03x19 - Swellview's Got Talent

[bunniefuu]

- In five... four...

three... two...

[ audience cheers ]

- Good evening, and welcome to...

[ all together ] Swellview's Got Talent!

- I'm Danny Chest.

- We love you Danny Chest!

[ cheers ]

- I get the same thing all the time.

- Allll right ladies, try to control yourselves.

- Man, that Danny Chest is handsome.

[ doorbell rings ]

Ooo!

- Sushi Dushi.

- Oh, good! But hang on a sec!

I'm watching television!

- Hey, what show is that? Swellview's Got Talent?

- Yeah! My daughter's on tonight.

She's gonna be dancing!

Oh. Well sure, I can stay.

Scoochie Doochie.

- Now, let's take a minute to say hello

to this week's celebrity judges!

Starting with chair number one...

everybody knows basketball's biggest superstar,

LeBron James!

[ audience cheers ]

So let's all welcome LeBron's childhood friend...

Vanessa Harris!

[ light applause ]

And next... - Hey hey hey,

they're about to introduce the boys!

- Ooo! - So exciting!

- The guys filling judges' chairs numbers two and three

are no strangers to anyone here in Swellview.

Now give it up for Captain Man and Kid Danger!

[ big applause ]

- Yeah! - Yeah!

- Hi Danny Chest.

- Hey Danny.

- Chest.

- Ahaha... All right then...

Since we're nearing the end of this competition,

do you guys think that any of the performers this week

can beat our current front-runner?

- Ooo...man, that's a tough one.

- That's uh, hard to say. - That's a hard one.

- Um, if I had to say, I'd say no.

- 'Cuz I could say yes, but the truth really is no.

- Unless you think... - But, I mean...

- Naw. No no no no. - Nope.

[ chuckling ]

- Well, clearly our judges think that our current front-runner,

Steven Sharp, is gonna be pretty tough to beat.

And I'll show you why!

C'mon out here, Steven!

Last week, this guy wowed us with his talent

for throwing Cuban zip spikes.

Can you give us a little taste of that again?

- Of course.

How about I throw one at camera two?

- He-hey! Fantastic!

- Wow.

- Thank you! I'm Steven!

Thank you for applauding my talent!

- All right, let's bring out

our first new performer of the evening.

Please give an SGT welcome tooo...

Harry Hoagie!

- Hey there Harry. - What's up, Harry?

- I used to know LeBron James.

- So Harry...

tell us what we're gonna see you do tonight.

- Well, I'm gonna eat this entire foot submarine sandwich

in less than sixty seconds.

- Okay! Sixty seconds on the clock!

- Whooaaa... nice clock graphic.

- All right.

Ready...set...

[ all togther ] Go!

- Ahhhhhh....

AHHHH!

- Okay! That's uh... - Don't, don't, clap right now.

- I was just trying to be supportive.

- No that was not supposed-- - Sure that's not part of the...

- Yes. Nope. Not supposed to happen.

- Okay...not sure what's wrong with Harry.

But no worries! Because our next two performers

are about to dance their way into your hearts:

Here is Carl Markus and Piper Hart!

- There she is.

- So, how long have you two been dance partners?

- For about six months.

- And what's your favorite kind of dancing?

- The kind that wins Swellview's Got Talent.

- All right, well kids, let's see what ya got!

- Okay!

[ music plays ]

♪ Yeah watch me on the floor

♪ Hey hey hey

♪ Watch me on the floor

- No. No. Don't do that.

- Ba baa ahhhh.

- Obviously a major malfunction.

- Again? 'Cuz that's what the last guy did.

- It all just kinda happened.

I wanted an after-school job.

But then, an indestructible superhero

hired me to be his sidekick.

- Ah!

- Now we blow bubbles...

and fight crime. Feels good.

[ theme music ]

- Call it. - Up the tube!

- Aw, my boot! - Ha!

- Hey guys, come here!

- Okay. What do you got?

- All right. Check this out...

Last night, Henry's sister and two other performers

all freaked out in the exact same way.

First, the sandwich guy...

- Ahhhh!

- Just like Carl Markus and Henry's sister did.

- Maybe they all got sick.

- Nah, Piper was fine right before the show,

and she was totally fine right after.

- Well, if they didn't get sick

then somebody did something to them.

But why?

- And who?

- And where?

- At...at the show.

- Huh?

- You said, you said where. Right?

We-we know where.

At the show.

- Okay, do you always have to criticize me

when I'm trying to figure things out?

- Wait what? I was just, I was just--

- Y'know, sometimes a little encouragement

would be helpful, y'know?

A kind word?

Maybe a hug?

- Uh, I'm, I'm sorry.

Here you...you wanna hug, let's, let's hug...

- No not now, I don't want your hug now.

- What? Okay, you just said you wanted a hug.

I'm gonna' give you a-- - Yeah, when you WANT to, okay?

I don't want a hug from you

right after I tell you I want a hug.

I only want it to happen 'cuz you wanna hug me,

when it's your idea, not 'cuz I'd had to ask for it.

- Anywaaaaaay... so what's our plan?

- [ sighs ]Well, they're letting the people who passed out

last night perform again tonight.

- Oh.

So, you and Ray will be there as judges,

so just keep an eye out for anyone backstage--

- No no no no bad idea bad idea.

- Pardon?

- Henry and I are gonna be stuck at the judges table.

So, we can't sneak "backstage" to figure out what's goin' on,

what's the matter with you?

- Y'know...

sometimes I like kind words and hugs, too.

- Oh grow up.

- Well fine. Then let's hear your great idea.

- Sure.

During the show, you and Schwoz sneak backstage,

so you two can look around and try to figure out

what's goin' on. - Nah nah...

they only let the stage crew and performers backstage.

- True.

Charlotte, go buy yourself some boy dancing clothes.

- Huh? - Don't say huh just do it.

Schwoz...

go buy a blonde wig and a little girl's sequined jacket.

- Already got 'em!

- Now?

- Yeah, okay.

- We're gonna be live in five, people...

we are live in five minutes.

God I love this headset.

- Hey, hey...

there's my sister and her dance partner.

- Right. Let's get over there.

- Excuse me, Captain Man...?

- Uh. Yeah, what?

- Uh, I'm Steven Sharp.

- Oh yeah, how ya doin'?

- I'm talking to Captain Man.

- Oh. Well okay.

- Uh...What is that?

- Oh uh, this is my ferret, Fosset.

- Your ferret? - Fosset?

- He brings me good luck when I rub him.

And so I share my ferret with others,

so that all may have good luck.

- Cool.

Well, see ya.

- Have a good one.

- I was talking to Captain Man!

- Wow...okay.

- Hey look, it's the president of the Man Fans.

- Oh hey Captain Man!

I'm really sorry we spazzed out and fainted last night.

I have no idea what happened.

- We just started dancing and the next thing...

Wait what are you..?

- All right...

There.

- Charlotte, Schwoz, get in here.

- Okay... now you're Piper...

- And you're Carl.

- Fine. But I am NOT going out there and dancing.

- No. You won't have to.

We'll figure out who's sabotaging the performers

before you guys are called to go on.

- Right, so just hang out back here

and keep your eyes open.

- We'll do it.

- Hey, where you two goin'?

- Oh, we're judges. We're supposed to be out--

- Wait...Jasper?!?

- Yeah! Look! I'm here!

- Aww. - Why?!?

- To help!

- You're supposed to be at Junk-N-Stuff watching the store!

- Well I wanna help solve this crime!

- That's it, I'm gonna wreck this kid...

- Wait no!

ANNOUNCER: Sixty seconds to air.

- You don't have time! Jasper don't cause any problems!

All right? - Do you guys like my beard?

- Gi! - No. Hey hey hey!

- Let me hurt him!

Just let me hurt him!

Okay people! Places!

Take two! Hold the work!

Real beard! All right?

- My sandwich!

- I'm sorry!

Uh here... just hold on uh, uh...

- Ohhh Jasper.

- In five...four... three... two...

- Hey-yo!

And welcome again to...

[ all together ] Swellview's Got Talent!

All right.

I'm Danny Chest.

- We love you Danny Chest!

- Okaaay...

Now, last night we had some problems here.

So, tonight is gonna be a kind of "do-over" type deal.

Sound good?

- Cool, thanks for buyin' into the premise.

Okay! First up, this guy can actually eat a...

Uh-huh... oh really?

Apparently we had a "sandwich sitch" backstage,

so we're gonna show you that guy later.

And instead, we're gonna start off the show

with two amazing kid dancers: So let's bring 'em out!

Carl Markus and Piper Hart!

- Uh-oh.

- This should be interesting.

- No no no...we're not supposed to go on 'til later!

- There's been a change! You gotta go on now!

Okay! We're ready!

- No we're not!

- Piper and Carl!

On their way!

- C'mon!

- Wait! Wait!

The dancers need to pet my ferret for good luck

before they perform!

- There's no time!

- We failed.

Oh Fosset...

- All right, let's give Piper and Carl

some encouragement!

- Dude, we told 'em they wouldn't have to dance.

- I know.

- Well, Charlotte and Schwoz haven't even rehearsed!

What are we gonna do?!?

- Watch. Probably laugh.

Then judge.

- So, are you guys feeling better

after what happened last night?

- Uh, uh, yeah...much better.

- Hmmm... that doesn't look like Carl.

- All right kids, let's see what you got.

[ music plays ]

♪ Yeah watch me on the floor

- Uh, I just heard them say that you're performing next.

- Yeah. - Well then...

You'll need some good luck. Pet my ferret.

- Uh, I dunno man, it didn't work too well last night.

- Then pet harder. Here...

- Ferrets...ferrets... ferrets...

The Norwegian Ferret...

"Danger: Avoid contact with Norwegian Ferrets,

because they secrete powerful oils

that can cause strange reactions,

such as tongue-chewing, head vibrations,

and loss of consciousness."

Hey!

- Hello. Your beard looks fake.

- You're making the other performers pet your ferret

so they'll pass out, so then you can win first place!

- Ah. You figured that out, did you?

- Sure did.

- Well, so did he.

- Who? I don't see any--

- Yesssss. That's right.

Absorb my ferret's oil. Enjoy your nap.

- Hey! The spike thrower's attacking

our bearded production assistant!

- No I'm not!

- Uh, yeah you are! And that's against the rules!

- So? - So you're disqualified.

- Oh, uh...

Well uh, I guess I've lost then.

So, I suppose I'll just uh--

Ahhh! - Stop him!

- Stop the show!!!

- Thank you!

- Now Steven, you're not supposed to be on stage.

- You shut your stupid mouth, Danny Chest!

- Wow.

- Uh son, why don't you get off the stage 'til it's your turn.

- No! I came on this show to win back my girlfriend!

'Cuz Kid Danger stole her from me!

[ crowd gasps ] - Ahhhhh!

- Dude, I never stole your girlfriend.

- You did too! Back off Danny Chest!

- Hey!

- My girlfriend used to love me!

Until you got to be Captain Man's sidekick!

Then she got all obsessed

with the "cool, good-looking Kid Danger!"

- What-what she look like? Is she cute?

- She got a mom?

- You distracted my girlfriend, so now...

Prepare to eat spike!

CAPTAIN MAN: Steven! Don't be insane!

Kid Danger has hyper motility.

- Wait, what's that, some disease?

- Nooo! It's a superpower.

- It means that if he throws a Cuban zip spike at me,

I can just knock it away.

- Oh yeah? Let's see you try!

- Uh, is there a nurse in the audience?

- Could I switch seats with you?

- All right! Maybe I can't hurt Kid Danger...

or Captain Man...

...but I can hurt Danny Chest!

- You leave Danny Chest alone!

- Security! Security!

- Should we uh...? Maybe we should...

- Just jump in there? I mean we are super...

- Nah he's good. He's good. - They got it. They got it.

- No! No! I did it for my girlfriend!

I just wanted my girlfriend baaaack!!!

- Wow!

Well, you all just saw it, live, right here

on Swellview's Got Talent!

Piper Hart just saved my life!

- Danny Chest! I love you!

- What the butt happened?!?

[ oven bell ] - Mmm.