01x06 - Roommates

[bunniefuu]

that's it I like Star Wars ah dadada

splendid just a few more strokes and all

of the Bubba Fett action figures on ISA

will be mine

suction closed hello success Oh G prime

is the winner of a 1976 official Laverne

& Shirley thermos final cost 1 million

dollars the hell well I can fix that

they're high staff correction

G prime wins a paper bag why a paper bag

so he can learn to pack is way out of it

Oh someone wants a w*r well eco

now whatever dude this is a man of skill

a man of cunning a man of um a girl a

girl oh good evening G Prime

prepare to be frank

on my computer stream

our lives on a GPS they seem to get the

girl

but anyway

we met we just wanted sex you don't say

pretty soon those uppity women folk will

be wanting the vote not this one man

she's been a bad bad girl Rocco are you

reading Cosmo yeah so book cheaper than

jugs and smells like chicks

how will you shut up trying to maintain

my stiffy damn it

easy Rocco now gimpy you were saying oh

well gimpy this is never easy to say but

you look like Daria don't you get

straight A's if your roommate dies in a

freak accident no that's beneficial

suicide gotta have a note autopsy for

the whole nine they're really strict

about it trust me so jess has the

roommate charity she's a freakin freak

show Jonah why doesn't he take me away

to his castle in the sky should I cut my

hair this lamp could buy Jonah an

equally if not nicer laughs Jonah don't

not Jonah Jonah Jonah you made that last

one up well you get the idea

hey guys tell me what you like better

Valerie or

I suppose my roommate could be worse

what are you talking about Oh cow he's

not that bad I don't know why you agreed

to live with that jackass in the first

place Wow

who is this now whatever I don't regret

it I'm sorry guy okay okay I'm scared

let me guess my last can of ravioli next

time can you get the mini dinosaurs

I like Triceratops hey cow you seen my

toothbrush guy do you think my / how's

it too pushy hey hey hey hey uh

cow cow look I look man we need to talk

I couldn't agree more guy you're a bad

roommate what you kind of snore when you

sleep and you leave your socks out and

you turn the page it's too loud when you

read it's driving me crazy guy I'm

driving you crazy

yeah guy trying to work on it hey hey

hey

hey hey can I help you tell me as

jerk-a*s head how's Cal give him the

broken face this is Kiki she helps me

get there my roommate troubles Pat her

head no k*lled Cal so jerk

go on pat the bunny no Carol dead Pat my

bunny that's an order

fine but I don't see you soft

good feel better sort of still want Cal

dead and ranting makes me sleepy well

listen charity's gone Jonah's talking

for the weekend so if you want to crash

here tonight

eat my ravioli you can eat my a*s

tonight okay

just gonna go in and talk to him hey hey

hey guy did you get the triceratops

ravioli

can I extend my stay for a while longer

sure welcome to the neighborhood can I

use the phone - sure

Rocco listen I'm not in my room this

weekend

excellent you should have done that a

long time ago you need me to k*ll him

nah what are you up to the usual yeah

the usual Nick you know I son this

primitive mode of communication why

gotta meet my nemesis d-prime we've been

exchanging insults for the last 14 hours

I can't

I'm not my room that's why I'm calling I

couldn't take Cali more swing down what

a shame gotta go see you at Christmas

that's weird I thought he'd be crushed

well now that the troops have been

updated wanna watch a movie

what do you got black mats Jet Li

original Hong Kong version more k*lling

less rap sounds good cool I'm gonna have

some ravioli want some

now where were we I was just saying you

remind me of her brother word processor

circa 1986 well you're a Coleco Adam

you're a VIP with all your dad on

cassette see you're you're pretty funny

yeah you do you like Star Wars guy

that's right

it's this guy he's a con what if he

never comes back

hey I got some groceries rule one

you got a knock dude

got him late I miss another BioLab I'm

screwed

and I've got that male sexuality exam

tomorrow can you test me tonight

well me that's not really my forte

you neither toss me my deodorant you got

that stomach thing again here's what I

look like

it's an actual photo of me and I'm

sending you mine sir we heard that you

might be associating with a woman is

this true

mum guys I'm not gonna lie to you I'm a

robot that's been sent to replace Gympie

while he goes to secret brain school I

mean Jesse towel did just fall off by

accident Yeah right you so did mine at

last night's sorority mixer trust me

Rocko Jesse's not interested we're just

friends friends can do it at least

that's what Cosmo says not that I read

the articles I just look at the pictures

does your roommate have the hots for you

absolutely not take it I got plenty more

where that came from

knit knit knit see

that used to be us nits guy and then

during computer camp color Wars I broke

into the blue team's mainframe and

change their password

G Prime

it's like we share the same hard drive

modem and internal DVD I know it's kind

of creepy

I've never said this to anyone XI Prime

but I never want us to shut down

hey Jessie you home

sup knits okay folks meal card birth

control hey could you help you zip this

no problem

what else are roommates for if not to be

able to provide functional platonic

zipping support yes right

did you hurry up I'm really late

now I'm such a crick in my neck would

you mind rubbing it I can't

I have tendinitis in my knuckles it

flares up if I squeeze things whatever

oh hey knit look look at these old

things

just a minute Jesse I'm really busy here

these machines suck moose ba*ls I'm

gonna do my laundry this is Eve sorry

not looking can't help you with that

does your roommate have the hots for you

absolutely not absolutely not

absolutely hot very very hot damn she's

hot friends can do it

friends can do it hey hey hey

so they might try my teacher mrs.

Jackson said Oh be more realistic if we

use tongues it's almost like okay lady

no guy Romina can has been so much fun

we can tell each other anything

don't you agree guy God

good night C prime mmm all right this is

stupid I should make my move move making

is gonna happen

on three one two two and a half three

later nuts Mac crap well I'm more

partial than something simple and ch*nk

our house - what do you think we should

do sugar byte pounds - and the desktop

color pattern should be earth tones low

in that sort of thing yo Jim mind if I

hang here

yeah hold on one second my sweet little

pixel Qi Prime and I are picking out

wallpaper for our website and cannot be

pestered sorry dude but since knits no

longer lives in his room I need a place

to hang and I sure as hell don't want to

hang out with cow hey guys can i bunk

with you for a while I don't have time

for this

there's gifts to animate and copy ready

to use it to upload

visiting hours are efficiently and

indefinitely over ah what time you open

tomorrow

gimpy you are so PC whipped hey that's

good I am NOT PC whip oh yeah sis oh

right here in Cosmo how here it is

is your friend give me a big hug because

of computer girlfriend stuff can I see

that no no you can't no man hanging with

you sucks I'm going back to the frat

house guess it's just you or me guy piss

off Kyle you're on your own take me with

you guy I'll do anything please I feel

so safe in your rat house my brothers

would kick your sorry

okay tell your in yeah I never noticed

this birthmark on your ankle

who brought the honeys Rocko's buddy

ciao

that's cool and so is that Cal dude

Morocco still sucks oh yeah without a

doubt time to take our relationship to

the next level this Z will PC will

twitch what do you think we should do

sugar bite what do you think we should

do sugar bite I don't say anything

applicable to the current situation that

look babe I'll decide if and let me

upgrade you just visit yourself with the

housework the junk email is piling up

the servers a mess and it's high time

you erase the temp files from the hard

drive

chop-chop PC whips my a*s

that's three in a row are you letting me

rip your heart out on purpose listen

Jesse I've been meaning to ask you do

you think well would you go out with me

tonight then after which we can come

back here and get into the same bed

sorry but I'm supposed to work on a

screenplay with Brody and Kruger tonight

oh I city Brody and Kruger nits were you

just asking me out that would be weird

huh no no I wasn't all right later

system infected enter password to stop

virus come on you're not serious G Prime

stop this foolishness twenty minutes

until total infection

you will never interface with anyone

ever again good five prime 19 minutes

until total infection mom I need backup

sir your computer condition is

contagious and graver than we thought

please don't have any more contact with

us sir

this is what happens when you interface

with girls L is sucking up all our women

dude my girlfriend's in there with him

so my mother it's all Rocco's fault he

brought cow

and now the dulcet romantic tones of

state new zone notes to myself you are

so fine Jessie won't you please be mine

nits what are you doing trying not to

miss the boat miss a meeting Brody and

Kruger for dinner you're embarrassing me

oh yeah right

Brody and Kruger you seem to have plenty

of time for them these days

what's up knit hey Brody oh hey do you

know how hard it was for me to reunite

notes to myself they're not even

speaking to each other

yeah well neither are we wait a minute I

think I deserve to know why you've been

blowing me off knits you've been acting

like a weirdo ever since you started

crashing in my room no I've been acting

like a weirdo ever since I saw you naked

what does that have to do with anything

I don't know well until you figure it

out stay the hell away from me but Jesse

huh and don't forget to take that giant

panda you won for me

Jess I can change I swear don't break up

with me what are you talking about we

were never going out in the first place

I know that

no system infection in five minutes back

total system infection in three minutes

stupid everything okay enough it is

hardwiring crap I'm going in there total

system infection in one minute sure

mother border

hey nudes been looking all over for you

you got to come to my frat house can't

you see I'm busy line here in the rain

come on

I mean you're looking well Cal great to

see you guys patching things up you

dragged me here I didn't come here to

patch things up

okay listen I think we're all feeling a

little premenstrual right now but with a

calcium rich diet and then there's

bloating and cramping and nobody ever

said labor was gonna be easy

Rocco I don't know what you're talking

about I do and I'm so sorry guy

about everything please forgive me okay

okay man

oh heck I'm sorry I just really missed

you guys I'm sorry too

I'm sorry I called you annoying and

pathetic did what well let's go home

Peter no girl could best me I'm sorry

what a dumb password - I'm sorry

oh I'm magic hey freak can I hang out

here Jesse sure but I thought you hated

me I still do but charity just came back

so there's no time like the present to

reconcile hey someone's been sleeping in

my bed and sitting in my chair and

eating my porridge listen Jesse I'm

sorry I never really had a girl as a

friend before yeah and I usually just

sleep with the guys in my life for what

the hell College is a time to experiment

kidding jeez you take everything so

seriously

here Pat Kiki

b*stard in the back hey girls so again

how'd it turn out with that girl hacker

I know you're out there c-prime I will

find you someday

fire alarm the fire alarm