ Thinking ] duke, runt, and

Lunk... The six-gum g*ng.

Now what do you suppose those

No-good varmints are doing,

Lingering around these parts?

[ Western music plays ]

[ Whispering indistinctly ]

[ Whistles ]

Saddle up, boys!

It's not every day a feller

Gets to deliver a note for the

President of the whole fourth

Grade.

Is it a love note?

The answers to this afternoon's

History quiz?

That doesn't matter to me.

I'm just the messenger.

- And while it's my job to deliver - notes...

There he is!

Get him!

It's other folks' jobs to

Stop me.

I should have figured today

Would be the six-gum g*ng's

Turn.

Yaahhh!

Pull over, you

Good-for-nothing polecat!

[ Giggling stupidly ]

Huh?

Yee-ha!

- [ Thinking ] good thing the - g*ng's all here.

I could use some help... With my

Homework.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Aahhh!

Not gonna lose runt as easy

As the rest of them.

So we'll just have to go

Somewhere he won't.

Right, old rickety?

[ Brakes squeal ]

Dang burnit!

Idiot done hightailed it into

The gym.

Durn fool will never make it out

Of there alive.

[ Horse clomping slowly ]

[ Bird screeches ]

[ Thinking ] not many

Cowpokes dare venture into the

Gym anymore.

Some say it's a wasteland of old

Shorts and dirty socks.

But I see the place as

Perfect...

Perfect for an ambush.

Easy there, old rickety.

They ain't gonna bother us.

We're just passing through all

Friendly like.

[ Panting ]

[ Thinking ] well, at least they

Got the decency not to sh**t

When a cowpoke's trying to get

His hat back on.

Aaahh!

[ Groans ]

[ Thinking ] kindergartners.

There are many tribes in this

School, but the crayonk are the

Biggest and noblest of them all.

They're also the least forgiving

If they catch an older kid

Wandering in their territory.

Duck, duck, duck, goose.

Aah!

So, mind my asking what you kids

Are up to?

Silence, fourth grader.

Once "duck, duck, goose" dance

Done, you fall into pit of

Paste, and your goose cooked!

Speaking of cooking, you

Wouldn't mind helping a cowpoke

- Out with some victuals, would - you?

Which reminds me...

Don't!

- Do not do this, - "sits in corner."

Out of way,

"Gets pigtails pulled."

This fourth grader must be

Punished.

What goes on here?

Oh, "chief colors with broken

Crayons," that boy has done

Nothing wrong.

Nothing?

- He found wandering in crayonk - territory.

You come to take our milk

Money, like your president and

His g*ng did many calendar pages

Ago?

Begging your pardon, chief,

But president

James nixon mcgarfield got sent

To permanent detention after

Turning totally evil.

There's a new president in town,

Egbert eggleston.

Egg-boy, huh?

My dad friends with his dad.

Buy us ice cream after soccer

Practice.

Mmm, two scoops.

But if we not send message to

Older kids, they will come like

Screaming girls to "rainbow

Monkeys on ice" show and b*at us

Up for milk money.

"Sits in corner" has great

Anger at fourth graders for

Giving him atomic wedgie long

Ago.

But we kindergartners cannot

Hide from older kids forever.

We must make peace with them,

Trade yipper cards, and play

Together.

- ]] But... - ]] Silence!

"Mother dresses funny,"

"Still wets pants," release the

Fourth grader.

Thanks, pardners.

- ]] [ Grumbles ] - [ western music plays ]

There you are!

- ]] [ Thinking ] nice kids, those - kindergartners.

But they really cut into my

Schedule.

Now I've got just enough time to

Deliver the note and hopefully

Rustle up some victuals.

Hmm... Funny word, that.

Aah! Whoa!

[ Thinking ] building-block

Barricade... Old kindergartner

Trick, which can only mean...

Yeee!

I don't care what chief says!

"Sits in corner" will never

Trust older kids!

Well, well.

A kiddy-gartner.

And just in time for lunch.

So hand over your milk money

Before I give you an atomic

Wedgie, like I did last time.

Hee hee!

No!

- That's all my mommy gave me for - today.

I need my vitamin "d"!

Give it!

[ Whimpering ]

Thank you.

Now, b*at it, shrimp.

[ Groans ]

I gots me some business with

Mr. Delivery boy here.

Give it back, runt.

[ Western music plays ]

Why the heck do you care?

He's just a lousy kiddy-gartner.

I said, give it back.

Oh, yeah?

Make me.

Ow!

[ Groans ]

Nice try, slowpoke.

Now, about that there note

You're delivering...

Oop!

[ Babbling ]

Today "sits in corner"

Realize that not all fourth

Graders are bad.

Much obliged, kid.

I just hate seeing a young'un

Lose his milk money to a bully.

No, you keep and... How you

Say? Rustle yourself up some

Victuals.

Well, I'd love to tell you a

Funny story about that word, but

I got a delivery to make.

See ya around, pardner.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Afternoon, ladies.

Special delivery for

Muffy jenkins, courtesy of the

- Kids next... - The note!

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, my gosh!

I lost the note!

That's what I was trying to

Tell you, you idiot!

You left the president's office

Without it!

[ Laughs nervously ]

I-i thought I forgot something.

Yeah, your brain!

Of all the dangblasted,

No-good, useless polecats, I get

Stuck with...

Well, my work here is done.

Happy trails, ladies.

Like I said before, it's a

Lonely job, but somebody's got

To do it.

Maybe one day you'll need a note

Delivered, and if you do, you

Know who to call.

So, what's the note say,

Muffy?

- ]] [ Giggles ] - oh, nothing.

That egg-boy is so weird.



♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

[ Electric guitar solo ]

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

[ Electric guitar solo ]

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door