01x07 - It's a Mannequin's World

[bunniefuu]

[PEOPLE CLAMORING]

This is so cool!

I've been waiting months
for these scarves to come out!

-I'm never taking it off!
-Great!

Just be sure to shower in cold
water only and lie yourself flat to dry.

Okay, next!

Not so fast, short stuff.

You know the drill. Arms out.

[Beeping-♪]
♪-♪-♪

I knew it! What you hiding in there?

-Braces?
-Yeah, likely story. Open!

Daddy, you know I love Roxy.

She's the best bodyguard we've ever had,

but ever since she got back
from her Marine Corps reunion,

-she's been a little...
-Say "ah!"

Ahhh.

In your face.

She's just looking out for you, darling.

Remember, Roxy's the
same person that threw herself

in between you and that
sneezing fan in Cleveland.

You're right.

All right, she's clean.
Doesn't floss, but she's clean.

Move along. Hey!

But I got my eyes on you.

Oh, my, that looks fabulous on you!

Actually, I'm just looking.

Well, then look some place else,
kid, I've got a car payment to make.

Fine. But I hope when I'm
as old as you, I'm not as bitter.

Oh, you will be.

This is incredible.

All these fans, and the store
even made a mannequin of me.

That's not a mannequin, that's
a Hannequin, Miss Montanaquin.

-Oh, no.
-What? That was cute-aquin.

No, I think my dad's shopping
for my birthday present.

Oh, no, someone's gonna buy you
something really expensive and cool.

Whatever will you do?

No, Lilly, you don't get it.

As a dad, he knows everything about everything.

But as a shopper,

well, let's just say the alarm should
go off when he comes into the store.

You're right. All that dress needs

is a sheep and a bonnet
and you're Little Bo Geek.

I love him, but the man should not be allowed

into the teen department with a credit card.

[GROANS] Will someone please stop him?

Stop who? Where? I'll get him!

[Screaming]

[Crashing]

He's clean!

Move along. You're blocking people here!

♪ [♫] Come on! ♪

♪ You get the limo out front ♪

♪ Hottest styles, every shoe, every color ♪

♪ Yeah, when you're famous it can be kind of fun ♪

♪ It's really you but no one ever discovers ♪

♪ Who would have thought that a girl like me ♪

♪ Would double as a superstar? ♪

♪ You get the best of both worlds ♪

♪ Chill it out, take it slow ♪

♪ Then you rock out the show ♪

♪ You get the best of both worlds ♪

♪ Mix it all together ♪

♪ And you know that it's the best of both worlds ♪

[Laughing]

Mom always knew the right stuff to buy me.

She had great taste.

But Dad...

Oh, man, he has the taste of a month-old pickle.

Look, no dad knows how to shop for a girl.

You know what my dad got me for my last birthday?

A savings bond.

You can touch it, you can
feel it, but you can't spend it!

Pointless!

Well, I'd take a savings bond
over one of these presents any day.

Behold,

the ghosts... of holidays past.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

I need a fashion magazine!

Cool, hip, trendy...

Okay, all better.

I can't believe you actually
wore those in public.

Please. They never made it out of the house.

Miley! Let's see that pretty new birthday number.

Daddy! Does tomato juice stain?

Mamma mia!

Thatsa bigga staina!

Why don't you just say something to him?

Because I don't want to hurt his feelings.

You should see the look on his face
when he gives them to me and says,

"I picked this out special for you, bud."

Oh, the puppy dog look.

My dad gets me to shampoo grandma with that one.

[Shudders]

Well, you know, I don't think I
can take another one of those looks

or another one of his presents.

There's gotta be a way to
stop him from shopping again.

Well, what are you gonna do?

It's not like he's gonna take you along with him.

True,

but he might take you.

Excuse me! If I can squeeze through
that air vent, so can someone else.

We're gonna work on that.

Miley?

Miley?

All right, the coast is clear, bring in the cake.

Whoa! Whoa!

Hey, hey.

Woop! Woop! Woop!

Would you give... Give it to me!

Dude, chill, I'm just playing
with you. It's just a cake.

It's not just a cake, it's Miley's birthday cake.

And it's a chance for me to prove to my dad

that I can do something around
here without screwing it up.

Dude, I can help you bring in the cake,

but I cannot help you with mission impossible.

I got it here, didn't I?

Good, still perfect.

And it's gonna stay perfect
until Miley's birthday tomorrow.

I just gotta get it in the garage fridge.

Oh, could you grab the box?

I can't wait to see the look on my Dad's face

when he gets a load of this cake.

Son, I don't think you wanna
see the look on my face.

What are you grinning about?

There he is.

Now just remember my future
happiness depends on you.

No pressure.

You know, usually when someone
says "no pressure" it adds pressure.

Just go!

-Mr. Stewart!
-Hey, Lilly.

What on earth are you doing here?

Oh, I'm still hunting for just that
right birthday present for my little girl.

What a coinkydink. So am I.

So,

found anything?

Nope.

Well, here's a wacky thought,
maybe I can help you out,

since we both happen to be coinkidinkally here.

Coinkidinkally.

That's not a bad idea.

What do you think of this little number?

What do I think of that?

Hmm. What do I think?

I'm gonna have to give it a thumbs down.

What about something over here?

Hi.

Hi.

Just looking.

Me again.

Just wanted to let you know
about our new promotion.

Yeah, it's called "Buy something or get out".

Hey, I have my eye on something.

Blah, blah, blah, and don't come back.

I don't know. Maybe we
should just try another store.

No! We haven't checked everywhere yet.

I'm sure we can find her somewhere, I
mean find her something somewhere.

Lilly.

Whoa!

What? Did you find something?

Sure did.

And I hate it.

Just thought I'd let you know.

Look, pink.

Let go.

You know, I think I saw something
with a big bow on it over here.

Hey, that's nice. Where'd you find that?

It just sort of jumped out
at me and hit me in the eye!

You think she'd like it?

I think if she were here, she'd be all over it.

Then let's do it.

Man, that thing is lifelike.

I mean they even got the freckles right.

Look! No one at register two.

-Hey, cut it out!
-Mommy!

Don't be scared.

Stop staring at me, you freak!

Kid thought I was real.

Come on, there's a spare key out here somewhere.

Okay, first you drop a cake,

then you lock yourself outside
of the house with the new cake.

I'm starting to think you got some cake issues.

Less thinky, more looky. All right.

If anything happens to this one,
my Dad will never let me live it down.

[CLATTERING]

Please tell me the cake didn't just fall.

The cake didn't just fall.
The pelicans pushed it.

Why?

Maybe they thought it was a crab cake.

Oh, you get it? Crab cake.

Go home.

Hold up there.

Has this bag been out of your sight

or control since the time you wrapped it?

Roxy, you're here for Miley's birthday.

You're a guest, you're off the clock.

Mmm-mmm. Danger never takes a vacation.

All clear, and, girl, you're gonna love it!

Lilly, this is awesome.

And it's gonna look so good with the jacket.

I know.

-Here you go, Miley.
-One second.

Oh, Roxy. I got this one.

And I'll use your present to do it.

It's clean.

I told you she was gonna love
it. Ooh! You've been working out.

[laughs]

Yeah, I have.

Sheepskin seat covers.

You got me a present for your car?

Hey, when I drive you to the
mall, I want you to be comfortable.

For Christmas, I'm getting you chrome spinners.

Fine. And you're getting a black
leather skirt with matching pumps.

Mess with me!

Your turn, Mr. Stewart. I wonder
what you got her. Wink, wink.

Happy birthday, bud.

I have no idea what this is,

but that's the great thing about surprises,

you don't know what it is and...

Oh, it's a kitty!

-But what about the jacket?
-I took it back.

Didn't feel right.

I picked it out special for you, bud.

And I love it!

Especially the back.

Do I know my little girl, or what?

Turn it around! Squeeze the nose!

[Meows]

Just when I thought it couldn't get any cuter.

[Meows]

Okay, I'll wear it for an
hour. Make my dad happy.

And then tonight, it will
mysteriously fall into the barbeque.

What if it doesn't burn?

I will cut it up and eat it if I have to.

Either way, no one besides you, me and my daddy

is ever gonna see me in this thing.

Hey, Mile, come on out on the
deck. I got another surprise for you.

If it's the matching pants,
you're eating it with me.

Surprise!

[Meows]

-Got you, didn't I?
-You sure did.

Okay, what we waiting on?

Everybody down to the beach!
We've got a birthday to celebrate!

You don't know how hard it was
to keep the secret from both of you.

You knew?

Yeah. You should've seen the look on your face.

How do you like this look?
[GROWLS]

Wow, that's the same look my
mom had when she turned 40.

Well, what are you waiting on, darling?

Get on down there and show off that sweater.

Are you sure it won't
make the other kids jealous?

Because you know, it might.

Honey, this is your special day.

You deserve to have every eye down there on you.

Great.

Jackson, we're gonna need
that cake in about an hour.

Yeah, no problem. Why should it be a problem?

[CACKLING]

You're laughing at me, aren't you?
Laughing your little pelican laugh.

I hate you!

[SQUAWKS]

Okay, everybody, it's limbo time!

Yeah, how low can you go? How low can you go? ♫

How low can you... Oh!
[BONES CRACKING]

My achy breaky back!

Hey, Roxy, have you seen...

Miley!

Sorry. Never sneak up behind Roxy.

Roxy sees everything.

Hey, you're all right there, sugar. Shake it off!

Come on, Miley. So it's a dorky sweater.

Are you kidding? I look like a kitty-kabob.

Well, no one here's gonna make fun of you.

It's not like someone's gonna take your picture

and put it in the school yearbook.

Hey, birthday girl!

Say, "Cheese!"

[CAMERA CLICKS]

Quick! Cover my tail!

-Did you get her?
-No. You?

No. I took a picture of myself by mistake.

And I look fantastic.

Yo, J-man! Jackson!

-In the kitchen, Coop!
-Yo!

Did you see the road k*ll
your sister was wearing?

What are you doing?

What's it look like I'm
doing? I'm baking the cake.

All right, I got milk, flour.

Now add three eggs. All right.

One, two, three.

-Jackson...
-Shh.

Now, stir. All right.

Stupid pelicans.

Pelicans eat fish, not
cake! Everybody knows that.

Coop, I think there's something wrong here.

You're supposed to break the eggs, fool!

That totally makes sense.

Yeah, thank you.

I cannot watch this anymore.

-Like you could do any better?
-Way better.

Okay, I'm going to tell you something
nobody outside my family knows.

What? You still drink Shirley Temples?

They are fruity and refreshing!

But that's not it! The truth is...

I'm a baker.

-What?
-I love to bake!

Pies, cakes, tarts

and my snickerdoodles are off the chain!

You said that your mom made those.

Are you kidding? My mom can't make ice.

Now step off and let a pro have a go.

I need a clean bowl, fresh ingredients and...

Give me that. You're not fit to hold the whisk!

Ya mon, that's right. Nobody can b*at this.

Guess again, string bean. Roxy
is undefeated. How low can I go?

Yes!

Now somebody point me to the prize table.

But you cheated.

-I don't think so.
-Neither do I.

Here, kitty kitty kitty.

Miley, you can't stay in the bathroom forever.

You know the best part
about being yearbook editor?

-Choosing the pictures that go in it.
-Choosing the pictures that go in it.

Ooh!
[BOTH IMITATE SIZZLING]

-I'm getting tired of that.
-Me, too.

-Let's stop.
-Let's stop.

Ooh!

[BOTH IMITATE SIZZLING]

-Why don't you just take it off?
-And tell my father what?

I don't know, that you're allergic to cats?

This is what I think of that idea.

But you gotta do something.

If they take your picture, it'll
be in the yearbook forever.

Hey, it's Oliver.

Use the other one!

Miley, you can come out now. I got you covered.

-How?
-Just trust me.

Here, this should cover the sweater.

Oliver, you're a lifesaver.

My Aunt Harriet got me the
puppy version for Christmas.

It barks Jingle Bells.

Very clever.

Yeah, there's no way we
can take that picture now.

Right. Unless something were to happen like this.

[SQUEALS]

Stop it, guys!

-Yeah, why are you so mean?
-It's what we do.

-Well, we don't.
-Yeah, we're her friends.

You think everybody here doesn't
know it's the dorkiest sweater

in the history of the world?

You'd have to be blind not to see that.

Well, I don't care what anybody thinks. I...

I love this sweater.

Because it was given to me by
someone I care about very much.

And if you wanna take my
picture, then go right ahead.

Because this sweater means more to me

than the coolest outfit in the world.

Right, Mittens?

[Meows]

Wow. It really makes you think
twice about taking the picture.

I know.

-Say cheese.
-Say cheese.

[CAMERA CLICKS]

Hey, girls! Picture this!

[YELLS]

[ALL EXCLAIM]

Yeah, that's what happens when you mess with

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Roxy.

My cake!

That I carried but didn't make.

Because guys don't do that.

Ladies. Say, "Gotcha!"
[CAMERA CLICKS]

Now we both have pictures.

-Wanna trade?
-Wanna trade?

Ooh!

I don't do that.

-Dad.
-Hey, sweetheart.

Thanks for a great birthday.

Yeah, thanks for what you said out there. But...

We both know I messed up, don't we?

It's not that...

I wouldn't say...

It meows, Dad.

I know.

I saw a lot of clothes you
would've liked a lot more,

but I just couldn't get myself to buy them.

Why not? You see what I wear to school.

You see what I wear on stage as Hannah Montana.

Yeah. Maybe that's just it.

My little girl's just growing
up so fast, there's a part of me

that just wanted to hold on
to the little girl you used to be.

Daddy; I'll always be your little girl.

I'll just be your little
girl that dresses better.

It's a deal.

You know, your mom and I, when she was around,

we used to have a deal that

she'd buy all the presents
and I'd carry the bags for her.

Maybe it's time I just started
carrying your bags for you.

-That could work.
-But you gotta do me one favor.

When you open your presents,
you still gotta act surprised.

That's perfect.

Hey.

Does that pelican got frosting on his beak?

Jackson.

[BARKING JIN GLE BELLS]

[MEOWING IN SYNC]

How long do you think that's gonna last?

It's got a watch battery.

It could last forever.

[Shudders]

One more time!