05x10 - Grand Theft Otto

[bunniefuu]

[ music ]

- Name three of America'’s founding fathers.

- King...

- Gonna stop you right there.

- I was gonna say, Martin Luther King...Junior.

- You'’re gonna fail this test.

- Correct.

- Coming in with corn!

So what'’d I miss while I was in Iowa?

- A razor?

- Oh, you're talking about my mustache.

What do you think?

- I think it'’s even worse than your chain wallet.

- My choo-choo-chain?

Love this thing.

- Henry, will you please talk some sense into your friend?

- Jasper, I do not like that mustache.

- Thank you. - I LOVE IT!

- What?! - I said, "I LOVE IT!"

Dude, when'd you grow that bad boy?

- Well if you must-ache...

- Heh, I must.

- I grew it while I was at my cousin's wedding. In Iowa.

- Dude, respect.

- Hey, are you guys messing with me right now?

- I don't know what you're talking about?

- I do not joke about facial hair.

- Hey can you guys watch my class parrot while I--

What is on your face?

- Well if you must-ache,

it's my new mustache. Like it?

- Can I be % honest here? - Thank you...

- Love the mustache. - What?!

- Love the mustache!

- Love the mustache! Love the mustache!

- Otto loves it, too!

- Where'd you get the bird?

- He's our class parrot, Otto.

It's my turn to take care of him for the weekend.

- Awww. Hey there, buddy...

My name's--AHH!

- Yeah, don't touch him. He doesn't like that.

- Don't touch him!

- So... he talks and stuff?

- Nah, he just picks up phrases

and repeats things sometimes.

- Otto, say "Sweet 'stache, Jasper."

- Sweet 'stache, Jasper. Sweet 'stache, Jasper.

- 'Kay, I gotta go grab his birdseed from my car.

I have a drivers' license. - Sent by mistake.

- Why do we have to keep saying that?

- Established.

- C'mon, let's get back to studying history.

- What? How can we study our past

when we got a talking parrot and a mustache in our present?

- Y'know...there could be a mustache in your future.

- You really think I should grow one?

- Yes! You could have a mustache as Henry Hart,

and as Kid Danger.

- Dude, if I had a mustache, then I would be Man Danger.

- I just got chills. - What?

- Hey, be quiet. - Why?

- Because I don't want Piper to walk in here

and hear you say that Henry is Kid Danger.

- Henry is Kid Danger!

Henry is Kid Danger! Henry is Kid Danger.

- See, that's what I didn't want to happen.

- It all just kinda happened.

I wanted an after-school job.

But then, an indestructible superhero

hired me to be his sidekick.

- Ahhh!

- Now we blow bubbles...

and fight crime. Feels good.

[ theme music ]

- Call it. - Up the tube!

- Aw, my boot! - Ha!

- Henry is Kid Danger! Henry is Kid Danger!

- Why did you tell Otto that I'm Kid Danger, Charlotte?

- Yeah, not a great move, Charlotte.

- I didn't mean to! I was trying to get you guys

to stop saying that Henry is Kid Danger.

- Henry is Kid Danger! Henry is Kid Danger!

- I have a problem.

- Well, I have a solution.

Sorry, Otto. Blame Charlotte. - No!

You can't k*ll Otto!

It's not his fault.

- Yeah, it's your fault.

- Yeah, that's why I said, "Blame Charlotte."

- Look, we can talk about who's fault it is later.

- Yours.

- Right now we have to deal with the fact

that Piper is about to walk in here and hear...

- Henry is Kid Danger!

- Okay, new plan, new plan. You go outside

and stall Piper for as long as you can.

- How am I supposed to do that?!

- I don't know, just tell her

that you lost your retainer

and she needs to help you find it.

- I don't have a retainer! My teeth are perfect!

- I lost my retainer last week.

Been using a paper clip. Works just as well.

- I'm not gonna say I lost my retainer.

That's a terrible excuse.

- Okay, then make up a new excuse.

Okay, I don't care Charlotte, you're the smart one.

Alright, go-go-go-go-go-go-go!

- Hey, help me bring this seed sack inside.

- You can't go inside! - Why not?

- Because...

[ sighs ] I lost my retainer.

And I need you to help me find it.

- But your teeth are perfect.

- I know! Because... I have a retainer.

Which I lost,

and now my teeth are going crazy! Ahhh!

So, you gotta help me find it right now.

- Why can't you just use a paper cli--

- Girl code. - Really?

- Girl code.

- [ sighs ] Girl code.

Help me hide Otto upstairs

until we figure something out.

- Alright, but what do we tell Piper

when she comes back and there's no Otto?

- Uh...that someone broke in and stole him!

- YES. - Wait, where are you going?

- I've got a great idea, Henry!

- Henry is Kid Danger! Henry is Kid Danger!

- Yeah I know that Otto,

so shut your dang beak! Gahhhhh!

- What was that? - I don't know

but I think I saw my retainer in those bushes!

- Ahhhhh!

- What did you just do?!

- Oh, I threw a potted plant through your door.

- Whyyyyyy?

- To make this place look like a juicy crime scene.

You're welcome.

Alright, now hit me. In the face.

- Why--Why would I hit you in the face?

- 'Cuz when the cops get here

I need them to think that I put up a fight.

They're not gonna believe that a kid

with a mustache just ran away.

- Dangit, you're right.

- Yeah I am. Now hit me. In the face.

- What was that? - Nothing, nothing.

Just keep looking for my-- - I found it.

- Found what?

- Your retainer.

- Okay, thank-- wait, what?!

- I've got it right here.

- Wow... I can't believe it.

- Put it in. - I'm sorry?

- Put in your retainer.

You said your teeth were going crazy--ahhh!

And you needed your retainer right now.

So put it in.

Girl code.

- Really? - Girl code.

- Girl code.

Okay. Heeeere...we...go...

There we go...perfect.

- Oh my... What happened?!

- I tried to stop them...

- Who? - The robbers.

- What robb-- Where's Otto?!

- They took him. But not without a fight,

which you can see from my face.

- Where's Henry?

- Oh, he got scared and ran upstairs.

- Of course he did.

- I'm gonna go check on him.

- Who are you calling?

- The cops. This is obviously a juicy crime scene.

- It is a juicy crime scene isn't it?

- Hold still. Hold still, I'm trying to get it out.

- That hurts! - It trying to do it.

Do you want it out or not? - Yes I want it out...

- Okay then just chill. - Hurry up. Go, go.

- My gosh your teeth are perfect.

- I know get a lot of compliments.

- Guys, stop kissing, we have a crisis downstairs!

- What?! - We're not kissing!

- I'm just trying to get this retainer

out of Charlotte's mouth.

- Yeah, Piper made me put it in and now it's stuck!

- Hey, my retainer case.

Where'd you guys find this?

- This is your retainer?!

- If it came from that case, then yes.

So in a way, you're kinda kissing me.

- Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.

- So where's Otto?

- Henry is Kid Danger!

[ watch beeps ]

- Hey what's up man?

We've got a little bit of a situation here--

- I heard Jasper has a mustache now. Lemme see it.

- Yeah, Jasper come here.

- Aw Captain Man that's a sweet 'stache!

- Are you kidding me? Schwoz!

I just saw Jasper's 'stache! It's sweet!

- You like?

- Yah. That is a very manly lip sweater.

- Has the whole world gone crazy?!

- Crazy for Jasper's 'stache.

You're getting a raise, buddy. - Yes!

- Look, later on we can all give some love

to Jasper's lip sweater.

- Can and will.

- But right now we got a problem, okay.

Because Piper's talking bird found out that I'm Kid Danger.

So now we're hiding it in my closet

so it doesn't tell the secret to everybody in Swellview!

- You got yourself into quite a pickle m'friend!

- Yeah, yeah, yeah... here's what I'm thinking.

Alright, I'm gonna go to a pet store.

I'm gonna find a bird that looks exactly like--

- Ehh ehh, that's stupid.

- Okay.

- What you need is a bird clone.

- What?

- Can you clone a bird? - Yah.

- He can clone a bird.

Whadda ya need? A feather? - Yah.

- He needs a feather.

- We can get a feather.

- Great. You get us a feather,

Schwoz clones a new bird

that don't know nothin' from nothin',

we k*ll the old one, swap in the new one,

badda boom badda bing,

me, Schwoz, and Jasper go to the batting cages.

- Yes! - Let'’s not k*ll the old one.

- Potahto-potato just bring us a feather.

- It'’s potato-potahto.

- Potahto-potato potato-potahto

just bring us a feather ya spicy tomahto.

- Byyyyyeeee!

- Alright, easy enough. I'll get a feather.

- Henry is Kid Danger!

- He really likes saying that.

- Yeah.

- Hi, Piper!

- Hi?

The cops are downstairs.

They want to talk to you and Henry.

- Thennnnnn we will go downstairs.

- Let's go.

- Fantastic. I'm excited.

Get a feather.

- Henry is Kid Danger!

- Did one of you just say something?

- Um I said...

"Henry kissed a stranger."

- Sure did.

- Mom told you to stop doing that.

- Okay, Otto...

you're not using all those feathers, are you?

Can I just... grab...one?

[ squawking, screaming ]

- G'ahhhh! [ squawks ]

- And then I caught the bird-thief's ninja star

in mid-air and I was gonna throw it back at him,

but I have a code. I won't k*ll.

I'm like Batman if Batman had a moustache.

- And what were you doing during all of this?

- I was...upstairs.

- Hiding? - No.

- Crying? - No!

- Just write down crying.

- Blondie was crying...

- Hey, what are you doing?

- I'm taking a bunch of all-by-my-selfies.

- All-by-my-selfies?

- Yeah. Sad pictures of me being alone

'cuz someone stole my bird.

I post 'em online and people give me attention.

- Huh. Does that work?

- Oh, heck yeah.

Look how many thoughts and prayers I've gotten.

- Wow that's a lotta T's-and-P's.

- Of course it is, look how sad I am.

- Hey, Pablo. - Sheri.

- This is our police sketch artist.

We need you and your cowardly friend

to tell him what the thief looked like.

- Oh, I don't think he got a good look at the perp.

This guy ran away pretty quickly.

- Ah ah ah ah ah.

Actually I didn't run away quickly, okay.

So uh, I actually did get a good look at the "perp."

I know exactly what "the perp" looks like.

- You do? - Yeah. I do.

- Then tell Pablo exactly what he looks like.

- Well I didn't say I knew "exactly" what he looked like.

- Oh you said "exactly."

- Did I? - With emphasis.

- Oh. Then I will describe to Pablo

exactly what he looked like.

[ pencil sharpener grinds ]

Wow. That's a lotta eye contact, Pablo...

[ screaming, squawking ]

- I got it!

- Henry is Kid Danger!

- Shut up, Otto!

Sorry for slamming the door.

- And his left eye was brown...

and his right eye... was also brown.

And that's all of the perp's face parts.

- Let's see it, Pablo.

- Is this the man who stole the bird?

- That's him. - Go get him, boys.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa who's this?

- That's my friend, Charlotte.

- Yeah, hi. Gotta go.

- Not so fast, Carla.

If that is your real name.

- It is not.

- She's good.

- A candlelight vigil is being held tonight

at a Swellview home for Otto,

Swellview Junior High's beloved class parrot.

Otto was kidnapped earlier today by this man.

- That's right, Mary.

A police department spokesperson said,

"Hey, wait. That guy looks familiar."

Let's go live at the candlelight vigil

with Brian Bender.

- Oh I know him!

He's Brian from the news,

where I work.

- Thanks, Mary.

I'm here with Piper Hart, who is sad.

- This isn't about me, Brian. It's about Otto,

and the GoFundYourself account I set up

for my pity party.

I am accepting donations now.

- That's very brave of you.

- I know.

- But good news-- police say

a specially-trained, bird-sniffing snake

is being brought right to this location

to help find Otto.

- Wait--what? - Yes...boy.

A special bird-sniffing snake is on its way,

and police say it will definitely pick up Otto's scent,

and lead them right to wherever the thief has hidden Otto.

- Oh. Okay. Great.

I will stay here, then.

- This has been Brian "The Fender" Bender

from the KLVY News team.

I'd like to give a shout out to Mary,

from the news, where I work.

- Hi.

[ phone line ringing ]

- C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, pick up, pick up,

pick up, pick up...

- Hey Henry, what's up?

- Hey, did Schwoz clone a new Otto yet?

- Hang on. Are we close?

- I think so!

- Schwoz says we're close.

- Alright well tell Schwoz to hurry up

because there's a bird-sniffing snake on its way,

and they're gonna find Otto in my closet

and everyone's gonna hear...

- The moon landing was fake!

- Hey! Wait a second, Otto stopped saying that--

- Henry is Kid Danger! - Dangit!

- Why can't you sneak Otto out of the house

before the bird-sniffing snake even gets there?

- Because my house is surrounded by people

holding up pics of candles on their phones

and donating to Piper's GoFundYourself account.

I need that new bird!

- Henry says you gotta hurry up and clone a new Otto.

- [ chuckles ]

Okay, anytime you say "hurry up and clone"

that's when the mistakes happen.

- But it's safe, right?

Like, you've cloned things before?

- Yah, I've cloned myself, bu--

I mean... I myself have cloned...

many things. That are not me.

- Schwoz did you clone yourself?

- Nnnnoooo...

- Yeah see, the way you're saying, "Nnnnnnoooo..."

makes me think you really have cloned yourself.

- Yeah, that's what I'm thinking, too.

- The long "no" makes him sound like he's lying, right?

- Oh, totally. The short "no" is always true.

The long "no" that means he's lying.

- Oh, good! The clone is done!

Everyone can move on.

- Oh wow! - Oooooh!

- He looks exactly like Otto.

- Yah, that's the point, sweetheart.

- Hey, it's exactly the same in every way?

- Mmmm, pretty much.

It just hasn't learned to say, "Henry is Kid Danger."

- Henry is Kid Danger! Henry is Kid Danger!

- Nice goin', sweetheart.

- So how long did it take you to grow that sweet 'stache?

- 'Bout four days.

- Four days? That's it?

- I was in Iowa.

- Ahh, that makes sense.

[ rock music plays ]

- Anybody here call for a bird-sniffin' snake?!

[ cheers ]

- Hey! What's the holdup?!

The bird sniffing snake is here!

- Yeah, we had a little problem with the first clone.

[ ding ]

But the new-new clone is done and we're leaving right now.

- Wait, wait. What was the problem with first clone?

- Schwoz said, "Henry is Kid Danger"

in front of it, and--

- Henry is Kid Danger! Henry is Kid Danger!

Henry is Kid Danger!

- We'll call you back.

- No, no, no, no-- don't, don't, don't, don't!

- Is this a candlelight vigil or a library?

I said...ANYBODY HERE CALL

FOR A BIRD-SNIFFING SNAKE?!

[ cheers ]

[ ding ]

- Henry is Kid Danger.

- Henry is Kid Danger. - G'ahhh!

- Nooo! - Henry is Kid Danger.

- Shut up all of you! - Henry is Kid Danger.

- Whhyyy! Why! - Henry is Kid Danger...

- Hurry up, Schwoz! Henry is freaking out!!

- I told you, when you hurry the cloning process,

that's when you get a lot of problems.

- We are out of time just give me something,

anything, that looks like a bird!

- Yeah give him a bird, Schwoz!

- Fine! He's not ready yet, but here's your bird!

- Ahhh!

- Eh, I can sell it.

[ cheering, rock music ]

- Okay, okay, stop! STOP!

- What's the problem?

- The problem is that you've been showboating

for ten minutes!

Are you gonna let the snake out so it can find Otto or not?

- Yes, I will let it out.

After the congaaaa liiiiiiiiine!!!

- Yeahhh!

- No! No conga lines!

Just use your stupid snake to find Otto!

What is wrong with you?!

- Alright people, hero comin' through!

Make a hole, make it wide!

- Ohhh, look! It's Captain Man!

- And he's got the real Otto!

- Did you find Otto?!

- I sure did, little girl! Here ya go!

- Yay--ooh. - Ooh.

- W-w... what happened to him?

It looks like he's been microwaved or something.

- Oh well, yanno...

the sickos that bird-napped him

did not treat him very well.

- Aww. - Awwww.

- But when I found those people,

I beat 'em up!

[ cheers]

I mean I really did a number on 'em!

Otto's back people!

[ crowd chanting ] Otto! Otto!

- Captain Man! Captain Man!

[ crowd chanting ] Captain Man! Captain Man!

- There you go.

Told ya I could sell it. - Yep.

- Henry is Kid Danger. - Henry is Kid Danger.

- Welcome back to "Cooking With Accents!"

Susan is preparing an ambitious bake

with ginger bread and cardamom.

Let's hear what the judges have to say.

- Henry is Kid Danger. - Henry is Danger...

- The birds are too loud I can't hear the judges!

- Yah! Or their funny accents!

- Jasper, will you turn up the volume?

- Good idea. - I got a better idea.

Let's turn the volume down on the birds.

Permanently. - NO!

- Ahhh!

- Are you okay? - You zapped Jasper in the face.

- Charlotte's fault. - It was Ray's fault.

- You shot off my mustache!

- Noooooooooo!

- It was an accident. Charlotte hit my zapper!

- What were you thinking?!

- You know, at least the birds shut up.

- At least the birds shut up.

- At least the birds shut up.

At least the birds shut up. At least the birds shut up.

- No, no!

At least the birds shut up. At least the birds shut up.

At least the birds shut up.

- Gimme, ahhh!

- Ahhh!

- At least the birds shut up. At least the birds shut up...