02x11 - A Moment in Time

[bunniefuu]

Come on, sweet baby.
Crawl to aunt kyra.

Crawl to aunt kyra. I know
you can do it. Yes, you can.

Wudgie, wudgie, wudgie. [reba]
oh, so you do have a heart.

Hope it'll stick to the tape.

Oh, my gosh, mom.
She did it. She crawled.

[Chuckling] you big
girl. Yes, you did.

You crawled.
Come on. Do it again.

come on. Kyra,
do your baby talk.

[Scoffs] I don't know what she's
talking about. Granny's had some cider.

Knock it off.

I wanna try to capture all the
important moments in elizabeth's life.

Yeah! Oh, sure. Just
like you did with jake.

The only video we have of him is you
going to the hospital to deliver him.

That's only because
dad had a new car.

Yeah, maybe you're right. But
we're gonna do this for elizabeth.

I wanna do a video for her so later
on she knows how much she meant to us.

You mean when she runs
away, she'll know why?

And there goes aunt kyra, off
to practice her cheerleading.

Come on, elizabeth. You run away
from grandma like aunt kyra did.

Come on. Wudgie,
wudgie, woo. [Coos]

There she goes. Oh,
yeah. Look at her go!

[reba] ha, hey!

♪ my roots are
planted in the past ♪

♪ though my life
is changing fast ♪

♪ who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ a single mom who
works too hard ♪

♪ who loves her
kids and never stops ♪

♪ with gentle hands ♪

♪ and the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪♪

I gotta tell you, mom.

I think making this video for
elizabeth is an awesome idea.

What if I say somethin'
stupid on the tape?

If?

Oh, this is just so
excitin'... Being on the set.

That's movie talk.

And, reba, since you're the
director, you need to call, "action."

And then, when we're all
done, that's called a wrap.

barbra jean, take five.

Okay. Does everybody know what
they're gonna say to elizabeth?

I'm mad at elizabeth. She
put my game boy in the toilet.

Okay.

I'm gonna tell elizabeth that
she's a pearl on the necklace of life.

Ah. Ohh.

That's really
nice, van. [Laughing]

Okay. Everybody just act
natural and be yourselves.

That's impossible. Haven't you ever heard
about the heisenberg uncertainty principle?

The observer changes
the nature of the observed.

No, but I have heard the one about
the man from nantucket. [Laughing]

Up high.

Okay, kyra. You go first.

- You really want me
to act natural?
- Yeah.

Okay, I'm going to the mall.

[reba] okay, van. You're up.
why do I have to go first?

Cheyenne, why don't
you go first? No way.

Nobody ever pays attention to
the one who goes first. Mom, you go.

- No, I'm going last.
- Why do you get to go last?

'Cause I didn't get pregnant
when I was 17, that's why.

[No audible dialogue]

Reba, you can't expect people
to perform in front of everybody.

you gotta do it in private.

That way people can
organize and theorize...

Without the pressure
of all your eyes.

She's been listening to
a lot of rap music lately.

You know, you got a
good point there. i do?

This might be easier if we did
this without everybody watching.

Yeah, we could... We could
set the camera up in our room.

Okay, let's go. Yeah.

Ooh, we're going on location.

Okay. Just about set.

Hey, how's my hair?
Fine. How's mine?

Fine. No, wait.

[No audible dialogue]

Okay. When it's your turn,
sit right there where jake is.

And when you're ready, turn
on the camera with this remote.

Now, brock got the short
straw, so he goes first.

Hey, bud, you sure you don't
wanna go first with that pearl line?

You know, it's always
good to open with a joke.

Just go first, short straw.

So, kyra's really not
gonna do this, huh?

You know kyra. She's at that age where
she don't want to be a part of the family.

You hit that age
about 40, right, brock?

[door closes]

Okay, now. [Clears throat]

[Beeps] so, hi there, elizabeth.

Well, you're my first grandchild,
and that means the world to me.

See, my boy henry, your uncle...

[Chuckles] was born
the same year.

It was a pretty wild year.

Well, by the time you see this,

You'll probably have heard some
pretty sordid stories about barbra jean.

I just wanna take this opportunity
to set the record straight.

Okay. What really
happened was...

Elizabeth is gonna love this.
Talking on that tape was so hard.

I almost cried, like, twice.

Is that what that
noise was? What?

You were listening at the door?

Well, I tried. I couldn't
hear you or your dad.

[cheyenne gasps] and usually
your voice cuts through anything.

Hey, that was
supposed to be private.

What's the big deal, brock? What
horrible, evil things did you say?

Yeah, mr. H. What are
you so worried about?

[Chuckling] nothing.
I just... I... I got...

I got all mushy, and...
And it's embarrassing.

Nobody likes a
sensitive dentist.

He said something
stupid. Let's watch it.

No! No! [reba] no.

- Nobody's gonna watch anything.
- Because you got
somethin' to hide?

- What?
- You said something
bad about me.

That's what I forgot.

Ha-ha. Look, everybody...

Okay. Let's just calm down.

Reba, when are you taking the
tape to the safe deposit box?

- Monday morning.
- Fine. I'll drop it off here
on my way to work.

Now... Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
What do you think you're doing?

All right. There are two of
us, but there are three of you,

Which means, statistically, there's
a greater chance of betrayal...

If the tape stays here
than if it goes with us.

Math don't lie. Right.

Yeah, but brock
does. Hey... You...

I'm gonna keep it
safe and sound,

Locked right
here in this cabinet.

Mm-hmm? Mm-hmm? Hmm?

[key clatters]

Okay, fine.

But come monday morning, I
am going to the bank with you.

And you can take
that to the bank.

Get it, brock? To the bank.
Yeah, yeah. Let's just go, okay?

What'd you say on the tape?

For the millionth time, van,

I cannot tell you.

What'd you say on the tape?

[knocking]

- Hey, have you guys eaten yet?
- [Together] no.

Great. We've got
somethin' to show you.

Ta-da.

You came all the way over here
to show us a cooking gadget?

Not just any cooking gadget.

The george foreman lean,
mean, a-grillin' machine.

- Well, how does it work?
- I'm glad you asked, van.

You can cook chicken and beef,

But the fat runs into the
pan instead of your food.

It's a party for your taste buds
without the hangover for your waistline.

It practically has
a mind of its own.

Every meal it yells,
"reba's comin'! Reba's comin'!"

Brock, what the heck
do you think you're doin'?

Nothin'.

He was tryin' to switch the
tapes. You... You tape switcher!

- Is that true, dad?
- I was just nervous
about what I said.

You two should be ashamed
of yourselves. [Gasps]

The tape has been moved.

And the lock has been picked!

I didn't touch it. I... I was
going to, but I didn't. Honest.

Well, somebody moved
the tape. So, who was it?

Come on. Whoever
did it, just admit it.

Ahh...

Mm-hmm.

It was cheyenne.

She's got ice in her veins.

It was not me. No, van,
it was probably you.

Yeah, you were asking me what I
said on the tape just to throw me off.

And then you accused me
to throw me off even more.

I am not that clever. Ha!

Well, I know who it was.

It was mom. [gasping]

Mm-hmm.

I'm the one who told everybody
the tape had been moved.

If I watched it, why
would I tell on myself?

[Brock] right. She's got
a point, I think. Right.

One person watched
everything on this tape.

if somebody doesn't speak up,

We're all gonna sit right
down and watch it together.

It's the only fair thing to do.

[Pants]

Come on, somebody. Confess!

Okay then. No! [Yelling]

Reba,

I think you're making
a huge mistake.

[Chuckles]

Said the man who
married barbra jean.

[Brock on tv] well, it's kind
of a funny story actually.

You see, your
grandma reba and i...

Sat down and decided together...

That we didn't want
to be married anymore.

and then, a long,

Long time after that...

At least a year,
maybe even more...

barbra jean came to
work for me at my office.

And although the
attraction was strong,

We waited until long
after the divorce was final...

Before... We went
out for coffee.

And that's what really happened.

[brock continues, indistinct]
very nice, brock.

I was telling her the
story, and it sounded bad.

So I decided to fib a little,
and that made it even worse.

And that's why I wanted
to change the tape.

Are you ashamed of me, brock?

No. Of course not,
honey. I love you.

Not on my couch.

And so in one crazy year,

I was blessed with two babies.

all I can hope for you...

Is that you realize you have the best
women in the whole world as examples.

there's nobody better than
your grandma reba and your mom.

They love you more
than you know, and so do i.

Be good.

I guess I'm not one of the
best women in the world.

Ohh... I was speaking in the
context of elizabeth's life.

Sure you were. I'm glad I
know where I stand with you.

Down in the gutter
with the common folk.

Hey, common
folk, zip it. Zip it.

Hi there, sweetie.

This is so nerve-racking
talking to you like this.

there's so much
that I want to say.

I mean, wow. Where do I start?

So much to say.

Like, a lot.

Apparently not.

Shut up, van.

Uh, you being here has
made me grow up so much.

I was in high school, worried
about stuff like the drill team, and...

Then you came along and
showed me what life is all about.

oh, you have a great
family and a great dad.

He is so wonderful.

And I'm sure by the time you see
this, he's gonna be a great man.

[van sighs]

I'll be a great man?

- What's wrong with that?
- What, I'm not now?

Van, don't overreact.
Cheyenne loves you.

Yeah, apparently she has
high hopes for her big loser.

and I hope that you love
me as much as I love my mom.

Oh, and I apologize in
advance if I'm always

In your face, and I'm
a little controlling.

It's how I was raised.

"It's how I was raised"?

What does that
mean? I'm controlling?

Oh, yeah. Oh,

It has been mentioned.

Well, I bet van disagrees.

Don't overreact, mrs.
H. Cheyenne loves you.

If that's the way
you feel about it, fine.

What's up?

[Sighs] yo.

Hey, I'm... I'm talking
to you from our room.

Controlling? I think that's a bunch
of bull hockey. That's what I think it is.

We all sleep in here together.

Every night when I lay
down, I hear you breathing.

And it makes me know that
everything is right in the world.

well, not everything. Like
that pump at the gas station...

I mean, I put a quarter in,
and it didn't give me any air.

Hello? It should
be free. It's air.

okay, wait. Wait.
Focus here. Focus.

[Sighs]

I'm really glad you came along.

Because if you hadn't, I'm sure I
wouldn't have been married to your mom.

You're the reason
we're a family.

Thank you.

i love you.

Stop the tape, mom.

- What the hell was that?
- What?

If it weren't for the baby, you
wouldn't have married me? [Scoffs]

I'm just saying, I was really young,
and unless you were pregnant,

I probably would have
been single for a while.

Keep talking, cowboy. You
just might get your wish.

Okay. Okay. All right.
Easy does it here.

Okay. All right, this is getting
way too much out of hand.

Uh, I think it'd be a good idea if we
don't watch any more of the tape.

Oh, yeah, right. Before we
see yours? I don't think so.

[chattering, arguing] let's
go. Roll it up. Come on.

I have one thing to say to you.

The game boy is not waterproof.

Shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh.

Gosh. Last time I was videotaped
in a bedroom, I didn't know about it.

Elizabeth, you're a
very lucky little girl.

And the only way I can express
my feelings is through song.

it's a little ditty called
"wind beneath my wings."

♪♪ [Blows note]

♪♪ [Sings note]

[Tape speeding, no singing]

Hey there, my sweet
little elizabeth.

This is your grandma.

I want to tell you
that no matter what...

You can always come
to me with any problem.

if there's ever anything that you
feel like you can't tell your mama,

i'll help you.

And I'll not judge you. I'll
never betray your trust.

I'm your safe place.

safe from harm or
judgment or retribution.

As long as I'm on this
earth, you'll have me.

You are a pearl...

In the necklace of life.

That was mine!

Well, it sounded better coming
from me than it would from you!

Oh! You take from van?

He's the guy with
the least to spare!

Plus, how could you encourage
my daughter to lie to me?

I am her mother, not you.

- I didn't tell her to lie.
- [Chuckling] you kinda did, reba.

oh, yeah. And sometimes some of
the best women in the world are liars!

Oh.

I wouldn't talk, mr. H. What
you did was kind of low.

Oh, really? Lower than
telling your daughter...

You wouldn't have
married her mom?

Well, maybe someday, way off in
the future, I'll be a better person.

'Cause right now I'm scum!

Oh, you are such a child.

- Oh, you are.
- No, you are. No backsies!

Okay, I want to rerecord
mine so I can use my material.

Oh, no, no. Nobody's
gonna rerecord anything.

Maybe that's why they
call you controlling.

Oh. Well, it would have
been nice... [Chuckling]

If you'd have been more
controlling over what's in your pants!

[Chattering, arguing]

Hey there, elizabeth.

Shh. Kyra. Kyra took the tape.

Sit down. Sit down.

No matter what anyone
has said before me,

I'm the only one
you should trust.

See, this family has its issues.

But I know that no matter
what, when I get up in the morning,

They'll always be here
arguing and battling,

And then laughing
about it later.

you coming along has
made this place even crazier,

But it taught me that life is
messy, unpredictable, tough...

And sometimes really great.

Really great.

Oh, you probably already know
this by now, but watch out for my mom.

She'll try to make you do
stuff and be all controlling,

But it's just because she
wants you to have a good life.

and she likes to hug
a lot, and it's gross.

I love you, kid.

Hey, I just called
someone "kid."

Wudgie, wudgie, wudgie.

[Sighs]

Okay. Nobody tell
her we saw this tape.

[door closes]

What?

[Chattering]

Cut it out!

acme! [Coughing]