03x09 - Lead poisoning

[bunniefuu]

[TV static drones]

[bright tone]

[upbeat rock music]

♪

[cheers and applause]

- Welcome, welcome, welcome
to "Last Week Tonight."

I'm John Oliver.

Thank you so much
for joining us.

Just time for a quick
recap of the week.

And we begin in Russia,

the real borscht belt.

Russia this week held
a beloved annual tradition.

woman:
Vladimir Putin is hosting

his annual call-in show
right now.

He's facing questions--
more than 2 million of them

were submitted--
on everything from Syria

to the Russian economy.

- Yes, Vladimir Putin took
questions for nearly four hours

on TV, and, look, we can all
think of a few questions

we'd like to ask him, like,
"Have you ever blinked?"

And, "Do you
consider yourself more

of a Miranda or a Charlotte?"

But--

but the actual questions
and answers were truly amazing,

such as when we was asked who he
would save from drowning first,

the president of Turkey
or the president of Ukraine.

- If someone
is determined to drown,

you can't save them.

[applause]

[laughter]

- Wow.

I think we can take from that
response that Vladimir Putin

would be the world's
worst lifeguard.

"You have chosen
to drown, my friend.

For you,
there is nothing I can do."

Putin also answered questions
submitted by children,

like this one
from an 11-year-old girl.

- What three wishes
would you--would you make

if you were to catch a
wish-delivering magic goldfish?

- Oh, okay,
the magic goldfish question.

That should be easy.

For your three wishes,
you just pick

ice cream forever,
invisibility,

and then unlimited wishes.

Easy.

But--but Putin went
a very different way.

- Okay, three wishes...

I have to think.

You know, basically,
we shouldn't really

rely on, uh...

miracles.

You know, even during
the Soviet period,

we had this song,

"Nobody will help us...

"either a king nor a hero.

We have to do
everything ourselves."

- Okay,
two things there:

first, we all had that song.

It's called "The Collected Works
of Bruce Springsteen."

And second:

this is the most amazing
TV show ever.

They should put this on
much more often,

because I would watch
Vladimir Putin

crushing children's dreams
every week.

This week on "Putin Says
the Darndest Things,"

Putin tells a child
his grandfather isn't watching

from above but is, rather,
rotting in the ground.

But for now,
let's move on to the U.K.,

where 2,000 years of
civilization led to this face.

Last week--

last week,
we discussed the fact--

It's--it's hurtful
when you clap that.

Last week, we discussed
the fact that David Cameron

was revealed to have
a family connection

to an offshore company
in the Panama Papers.

He faced questions
in Parliament this week,

and one member, Dennis Skinner,
brought up a conversation

that they'd had years ago
concerning Cameron's finances,

and he closed with an expl*sive
piece of name-calling.

- I didn't receive
a proper answer then.

Maybe Dodgy Dave
will answer it now!

- Oh, shit!

"Dodgy Dave"!

Cameron just got burned.

Or as we say in England, boiled
for too long and served anyway.

Now, that comment set off
a spectacular chain of events.

First, the Commons Speaker,
John Bercow,

tried to calm everything down

in a quintessentially
English manner.

- O-o-order!

Order.
Order.

Order!

Order.

I must ask the honorable
gentleman--order.

I don't require any assistance
from some Junior Minister!

An absurd proposition!

- That--that is

the absolute height
of Englishness:

yelling at everyone
to be orderly

and then condescendingly
mocking their status.

He then demanded that Skinner
rephrase his remarks.

- I can't reasonably ask
the prime minister

to answer the question.

All he has to do is withdraw
that word and think of another.

- [unintelligible]
Bercow: Sorry?

Sorry?

[unintelligible chatter]

- I think he knows the word
beginning with D

and ending in Y
that he inappropriately used.

- Now, if I were Skinner there,

I would have spent
the rest of the session

just guessing words
that started with a D

and ended with a Y.

Is it "dinghy"?
No?

"Dignity"?
No?

"Deadly"?
No?

"Dillydally"?

Hold on,
let me get a dictionary.

Oh, is it "dictionary"?

[laughter and applause]
But--

but Skinner refused, which led
to this amazing moment.

- I order the honorable member
to withdraw immediately

from the House for the remainder
of this day's sitting.

men: Hear, hear.

man: He's used to this.

[unintelligible shouting]

- And that,
ladies and gentlemen,

is English politics
in a nutshell.

An 84-year-old man
just got sent from the room

like a naughty child
who just called his sister

a "shithead" at dinner.

I am so proud.

And finally this week, Turkey:

a country, a bird,
and the meanest thing

you could call someone
in 1956.

This week, Turkey's leader,
Recep Tayyip Erdogan,

caused a big stir in Germany.

- Chancellor Angela Merkel
has accepted a request

to prosecute a comedian who
mocked the Turkish president

on German television.

- Now, Erdogan had said that
he wanted to take legal action

against this comedian because
this comedian read a poem on air

that made very, very strong
remarks against Erdogan.

- He wants to lock someone up
over a poem!

Why doesn't he just do what
the rest of us do about poetry:

listen to it politely
because it's how Sarah

has chosen to cope
with the divorce.

[laughter]

If--if you are wondering
how on Earth an insulting poem

can be against the law,
it turns out Erdogan may have

dug up a 19th-century
German law stating,

"anyone who is guilty
of an insult to a sovereign

or regent of a state shall be
punished by imprisonment."

And for the record,
let me just say,

I'm very glad America
does not have a similar law,

or I would be in a maximum
security prison right now,

and I would not thrive there.

But Angela Merkel is in a bit
of a bind here because, clearly,

this is a free speech issue.

But the problem is, Erdogan
is critical to Europe's plan

for processing migrants
and refugees.

And it seems he has
an incredibly thin skin.

- For Recep Tayyip Erdogan,

satire is no laughing matter.

Since he became
president in 2014,

almost 2,000 cases have opened
for insulting the president.

- It's true.

Nearly 2,000 legal cases
have been opened

since he took office.

That's more than three a day.

And some of these cases
have been unbelievably petty.

In October, a physician
lost his job and now faces

a two-year prison sentence
for sharing a meme

suggesting Erdogan's facial
expressions resemble Gollum's,

which, by the way,
they just do!

That's not a criticism.

It's not even a joke.

It's just a biological fact!

And last April,
a journalist received

a suspended prison sentence
simply for liking

a Facebook post
that insulted Erdogan.

And liking something
on Facebook

should never be a crime,

unless maybe you like

a coworker's beach photo
at 3:00 a.m.

That is the one exception,
because that is creepy.

And look, Erdogan
is the one at fault here.

He makes it way too easy
to make fun of him.

For example, in 2014, he gave an
interview in which he said this.

- You can see that what
Israel does to Palestine,

to Gaza right now, has surpassed
what Hitler did to them.

- Holy shit!

That is very offensive
to Israel,

and, honestly, it's a little
offensive to Hitler,

who has to be thinking,
"Are you f*cking kidding me?

What do I have to do?"

And that same year, he caused a
bit of a stir with this remark.

- You cannot bring women
and men into equal positions.

That is against nature.

- Now, that statement
is bad enough, but he said it

at an international conference
for women.

The only way
that could have been any worse

is if he'd then said,
"But that's enough of me.

"Everybody please welcome
Grammy-winning recording artist

"Chris Brown!

You're welcome, ladies.
Chris Brown!"

And when Erdogan tried to
smooth things over after that,

it didn't go so great.

woman: Erdogan did try
to offer a compliment of sorts.

He says he used
to kiss his mother's feet

because they
smelled of paradise.

- Ooh.
Oh.

Even at an international
foot fetishist convention,

the sentence, "My mom's feet
smell like paradise,"

is gonna get you
some weird looks.

Look, Erdogan is clearly not
a pleasant individual,

which is why it's so hard to be
sympathetic when you see this

actual footage of him
having his balls

stomped on by a horse.

Now, we've shown you
that footage before,

and we'll probably
show you it again.

Because the point is, Erdogan,
if you are so anxious

not to be mocked,
try not suppressing speech

in your country and others
and generally acting

in ways that make everyone
want to see you

get kicked in the balls.

And now this.

[cheers and applause]
- Moving on.

Our main--our main topic
tonight is lead,

the most dangerous thing
in Led Zeppelin's name.

And I will remind you,

the other thing was "Zeppelin."

Now, we've heard a lot
about lead over the last year

due to the horrific events
in Flint, Michigan.

woman: Flint's tap water
was laced

with dangerous levels of lead.

The state knew about it
and did nothing.

man: There are 200 children
under the age of six

in Flint
with elevated blood levels.


have been exposed.

- Yes, Flint has become
a city whose very name

evokes disaster,
like Benghazi or Waco

or Smurf Village.

Never forget.

Never forget
what happened there.

Never forget.

Flint was a perfect storm
of incompetence

from start to finish.

And the crisis began when
the city switched water sources,

a decision which was
commemorated thusly.

men:
Three, two, one...

- Here's to Flint!

- Here's to Flint.
- Hear, hear!

- It's a little weird
to see people make a toast

as they essentially
drink poison,

because under those
circumstances,

you'd usually expect to hear
something like,

"I'll see you all in hell,"

or, "The mother ship is coming,

and soon we will all ascend!"

That new water source
corroded the city's pipes

and leached lead
into the drinking water.

And with all the bureaucratic
clusterfuckery involved,

politicians in Washington
were lining up

to be vocally outraged.

- We've got children
that have been harmed,

and yet we're sitting here
equivocating over words

that may or may not
establish blame.

- The safety and well-being
of our citizens

is not a Republican
or a Democrat

or an Independent issue.

It's a human issue.

- We're not
some third world country

where you get 100,000 people
who get poisoned--

poisoned--

for long periods of time.

- That's right,
because there is only one poison

that thousands of Americans
should consume,

and that is
Mountain Dew Code Red.

Code Red:

the most delicious way
of contracting red poisoning!

[cheers and applause]

[coughs]

That is horrific.

So we all care about lead
in Flint now, which is great.

Unfortunately, the problem
is not just in Flint.

A "USA Today" network report
found lead contamination

in almost 2,000 additional water
systems spanning all 50 states.

And we can't just act
like it's not there,

the way we all pretend
that the public swimming pool

is not 3% child urine.

That's generous,
by the way.

And if you're thinking,
"Well, we should just rip out

every lead pipe in the country,"

it's not quite as easy as that.

There are an estimated


around the country,
and we don't even know

where many of them are.

And if we did a partial
solution, that could increase

rather than decrease
lead in water.

But perhaps,
more importantly,

even if we did replace
all lead pipes,

that still wouldn't come close
to stopping lead poisoning,

as one lead activist
reassuringly puts it.

- Kids are not gonna
get poisoned

from a water fountain
at their school.

They're not.

They're gonna get poisoned
from paint in their homes.

- [laughing]
Okay.

I like how that starts off
sounding reassuring

but ends up
even more terrifying.

It's like saying,
"Look, that boa constrictor

"isn't gonna bite you.

"It's not.
It's just not.

"It's gonna crush you
to death with its body

and then swallow you whole,
because that's what it does."

But she is right.

The biggest threat
of lead poisoning to children

does not come from water.

It comes from ingesting
lead paint dust.

There are an estimated


all around the country
that contain

both a lead dust hazard
and a child under six.

And the CDC estimates
over 1/2 million children

have elevated blood lead levels,

and that's terrible.

Lead is almost
as much of a scourge

in young children's homes
as "Frozen" merchandise.

Why do you need three Olafs
and a singing Elsa, McKenzie?

Let "Let It Go" go.

[applause]
And--

and if you're thinking
at this point,

"Well, how--how big a deal
is a little lead dust anyway?"

It's a big f*cking deal.

man: How potent is lead?

A child can be poisoned by only


To give you an idea
of what a small amount that is,

this spoonful contains
about 4,000 milligrams.

Today we know just ingesting
small amounts of lead dust

can lead to brain damage
and even death.

- Okay, first:
maybe don't say "death"

in that jolly tone of voice
over the photo of a baby.

But--but second: it is true that
there is no safe level of lead.

It's one of those things
so dangerous,

you shouldn't even let
a little bit of it inside you,

much like heroin
or Jeremy Piven.

Even--

even low-level exposure
can lead to irreversible damage

like lower IQs,
antisocial behavior,

and reduced attention span.

And the dangers are so severe
that 20 years ago,

"Sesame Street" even produced
a video to teach kids

how to deal with lead
in their homes.

- Let's go, everybody!

From the top!

Wash your hands
before you eat.

all: Wash your hands
before you eat.

- Stay away
from peeling paint.

all: Stay away
from peeling paint.

- Enough!
I've had it!

Who do you people
think you are anyway,

the Lead Police?

[upbeat music]

all: ♪ We are the Lead Police

♪ We are the Lead Police

- It's a close call,
but as Police songs go,

the possibility
of being poisoned by lead

is still less terrifying
than "Every Breath You Take."

Every breath I take,
you'll be watching me?

That's a crime.
You're stalking me, Gordon.

You're a stalker.

That video was made


and it's enough
to make you wonder,

"Well, if lead paint
is so dangerous,

"why the f*ck is there still
so much of it

in houses where kids live?"

And that's a good question.

Many countries around the world
actually banned the use

of lead paint in the 1920s.

So we knew it was dangerous.

But instead of joining them,
America decided

to put lead
basically everywhere.

- Wait, "humble lead"?

It's a naturally occurring
element,

not Meryl Streep's
Oscar speech.

And also, if we're assigning
personality traits to metals,

why stop with "humble lead"?

How about "passionate zinc,"

"free-spirited copper,"

and "extremely r*cist tin"?

And--and it wasn't--it wasn't
just newsreels promoting lead.

The lead industry
reassured us it was safe,

releasing things like
this coloring book

inviting you to
"The Dutch Boy's Lead Party,"

which sounds like the worst
sex club in all of Amsterdam.

And even when the government
finally got serious

about banning lead
in the '70s and '80s,

the lead industry did not go
down without a ridiculous fight.

Here is the head
of a lead industry trade group

pushing back
against the evidence

that lead was dangerous.

- The fact of the matter is,

if you look at a total
national profile,

we have never
been healthier;

we have never lived longer.

There must be something
that--that we're doing right.

- What?

He's basically saying, "It can't
be bad; I turned out fine,"

which is the number one
argument made by people

who did not turn out fine.

It's like
when your uncle says,

"Hey, I had my first beer
at ten, and I turned out okay."

But did you, Uncle Stu?
Did you, though?

Because your dinner last night
was 23 croutons

dipped in frosting.

And that is not
"turned out fine" behavior.

Make a change, Uncle.

And--and by the way,

there was already plenty
of hard evidence showing

that childhood
lead exposure was harmful,

due in large part
to a study by this man,

Dr. Herbert Needleman.

man: In the late 1970s,
Dr. Needleman studied

the baby teeth
of healthy schoolchildren

in two Boston suburbs.

Needleman: When we looked
at the data,

we found that children who had
high lead in their teeth

but who had never been
identified as having

any problems with lead
had lower IQ scores,

poorer language function,
and poorer attention.

- That's right.

It's time you knew, children:
there is no tooth fairy.

Your baby teeth
were all taken away

by Dr. Herbert Needleman.

We told you the fairy thing
'cause we knew

that would creep you out.

But you should be
thanking that man,

because thanks to studies like
his, America started regulating

and removing lead from
our environment in the 1970s,

resulting in a graph
of child blood lead levels

in this country
that looks like this.

Now, lead paint was banned here,
and leaded gasoline

was phased out
all through here.

So getting rid of lead
in paint and gas

was a major
public health victory.

You know that 18-year-old intern
in your office

who thinks
he's so damn smart?

Well, he probably is
because he was born

after America's lead epidemic.

"You got lucky, Sawyer.
Now go get my coffee."

But even though we drastically
cut back on the amount

of new lead that we put into
the world, we were still left

with all the lead
that was already there,

in our pipes
and on our walls.

And while we all agreed
it was a problem,

the cost of getting rid
of it all

was surprisingly high.

In 2000, the estimated cost
for testing for

and then totally removing
lead from old housing stock

nationwide was $16.6 billion
per year, every year,

for the next decade,

which is the sort of figure
that turns the government

into parents
with a sick family dog.

"Hey, I know we said we'd do
anything to make this better,

"but we just got an estimate
from the vet,

"and do you know
that in doggie heaven,

"every meal is hot dogs?

"Don't you think Bandit
would like to go live there?

I do.
I do."

And look,
nobody expected the government

to pick up that full tab.

That same report even ran an
estimate of what it would cost

if the government used
interim controls,

like sealing lead paint in
or periodic cleanings,

and only did that in homes where
families with low incomes lived.

And that cost came out
to just $230 million per year,

which sounded lower
and therefore better.

Unfortunately and amazingly,

we have never funded it
at that level.

For instance, the main program
to abate lead paint in housing,

HUD's
Lead Hazard Control program,

has never been appropriated
funding above $176 million.

It's been steadily going down
since 2003,

and this year, we've allocated
just $110 million.

That is just a little more
than Americans spent

to go see "Ride Along 2,"

a movie which, incidentally,
the "New York Post"

described as
"as funny as lead poisoning."

And--

It's amazing.
And--and look.

That reduction is by no means
because we were done

removing lead from housing,

because remember,
there are still millions

of homes with lead paint
hazards in them.

And according to HUD,
they were only able to fund

around half the applications
for lead abatement grants

they received last year,

meaning many Americans still
live in homes with lead in them,

and sadly, it is often
the groups least able

to do anything about it.

- Well, people in the lower
socioeconomic levels

go into older housing,
less well taken care of housing,

housing where there may be
absentee landlords,

and, as a result,
are more liable to have

lead paint that has not
been abated,

has not been
taken off the walls.

- Of course.

And if you are
in that situation,

you probably can't shop around
for a new apartment.

So most people with lead
problems are stuck in homes

they can't leave, trying
their best to avoid danger,

which may sound familiar
because it's the plot

of every f*cking horror movie
ever made.

And the crazy thing is,
while lead abatement

is expensive,
it's cost-effective.

For instance, some studies show
a correlation between

decreasing lead levels
and a fall in crime.

And when you combine that
with lower medical bills

and greater economic activity,
one study found that

each dollar spent on lead paint
hazard control would bring back

at least $17
in societal benefits,

which is great,
although the cost savings

still do rank a distant third
on my list of reasons

to not poison children,

number one and two
still being:

it's poison,
and they're f*cking children.

And you would think
that our members of Congress

would be on board with doing
more to fight lead poisoning.

After all, you remember
how angry they were

about all those kids
who got poisoned

in Flint, right?

- We've got children
that have been harmed.

- It's a human issue.

It's an American issue
that affects Americans' lives.

- We're not
some third world country

where you get 100,000 people
who get poisoned--

poisoned.

- They seemed so concerned--
concerned!

Which--
which is what--

which is what makes it--
but that's what makes it

so frustrating that last year,
all of those men

voted for a bill
that would have reduced

the already low funding
for HUD lead abatement programs

by $35 million,
amounting to a 32% cut.

And the truth is,
if you cut funding like that,

a whole lot more children
might get poisoned--

poisoned!

Now, the good news is,
those cuts didn't go through.

The bad news is,
the funding stayed flat.

And by the way,
the other two primary agencies

that work on lead-related issues
have had funding problems

in recent years as well,

which makes no sense,
because I thought

poisoned children
was something

we were all
justifiably outraged by.

This problem was obvious enough


for "Sesame Street"
to feel the need to address it.

And since we very much
still have this problem,

it's clearly time
to address it again.

["Sesame Street" theme music]

[both humming]

- Hi, Elmo!
Hi, Rosita!

both: Oh, hi,
Mr. Oliver!

- I can't believe that
it has been two decades

since "Sesame Street"
taught kids

how to avoid lead dust.

You two do not look like
you've aged a day.

- Well, thank you,
Mr. Oliver.

I moisturize.
- Oh, very nice!

Very nice.

- You know what,
Mr. Oliver?

Elmo's been hitting the gym.

[grunts]
Oliver: Whoa, there!

Wow, I can see.
You're ripped.

- Uh-huh.
- Well, you both look great.

But unfortunately,
I'm here to say

a lot of places
still contain lead paint.

- Oh, no.
Oliver: Mm-hmm.

- Well, what can we do
about that, Mr. Oliver?

- Well,
that's a good question.

We need to care more
than we currently do

so that we spend enough
money on containing it.

- Oh, Elmo has some money
in his piggy bank.

- Oh, that's nice.

Well, how much--
- Aw, isn't that cute?

- How much have you got
in there, Elmo?

How much is it?

- $1.76.

- Okay, that's a start.
- Oh, yay! Elmo did it!

Elmo saved the day!
Oliver: No, you didn't do it.

No, no, no, no no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Elmo, you didn't actually do it,
because we're gonna need

a lot more of that money,

probably hundreds of millions
of dollars every year.

- Ay mama!
Oliver: Yeah.

- Wow.
Oliver: It's a lot.

- 100 million
is a big number.

Oliver: Sure.
- Oh, come on, everybody.

Let's count
to 100 million together!

both: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6--
Oliver: No, no, no, guys.

No, no, no, we really
do not have time for that.

The problem here is,
people are worried that lead

is too expensive
a problem to fix.

- That's ridiculous!

- Oh, hey, Oscar!
How you doing?

[cheers and applause]

How you doing, Oscar?

- [grumbling]

How can anyone say
it's too expensive, huh?

Aren't they aware
that according to a study

in "Environmental
Health Perspectives,"

every dollar we spend
on lead paint hazard control

produces returns
of at least 17 to 1?

- Wow!

That is an astonishing level
of economic insight

coming from someone
who lives in a trash can.

- Hey!
This can is rent-controlled.

I've had it since the '60s.
- Oh, okay.

But, Oscar, look,
I-I know it's cost-effective,

but people just aren't
willing to do it.

I guess it just
seems too hard.

- Yeah, but just because
something's hard

doesn't mean
you shouldn't try.

Oliver: That's a good point.
[lively music]

- Hey, should we
sing a song about it?

- Ugh, do we have to?
Oliver: Oh, okay, yeah. Okay.

Elmo: ♪ La la la

♪ Lead's a really big problem

♪ Seems like it's everywhere

♪ We can do more to fix it

♪ But first we all

♪ Have to care

- Well, that does
make sense, Elmo.

Things do tend to get done
if you just decide

you want to do them.

Can you think of another
example where that's true?

- Oh, I can!
Oliver: You go.

- [clears throat]

♪ I wanted to tie my shoes

♪ I could never do it right

♪ Then I decided

♪ To practice it

♪ And now they're all

♪ Knotted tight

- They are!
You did it.

You see, you just have
to have a vested interest

in the outcome,
and you'd be amazed

at what you can do.

Oscar, you take a verse!

♪

- ♪ Yes, my trash can is messy

♪ People stop and they stare

♪ I suppose I could

♪ Clean it up

♪ The problem is

♪ I don't care

- Well, that is
unsurprisingly negative, Oscar,

but you know what?

That's actually
a fair representation

of our institutional
problems,

so there you go.

- Ugh, you mean I helped you
prove your point?

- Yes, Oscar.
You actually did.

- Argh!

[Elmo laughs]

- ♪ Lead is still
all around us ♪

♪ Our pipes, our walls,
and our air ♪

♪ We should do more
to contain it ♪

♪ But first we all
have to care ♪

all: ♪ Yes, first,
we all have to care ♪

- That's our show.

Thank you so much
for watching.

We'll see you
next week.

Good night!

Thank you so much, guys!

Thank you, Rosita!

Thank you so much!

[cheers and applause]

- What are you clapping about?

Don't encourage him!

[cheers and applause]

[bright tone]