02x12 - When You Wish You Were the Star

[bunniefuu]

♪ I put on my old blue jeans ♪

♪ gonna walk out of here ♪

♪ into the street ♪

♪ would you put up resistance? ♪

♪ Would it make a difference? ♪

♪ Would you know the real me? ♪

♪ Me and my old blue jeans ♪

Hannah, you rock.

I can't believe
we did 3 encores!

Can't believe you did 3 encores.

You know we have a
science project due Monday.

What is wrong with you?

Oh, oh, ok.

Let's leave this boring
rock-star life behind

and get back to
the glamorous world

of earthworm larva.

You decent, girl?

I got your squeaky
little friend out here.

I told you it's a
nasal condition.

And, Hannah, I brought someone

who wants to meet you.

No way. We're already late,

and I promised our larva
we'd be home by 10:00.

Ok, fine. I'll get
rid of whoever it is.

Hey. I'm Jesse.

[]

Oh, my gosh, it's...
it's Jesse McCartney.

I love you.

I mean, big fan, big fan.

Listen, tonight I am the fan.

You did a great job.

And you are?

Eeeeeeeeep.

Nice to meet you, eep.

Listen, Hannah, a
bunch of my friends and I

were going to the dragon room.

Want to come? Yes.

No. No?

Yes. Excuse us.

What are you doing?

Our science project.

Oh, right.

Oh, ok, I've got the fix.

You do all the work,

and I'll go out with
Jesse. Toodles.

I got a better idea.

You give me the Hannah wig,

and I'll go out with
Jesse. Toodles.

I don't think he speaks eep.

Listen, ladies, if now
is not a good night,

why don't we... why
don't we do it tomorrow?

That would be
absolutely... Math test!

Impossible. How about Tuesday?

Yearbook committee.
Of next week?

Homecoming float.

Which I just realized
is no good either.

Busy, busy bee. Yep, that's me.

Why don't I just text you?

Getting rejected in
person is enough.

I don't need it in
writing. Thanks.

♪ Oh, whoa, oh, yeah ♪

This stinks.

Of course they stink.

They live in their own poop.

Not the worms, my life.

I cannot believe I gave
up Jesse McCartney

for a slimy piece of fish bait.

She didn't mean that, Ernie.

She loves you.

If only I could have
told Jesse the truth.

He would've understood
about school stuff,

but then I'd blow the secret.

This double life is so hard.

Oh, look! A sh**ting star!

I wish for an "a"
on the project.

What do you wish for?

Oh, man, I wish...

I wish there was no secret.

I was just Hannah
Montana all the time.

Sure would make
life a whole lot easier.

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

Ouch.

What is going on?

Your wish came true, girl.

Whoa.

You don't want to be Miley?

Well, now you're all
Hannah all the time.

Come on.

♪ You get the limo out front ♪

♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ hot styles, every
shoe, every color ♪

♪ yeah, when you're famous ♪

♪ it can be kind of fun ♪

♪ it's really you ♪

♪ but no one ever discovers ♪

♪ who would have
thought that a girl like me ♪

♪ would double as a superstar? ♪

♪ You get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ chill it out, take it slow ♪

♪ then you rock out the show ♪

♪ you get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ mix it all together ♪

♪ and you know that it's
the best of both worlds ♪

♪ whoa, whoa, whoa ♪

what are you talking about?

You wished for one
life, and you got it.

In this world, Miley
Stewart never existed.

Ha ha. Very funny, roxy.

Oh, I'm not roxy. I'm an angel.

I'm only taking
the shape of roxy

to make you more comfortable.

And I'm loving it.

Ok.

How about you just wait here

while I go get
some very nice men

with a very big net.

Oh, you don't believe me.

Well, if I wasn't an angel,

could I do this?

Check out my fly kicks.

And I do mean fly kicks.

No, no, no, no. This
cannot be happening.

Oh, it's already happening.

You wished upon a star,

and now Hannah
Montana is who you are.

Wow.

Nice crib, huh?

Look at this place.

It is so rock star.

I mean, the twinkly lights,

the leather couches, and...

Look at that awesome chandelier.

Madonna has one just like it.

Not anymore.

I love this!

Girl, you ain't
seen nothin' yet.

Your favorite breakfast cake,

mademoiselle Montana.

Triple Dutch chocolate?

With a fudge ripple middle.

I really love this.

I will put it next
to the hot tub

so that you can chill
out while you pig out.

Merci, Pierre.
C'est tres, tres bien.

I speak French.

You have a whole different life.

You lived in France,
you own Polo ponies,

and you have a
black belt in jujitsu,

which came in handy
when you fought that tiger

on circus with the stars.

Grrrr.

I fought a tiger?

I am so cool!

Good mornin', Hannah.

Mr. Corelli, what
are you doing here?

Home school teacher.

Hannah can't go
to public school.

I dropped by early
to grab a little... Chow.

You know how much I love
Pierre's omelette du fromage.

By the way, that's French
for "cheese omelet."

I know!

Oh, hey, Hannah.

Do you have that
history report for me?

History report,
right. Well, um...

Hey, no excuses, young lady.

If you do not have that report,

who cares?

It's home schooling
a la corelli.

By the way,

love the nifty Montana jacket.

Bling, bling, bling.

Wore it to the salon
yesterday, got a free back wax.

So, uh, I don't have to
worry about my assignments?

You don't have to
worry about anything.

You are Hannah Montana.

Aah!

And I am lovin' it.

Yeah, life is pretty sweet

when you don't have to
deal with all that Miley stuff.

You got that right. No math
test, no stinky earthworms...

And more time to
spend with your man.

I got a man?

Oh, not just a man, but the man.

♪ Santa Lucia ♪

♪ oh, mama Mia ♪

The perfect night,
the perfect girl.

♪ Santa Lucia ♪

I'd sing to you myself,

but I need these lips
for something else.

Eep.

You're so cute
when you say, "eep."

Sorry, sugarlips, but my
wings are getting all soggy.

You couldn't have given
me one more minute.

Sorry, but the top of
the gondola, romantic.

The bottom, nasty.

I can't believe it.

All these years I was so paranoid
about my secret getting out,

but boy, was I wrong.
This life is perfect.

Hannah-kins!

How's my favorite
little rock star?

Oh, great.

How's my favorite
little... Step mom.

Step-what?

Candice was your first
home school teacher.

Now she's my mom?

That must have been some
parent-teacher conference.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, hey, hey, darlin'.

You missed some gnarly boardin'.

Gnarly boardin'?

Totally.

Next time we go to Switzerland,

you so gotta come with us.

It was off the hook.

Radical.

But I'm back now,
baby. Give me a big hug.

Have you been working out?

Oh, I so gotta stay in shape

to keep up with
this little kitten.

Meow.

I got some yakity-yak
comin' back.

How about you.

Little bit.

But you know what?

My dad's happy, and
that's all that matters, right?

That's the spirit.

Don't let a little bump
in the road get you down.

Speaking of little
bumps, where's Jackson?

Oh, he doesn't
live here anymore.

Aah!

Sometimes this
teleportin' stuff ain't easy.

Oh, no, I dinged a wing.

Whoo-hoo-hoo, I got ya.

Jackson?

Whee-doggies, a quarter.

I'm eatin' good tonight.

What happened to him?

Hannah Montana.

He got tired of people
pretending to be his friends

just to get to you, so he
dropped out and became a hermit.

A stinky hermit.

Hey, what're you
lookin' at? Get! Get!

What happened to his voice?

Nothin'. He just does
that to scare people away.

Jackson.

Sweet nuggets, I
hit the mother lode!

Oh, it's just the lode.

Jackson, was being my
brother really that bad?

Yep. Now get.

I got my own life now,

and me and my dolphin
brothers and sisters

don't care about no
hanney montaney.

'Cept for Dave. He loves you.

Forget it Dave.

You want an autograph,

you come up here and
you ask her yourself.

Wow. When he dropped out,
he must've landed on his head.

Yo, yo, yo.

If you wanna be a-viewin'

on what a pop star's doin',

just fly me a 5 and watch
the Hannah house live.

I cannot believe Oliver's
selling peeks into my house.

It's like he's turned into a...

A stretched-out version of that?

How we doin'
today, twice my size?

Makin' bacon, mini-me.

And we ain't fakin'.

It's time to do...
A little shakin'

all this happened because...

Because I was never Miley,

I never went to regular school,

and so I never met Oliver.

I got it.

Oh, no. Angel, what
happened to Lilly?

Ok, everyone.

Prepare to be jealous.

Because we look...
Fabulous. Ooh!

No!

Oh, you've done it now.

It's Hannah Montana!

Angel, help.

Freeze.

Ok, you know, I don't
want this life anymore.

I want to be Miley again.

I want my friends back.

Too late for that.

Nobody ever gets a second wish.

Angel say what?

This is your life, Hannah.

♪ Whoa, whoa, ooh ♪

Angel, there's got to be a
way to get my old life back.

I told you, superstar,

only one wish per customer.

No refunds or exchanges.

Hey, babe.

You ready for our
picnic on papui?

What in the world is papui?

The island I bought you.

Oh, my gosh.

Jesse McCartney
bought me an island.

I'm sorry, Jesse, I can't.

Why not?

I'm sorta dealing with
something right now, so...

You're so cute

when you're dealing
with something right now.

That's sweet, Jesse, but
I think I need to be alone.

You're so cute when
you need to be alone.

Jesse!

So cute when you say "Jesse."

Get out!

So cute when you kick me out.

I'm serious!

Ow! Still so cute.

Angel, there has got to
be some kind of loophole.

Well, you could... no.

Well, how about if you... uh-uh.

Oh, how about...
Girl, I got nothin'.

Angel, I want my family back,

I want my friends back,

and Miley Stewart does
not take no for an answer.

That's because Miley
Stewart doesn't exist.

Not yet, but...

You'd be surprised what
this girl can do with a wig.

♪ Get your genuine
Hannah Montana trash ♪

♪ we stole it ourselves
and we'll sell it for cash ♪

♪ I got toenail clippings
and that's no hype ♪

♪ clone your own Hannah
while the d.N.A. Is ripe ♪

♪ I said what, I said
what, I said what ♪

♪ I said fricky, fricky,
fricky, fricky word ♪

♪ respect ♪

I mean, where'd she find
that outfit, like ugly-r-us?

More like ugly are her.

We are so funny. And pretty.

I love us.

Time to hydrate, ooh.

Hi. Yeah, whatever.


with lime, pronto.

Anyway, um, I'm Miley,

and I... I'm new here,
and I was just wondering...

Do you want to be friends?

Ok, first, Miley? Stupid name.

"B," I've already got friends,

and cuatro, why don't you
go back to the trailer park,

unhitch, and drive away.

No, no, no, no,
no. I... I can't drive,

but I do skateboard.
Do you skateboard?

As if. It's stupid, it's sweaty,

and hello, who
wants helmet hair?

You do. You used
to love helmet hair

and scabby knees
and elbow-pad rash.

Doesn't that sound like fun?

I took a pretty
girl's karate class.

Hyah!

What happened to
you? You're not like this.

How can you be friends
with Amber and Ashley?

Come on Lilly,
you're better than that.

Ok, how do you know my name?

Wait. Everybody knows my
name because I'm popular.

Well, does everybody
know that you have

a birthmark shaped like
a poodle on your butt?

How'd you do that?

Because I'm your best friend.

And I know somewhere
deep down inside of you,

our friendship is still there.

Come on, look at me.

Really, really look at me.

Come on, Lilly.
Don't you know me?

Oh, my gosh.

Yes! I knew you'd be
able to see the real me.

Of course I can.

The blonde hair's
coming out of the wig.

You're Hannah Montana!

Look everybody,
Hannah Montana's back,

and she knows what's on my butt.

I can't believe I just
said that out loud.

Over here, Hannah, smile.

Come on, baby. Gimme
a little somethin' somethin'.

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

You can't believe
what he bought me.

Marrying that dumb hillbilly

was the smartest
thing I ever did.

♪ Ooh-ooh ♪

Hey, darlin'. You ok? You've
been up here for hours.

No.

Oh, boy. Back ways around.

This may be more than
my loco hot cocoa can cure.

You still make
crazy loco hot cocoa?

Of course I do.

Why would you even ask
a silly question like that?

Because everything's wrong.

Lilly and Oliver aren't
my friends anymore.

Who?

See?

And Jackson moved out.

Nah, nah, nah, now,
that was his choice.

Yeah. But it wouldn't
have been his choice

if I wouldn't have
made that stupid wish

and changed everything.

What wish?

Bud, you're starting to sound
more loco than the cocoa.

Don't you "bud" me.

You're the one that married
a blood-sucking leech

that doesn't even love you.

Aha!

So that's what
this is all about.

You know, your step
mama warned me

you might end up
resentin' her a little bit.

She is so smart
about teenaged girls.

That's 'cause last
year she was one.

Now you hold on
there, young lady.

I understand you bein' upset,

but one thing that
will never change

is you, me, and
our loco hot cocoa.

Oh, there you are.

Hey, I was
wondering... oh, snap.

Is that hot chocolate?

Ew, get it out, get it out.

I'm horribly allergic. I get
massive, massive headaches.

And you know what I am
like when I get my headaches.

Totally.

Adios, loco cocoa.

Daddy, what about
our special drink?

Oh, just drink some
tea. What's the big dif,

whiny little baby.

Robbie, candy needs
a shopping spree

to make her head feel better.

Oh!

♪ You get the best
of one world... ♪

Aw, shut it.

♪ Best of one world ♪

Miley, why did you ever
make that stupid wish?

I hate my life.

I ain't so crazy
about it, either.

Jackson!

You came back.

You're darn tootin'.

I may be a grumpy hermit,

but I still need my reality TV.

Now quiet. Chantelle's
about ready to eat a bug.

Jackson, Jackson.

It's just us. You don't
have to do the voice.

What voice?

Oh, right. Sometimes I forget.

Jackson, you know what?

I don't even care
about the voice.

I'm just so happy you came back.

Welcome home.

D-d-didn't you hear me?

I'm not staying.

But, Jackson, you have to.

I want at least some
of my old life back.

I mean, you and
I weren't perfect.

We fought, but we
loved each other.

And dad loved us, and
there was no evil step mom,

and I had great friends,
and it was all because

the world didn't know I
was Hannah Montana.

A world that didn't know
you were Hannah Montana?

Oh, I'd wish for that any day.

Oh, angel.

Angel, a sh**ting star!

Right when he wished. Come on,

that's gotta count
for something.

Please?

Man, I'm stuck
like this forever.

Congratulations.

What? She found a loophole.

You have yourself
a wonderful life,

Miley.

Oh, look. A sh**ting star.

I wish for an "a"
on the project.

What do you wish for?

I don't wish for anything.

I love my life
exactly the way it is.

Fricky, fricky fresh.

♪ Yo, we're walkin'
down the beach ♪

♪ 'cause we're mega-mega stars ♪

♪ we got girlies to spare ♪

♪ we got tricked-out cars ♪

♪ ah, we're the Malibu crew ♪

♪ and we got each other's back ♪

♪ I'm Ollie, that's
rico, that's a.K.J. Man ♪

♪ we got serious bling-bling ♪

♪ and baggy-waggy pants ♪

♪ so listen to us sing ♪

♪ and watch the
little guy dance ♪

♪ go rico, go rico,
go rico, go rico ♪

peace out.