01x06 - Meets the Rot Squad

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Magic School Bus". Aired: September 10, 1994 – December 6, 1997.*
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Ms. Frizzle embarks on adventures with her class on the eponymous school bus.
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01x06 - Meets the Rot Squad

Post by bunniefuu »

[Beep beep]

Seat belts, everyone!

Please let this be

A normal field trip.

With the frizz?

No way!

Ohh!

♪ Cruisin' on down main street ♪

♪ You're relaxed

And feelin' good ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Next thing that you know,

You're seein' ♪

Wa-ha-ha-hoo!

♪ An octopus

In the neighborhood! ♪

♪ Surfin' on a sound wave ♪

♪ Swingin' through the stars ♪

♪ Take a left

At your intestine ♪

♪ Take your second right

Past mars ♪

♪ On the magic school bus ♪

♪ Navigate a nostril ♪

♪ Climb on

The magic school bus ♪

♪ Spank a plankton, too ♪

Take that!

♪ On our magic school bus ♪

♪ Raft a river of lava ♪

♪ On the magic school bus ♪

♪ Such a fine thing to do! ♪

Whoa!

♪ So strap your bones

Right to the seat ♪

♪ Come on in

And don't be shy ♪

♪ Just to make

Your day complete ♪

♪ You might get baked

Into a pie ♪

♪ On the magic school bus ♪

♪ Step inside,

It's a wilder ride! ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Ride on the magic school bus ♪

[Beep beep]

[Sniff]

Eww!

Is that some kind

Of rot, or what?

That is one rotten

Orange, ralphie.

It's so disgusting,

It could win

The contest.

[Sniff]

Ah! The smell

Of decomposing orange!

Oh, delectable!

Hmm hmm hmm!

So, what's my score,

Tim?

Do I win the most

Disgusting, grossest

Rot contest ever?

[Ding]

[Tim]

Two nose-holds

And a faint.

Good one, ralphie.

Whoo-hoo!

Definitely disgusting!

Hmm...let's see.

Yep. This should do it.

Next!

How about this, tim?

It fell

Behind the counter

When I was still

At my old school.

Eww, phoebe!

That banana is

So rotten, it's mush.

Score?

[Ding ding ding]

That's three nose-holds.

Congratulations!

Next!

Wait until

You see this!

Wanda!

What is in there?

I don't know,

Carlos.

Nobody knows.

It's been

In the fridge

Since I was .

Huh!

Huh!

Just beautiful!

You're not gonna

Open it, are you?

[Ms. Frizzle]

Of course she is.

Oh, come on, class.

Don't you want to see

What rip-roaring rot

Is inside?

Here goes!

[All coughing]

[Gasp]

Yuck!

Eww!

Score, please.

Three faints!

Very good, wanda!

We've got us

A winner!

And to congratulate

You on winning

The most disgusting

Rot contest,

I have

A little prize.

Oh, wanda!

It's a baby tree!

Ms. Frizzle,

I really like it

And everything,

But it's not really

Rotten, is it?

It's so alive!

That's right,

Keesha.

It's very alive,

And so is rot.

[All]

It is?

Mm-hmm!

Well, wanda,

What would you

Like to do

With your prize?

Um...

I guess I'd like

To plant it.

And I know

Just the spot.

You know that old lot

Near my house on decatur?

An excellent place

For a new tree!

To the bus!

Two by two, please.

[Keesha]

Now, wanda,

Do you really want to put

Your nice tree

In that

Ugly, old lot?

[Wanda]

Correct.

[Carlos]

It's filled with

Lots of dead stuff--

Rotting logs,

Tree stumps...

That's the point,

Carlos.

We could make

That lot beautiful--

Just clear out

All the dead stuff

And plant my lovely

Green tree.

Think how great this tree

Will look when it's big!

It could be a little park,

And we could call it

Wandaworld!

No, wait! No, wait!

No, wait.

Why not do something

Really cool with it?

What about

A theme park?

[All]

Yeah! Cool!

Theme park?

Now, wait a minute.

Yes! And the theme

Could be rot.

What?

And we'll call it

Rotland!

Yeah!

Ah. Interesting

Notion.

Any other

Thoughts?

I know! I know!

Let's build

A restaurant.

Yeah...

A fast-food joint!

I hate to say this,

But restaurants

And theme parks mean litter.

Garbage everywhere!

Think of the environment.

[All]

Hmm...

So, let's build

A recycling center.

A what?

Oh, no!

That's a great idea,

Phoebe.

No, it's not.

Hey! There's the lot!

Ms. Frizzle,

I'm going to go out

And have a look.

Certainly, wanda.

Take chances!

Get messy!

Make mistakes!

Whew! This is worse

Than I thought.

There's a lot of stuff

To get rid of.

Hey, guys!

A tunnel of rocks!

Junk sculptures!

Hello!

Excuse me.

I have an announcement.

We need help.

Huh?

"Larry's log away--

The log removal service

That won't leave you stumped."

Perfect!

I can't wait to see

Their faces

When I get this place

All cleaned up.

Hello?

Oh, hi. Is this

Larry's log away?

You got him.

Great. I have

A job for you.

We need to get rid of

Some useless, dead logs.

Heh heh heh! Sure.

I can do that.

Where is it?

The lot on decatur.

Ooh! How about

If I come now?

Yeah! That would be

Just great!

[Carlos]

Listen. The theme park

Could have a slime ride.

Forget it.

This neighborhood

Needs a restaurant!

We can argue

About what to do

After

The lot is clear!

Hold it!

Why not just

Leave this place

The way it is?

Arnold, why do you

Always want to

Leave things alone

Instead of

Doing something?

I have this theory

That if you leave

Nature alone,

It'll get along

Just fine.

Forget your theories,

Arnold.

That rotten log has to go.

It's dead. It's useless!

I mean, look at it.

And that, wanda,

Is exactly

What we shall do.

Seat belts,

Everyone.

Wanda, now look

What you've done!

The frizz is going to--

No! No, wait!

Ms. Frizzle!

You're not

Going to--

We really

Shouldn't!

We can't!

[All]

Whoaaa!

[Arnold]

Too late, wanda.

We've shrunk!

[Gasp]

Oh, no! Not now!

What did I do?

What did I do?

[Buzzing]

[Wanda]

But, ms. Frizzle,

We've got to get

Out of here--now!

Where are we going?

[Ms. Frizzle]

We're going to find out

What rot has to do

With life, wanda.

But do we have to

Find out now?

[Ms. Frizzle]

Ok, class,

Everybody out!

Take chances!

Make mistakes!

Get messy!

Wa-hoo!

Yeah. "Make mistakes"--

My specialty.

Wow! A dead log

Sure looks different

When you're no bigger

Than a bug.

And the bugs

Look different, too,

Right, liz?

Wow! Look at that!

Rot! Life!

Ok. Let's go back now.

Lighten up, wan.

Last one up is

A centipede!

No! Wait! Please,

Don't go up there!

We've got to go-o-o!

What's that?

Run! Aah!

[Ms. Frizzle]

That, class,

Is a chipmunk.

Hide.

Psst! Wanda?

Where are you?

I'm over here!

Uhh!

Ah, thanks, ms. Frizzle.

Don't mention it,

Wanda.

Wow! It's another world

Up here.

Wowww!

The perfect look

For rotland.

But we can't do anything

Until we take

This log away.

So, let's get big again

And get out of here.

Hey, where do you think

This goes?

It goes down, ralphie, ok?

Now, us, we want to go home.

Single file, class.

Our rotten field trip

Has only just begun.

Ohh. Not if I have anything

To say about it.

Hey, everyone.

Uh, there's a great log

In my back yard.

Why don't we go there

For our field trip?

I'll serve

Cookies and milk!

Wanda, we're here

Because you pointed

To this log

And said--

And I quote--

"Just look at it!"

Remember?

I took a chance.

I made a mistake.

So, how do I stop it

From getting really messy?

No sign of larry

The log away guy.

Huh?

Yikes!

Uhh!

[Tap tap tap]

We really have to

Get out of here!

What's that sound?

Don't worry, class.

Woodpeckers only eat bugs.

Wow! There are hundreds

Of tunnels down here!

How about

A tunnel tour

In rotland?

Great idea, d.a.!

Forget wandaworld.

Let's build rotland.

And I say,

Start right away.

Let's go!

Hey! Look at that!

It's coming this way!

Look out!

[Wanda]

Aah!

Well done, class.

You found

A bessie bug,

One of the animals

Which made

All these tunnels.

Great!

Here's the bus.

We can go now.

[Arnold]

A bessie bus?

Now I've seen

Everything.

This place keeps getting

More and more amazing!

Ah!

What's this stuff?

Those are

Part of the mushrooms

We saw on the outside

Of the log.

Some mushrooms grow

On dead wood.

Underneath

The mushroom caps,

A tangle

Of tiny threads

Grows throughout

The wood.

These threads

Eat the wood

And help rot the log.

Hey!

This thread effect

Could be good

For the haunted

House in rotland.

Roarrr!

Whoa!

He's back!

[Ralphie]

You did say just bugs,

Right, ms. Frizzle?

[Ms. Frizzle]

Yes, ralphie.

[Wanda]

Phew! That was close!

[Phoebe]

Who would have

Known a dead log

Could be so alive?

Right,

Ms. Frizzle?

I'm sorry, but I don't

Think we should

Stay in a place

Where we might become

Somebody's lunch.

I told you

We should have left

Well enough alone.

And I'm telling you

We have to get out

Of here before--

Wa-hoo!

Ms. Frizzle?

Too cool!

[Dorothy ann]

Come on!

No, d.a.! Let go!

Wait!

Whoa!

[Ms. Frizzle]

I bet you never thought

An amoeboid plasmodium

Could be so much fun!

[Wanda]

A what?

A slime mold--

It's another living thing

Living off the log.

Think of it, d.a.--

The stunningly stupendous

Super slime slide

Found exclusively at...

Shh!

[Snoring]

Rotland.

No, carlos, found naturally

In a dead log,

Which is stunningly stupendous

Just the way it is.

Right!

Wait! What about taking

This log away?

Sorry, wanda.

We've changed

Our minds.

Hey, hey, carlos, d.a.,

Welcome to the-leave-it-

As-it-is club.

Ok, then, it's settled.

We'll do

A restaurant instead.

Now let's go!

[Clang clang clang]

What was that?

Hey, wait! You're

Going the wrong way!

It gets worse and worse!

Lunchtime, class.

All right!

Nothing like a rotten log

That's catered!

So, what will it be?

Log nuggets?

Wood dumplings?

Pureed bark?

[All]

Huh?

I hate to be picky,

Ms. Frizzle,

But do you have

Anything in the way

Of food?

But the log is food,

Ralphie.

That's the beauty of it.

All these creatures

Use the log

For food and energy.

Fine, fine.

So, let's just

Get out of here

And open

Our restaurant.

Right, ralphie?

Whoa! Not only does

Stuff eat the log,

But stuff eats the stuff

That eats the log!

Everywhere you look,

Around here,

It's lunchtime.

You know something, keesha,

This place is...

Already a restaurant!

What?

Sorry, wanda,

But we don't want to

Clear it away anymore.

Yes! Two more for

The keep-the-log-

The-way-it-is club.

Ok. So,

No rotland,

No restaurant.

So, let's get

Big and argue

Some more!

Why argue? Five out

Of eight kids say

We shouldn't

Take this log away.

One more chance to get

Everybody out of here.

Phoebe! Tim!

[Ms. Frizzle]

♪ Da da da da da da da,

Moldering in the grave ♪

♪ Hmm hmm hmm hmm,

Moldering in the grave ♪

[Phoebe]

This reminds me

Of the mush

My banana turned into.

The process

Of decomposition

Breaks

Everything down,

Be it wood,

Banana, or bug.

Phoebe!

Phoebe! Tim!

I can honestly say

That your

Recycling center idea

Is the best ever

In the history

Of the earth!

Really?

You bet.

So, please,

Please tell ms. Frizzle

That you want to get big

To recycle this log.

Please?

But it's already

Being recycled, wanda,

As food for fungi

And bugs...

As a place for

Mosses and lichens

To grow...

And as a home for

All sorts of creatures.

Ok, ok, but all these creatures

Leave a lot of litter,

Don't they?

You know...bug plops.

So the quicker

We clear it--

Wait!

The bug plops

Are being used, too.

[Plop plop plop]

[Tim]

Natural recycling.

I'm sorry,

But that is gross!

Oh, it's not gross,

Wanda.

It's another addition

To decomposition.

Ooh! I give up!

Ok. It's not gross.

It's perfect. I love it.

Now let's just

Get out of here!

[Keesha]

Hey, everyone!

Over here!

Now what?

Look! Beautiful rich soil!

Perfect

For your tree,

Wanda.

Now will you join

The-leave-it-

As-it-is club?

I don't believe it!

♪ An old dead log

Sittin' on your lawn ♪

♪ It's ugly, it's awful,

And you want it gone ♪

♪ Well, that log you got,

It's not a blot ♪

♪ 'Cause it's got rot,

And that says a lot ♪

♪ It's breakin' on down,

Are you wonderin' how? ♪

♪ With fungus and bugs,

They use it for chow ♪

♪ It's rained on by rain,

Snowed on by snow ♪

♪ Breaks down into soil

So new things can grow ♪

♪ It's cool, it's renewal,

Just ask ms. Frizzle ♪

♪ The log's just fine

The way it izzle ♪

This place is fine...

Just the way it is!

All right.

I see it now.

There's absolutely

No reason to

Take this log away.

[Machinery grinds]

Except one!

Yeah, wanda?

Which one's that?

Larry.

Who's larry?

Aah!

Him!

Aah!

Let's get

Out of here!

Aah!

This way, class.

What's that?

Stay with your partners.

Whoa!

Run!

[Buzzing]

[Gasping]

[Squeak squeak]

Wanda, is there

Something you'd like

To tell us?

I'm sorry!

Really, I am!

I didn't know

When I called larry

What I know now.

Oh, why do I always

Have to do something

When I should just leave

Well enough alone?

[Ms. Frizzle]

Sometimes action

Has a certain

Attraction,

Wanda.

And now is one

Of those times!

I've got it!

[Whispering]

Good idea!

Hey! Help!

[Wanda]

Put these on,

And hurry!

You have got to be joking.

You want us to wear

These things?

Do you have

A better idea?

Whoa!

Seat belts, everyone!

Here we go!

Larry!

Larry!

Who's that?

Hmm.

What on earth do you think

You're doing, lawrence?

I, um, uh...

I'm from the organization

Of log gremlins local .

You are?

And frankly...

The olg doesn't like people

Coming along

And unnecessarily

Shaking things up.

Tell me, larry,

What do you see

When you look around here?

Well, I see

A routine rot removal.

Well, look again.

See that dead log?

Did you know

It's a theme park,

A restaurant,

A recycling center,

And wandaworld

All rotted into one?

You wouldn't believe

How many creatures

Live in there!

And do you know what else?

Uh, no. What else?

They are nature's

Rot squad, larry.

Rot is a wonderful thing,

A necessary thing.

Rot is nature

Recycling itself,

Creating the new

From the old.

Good one!

Good one, wanda!

Whoaah!

Um, ha ha ha! I get it.

Is there a hidden camera

Around here someplace?

Come on, you guys!

Face it, lawrence.

Removing this log

Is an imposition

On decomposition.

I had no idea

Rotting logs had such

Eloquent spokesgremlins.

But how come

I never heard them before?

Hoo boy!

I probably shouldn't be

Operating heavy machinery.

We did it! Yeah!

Yeah!

That gremlin idea was

A stroke of genius, wanda.

Thanks, arnold,

But I'll tell you

Something.

From now on,

I'm gonna leave

Well enough alone.

Whaaaaa?

Wanda,

What should we do?

What should we do?

What should we do?

Come on, arnold.

Everybody,

Back on the bus!

[All]

What?

[Ms. Frizzle]

Um, do you two have

Any particular plans

For that odoriferous

Collection of rot?

[Wanda]

Rot is an important

Part of nature,

Right?

Right.

And one of its uses

Is to provide food

For other living

Things. So...

Who's up

For a picnic?

Yuck!

But, wanda, arnold,

That's disgusting!

Not if you're my tree!

Yum! Yum! Compost!

As I always say,

It doesn't have to

Be delicious

To be nutritious.

[Laughter]

Is this

The magic school bus?

Is this the magic

School bus?

Overlapping voices:

Is this the magic school bus?

Magic school bus?

Magic school bus?

Both: magic school bus?

Overlapping voices:

Magic school bus?

Kids:

I want the magic school bus!

[Telephone ringing]

[Grunts]

Liz, you can't

Bring that in here.

Hello--hello--

Hello?

Magic school bus.

Girl: hi.

Are you responsible

For that show

I just saw

On decomposition?

Get that a--

Why do you ask?

Because it was rotten.

Ha ha ha!

No kidding.

No, wait.

I was kidding.

I've got to tell you,

I've seen some rotten things

In my time,

But they're not always

Filled with bugs and fungus.

Um...well, that's

Because a lot of rot

Is caused by things

Too small to see.

We wanted to shrink down

To the size of bacteria,

But arnold wouldn't go.

Is there anything

That doesn't rot?

Not if it was

Once alive.

Plants, animals,

Bacteria--

They all decompose

After they die.

Even the rotters

Eventually rot.

Ok, so, tell me this:

There's a fallen log

Across the street

From my house.

It's been there

Since last summer.

When is it gonna rot?

It's already

Decomposing,

But rot can take

A long time--

Years, even.

But it will eventually

Return to the soil,

Just like the log

In the show.

Like I said,

Almost everything rots.

Yeah. How come you

Almost totally ignored

One of my favorite

Creatures?

I did? Which one?

The earthworm.

Funny you should

Say that.

Earthworms

Should not be ignored...

Never.

Earthworms are very good

At eating and plowing

And improving soil.

Then that's what

They should be left

To do.

You know,

I was thinking,

What if there were no rot,

If nothing rotted, ever?

Then the soil wouldn't

Get back the nutrients

That plants need

To grow.

Most plants would die,

And the earth

Would become barren,

Like a desert.

And you know what?

What?

There are no such things

As log gremlins.

Well...depends on

Whom you talk to.

Ha ha ha!

[Beep beep]

♪ Surfin' on a sound wave ♪

♪ Swingin' through the stars ♪

♪ Take a left

At your intestine ♪

♪ Take your second right

Past mars ♪

♪ On the magic school bus ♪

♪ Navigate a nostril ♪

♪ Climb on

The magic school bus ♪

♪ Spank a plankton, too ♪

Take that!

♪ On our magic school bus ♪

♪ Raft a river of lava ♪

♪ On the magic school bus... ♪

♪ So strap your bones

Right to the seat ♪

♪ Come on in ♪

♪ And don't be shy ♪

♪ Just to make

Your day complete... ♪

♪ Step inside,

It's a wilder ride! ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Ride on the magic school bus ♪

[Beep beep]
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