02x03 - You Are So Sue-able to Me

[bunniefuu]

He goes from the top of the key!

He sh**t!

He scores! Whoo!

I cannot believe
Justin Timberlake

is from the same species.

Some boys are such pigs!

Lilly! Wha?

Close your mouth.

We're in the ninth grade.

You gotta start
acting more like, um,

I don't know, a girl!

What are you talking about?

I act like a girl all the time.

Incoming!

Truscott from downtown!

Don't say booya,
don't say booya!

Booya!

Yeah, um, nice sh*t, Shaq!

Muy maco!

It's macho.

Whatever. You know
I'm bad at French.

Well, at least I
know how to be a girl.

I never thought this
day would come, but...

Amber and Ashley are right.

I hate you for
making me say that!

They're not right. I
know how to be a girl.

Oh, yeah? Then why
don't you have a date

for the dance on Friday?

Not everyone is
going to the dance.

You're not going.

I've got a Hannah concert.

Details, details.

Hey, guys. Did you hear
who's going to the dance

Friday night with Gabe Lamotti?

You mean, "hottie" Lamotti?

With a swimmer's body?

Who? Me!

We started as lab partners,
and the next thing I know,

I'm growing his boutonnière in
its own self-contained biosphere.

Who are you guys going with?

I'm not going. I have a thing.

Yeah, I got a thing, too.

Different thing then her thing.

But a thing. Big thing.

Ooh, no dates?

Well, don't feel bad.
There'll be more dances.

Unless global
warming kills us first.

Bye!

You're right!

Even Saint Sarah has
a date for the dance.

I'm a failure as a girl.

Oh! Listen, I'm not
gonna let you give up, ok?

There's a ninth grade
girl in there somewhere.

We just gotta get her out, ok?

Let's start with this hat.

And stop sitting like a guy.

And basta with
the pasta, already.

Like that is going
to do any good.

Well, it looks like it's
working for Matt Marshall.

Matt Marshall?! I've been crushing
on him ever since the first time...

Hey, Lilly. Uh, 'sup, Matt?

Act like a girl.

Um, so, Matthew,
come here often?

Of course he does. It's school!

So, are you going to
the dance this Friday?

No, I don't think
I'll actually...

I don't know, maybe,
why do you ask?

I just thought if you were going,
then, you know, we could maybe...

Carpool? No, I kinda meant...

Yeah? What?

What? Oh, sweet niblets!

Of course she'll go
to dance with you.

Cool. Cool.

I'm going to the
dance with Matt! Yes!

How do I do it?

Come on.

♪ You get the limo out front ♪

♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ hot styles, every
shoe, every color ♪

♪ yeah, when you're famous ♪

♪ it can be kind of fun ♪

♪ it's really you ♪

♪ but no one ever discovers ♪

♪ who would have
thought that a girl like me ♪

♪ would double as a superstar? ♪

♪ You get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ chill it out, take it slow ♪

♪ then you rock out the show ♪

♪ you get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ mix it all together ♪

♪ and you know that it's
the best of both worlds ♪

♪ yeah, yeah, yeah, oh-oh ♪

so cool. I love this part.

Lilly, Lilly!

I hope you got your
shoppin' shoes on,

'cause I'm gonna take you

from skate chick to date chick.

Ok, one second, but I'm watching
teen court. It's almost over.

Let's listen as judge Joe

hands down his
verdict in the case of

Bobby and Michael and
the busted motorcycle.

Bobby, you borrowed a bike
and brought it back busted.

That's baloney.

And speaking of food,

it's time for justice
to be served!

Serve it up! Serve it up!

What's on the menu
for today, Big D?

We're going to
treat our guilty party

to a hearty
helping... Of oatmeal.

With plenty of Vermont's
finest maple syrup.

Yes, sir, Big D,

that is some sweet justice!

Case closed.

Dude, he got served
breakfast, lunch, and din...

this is what you were
talking about, right?

Yeah. Listen,

just because Matt already
asked you to the dance,

doesn't mean that he
can't change his mind.

You know, you got him
nibblin' on the cheese,

but now you gotta...
phew-too! Snap the trap.

Miley, he already asked me.

It's not like he's gonna
dump me and then ask some...

What is he doing?

I love skateboarding!
It's so viral!

It's virile.

Oh, who cares? It's still hot!

And so are you.

Ooh! Ss!

Looks like someone's
messin' with your man.

That's it. I'm through
being one of the guys.

Girl me up, baby!

Jbad, 109.6 Los Angeles.

Now get those
dialing digits ready,

'cause the lucky 24th
caller gets 2 courtside seats

for this Sunday's
playoff game featuring

your Los Angeles Lakers!

Hey there, new buddy,

how's it going, eh?

Not now, Thor. Oh, ok.

How about now?

No! Ok.

How about now?

No! Look, I'm trying to
win a contest here, so just...

Congratulations! You're
the lucky 24th caller!

Whoo-hoo-hoo! I did it! I won!

Hello?

No, wait, I'm here!

Hello?

Hello?!

Hello?

Hello?

If you're gone, I'm
moving on! Hello?

Hello?!

Hello? Oh, sorry,
can't talk now.

Holy cow.

You!

Don't hang up!

Oh, let me help, eh!

Yes! Thank you! Thank you!

Jbad rocks!

Wow-how!

Courtside seats for the Lakers!

Whew! You know what I'd do

if I had courtside
seats for the Lakers?

I'd take you!

'Cause your my new buddy!

So who are you gonna take?

Well, actually,
Thor, I hadn't really...

Oh. Thought about... It.

Oh, I get it.

You got lots of friends.

Hey, I know what that's like.

Back on the farm, I
had tons of friends.

And cows.

Ok, all my friends were cows,

but they were really
good listeners with...

Big brown eyes.

Sweet smiles.

Don't look at me!

Thor, do you wanna
go to the game?

Yes!

Yes! Oh, thank you,
Jackson! Thank you!

You are the ice
beneath my skates.

Don't ever say that again!

Okey dokey, artichokey!

That, either!

There he is.

I just heard you on jbad!

Whoo, doggies!

Me and my boy

are gonna sit courtside
at a playoff game!

Can you believe
this is happening?!

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

Come on, Lilly,

nobody's gonna laugh
at you, you look great.

I do not.

I look like Amber and
Ashley threw up on me.

I can't do this.

Hello.

Hey, hey, new girl!

Where'd you come
from... hot-sylvania?

Shut up, Nick, it's me!

Whoa! The new girl
sounds kinda like Lilly.

Ow! It is Lilly.

What happened to you?

You look fine!

Really?

Totally. Yeah.

Books, books.

Oh, my, these
books are so heavy.

Ahhh!

Oh, I got it!

Wow.

I know.

Listen, Thor, about
the playoff game...

♪ Happy, happy playoffs ♪

♪ may all your
dreams come true ♪

♪ I hope you like
this carrot cake ♪

♪ my mom made it for you ♪

Oh, man.

Yeah! It's a basketball cake!

And there's 13 pounds

of Minnesota cream
cheese in there.

That'll put some
junk in your trunk!

Yeah, it looks great.

Oh, it should! My mom
stayed up all night baking it.

She's just so happy I
finally got a 2-legged friend.

Anywho, what were you
going to say about the game?

You're paying for parking.

Okey dokey, artichokey!

Thor, stop thaying that!

Thaying that!

Listen, Thor, I'm
late for thience clath.

Dang flabbit!

Oh, Todd, you're so funny.

Lower and slower.

Oh, Todd, you are so funny.

So, new Lilly,

you wanna hang at
the dance with me?

Sorry, boys, she's taken.

I am not just good,
I am scary good!

Lilly?

Oh, boy!

I mean, oh, boy.

Wow. You look so...

I know... and all for you.

And it's all for you.

I-I... shh. Save
it for the dance.

Uh, bye.

"Save it for the dance"?

Way to... pshh! Snap the trap.

Nails!

I am so proud of you!

I'd like to dedicate this song

to a special friend

who I hope is having
an awesome time tonight.

♪ How did I get here? ♪

♪ Turned around
and there you were ♪

♪ didn't think twice
or rationalize ♪

♪ 'cause somehow I knew ♪

♪ that there was more
than just chemistry ♪

♪ I mean, I know you
were kind of into me ♪

♪ but I figured it's
too good to be true ♪

Go ahead, honey.
I'll be right there.

Lilly.

What are you doing here?

I tried calling you
every time I got offstage.

Were you a little
too busy with Matt?

He stood me up.

What?

I sat at home
waiting for 2 hours.

Lilly!

Look at you!

I bet some hearts
were broken tonight.

Just one.

Way to go, dad.

♪ Ooh ♪

How... can... boys...
Be... so... cruel?!

How could someone do
something like that to Lilly?

Don't they know how
delicate and fragile girls are?

Sugar and spice
and hands like a vise.

Heaven help the boy
who stands you up.

You got that right, bub.

Morning.

How you feeling?

Ok. Thanks for
letting me sleep over.

It was our pleasure, Lilly.

"Lilly."

That's what Matt calls me.

Dad.

That's her name.

Think a little.

Would you like some bacon,

li... ittle pieces of bacon?

No, thanks.

But don't let me
spoil your morning.

Go ahead and live
your happy lives.

Enjoy!

Dad, maybe you
should, uh... Gotcha.

I'm just gonna go out
on the deck and eat,

I just need to get one
of these placemats.

Matt!

Out!

Lilly. I hate seeing
you like this.

It's not right.

There's got to be a
way to get him back

for all the pain and
suffering he's caused you.

I'd like to know how.

Have you been put
through pain and suffering?

Did someone do you wrong?

They did her wrong.

Heck yeah.

Well, don't just sit
there and take it!

Take it to court...
The teen court.

Where justice is served!

Bam!

Hey dad, I need to talk
to you about these tickets.

Pssht.

Who cares if your
boy got into Harvard?

My boy's taking
me to a laker game.

Yep! Courtside seats.

Oh, he could have taken
anybody he wanted to,

but he decided to
take the old man.

Yep. All right, Fred,

listen, I gotta get off here,

I gotta go give my
boy a big bear hug.

Talk at you later.

My boy!

So what was it you wanted
to say about the tickets?

They have holograms!

Look, he's dunking!
Now he's not.

Dunking, not, dunking,
not, dunking, not!

Bye.

My boy. My strange, strange boy.

Hey, dad!

What's up, good buddy!

Hey, hey, I just
wanted to tell you

how much I'm looking forward

to going to that
game with you tonight.

Sittin' side by side,
right next to each other.

'Scuse me.

You know what these
burritos do to me.

But I love them!

You gonna be all right
for the game tonight, son?

Yeah, yeah, dad.
No, I'll be fine.

I just hope you don't
mind, because...

This is my third.

And I probably
shouldn't have gone

con queso, you
know what I'm saying?

You know, come to think of it,

I do have some paperwork
I need to catch up on.

Maybe you could find
somebody else to go with you.

But dad, it's supposed
to be just the 2 of us.

There's no one else I'd rather
share this experience with.

Lucky me.

But hey, if you don't
really want to go,

I mean, I could
probably find somebody.

Yeah-ho-ho!

Lakers rule!

So, what time are we leaving?

Hey, maybe Thor'd like to go.

Jackson.

What? It's like fate,

he just showing up
here like I invited him,

which, of course, I didn't.

Oh, I get it, you
want me to lie.

Uh, Mr. Stewart, is it
ok if I lie in your house?

All right, fine.

I invited Thor first.

But then you went
all "my boy" on me,

and he brought over
that basketball death cake.

I gained 5 pounds
just looking at the thing.

Now hold on, son...

I know, dad, I screwed up,

and I'm sorry. I'm
a terrible person.

Look, I don't even
deserve to go to this game.

Why don't you guys
just take the tickets?

Son, I screwed up and I'm sorry.

You don't have to yell at me,

I mean, I'll just watch
the game on TV.

And... you're sorry?

They were your tickets.

I invited myself.

And I tell you what.

You were just trying not to
hurt the old man's feelings,

and that means more to me

than any old silly
basketball game.

Aww.

I'll just let you guys

have your father and son moment.

So beautiful.

Ok, I know what you're thinking,

but that was not me.

Welcome to the teen court.

Today we hear the case of
dissed, dumped, and dateless.

First, let's meet our defendant,

Matt Marshall.

High school sophomore,
and alleged dumper.

And now, our dumpee
is entering the courtroom.

You're going down, pal.

Ba-quish! Blub, blub.

Save it for the judge.

Right.

All rise for the honorable
judge Joe Barret.

Thank you, Big D.

When I first read this case,

I pushed it to the
top of my docket.

You wanna know why?

Because I've got a
daughter, hotshot.

Oh, yeah, mm-hmm.

Slam dunk, baby.

Now, sweetheart, it says here

that you're suing
for the cost of...

The dress, hair, and make up.

Is that true, darling?

Don't forget the shoes. Tears.

And mani-pedi.

This girl got a
mani-pedi for you?

Mmm!

I can explain.

Oh, you'll have your chance.

I have to say that.
He's got no chance.

Now, tell me what
happened, angel?

Um, my friend's
too upset to speak,

so she asked me
to plead her case.

Go on and proceed, baby girl.

Thank you.

Your honor...

Ladies and
gentlemen of the jury,

what would this country be

if men didn't keep
their promises?

What if George Washington
promised to cross the Delaware,

but didn't,

because it was a
little chilly outside.

What if Abraham Lincoln

promised to save the union,

but broke that promise

'cause he wanted
to buy a new hat.

What if rutherford
b. Hayes... yo.

Tina talks-a-lot. Come here.

I know what you're thinking.

How does she do it
without any notes?

I'll tell you what I'm thinking.

If somebody doesn't get food
dumped on them in the next 5 minutes,

then my audience
is going to dump me.

And if Joe gets dumped,

Joe can't pay for his big boat.

And Joe likes his big boat.

Got it.

Ok.

So you asked her
out, you stood her up,

and you broke her heart.

And now, all we
want to know is why.

Why, why, why...
big boat! I'm done.

Now, before I
pronounce you guilty,

do you have anything to say?

Your honor... oh,
come on, come on,

he hasn't got all day.

This isn't fair.

I only changed my mind.

She changed her... everything.

I asked out this
really cool skater girl.

And the next day, she's all...

Girly and frilly and...
Weird. I mean...

"Save it for the dance."

Where'd that come from?

She just wasn't the
girl I had a crush on.

You had a crush on me?

Yeah.

Is this true? Did you change?

Well, she made me.

Everything seems
to come back to you.

Well, I was just trying to
turn her into a ninth-grader.

I mean, you should have
seen the way she looked before.

I like the way
she looked before.

You did?

What does he know?

Has he ever read a
teen fashion magazine?

I think not.

He doesn't know what he wants.

He needs to be
told what he wants.

He's a boy.

I'll tell you what I want.

I want to serve up some justice.

And I think I know
just who I want

to serve it up on.

Serve it up! Serve it up!

Whoa, whoa, 2
seconds, I'm begging.

Thank you.

Isn't the important thing
that these 2 wonderful kids

are back together?

Isn't that why we're all here?

Have you ever seen this show?

Look around.

Ok, I admit it.

I'm sorry. Lilly, I should have
never tried to change you.

You're great the way you are.

Totally.

So, you forgive me.
Yeah, sure, whatever.

Look at that.

Everybody's happy.

Looks like another
teen court case is closed.

Not quite.

Oh, boy.

Today's guilty party

gets a heaping
plate of spaghetti.

Smothered in a
hearty tomato sauce.

And topped with plenty
of squirmy, oily anchovies.

Whoo, that is
some stinky justice!

Case closed!

Where'd you get
the anchovies, Joe?

Fishing on your big boat?

Trading 2 seats for 3?

That was sheer genius, son.

And getting up here
was great exercise.

My lungs are on fire.

Aw, crimy, my nose is bleeding.

So we're a little high up.

At least the sound is great.

Dad, dad! Save the popcorn!