02x35 - US pennies

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[cheers and applause]

Welcome, welcome, welcome
to "Last Week Tonight"!

I'm John Oliver.

Thank you so much
for joining us.

And we begin tonight
with a story

that has dominated
the news all week--

the horrific
terror att*cks in France.

Now, one of the big
developments of this week

was the fact
that the ringleader

Abdelhamid Abaaoud
was k*lled on Wednesday,

and his death was welcomed
by pretty much everyone.

Man:
"The New York Times" reports

when his family heard that he'd
possibly been k*lled last year,

Abaaoud's own sister said,
they prayed he was dead.

Holy shit.

Even his own family
had prayed for his death,

which is absolutely
understandable,

but it's also the darkest
tale of a family's

homicidal tendencies
towards one of their own

since the "Home Alone" movies.

Yeah, oh, you really think
the McCallisters

left Kevin behind
by accident twice?

No, they wanted that little shit
out of the picture.

Open your eyes.
The McCallisters were murderers.

Now as for the people
of France themselves,

they have spent the week
trying to resume

something resembling
daily life--

an effort led by their president
Francois Hollande.

[speaking French]

Translator:
Life must resume in full.

What would our country be
without its cafés,

concerts, sporting events
and museums?

Oh, I can tell you
what France would be like

without all these
cultural institutions.

It would be Luxembourg,
and nobody wants that.

Did you know
that if you Google

"interesting Luxembourg facts,"

the result is
just a page that says,

"No"?

Now-- now to their credit,
many French people

have embraced this idea
of returning to normal life.

And I think
the most reassuring sign

that they're getting
back to being their
quintessential selves

was how they behaved
at a concert just a few days
after the att*cks,

when someone tried
to stage-dive.

[speaking French]

There is the Paris
we know and love--

a city of people so aloof,
they wouldn't lift a finger

to catch one of their own
airborne pop stars.

[in French accent]
"I do not care for--
how you say?

"Crowd surfing.

"Such a crass spectacle
betrays nothing

"but a poverty
of intimacy, non?

Beauf."

A French TV show actually
took that video out

and showed it
to people in the street,

and their response
was fantastic.

[speaking French]

You know, to me,
that is the best sign

that France is
going to be okay.

It's sort of like
how New Yorkers knew

this city was going to bounce
back after 9/11

the first time a heavyset man
in a Jets visor

stole a cab from them
and told them to go
f*ck themselves.

That is what healing
looks like.

Meanwhile,
here in the US,

the Paris attackers touched off

a ferocious debate
about Syrian refugees.

You may remember
President Obama had pledged

to accept at least 10,000
over the next year,

but after news broke
that one of the attackers

may have posed as a refugee
and entered Europe

through Greece
with a fake Syrian passport,

many US officials
had second thoughts.

Woman:


are refusing or suspending

the resettlement of Syrian
refugees into their states.

Okay, that's pretty extreme,

but it's also pretty meaningless

for two reasons:
One, governors don't have

the legal authority
to ban refugees.

And two,
even if they could,

Syrians can just walk
between states like anyone else.

The lines on maps are not
crocodile-filled moats.

Presidential candidates
also got involved

with this anti-refugee rhetoric.

Donald Trump, Ben Carson
and Marco Rubio

called for a halt to all Syrian
refugees entering the country,

and others, like Ted Cruz
and Jeb Bush, argued

we could take some
if they were Christian.

And if you're wondering
how that would work,

let Jeb Bush explain.

Well, you're Christian--
I mean, you can prove
you're a Christian.

How?

I think you can
prove it.

Eh. Eh.

I think you can prove it.

I'm pretty sure
you can prove it.
I'll tell you how.

You see, a Christian
has ears that protrude
out from the head,

whereas non-Christians
lack external ears altogether.

You know what? Hold on.
I'm thinking about seals
and sea lions.

I often get them confused.

Forget everything I said
about Christians and Muslims.

I don't know
what I'm talking about.

And it was not just Republicans.

The Democratic mayor
of Roanoke, Virginia,

David Bowers, was so terrified
of Syrian refugees,

he used the worst possible

historical example
to prove his point.

Mayor David Bowers wrote,
"I'm reminded

"that President
Franklin D. Roosevelt
felt compelled

"to sequester Japanese
foreign nationals

"after the bombing
of Pearl Harbor.

"It appears the threat of harm
to America from !sis now

"is just as real and serious

as that
from our enemies then."

Wow.

Did he not realize that
Japanese internment camps

are one of this nation's
greatest sources of shame?

It's one of the parts
of FDR's legacy

his family would most
like you to forget.

And bear in mind,
this is a man

whose own biopic
featured a scene

of him getting a hand job
from his distant cousin.

[jazz music playing]

Did I have to show
you that? No.

Did I want to?
Absolutely, I did.

But this week's events
actually call to mind

a chapter from FDR's
time in office

that is even more shameful
than the saddest

and classiest hand job
of all time,

specifically, when in 1939

US authorities
turned away a ship

containing more than 900
mostly Jewish refugees
from Germany--

something American
newsreels at the time

tried to put a positive spin on.

Man:
without a country

permitted to land in Belgium

after five weeks
of suspense afloat.

Through American generosity,

they will find at least
temporary shelter

in France, Holland,
and England.

Yes, we sent a boat of Jews

back to Europe in 1939.

More than a quarter of them
then died in the w*r.

So this Thanksgiving,
when your grandmother's
complaining

about your new piercings,
saying your generation
is terrible,

simply reply,
"Okay, Nana, but at least

we didn't send Jews
back to Europe in 1939."

Then break off
a turkey leg, drop it
like a microphone,

and you've just won
the dinner.

Dinner over.
[laughter and applause]

Although, let's be honest here,

every generation has had

its own ugly reaction
to refugees,

whether they are the Irish,
the Vietnamese,

the Cubans or the Haitians.

And those fears have been
broadly unfounded.

In fact,
there was only one time
in American history

when the fear of refugees
wiping everyone out

did actually come true,
and we'll all be sitting
around the table

celebrating it on Thursday.

And look, it is
absolutely fair--

it's fair to be concerned

about safety
in the wake of these att*cks.

And it's fair to wonder
who we're letting in

and what sort
of screening system
is in place.

Unfortunately,
many of the people talking
about it this week

don't seem to have
the first idea
of what we're doing.

Do we know
who these people are? No.

Are they properly vetted?
No.

How do you vet them?

There's no possible way
to vet them.

There's virtually no vetting,
'cause there are no databases
in Syria.

There are no
government records.

We don't know
who these people are.

Look, it is difficult

to vet people
coming out of a w*r zone,

but it's not like we're
just letting anyone in.

We are the United States
of America,

not Arizona State.
[laughter and applause]

Because,
just for the record here,

let me walk you through
what our screening process
actually is.

If you're a refugee,
first you apply

through the United Nations
High Commissioner for Refugees,

which collects documents
and performs interviews.

Incidentally, less than
one percent of refugees
worldwide

end up being recommended
for resettlement.

But if you're one of them,
you may then be referred

to the State Department,
to begin the vetting process.

At this point,
more information is collected.

You'll be put through
security screenings

by the National
Counterterrorism Center,

the FBI, and the Department
of Homeland Security.

And if you're
a Syrian refugee,

you'll get an additional
layer of screening

called the Syria
Enhanced Review,
which may include

a further check
by a special part
of Homeland Security--

the USCIS Fraud Detection
and National Security
Directorate.

And don't relax yet, 'cause
we've barely even started.

Then you finally get
an interview with USCIS officers

and you'll also be
fingerprinted, so your
prints can be run

through the biometric
databases of the FBI,

the Department
of Homeland Security,
and the Department of Defense.

And if you make it through
all that, you'll then have
health screenings,

which, let's face it,
may not go too well
for you,

'cause you may have
given yourself a stroke

getting through this
process so far.

But if everything
comes back clear,

you'll be enrolled
in cultural orientation classes,

all while your information
continues to be checked

recurrently against
t*rror1st databases

to make sure that
no new information comes in
that wasn't caught before.

All of that has to happen
before you get near a plane.

This process typically
takes 18 to 24 months

once you've been referred
by the UN to the United States.

This is the most
rigorous vetting

anyone has to face
before entering this country.

No t*rror1st in their right mind
would choose this path

when the visa process
requires far less effort.

But nevertheless, the House
still voted on Thursday

to add a few more steps.

Man:
The House voted 289 to 137

for tougher
screening procedures,

requiring the FBI director

to sign off on each
and every refugee.

He signs off on--
That is ridiculous.

At this point,
why don't we just include
a pie eating contest,

a spelling bee
and an evening wear portion?

But the really hard
truth here is

no one can promise
that someone dangerous

still might not slip through.

And while that risk
should not be denied,

it also should not be
wildly inflated.

Let me ask this.
If you bought a five-pound
bag of peanuts,

and you knew that in
the five-pound bag of peanuts,

there were about 10 peanuts

that were deadly
poisonous, would you

feed them to your kids?
The answer is no.

Yeah, of course it's no.

For a start, you should give
your kids an actual meal,

not a handful of peanuts,
because they're human children,

not circus elephants.
But second,

we wanted to do the math
on what he just said,

so we bought
five pounds of peanuts
and we counted them.

There are about


So if 10 of them are
poisoned, Mike Huckabee
is essentially suggesting

that about one
of every 100 refugees
is a t*rror1st.

But in reality,
of the more than


admitted to the US
since 9/11,

only three have been
arrested for planning
t*rror1st activities,

none of which,
by the way, resulted
in att*cks here.

So the actual
known ratio

of arrested terror suspects
to refugees

is not one in 100.

It's one in roughly 261,000.

Peanuts themselves have k*lled

far more people
in the last decade

than t*rror1st refugees.
[laughter and applause]

Oh, I'll go one step further.

Men named Mike

have k*lled more people
than t*rror1st refugees.

And I don't see us
rounding all of them up.

And that's kind of the point,

'cause, as reasonable
adults, we accept

tiny amounts of risk baked
into our everyday lives.

We drive cars despite knowing

around 30,000 of us
die in them each year.

We go swimming
despite the fact


die from drowning.


are k*lled by cows,

but no one is saying
we should expel

all cows from the country.

We're happy just
taking them out
one at a time, thinking,

"Well, we got them
before they got us."

This is what freedom
tastes like.

Any rational person knows,

you cannot completely
eliminate risk.

You can only manage it.
And we do it with peanuts

and cars and swimming
and hamburgers

and men named Mike,

'cause we rightly think
that they're worth the risk.

And I would argue,
for the tremendous good
we could do

and the low level
of risk involved,

refugees are worth it too.

And you may disagree,
but it is worth noting

that as we devise
new ways to close
our doors this week,

France, which had just
suffered a terror attack

and has far less ability
to police its borders,
did this.

Man:
French President
Francois Hollande says

France will still welcome
refugees into the country

despite the Paris m*ssacre.
[studio audience applauds]

Speaking at a gathering
of the nation's mayors,

he said France will keep
its commitment

to take in 30,000 refugees
over the next two years.

Hollande added
that France will remain
a country of freedom.

Yeah, because they think
it's worth the risk.

And it's frankly not ideal
that Francois Hollande--

a man who broke up
with his partner of 30 years

in order to shack up
with a lover

who looks exactly like her,
just 10 years younger,

only to quickly leave
that lover for another lover

who looks exactly like
the second lover,

just 10 years
younger again--

that man is currently
functioning

as an effective moral compass
for our politicians.

And now this.

Announcer:

Here you have a little
condiment package.

Here you have a bun

with a--
something in between.

And then you have
a half of fruit

over on the other side.

This administration
has been dangerously
incompetent

in providing
homeland security.

I have a couple
of sh*ts here

from this very same well,

where I gave
a very similar speech.

"Don't tax me to pay for
health care that you guys want."

Geraldo Rivera
and Ted Koppel.

A large, orange,
slovenly, lazy cat.

Justin Bieber
and Selena Gomez.

Steak,

vodka.

President Ronald Reagan.

We have Christmastime
and we have socks.

It's a snowball.

It's a catfish.

US jobs.

This is the Pac-Man.

Chicken noodle soup.

[cheering and applause]
Moving on...

Just so you know,

this is our final show
of the year.

And after all the big,
intractable topics we've
taken on this season,

we thought it might be nice
to go out

on a problem
that's not just tidy

but also totally fixable--

the penny,
once again on the cover

of this month's
"Infant Swallowables" magazine.

The US Mint produces

around eight billion
new pennies every single year,

which is strange,
considering pennies are
currently worth so little,

they're not even worth
what they're worth.

Man:
According to the government,
each new penny

now costs roughly


rendering each a loss
from the start.

It's true-- 1.7 cents
to make one cent.

That really makes the phrase,

"You have to spend money
to make money,"

ring painfully true.

So we spend around
$136 million a year

making $80 million
worth of currency

that, let's face it,
no one really uses.

One study found that
two-thirds of pennies
don't circulate.

And yet the penny
hangs around for no reason,

like the appendix

or the new "Muppets"
TV show.

How is this still on?

And how did someone
somewhere think,

"You know what the problem
with 'The Muppets' is?

"Kermit doesn't f*ck
enough pigs.

"Let's have him f*ck
a different pig.

Let's do that.
Let's all do that."

In fact, a few years back,
a local station in New York

sent out a camera crew
to put the penny to the test.

Man:
I performed a little experiment
on the street today--

dumped 150 pennies
onto the sidewalk

and just watched--
who would pick them up?

People saw the pennies,
like this woman,
but kept walking.

After 25 minutes,
not one person bent down.

Think about that.

A penny is actual
US currency,

and yet the prospect
of the free one on the ground

is treated like a free copy
of Kirstie Alley's memoir

resting in a used diaper.

And if you're thinking,
"Well, come on, John,

that's just one instance,"
no, it's not.

A few years later,
a San Francisco news crew

ran the exact same experiment.

Man:
It's your lucky day--
Abe Lincoln,

face-up on the sidewalk.
Better move quick.

He'll be gone
any second, right?

You don't want them?
No.

What?

Throwing pennies
on the ground

is essentially catnip
to local news crews.

"Hey, did an old woman
celebrate a birthday?"
"No."

"Okay, did an animal
do something funny?"
"No."

"Okay, get me a handful
of pennies and a camera.

"I'm getting us to the 10:30
repeat of 'Friends.'

Who wants a penny?"

But our indifference to pennies

doesn't stop there.
In a 2002 Gallup poll

two percent of Americans
admitted to regularly throwing

pennies in the garbage,

which means the US Mint

is spending millions
to make garbage.

And that's not their job.

That's M. Night
Shyamalan's job.

[cheering and applause]
And while--

And when we're not
throwing pennies in the garbage,

we're doing even
worse things with them,

as attested to
by a Reddit thread titled

"I put a penny in my butt

and now I can't get it out."

And, before you ask,
apparently the reason
they did it was,

and I quote,
"I wanted to know
what it would feel like

"to put a cold penny
up my butt.

[I put it in the fridge
for like... 2-3 hours.]"

First, a little-known fact.

That's actually how
Daniel Day Lewis

prepared to play
Abraham Lincoln.

And incidentally,
and this is also true,

that penny is currently
in your pocket.

And it's not just hard
to carry pennies around.

It can be hard to spend them.

According
to the Treasury Department,

private businesses are free

to prohibit payment in pennies.

And some of them
have caught on to this.

Man:
At a growing number
of businesses,

including Mike's Bikes
in San Rafael,

pennies have fallen
from favor.

Now at Mike's, every
cash transaction rounds down

to the nearest nickel
in a customer's favor.

Their reaction has been

overwhelmingly
underwhelming.

Whatever is easier.
I don't care.

Am I helping?

[laughter]

I'm pretty sure,
we just found the man

who gives the least amount
of shits in American history.

Someone out there
needs to meme

this beautiful man,
and do it now.

In fact-- in fact,
as far as I can tell,

there are only two things
pennies are genuinely good for.

One-- you can throw
a penny in a fountain
to make a wish.

But at its current value,

no fountain is
granting you a wish,

unless it's incredibly small,

like, "I wish somewhere
in the world a mouse has
a good day,"

or, "I wish I knew
what a penny looked like
underwater."

The only other option is

use pennies out of pure spite,

like this UNC-Charlotte student
did with a parking fine.

Man:
Coyle went to three
different banks

to get five $25 boxes
containing 2500 pennies.

That got him to reach
his total of 11,000.

Coyle:
And I brought them in three
separate buckets for them.

Man:
He sat there while two workers

counted every single penny.

It took them approximately
three hours and 40 minutes.

Wow, that college kid
sure taught those two employees

who had nothing to do
with the policy he was
protesting a lesson.

I bet the school gave him
his own parking spot after that.

And it is worth noting,

pennies don't just
waste our time.

Having them
hanging around

can sometimes be
downright dangerous.

Woman:
Jack is a voracious eater,
says his owner Tim Kelleher.

Kelleher:
This is how it happened.
He jumped up on the desk

trying to get something,
and he chewed through the bag

and he knocked the box over
and pennies were everywhere.

And he licked up the pennies
and he licked up 111 of them.

Holy shit.



At that point, that dog
had more Lincoln in him
than Mary Todd.

[audience exclaiming,
laughing]

And by the way,
and this is also true,

one of the pennies
inside that dog is
in your pocket right now.

So why haven't
we gotten rid of the penny?

Well, one reason,
believe it or not, is that
there is a penny lobby.

And at the forefront is
a terribly named group

called "Americans
for Common Cents,"

whose spokesman has some
pretty unconvincing arguments.

Americans overwhelmingly
want to keep the penny.

And no one has explained
how we would replace

the millions of dollars
that are raised by charities

and charity drives
every year if we didn't
have the penny around.

Wait, so his argument is
no one would give to charity

if they couldn't give something
basically worthless,

which is a pretty cynical
view of humanity.

I'll be honest,
I don't think much of people,

but even I have to believe
they'd be willing

to break out a f*cking nickel.

And you might want
to take his argument

with a grain of salt,
given his group's backers.

Morley Safer:
Weller is a lobbyist
for Jarden Zinc,

the Tennessee company

that sells those
little blank discs

for the Mint to turn
into Lincoln pennies.

So they're in the pocket
of Big Zinc.

And if not for the penny,
what are they supposed to do

with all those blank zinc discs?

Hold a mini Olympic discus
throwing competition

starring hamsters
from around the globe?

Yes, that's clearly
exactly what they should do.

But even that zinc company

doesn't seem to care
that much about pennies.

So far this year,
they've only spent

around $140,000
lobbying on it,

which isn't much,
considering that
Jarden Corporation,

their parent company,
is a $10-billion business.

The penny contract
is nothing to them,

next to the money
that they make
from products like,

and this is true,
Yankee Candle,

Crock-Pots,
and class rings.

Essentially,
Jarden makes anything

that you would
find left behind
after a burglary.

[laughter]
But--

but there is--
there is actually

one more staunch
defender of the penny--
Lincoln enthusiasts.

Man:
As the Lincoln Library
told us,

they'll fight
for the Lincoln penny

right down to the last cent.

Yeah, but why?

Lincoln doesn't need
the penny for notoriety.

He's everywhere.
We've put him on
novelty bandages,

cup-and-ball games
and creepy Chia pets.

And you know where else
we put him?

The five-dollar bill--

you know, the thing
that's worth


than the penny.

And if you're thinking,
"Well, maybe we could
make the penny

out of something cheaper,"
we can't.

The US Mint admitted
that "there are

"no alternative
metal compositions

"that reduce
the manufacturing
cost of the penny

below its face value."
Essentially,

there is no cheaper way
to make a penny,

'cause there is
no other substance
that is so worthless

without making them out of
DVDs of "The Cosby Show."

[groaning, applause]
And we don't want to--

We don't want to do that.
We don't want to do that.

And if we wanted
to get rid of the penny,

we could do it.
Canada, Australia,

Ireland, New Zealand
and many others

have all done so
in recent years.

It wouldn't even be
the first time the US
got rid of a coin.

We used to have a halfpenny,

and guess when
we got rid of it.

Man:
The halfpenny was dropped

at 1857, because inflation

had rendered
its buying power obsolete.

They knew
it didn't make sense

to keep a currency
that had no value,

and that was back in 1857,

when people were
scared of the moon

and wiped their asses
with rocks.

So come on,

let's dump the penny,

not 'cause we need to,
not 'cause it will change
a great deal,

but because there are
certain things

we know are impossible
to get rid of--

terrorism, herpes

and Guy Fieri.

But the penny
is a nuisance

we could actually
do something about.

So let's do it, America.

Let's get the penny
out of our pockets,

out of our dogs,
out of our fridges

and out of our asses.
We can do this!

[cheering and applause]

And now this.

Announcer:

Man:
"Shock Yourself Happy,"

tonight on CBS2 News at 11:00.

"Barcode Bandits,"
tonight at 11:00.

"Women are
Shaving Their Faces,"
tonight at 11:00.

"New Age Networking.
The Kava Craze."

"Secret Lives
of Suburban Wives."

"Mirrored Pain."
"Virtual Kidnapping."

"The ATM Panic Button."
"Shaming Your Name."

"The Anger Room,"
tonight at 11:00.

"Scalp Botox,"
tonight at 11:00.

"The Vampire Facial,"
tonight at 11:00.

"Younger Hands,"
tonight at 11:00.

"Viagra for Kids,"
tonight at 11:00.

"Long Distance Chicken,"

tonight on CBS2 News
at 11:00.

[cheering and applause]

And finally tonight,

this is-- this is
our final show of the year

and we just wanted
to take a moment to say

thank you
so much for watching.
We've had such a fun year.

And we made a sex ed video.

We created mascots
for government agencies.

Dueted with both Kenny G
and Michael Bolton.

I sat down
with Edward Snowden

in the most terrifying


of my entire life.

We replaced
the Marlboro Man

with Jeff the Diseased Lung
in a Cowboy Hat.

And we managed to get him
onto billboards in Uruguay,

T-shirts in Togo,

and, thanks to you,
a top spot

when you Google
image search "Marlboro"

on the Internet.
I can--

I can only imagine
they're so pleased with that.

We got into a spat
with the president of Ecuador

who called this show "more
unpleasant than a diuretic,"

as well as with former
FIFA vice president Jack Warner,

which culminated
in us buying time
on Trinidadian television

and nearly setting fire
to the set.

You have no idea
how true that is.

I also drank
a whole Bud Light Lime

to celebrate
Sepp Blatter's downfall,

which, for the record,
tasted like unflushed
toilet water

after margarita night
at a frat house.

Oh, and I nearly forgot.
We founded a church--

a church.
[cheering and applause]

Our Lady
of Perpetual Exemption,

which raised nearly $70,000

and five cups
of human sperm.

Praise be.
Praise be.

Praise be unto sperm.

It has been quite a year, so
thank you so much for watching.

And what more disgusting
way to say goodbye

than by sipping on a
room-temperature Bud Light Lime?

Cheers.
[cheers, applause]

Repellent.

It takes like a lacrosse
player's night sweats.

There are so many people
I have to thank.

First, I have to thank
my wife--

specifically,
Wanda Jo Oliver.

Wanda Jo, my darling,

thank you so much
for being here.

Wanda Jo, since
the church has disbanded,
how have you been?

Oh, my John,

I have been
deep in prayer
with our accountants,

studying the scriptures
of US tax codes.

Praise loopholes.

Praise them.
Praise unto loopholes.

Praise unto them,
Wanda Jo.

Yes, and praise

the holy relics
of our church...

Of course.
Specifically, this...

Ah, behold.
...three-foot wooden penis

and this bag of seed.
Praise seed!

Praise it. Praise it.
Praise seed.

Now, Wanda...
Praise seed.

Wanda, I have to ask,
just for the record--

we actually took
people's money

after making them
unsubstantiated promises

about wealth
coming their way.

Did we get
into any trouble
whatsoever for that?

Well, my John,
does this answer
your question?

It answers it
pretty good.
Whoo-hoo!

Praise be.
I'm gonna make it rain.

Praise be.
Make it rain.

Thank you so much,
my darling Wanda.

I would like to thank
our entire staff and crew,

including, of course,
Janice from accounting,

who has worked hard,
so hard all year.

Janice, have you had fun
this year?

Ouch. Okay.

Is that my favorite
coffee cup, Janice?

Wow, Janice don't give
a f*ck.

Oh, and before we leave,
someone else wanted
to say goodbye.

It's Jeff the Diseased Lung
in a Cowboy Hat.

How are you doing, Jeff?

[coughing]

Oh, Jeff's not
doing well.

In fact, he's doing
objectively terribly.

And now, to play us out
for the year,

please welcome the band
responsible for our
theme song,

Valley Lodge!

And with them, a few
of our government mascots--

Stunk the Steampunk Skunk,

Cornelius
the Illuminati Pyramid,

and Creepy Baby
with Hulk Hands in a Tutu!

Thank you so much
for watching!

We'll be back in February!
Goodbye!

♪ My heart, my soul,
I'm begging you for more ♪

♪ I'm on my knees,
baby, please ♪

♪ Can I drink
from your loving cup? ♪

♪ I'm too scared to say
that I love you ♪

♪ But I know
I gotta see you tonight ♪

♪ Odori ga sugoku
umai des ne , baby ♪

♪ Oh, koko osawate,
oh, come on, pretty lady ♪

♪ Odori ga sugoku
umai des ne , baby ♪

♪ Do you got a little love
in your heart heart heart? ♪

♪ Go, tell me
what I want to hear ♪

♪ Tell me
that I'm beautiful... ♪