03x17 - Once a Player

[bunniefuu]

[Brody]
'Should we get some calamari?'

- No. Do you like calamari?
- I like calamari.

Wow! Your eyes look very
beautiful right now.

- Thank you.
- They look very bluish.

They are blue.

I thought they were green.

They're blue with yellow
in the middle.

I need to get
some eyes like that.

I like your eyes.

So? Anything else new
and exciting in your life?

Any... Talk to Jen Bunney
at all lately?

I think Jen might be coming
tonight to my Halloween party.

Oh, really?
That's cool, though.

- You guys can hang out.
- Oh, yeah.

Shut up.

Little cuties everywhere.

Kidding.

[instrumental music]

'What are you gonna do
for Halloween?'

I think, Audrina and I
were talking about

having like
a Halloween party, but...

Oh, my gosh!
That should be fun.

It'll be fun just 'cause we've
never had one at our apartment.

And Audrina's inviting a couple
of her guy friends.

Oh, my God!
And she's inviting a guy.

Ooh!

- JB's replacement.
- Special night!

I haven't met him yet either,
so I'm excited to meet him.

You and Brody doing a little,
like, couple-costume action?

Please. He'll couple
with Frankie before me.

[laughs]

I guarantee he does.

"Dumb and dumber."

Oh! They should do
"Dumb and Dumber."

But which one's Dumber?

They should be the guys
from "Night at the Roxbury."

They would have to do
this all night.

Wait, so, what's going on
with Brody?

- Same thing as always.
- Same thing as always?

What's that mean, though?

Brody's a good guy.
He's really nice.

- Very good-looking.
- Mm-hmm.

But Brody likes his ladies.

Brody does like his ladies.

And you don't need to be one
among a million.

- Mmnh-mnh.
- Mmnh-mnh.

I just know that when I'm
around the two of you guys

like I can definitely sense
some sort of chemistry.

Yeah.

'Thanks for coming over
and talking about this.'

I know you know Spencer
better than anyone

'and I just kind of wanted
to, like, talk to you'

for a minute and see
what you thought.

I don't think Spencer told you,
but we got in this huge fight

the other night 'cause
he wanted to elope.

"Are you kidding me?"
Like, "You want to go elope?"

And so, he got so mad
at me, and he left.

And he like didn't
call me that night.

And I was just so upset.

I was like,
"how could you just leave me?"

Like, "I wouldn't leave you."

- That's so not like him.
- I know.

You know, he's just over it,
and I'm burnt out.

'And it's all
happening so fast.'

And I feel, if anything, it's
just kind of tearing us apart.

You know that he loves you.

And I'm sure he knows
that you love him and...

You know, like, I want to be
engaged and I want to get

married, but maybe
we should postpone this

and wait a little bit.

Like, what's the harm
in waiting, you know?

Yeah.

But please don't, you know,
like tell him anything.

Oh, of course.

I know you won't, but I just
got to say it in case, you know?

I know you're his sister
and everything.

Yeah.

Don't... Take that off, bro.

- Bro, it's so hot in here.
- No, that's our costume right?

'Whitney, what do you think
of Batman and Robin?'

It's more like
Siegfried and Roy.

Hey, you know what?

Good job, Batman!

'Alright, that's good
on the smoke!'

Alright, we're gonna shut
off the smoke for a while.

I, like, can't breathe.

Oh!

Oh! Amazing!

You're amazing.

Oh, my God!

- 'Great job, ladies!'
- 'Thank you!'

- Amazing job, Jen, you too.
- We just won!

- 'What?'
- 'We just won!'

That's why he's saying
"good job."

What do you think
I'm saying "great job" for?

- Hi! Hi!
- Hello, hello.

- Do you like my costume?
- Holy...

- How are you?
- I'm doing alright.

How are you doing?

- You're not gonna say hi?
- Oh, hi!

Are you gonna
ignore me like that?

- 'Can I see how it is?'
- 'What?'

- Lauren!
- This is Corey.

Corey, this is my sister Casey
and her fiancé Aaron.

Nice to meet you.

I'm glad you guys came.

We made it, but just.

Well, you're still here.

It's all good.

'Brody and Lauren, I want to
introduce you guys to Corey.'

- Corey, what up, man?
- How you doing?

- Nice to meet you.
- Lauren. Nice to meet you.

- He's from Australia.
- Where in Australia you from?

- Brisbane.
- Oh, Brisbane?

Aussies are the best.
I love Aussies.

I love Aussies.

Alright, baby, I got to bounce.

- You give me a nice hug.
- A cape hug.

Do you have to leave right now?

Sorry, I was a little
under dressed here

but, oh, wait,
I got a little excited.

Whoa!

Alright. Audrina...

- Hey, very nice to meet you.
- You too, man.

[indistinct chatter]

[instrumental music]

[sighs]

[instrumental music]

- Hey.
- Hi.

This is a mess.

It's too bad that Frankie
and Brody left so early.

I barely remember even saying
goodbye to 'em.

It was just chaos.

They must have went
to another party.

Sometimes it doesn't work out.

Mm-hmm.

That's okay.
That doesn't matter, though.

'I know.'

But the good thing
is, everybody's a fan of Corey.

'Everyone loves him.'

He's nice, huh?

I really like him.

I know. We're going
on a date tonight.

- Are you really?
- Yeah.

That'll be fun.
You'll have fun.

He didn't know anyone,
and he, like...

See? That's so good.

And he was nice to everybody.
You know what I mean?

He made an effort, which
shows that he likes you.

It shows a lot.

- After you, my dear.
- Thanks.

'Hi. Nice to meet you.'

[Spencer]
'Hi, I'm here to pick up
the Heidi Montag'

save-the-date cards.

- You're getting married.
- I am. I am.

- I'm his sister.
- Oh! Okay. Alright.

Very excited.

Pretty, pretty, pretty.

I was getting stressed out
by it, but now it's all

starting to come together.

Got a church. We got invites.

Now we just need to figure out
where to have the party.

She won't do
Don Antonio's, so...

Well, we were talking
a couple days ago, Heidi and I.

About?

I just think that fight
freaked her out.

It wasn't a fight.

You left.

Well, that's your opinion.

She just feels like this is
breaking up your relationship.

What are you talking about?

She didn't know
how to tell you.

Are you kidding me right now?

When did you have this
conversation with her?

How do you know this
and I don't know.

I mean, she wants
the perfect wedding.

I know she was
pushing you into this.

She wasn't pushing me
into this.

I wanted this as much if not
more than she did.

Spencer, I don't even think
she is 100% sure

she wants to get married
right now.

I mean, I think you
just freaked her out.

Alright, well,
thank you so much.

I think we're gonna
have to come back.

I think, I need to go talk
to my future bride.

I don't want to say
anything, but...

After you,
bearer of great news.

♪ Don't you run and hide ♪

♪ It's only... ♪♪

It's probably best that they
sat us inside anyway.

- Hi.
- How are you doing?

- We have reservations.
- Great. Come on in.

Check in with the hosts.

I used to come here
all the time. It's so good.

'Yeah, this place
is pretty nice, huh?'

You got to try
one of these ones.

I'm not very good
with chopsticks.

- I'm trying.
- Go for it.

We got this one little local
sushi place back home.

We sesh there quite a bit.

That's where I
learned my skills.

That's where you
learned your skills?

Yeah.

'Cause I was real bad
at it, too.

They brang me out
the beginner ones

you know, with the rubber band.

That's what I used to.

Yeah, the training ones.

You feel like a real loser,
but that's how to learn it.

You got to go down to Australia,
alright, at least once.

'I will.'

You should. It's gonna be
so hot this summer, though.

I don't think I've had a proper
winter in like five years.

Do you snowboard?

I've never been
snowboarding once.

I've only been once.

'I love to go
again this winter.'

- You want to?
- Yeah, let's do it up.

- It'll be sweet.
- Where should we go next?

I don't know.
Do you want to go out?

Or do you want to just go home?

'This place is cute.'

It's very romantical.

- Yeah, I've been here before.
- Have you?

Who have you been here with?

I came here with Jason.

Oh, then it is very
romantical indeed.

Well, I can be your
boyfriend tonight.

How was Halloween?

Um, it was fun.
You should have come.

- I'm sad you couldn't make it.
- I was such a loser-face.

I had a midterm the next day.
It was horrible.

Did Brody and Frankie go?

Oh, as Batman and Robin.

They left early, too.
They went to another party.

Mmm.

Have you guys been, like,
going on dates?

I don't know. It's limbo.
It's...

We're friends, but, like...

He's more than your
friend, Lauren.

The thing is, like...

I mean, do you want him to be
more than your friend?

That's the thing is I just...

Maybe he wants things from you,
too, that you just don't know.

You know, like how we're having
this conversation.

He could be having
a conversation like this

with somebody else,
and you just don't know.

Maybe Brody is waiting for you
to say something.

It's not that I don't want
Brody to be my boyfriend

but... I mean, I'm not stupid.

I know that he's out with other
girls all the time.

You know what I mean?
Like, I know that.

I want... Brody to want...

...to not do it
without me saying anything.

So, you want him to not want
to see other girls.

But, like, I don't want to
tell him not to do that.

You know what I mean?
Who am I to tell not to do that?

Yeah. Catch 22, love.

- Hi
- Hello!

Didn't see you right there.

- 'I like your blue hat.'
- Thanks.

- How was your date?
- It was really good!

'He's really nice.'

Like, everything he does

I'm not used to like
being treated like that.

You know, he's very attentive
and very gent.

He's, like, a gentleman.
He's really nice.

So good.

He doesn't leave me hanging
all the time, you know?

- He's a keeper.
- Oh, you got a keeper?

Well, I'm not gonna
jinx anything.

It's way too soon
to jump into anything.

- 'Knock on wood.'
- Yeah.

- Alright, can I be annoying?
- Please.

Did you kiss him?

- Yes.
- You kissed him, huh?

He kissed me.

Did you kiss him, like,
"thanks for dinner."

- It was, like, mutual.
- 'Or was it like...'

Like I wanna kiss you, but I
don't know and then you kiss.

- Or was it like...
- Oh, my God, Lauren.

What kind of kiss?
Kiss, it's important!

It's so weird 'cause Justin
hated. He never liked to kiss.

So, he returned your calls,
which Justin didn't.

He likes to kiss,
which Justin didn't.

He bathes,
which Justin didn't.

Upgrade!

[instrumental music]

'Will you please move your
feet off the table?'

'I'm trying to clean up here.'

What's wrong?

Well, uh...

Last I heard, we were planning
on getting married.

And I was going and getting
invitations, and my sister

thankfully stopped me.

Your sister?
What'd your sister say?

She said not to spend a few
thousand dollars on invitations

for a wedding that she doesn't
think is happening.

Well, first of all,
I don't think that's

any of her business.

Well, you made it her
business when you told her about

what's going on with
the wedding instead of me.

First of all, your sister
has nothing to do with this.

And actually, she shouldn't even
have said anything to you.

She was just looking out
for her brother.

'She was not trying
to be a snitch.'

Is the big wedding just an
excuse for you to stall

and not have a wedding?

You can just be honest.

I was trying to make a nice
ceremony that we'd all be at

and you don't want this.

It's like it seems
like a nightmare for you.

You're the one that's
dragging it out

so there's all this conflict
so it doesn't happen.

I don't want to just get
it over with.

I want our family and friends
to be there.

Like, that's not dragging
it out.

It's something that's really
important to me.

And if you don't understand
that by now

'I don't know
what to tell you.'

I mean, I'm not the one
who pushed you.

You're the one who pushed me
to move in here.

You're the one
who proposed to me.

I have given up
so much for this.

I haven't given up anything
for this relationship?

Do you see me going out ever
with any of my friends?

Oh, I'm sorry. Is that something
really important to you?

Then why don't you go do that?

My point is you're acting
like I haven't sacrificed

anything...
I'm here with you 24-7.

I don't make you
be here with me 24-7.

But, I don't sit here and say
"I've sacrificed everything."

"I forced you to do this."

'Ah, don't mock me.'

Don't you dare leave.

If you leave, don't come back.

Spencer!

'Wow!'

This place is cool. I can...

I mean, you know, you could have
let me pull that out for you.

Jeez. Way to make me look bad.

- Sorry.
- Just kidding!

I love when they put
twinkly lights around

when it's not
Christmas time.

'It's almost Christmas time.'

- Audrina her and Justin...
- Done.

...wanna hang out.

They're done.

- They're not done.
- Yeah, they are.

'I've heard that before.'

She just went on two dates
with another guy

and she really likes him.

No. I think she's...
She's gonna be strong this time.

Sure.

Sometimes no matter
how much you like a guy

they're just not
good for you, you know?

Who is that with you?

Go on.

How is that?
I don't understand.

Why, do you think
I'm gonna go...

- 'Go what?'
- Mack all these girls?

Yeah, that's exactly
what I think you're gonna do.

- Oh, really?
- It's fine.

Who am I gonna mack?

- Really?
- Who?

Let me see your phone.

Let's see. We got...
Alex, Alex, Allie, Allison

Allison, Amanda, Amber, Amber,

Amy, Amy, Amy, Angie, Angie,
Anna, Anna, April, Adrianne

Ashley, Ashley, Aubrey.

Those are friends of mine.

Blond hottie.

They've accumulated
over the years.

Bridgett, wannabe bang.
Oh, wanna bang.

What? Oh-ho!
What was that one?

You have a Britney Miami.

Call her Britney
platinum blond.

[laughs]

Britney Canada whore.

'I'm gonna take
that back asap.'

Get that password
lock back on before

you get hold
of that again.

[laughs]

No, for real, those are
names over a couple years.

You got that phone
about two months ago.

Yeah, but I switched all my...
I bought this program.

There's a whole process to it.
It was very time-consuming.

So, Britney Canada whore
won't get a call anytime soon?

Britney Canada whore is not
getting a call anytime soon.

Well, those girls mean nothing
to me, sweetheart.

Brody, you can do
whatever you want.

Okay.

I'm not gonna tell you
what to do.

You don't have to tell me
what to do

but you can give me
some sort of... I don't know.

What do you want me to tell you,
I don't understand.

Nothing.

[instrumental music]

[theme music]