01x16 - Vanny Dearest

[bunniefuu]

Kyra, you made straight a's on your
report card. Honey, that's great!

Why didn't you tell me?

I guess 'cause nothing I do seems like
big news with cheyenne and van around.

I'm lucky if I can get a sentence
out before... [cheyenne] oh, my god!

Huge news! Huge news!

Exhibit "a."

Guess who got named all-city
football player of the year!

Kyra hart, for her
straight "a" report card?

No. No, I did! Me! Van!

Congratulations!
Oh, thanks, mrs. H.

There's gonna be a big awards
banquet saturday night. Can you come?

Boy, I don't know. Hmm.

Well, lookee there. I'm free every
saturday night till the end of time.

That's great!

You know, this award just
confirms what I've always known.

You are so on your
way to the nfl. Yeah.

You've got muscles and talent...

And a beautiful trophy wife.

[cheyenne] aw.

That is what I was gonna say.

You know, I always dreamed
about winning "player of the year"...

And standing there
and thanking my parents.

Now they're gonna miss it.

[cheyenne] serves them right
after the way they've treated you.

Yeah. Let them read
about it in the paper.

Paper? We're gonna
be in the paper?

I'd better go
pick out an outfit.

Hey, guys, there's
more good news!

Let it go, mom. I am
not gonna let it go.

Kyra, you made straight a's.

Hey! How about we have a
big family dinner to celebrate?

I'd rather have cash.

♪♪ [country]

♪ my roots are
planted in the past ♪

♪ though my life
is changing fast ♪

♪ who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ a single mom who
works too hard ♪

♪ who loves her
kids and never stops ♪

♪ with gentle hands and
the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪♪

[cheyenne] hey, van,

We need to choose
between bradley or lamaze.

Well, bradley if it's a boy,
but I don't know about lamaze.

No. No, no, no. I'm talking
about childbirth classes.

Look at this one. You can
actually have a baby underwater.

You know, whales do that.

Is that a slam?

Hey, reba. Hmm.

Hey, "player of the year." Huh?

I wrote down a few things you might
want to say about your favorite coach.

Great. Now who's
my favorite coach?

Send jake and
kyra down, will ya?

Oh, kyra's goin'
to a slumber party.

It's just you and
jake tonight. No kyra?

Well, hey, maybe I'll
finally win at poker.

You know, it's a shame the montgomerys
won't be there for van's banquet.

Such a big day.

His parents should be
there. I know he misses 'em.

Yeah, I guess
sometimes it's hard...

To stop lovin' people, even
when they treat you like crap.

It gets easier with practice.

- Hey, dad.
- Hey, cowboy!

Listen. B.j.'S visitin' her mom,
so it's just us men tonight.

Cool!

Maybe you men can
eat somethin' that

Doesn't come with
fries and a toy this time.

Hey, that's not all I feed him.

On mondays, I have buffalo
wings and a shirley temple.

That's only durin'
football season.

Excuse me. Is sue
montgomery in your class?

Are you kidding?
She's in every class.

Okay. I'll just warm up then.

Well, hello to you too.

Sue. Sue montgomery.

What a surprise.

Reba hart. [Chuckles] I didn't
know you worked out.

Me? [Scoffs] I've been
workin' out here for years.

Really? Six months ago this
was a mexican restaurant.

Ever try liftin' those burritos?

So, did you hear that van
was named "player of the year"?

My vanny's "player
of the year"? Yes, he is.

[Gasps] and the awards
banquet is saturday night.

I know it'd make him really
happy if his parents were there.

Oh, i-i-i wish I could go,

But I'm afraid I can't.

Well, sure you can. You
just get in the car and go.

People in worse shape
than you do it every day.

Reba, we are trying
to send van a message...

That we do not
approve of his marriage.

Oh, he got the message
when you threw him out.

But he's still your son.

Though I don't totally
understand it, he misses you.

I miss him too.

But I'm afraid his father
has made up his mind.

So, what's the deal, you
two sharin' one brain?

Your son is "player of the
year." You should be there.

One, two, three, four.

[brock] if I could
be any animal,

I believe I'd be an octopus.

Yuck! Why?

Well, because then I'd have
eight arms to tickle you with.

[Chuckling] that's funny.

Eh, I'm glad you think so.

Your mom never seemed
to care for that one.

[Sighs]

- What's the matter? Aren't you hungry?
- You made it wrong.

[Scoffs] I believe I know how to
make a grilled cheese sandwich.

No, you don't.

Call mom.

Come on, jake. Just try it.

Open the hangar, here comes
the plane. [Imitates plane sound]

Dad? I'm seven.

Okay. Well, if you
won't eat it, I will.

I'm serious. Here I go.

I'm almost eating.
Chewing's about to begin.

Mmm.

I believe I'm gonna
eat the whole thing.

Want milk?

Hey, which makes me
sound more honored...

"I'm honored today,"
or "today, I'm honored"?

Is that the photographer from
the chronicle? van, how do I look?

Oh, I'm not gettin' into
that rat's nest again.

So, how'd everything go
with you and jake last night?

Great.

We really connect.

It's not all about grilled
cheese sandwiches, you know.

Although, I must say, i-i
do make a pretty good one.

Say, say listen.

What do you think his favorite
grilled cheese ingredient is?

Well, I don't know, brock. There's
the bread and there's the cheese.

Pretty much a dead heat.

Long as you cut the
crust off, he's happy.

Of course.

You gotta cut the crust off.

The coach from smu is
glomming all over van!

I think they're gonna
offer him a scholarship.

Oh, I am so proud of you!

- I'm proud of you too, vanny.
- mom?

You're here! I can't believe it.

Well, I wouldn't miss
this for anything.

I'm so glad you came. Oh, honey.

What is she doing here?

Oh, I might have mentioned it
the other day when I ran into her.

Where would you've
run into van's mom?

[Chuckling] at my pilates class.

Mom, she is not a nice person.

Oh, honey, I know.
But she's his mother.

There's a strong maternal
bond that even years...

Of selfishness and
exercise can't undo.

Does dad know you're here? He got
pretty upset when I told him I was coming,

But I laid down the law.

I said, "dan, I'm
going to the gym."

You go, girl.

I wouldn't be here
if it weren't for you.

Yeah, thanks, mrs. H.

[Mocking] yeah, thanks, mrs. H.

I can't say enough
how honored I am...

By this honor.

When I think of all the other
players you could have honored,

I am truly, deeply...

Honored.

I also want to say thanks
to coach and mrs. Hart.

But most of all,

I want to thank a very
special woman in my life.

someone who has
always been there for me.

My mom.

That's not what I wrote.

[No audible dialogue]

can you believe this?
Look who's on van's arm.

Is it his trophy wife?

No, it's his mother.

So, you're not in one picture.
Honey, you're about to have a baby,

And there's gonna be a lot of
other pictures... That you're not in.

You know, it's not
just about the picture.

Last night was supposed
to be my big night.

I thought it was supposed
to be van's big night.

The point is she ruined it.

I still can't believe
that you invited her.

Cheyenne, at least she's
making an effort now.

i think it's good for van.

I wish they'd spend more
time together. [knocking]

- Hello.
- Mom, next time
wish for a pony.

Sue, what are you doing here?

Well, it was so nice
seeing vanny last night...

That i-i thought I'd like
to see him off to school.

Well, you're just in time.
Have you had breakfast?

Not in five years. [Chuckles]

But look at you. What a marvel you
are. Busily cooking for your children.

Well, I tried skipping it, but
they chew on the furniture.

Oh, that delightful
small-town humor.

It's charming. I'm
serious though.

You put your children's
lives ahead of your own,

And that is
impressive. Thank you.

There's no man in your life.
You don't try to look good.

It is all about the kids.

Here, sue. Why don't you
put something in your mouth?

Did you see the
picture in the paper?

Oh, yeah.

You know, it's true what they say
about the camera adding 10 pounds.

Mommy! Vanny!

sh**t me!

Honey, are you
wearing plaid to school?

Because, you know, you
look so much cuter in solids.

I'll go change.

Mom says I look cuter in solids.

[Sighs]

My sweet, little kyra.

Hair so long.

So very, very long.

Mom, make it stop.

All righty then.
It's getting late.

Time to go to school. Don't
want you to miss the bus.

Bye-bye, honey. Have a
good day at school. Bye, mom.

[Mumbles] bye.

Mmm. Oh, yes. This is so quaint.

Bye, mrs. H. Bye, darlin'.

Bye, mom. Bye, son.
Oh! Here we go. Zip!

I could've done that.

Okay. What's next?

Well, the door's still open.

[Gasps] oh! [Chuckling]

Well, you know, I thought I'd just hang
out here with you u-until van gets home.

In eight hours.

Sure. What do we do while
our children are at school?

Well, today I have to pay
bills, vacuum the stairs...

And make 18 name tags
for jake's cub scout den.

Oh, that sounds great. I would
love to watch you do all that.

Just let me know
if you get tired.

I hope you're hungry.

- Nope.
- What? No, jake. Look!

I cut the crust
off and everything.

I'll just have milk.

Okay. Look, son.

I think I know what
this is all about.

We haven't talked
about the divorce and...

Look, i-i just want
you to know that...

Even though your mother
and I aren't together anymore,

I will always be your father.

And I will always love you.

So, please, don't be mad at me.

I'm not.

Your bread has stuff in it.

That's what's wrong?
The seven-grain bread?

It's like eating sand.

Oh, I'm so happy to hear that.

Oh!

I'm hungry.

I tell you what. Let's
forget about grilled cheese.

Hey, you like peanut
butter and banana, right?

Yeah. Well, son,

This is your lucky day, 'cause I just
happen to make an incredible snack...

Involving peanut butter,
banana and crackers.

We'll call it... The
"dad and jake special."

Is that peanut butter chunky?

- Yeah.
- That's my favorite!

I knew that.

Reba, that dinner
looked delicious.

You should've eaten some.
It was great. Thanks, mrs. H.

Oh, thank kyra. She's the
one that got the straight a's.

I'll never make
that mistake again.

Reba, can I do anything?
I don't know. Can ya?

Oh, I'll take these over.

Look.

Reba and I made pie.

Uh, van, have you read the
brochures on the birthing classes?

Oh, no. I forgot. I'm sorry.

Van, we need to choose a
birthing class before I give birth.

I'll make a decision. Mom, what kind
of birthing class should we take?

I didn't ask your
mother. I asked you.

And I'll answer you as
soon as my mom tells me.

You know what? Maybe you and
your mom should have this baby.

Mom, you better
choose a class quick. Oh.

No, no, no. You stay here.

Well, I'm glad this
dinner's all about me.

cheyenne?

Okay, lamaze. Or that
underwater thing.

Man, what is her problem?

I'll give you a little
hint. It's your mom.

Van, I like your mom,
but... You like my mom?

Well, I'm glad she's
back in your life, but...

Maybe she's a little too
much back in your life.

Is this about her tucking me in?

Van, when your mom's around, you're not
making any of your own decisions anymore.

Yeah, but that's
what's great about it.

I don't have to. It's
like living at home.

But you're married. You're
gonna be a father soon.

All your responsibilities have
changed. They're different now.

You can't be your
mama's little boy anymore.

It's time to cut
the apron strings.

She's kind of
bugging you, isn't she?

This isn't about me.

Mom, she's measuring
jake for a sailor suit.

Okay. Now she's bugging me.

Sue?

- She's gone.
- [Sighs]

Coast is clear.

- Is she really gone?
- Yeah.

What'd you do, drive a
stake through her heart?

Kyra!

I did what you told me, mrs. H.

I told her it was time
to leave, and she left.

Good job, honey.

She said, "good-bye forever."

Wait a minute. What
do you mean "forever"?

Well, she said, "good-bye
forever," but she'll fold...

After five or six years.

Why is everything so
extreme with your family?

Where are you going?

Back to my pilates class.

No street shoes on the mats.

Sue, we have to talk. I'm not
sure what there is to talk about.

Van said he wanted
me out of the house.

Out of the house doesn't
mean out of his life.

Oh, yes it does. I should have
realized he never wanted me there.

He wasn't the one
who asked me back.

Van wanted you back...
Maybe not as a roommate.

Look. It wasn't van who
wanted you out. It was me.

What? You bug me.

You're like a really
skinny shadow. How skinny?

Sue, focus.

All right. Okay.

Maybe I did overdo it...

With the "happy
homemaker" thing,

But I only did it because I
wanted to be a better mom.

Like you. You know, I see how
you connect with your kids.

You know, with the hugs
and the muffins and that.

I-i-i just wanted a little
of that for vanny and me.

Sue, I think it's great that
you want to be a good mom.

But can't you do
it at your house?

Oh, I can't cook and
clean at my house.

I have people for that.

Sue, I'm not a good mom
because I'm my kids' maid...

Although I can see where
you might get that impression.

But if you want to connect
with van, just talk to him.

Have coffee. Or bring him down here
and bounce on that big ball or something.

But be a part of the
important moments in his life.

I want to be there.

But I just don't know
how to be there...

For him without being
there all the time.

Well, that's something
all mamas have to learn...

When their kids grow
up and leave the house.

I only hope that one day I get the
opportunity to learn how myself.

I do want to be a
part of my son's life.

After all, my
baby's having a baby.

Mine too.

Oh, dear god! We're
both going to be grannies.

You were doing so well.