03x03 - Don't Go Breaking My Tooth

[bunniefuu]

There it is.

Rack of lamb with a mint rosemary pasto.

You know back in high school
I kissed a girl named Rosemary Pasto.

She could've used a mint.

Her breath was very bad.

Oh my gosh,
that totally reminds me when I kissed

Nobody. Absolutely nobody.
I didn't kiss anyone.

I love our relationship.

You pretend you don't kiss boys,
and I pretend I believe you.

Join me tomorrow on Tasty Treats
with Duncan Keats

where my special guest will be Will Smith
and a very unlucky turkey. Bubble!

I could so be on that show, I know tasty treats!

Mile, don't talk with your mouth full,

you're getting pick on that butter
all over my comics.

Sorry

I can't even read Garfield's thought bubbles.

I know dad - the girl eats all like a pig.

You must be so disappointed

With a son like you, a man learns to live with it

Ah, I got a peanut chunk stuck in my tooth

Well why don't you go upstairs and get some floss?

Why would I do that when
I've got a perfectly good fork right here?

Well , don't do that, you're gonna hurt yourself.

I am not.

I think I'm old enough to get a
peanut chunk out of my tooth alone.

Mile!

The fork is stuck in your teeth, isn't it?

No ... help me!

Mile! let me help you with that
before you cr*ck a tooth.

No, I am not going to cr*ck a tooth!

but she might lose a filling!

Yeah, Tim, I really sorry buddy,

I was looking forward to playing
on your album to... but

I got to take my baby girl to
the dentist this afternoon.

Alright buddy, I'll talk to you later, bye.

I can't believe this.

He just told Tim McGragh I'm a baby.

Dad! I am gonna be twenty one in six years!

Oh, so much math for such a widdle girl!

Shut up!

Dad, I am totally capable of going
to the dentist without you.

You ... to the dentist ... without dad!

That is not funny, Jackson.

I perform in front of thousands
of people without him,

I can sure as heck
go to the dentist without Dad.

If you love me, you'll never let him back again.

darling, I see how fast you're growing up,
and I'm proud of you.

But we both know how scared
you get at the dentist.

Dad! That's when I was a kid.

I'm talking about last month.

Just relax, honey.

Dr. Cuddly Cats is just going to clean your teeth.

OK, sweetie, open your "meow-outh".

Come on honney, you heard him. Say "meow".

Come on ... Meo .... argh!

Dad, can we stop living in the past, please?

I'm gonna be driving soon,
I'm practically an adult.

And I am making an adult decision.

You are playing with Tim McGragh,

and I am going to the dentist without you.

That was my dinner!

Hey, would you like some
mustard or ketchup with that?

Oh yeah, I could use some mustard.

Don't have any.

Well how about some ketchup?

All out!

Then why did you ask?

Well excuse me for trying to be polite!

Hey guys!

Lily! How can you eat that stuff?

Yeah, don't you guys know that

red meat is a major contributer
to clogged arteries?

Oh sorry, when we got cable,

we didn't order the
"bore you to tears" package.

Suit yourself.

But while you're drowning in cholesterol,

we'll be down at the beach,
having a healthy vege salad

with green beans, peas, and ... hikamah!

Well come on, Oliver.

OK ... you know what, Joannie, honey

why don't you ...

why don't you go and find us a good spot
and I'll grab us some drinks.

Oh, OK ... I'll miss you.

I'll miss you more!

I am so sickamah of hikamuh!

Then you shouldn't have told Joannie
you wouldn't eat meat.

I did for love!

Bland, tasteless ... vegetarian love.

Oh, excuse me.

Oh! Hot dog burp!

That's so good.

Get away from me!

Ok!

I can't believe you're doing all this for a girl
who hasn't even kissed you yet.

back up the love train engineer Bob!

Someone forgot to get off at Looserville!

She's taking it slow, OK!

She's been b*rned a couple of times
in the past and

she wants to make sure I'm not a freak.

Burp on me again!

Yeap, you are quite a catch!

OK, you know what,
I'm gonna be worthy of her trust.

Alright! I can do this!

Could you just start...

Fine!

Oh yeah, that all to hold me, thanks!

Rico, I know that look.

Don't mess with Oliver

I'm not going to mess with him.

In fact, I'm gonna change the menu
to fit his specific needs

Welcome to Rico's Meat mania!

All meat, all the time.

Just for you.

Oh yeah

It's the promised land!

Oliver, what's the matter?

I dropped a contact meat ... lens.

the contact lens.

Let's walk the other plate ... way,
Let's walk the other way

Oliver? Yes dear.

You know the best part of
having you as a sister is?

No, what?

How's hoping you could tell me,
cause I got nothing

So what? you had to drive me here!

Quit whining!

Just be happy we finally found you a chair
where your feet touch the ground.

I hope they run out of Novocain

- Thanks a lot!
- Sorry!

Don't worry about it, sweetie, he makes all the girls cry.

Miley! Dr. Froman is ready for you.

Froman?

No, see ... I think you're making a mistake.

My dentist is Dr. Reynolds, you know, about

"yay" high, curly hair, always wears the kitty ears.
Says open your "meow".

Oh, I'm sorry, he's "me-out" today

But Dr. Froman's subbing
and he is an excellent dentist.

Um ... OK ... I ... I can do that

Do you want me to call your daddy?

OK, Molly!
Open up and lets see what we've got

It's Miley, and how about
we get to know each other first?

Fine, I'm a dentist, open up!

No, no, no! Ar ...

how long have you been a kids dentist?

About forty-five minutes,
now can we get on with this, Milred?

It's Miley.

We're never gonna see each other again,
who cares?

Now open!

OK, um ... how's this?

It's not open

Really? Yeah, I'm getting air through it.

Listen! I can see that you're nervous,

if it's any comfort, I'm nervous too.

I don't have kids!
Never really got the appeal.

But since we're both here,

Let's ... get down, get funky.

What?

I'm trying to be relatable!

To what, the nineteen seventies?

Look Matilda!

if you'd rather see Dr. Reynolds tomorrow,

I wouldn't mind. In fact, I'd be overjoyed!

No! I have to do this,
I'm not a child anymore.

But if wearing Dr. Reynold's kitty ears
makes you less nervous

that's cool.

If it gets us done,
I'll wear a hula skirt and a coconut bra.

The kitty ears a fine, thank you.

Here we go. Perfect.

Now, let's try this again.

Aren't you gonna say,
let's see those purrly whites?

Fine, lets' see your pearly whites.

No, it's purr. like a kitty! Purr!

Purr

Purr. Roll your tongue.

Purr!

Purr! With the little ...

Let's see those "purr-ly" whites.

OK! You need to come back tomorrow

No, please! I told my daddy
I could do this without him.

I can't go home until I have my tooth fixed.

Please, Dr. Froman look!
Open wide, come on in!

OK!

I'm just going to numb you up a bit

You may feel a slight pinch.

Yeah, right! Nice meeting you!

You too, Mabel.

- Lily ...
-Lily ...

I'm the one in pain here!

You think it's easy seeing you like this?

Think about someone else for a change, gosh!

I know, I am just so selfish.

sh**ting pain does that to a person!

Miley, you're not gonna be able to
keep this from your dad,

you might as well just tell him.

I can't!

Ow,
Ow,

- Stop it!
- sorry!

I already made a huge deal about
how I could go to the dentist alone.

If he find out that I didn't get my tooth fixed,
he's gonna think that I got scared and ran out.

But you did get scared and run out!

I did not run I walked quickly and with purpose

Are you kidding? She ran out there so fast that
she left skid marks on a couple of five year olds!

Hey! That is only because I got stuck with
doctor "Let's get down, get funky"

Tomorrow, I'm gonna go to
my dentist Dr. Reynolds,

get my tooth fixed, and Dad will never know.

You did that on purpose

No, Sometimes I just get lucky.

Your dad's home

Quick! Get rid of this ice pack!

What?

Oh, chilly on the Lily.

There's my big girl! How did it go?

Ar ... easy peasy, lemon squeezy!

Well I gotta say I'm a little surprised
and a whole lot proud!

Good for you bud,
Good for you!

Thank-you daddy. I'm feeling the love.

Well I'm glad everything worked out,
cause now I got a surprise for you.

Guess what teen pop sensation is
gonna be chowing down with

Duncan Keats in the morning?

Ashley Tisdale?

No! honey, They had a cancellation

and I know how much you love the show
so I got you in!

Yay... Miley!

Yay ... me!

If it isn't my favorite meatless meat head!

What happened?

I was waiting for Joannie and then
everything went all beefy.

Oh man, Rico! dude,
why did you do this to me?

I'm rich and bored. It's just what I do!

Oliver?

Oh no.

Oh, hey Jo -

Don't you dare!

How are you going to stop me?

One word. Please!

Alright, I got a heart.

I'll give you thirty seconds
to make a run for it!

Thirty seconds?

You're right. Twenty.

I personally,
don't think you're gonna make it.

Hello!

Wow, Rico - what happened here?

Don't know.
Must have been a pack of wild dogs.

I'm guessing
... ten ... nine ... eight ... So, ar ...

where's your boyfriend?

I don't know,
I was supposed to meet him here.

Really?
You should call him.

As a matter of fact, I'll do it for you.

Oliver?

Oliver is not at home!

Oh hey Joannie. You found me.

Now it's your turn to hide.

One ... two ... three ...

Where did Joannie go?
she's still here.

All right Joannie, I ate meat.

I'm not proud of it,
but I did, and I'm sorry.

So you're not mad at me?

You told me the truth.

And that's more important to me
than whether you eat meat or not

Really?
So all I have to do is tell you the truth?

Absolutely

Great!

Well, your hair's greasy and
would it k*ll you to put on a little eyeliner?

- Don't push it
- Yes dear

There it is. Duncan's thirty-minute moose.

And here's a tip:

You know it's done,

when you turn it over,
and it can stay in the bowl

OK, here's another tip:

Watch Emerald,
he knows what he's doing. Bubble!

Don't worry that was just a stunt moose.

The real moose is in the back
hitting on a sweet apple tart.

Ow, that's hot!

Don't go anywhere,

because the incredible Hannah
Montana is coming up next.

We'll be right back! I give to much!

Oh, you're a little shiny,
let me get that for you

Oh, that's good.

Oh, just a little more.

No, no, really, that's good.

- Just a little ...
- That is good.

All done

That Duncan is funny.

It makes me wish
I was a guest on the show.

What a great idea!

You really do deserve a treat
and I am overexposed as it is.

Hannah this, Hannah that.
Even I'm sick of me.

Have fun in the spotlight, see you.

Oh no ... no, honey!

we both know it's you the fans
want to see chopping there.

I know I do!

So Hannah, tell me, what do you think?

Just tell me you love it.
This is TV, nobody cares about the truth.

Honestly Duncan, it is delicious.

Soft, creamy, and well, delicious!

You could not have made me
a more perfect dessert.

- I love you man.
- Oh well ...

Well, we're all done here.
thank-you

Oh no, we're not all done,
because I have you a very special treat.

And here it is.

Grandma Kiss, homemade toffee bar,
with a hard, crunchy peanut brittle shell.

Or as Grandma calls it, the Molar Masher.

Chief boy are you kidding me, say what?

You're gonna love it.

Ar, you know what, actually,
I'm still loving the moose.

It's all your fault for
making it so darn good.

You don't know what you're missing

I think I do.

Isn't she cute?

Seriously, enough with the moose.

But I'm not done!

- Yes, you were
- No, I'm not.

Let loose them. I'm moose.

Oopsies!

Eat Grandmas' bom

No thank-you, I'm good.

- Eat Grandmas' bom!
- No!

Eat Grandmas' bom! ...
Eat Grandmas' bom!

I'm full.

- Eat it!
- Yes, sir.

maybe ... maybe just a little taste.

Thank-you.

You know, considering what
happened on the show,

It was awful nice of Duncan
to loan you that frozen fish!

Tell you what, when we get home,

I might just cook it up for you!

Just for the hal-abit. Hal-abit!

Dad, just cause you say it twice,
doesn't make it funny.

Well what else could I do, honney!
You left me floundering out there!

Floun-dering!

I wish I had a boyfriend that funny!

That's my dad!

I know. I was just fishing. fishing!

Yeah. Anyhow, are,

We're going to get that tooth fixed
honey, don't you worry about it.

I'm gonna be standing in there right
beside you holding your little hand.

Daddy, come on.

I did not go through all this molar-mashing
pain to be right back where I started.

You're staying out here.

Miley! The Doctor is ready for you!

And I am ready for him!

See you later daddy.

Mile!

you haven't moved yet.

Dang it, I am such a wimp.

Oh, you're not a wimp.
You're just scared.

That's OK.

Remember when you were four?
You were afraid to jump in a pool

but eventually you did that.

When you were eight,
you were scared to ride your bike

you eventually did that.

One of these days you're gonna walk
right through that door all by yourself.

But just not today
That's OK too.

Miley!

I promise daddy,
next time I really will do this alone.

Don't worry about it.
Everybody grows up of their own pace.

I totally destroyed your shields, Jeremy!

- Did not!
- Did to!

Dad!

Everyone?

Well, a father can dream.

You're a sweet young thing,
and you smell so fine.

You mean the world to me.
I'm so happy that you're mine.

Don't want no taste of sushi
or chicken pot's pie.

just wanna hear you sizzle
my smoking hot rib pie.

Roast meat!

Say what, say what?

Roast meat!

Say what, say what!

Some people call you fattie,
but I love you just like daddy,

now pop on my fork and
say hello a load big daddy

Yo! Get your hands off my girl!