02x03 - Do the Rat Thing

[bunniefuu]

Oh, say you’ll marry me, my princess.

Look. I’ve already told
you! I’m engaged to Aladdin!

Aladdin? Please! That street
rat does not deserve a princess!

Sorry! Not interested!

Ahh, your hair.

It’s so soft. Soft like a...

rat!

Soft like a rat?

No. Unhand my nose, foul creature!

Nobody attacks Prince Wazoo!

Hold it, Prince

In ya go, fella!

Sometimes it’s safer
outside the palace wall.

Rats. Uh! Disgusting things!

Ohh! I must bathe now.

There’s nothing I
hate more than rats!

Abu! Show a little respect!

Prince Wazoo can’t help it
that he’s snooty and cowardly

and OBNOXIOUS AND CRUEL
AND… Ahh go ahead and razz him

Why did you let
that filthy thing go?

That rat isn’t so different
from me and Abu!

Okay! Okay. He’s not
so different from me then.

What do you have
in common with a rat?

Aah, just forget
it.You’re a princess!

How could you possibly understand
what it’s like to be a street rat?

ou think I don’t
know anything, huh?

Well, I know plenty about
the real world, don’t I, Genie?

Sure! You know all about the dark, sleazy

underbelly of this
seamy city of sin.

Oh. You’re serious.

Whoa! If looks could k*ll!

Okay. You’ve seen
the thieves’ quarter.

Now can we go
back to the palace?

No. Do you know what
Aladdin called me? Princess!

Offend not my delicate
ears with such language!

Look. I have to do this.

Aladdin and I will be married some day!

I have to understand
this part of his life!

I’m spending the entire day
as a street rat if it kills me!

Which it just might-Oh!

An ugly specimen, but he
may be worth a shekel or two.

He isn’t worth
anything! He’s mine!

Ah! Would you care
to rephrase that?

Wait. I have seen you
before. You are no thief!

Of course I’m a thief!
- You are a beggar!

We don’t like beggars
in the thieves’ quarter.

No! I’m a thief, really!

Oh yeah! Prove it!

You think I can’t?

You’d better! Or else

Just watch.

This is where we make a
break for the palace, right?

No. I look like a street rat;

it’s time I act like one.

I’ll be waiting. Beggar!

Look. This is crazy.
You know that?

You don’t know the
first thing about stealing.

Now. Let me fill you in
on some of the finer points.

What finer points?
I’ll just take this.

But.. You can’t just... Hey,
you know there’s an art to this!

’ll come back
later and pay for it.

Talk about unclear
on the concept.

A word of warning to the
young and inexperienced.

Those who do wrong may
find themselves punished by...

mysterious forces.

Look!

So! So, you are a thief!

I am Wadi Yathouin
of the thieves’ guild.

You have 30 days to
obtain a guild permit

a mere 50 dinari.

My card.

If you are short, we can
arrange a payment plan.

Good day!

Wow, you need a permit
for everything these days!

You see? I am a street rat

Don’t make me laugh!

If you’re a street
rat, I’m a frilled lizard

Uh oh.

I, I feel so strange!

My hands! My face!

My… Tail?

Uh, princess… Do I
look different to you?

You’re a lizard!
- You’re a rat!

That merchant! He said ‘mysterious
forces punish those who did wrong!’

So why did I get zapped?

You’re the one who stole the…

The mirror!
- The mirror!

I said I was a street rat!

And I said I was
a frilled lizard!

We have to tell it
to change us back!

Look!

I’m a princess. A princess!

I’m a parrot! A devilishly
good-looking parrot

We just got seven
years bad luck!

Rats and lizards
don’t live that long…

A tiger runs down his prey.

Yes, the mighty tiger. With the
strength of ten-thousand men.

The speed of a plummeting bicep.

And jaws so powerful, they
can crush an ocean liner.

It may seem that the fore
rodent has nary a chance.

Oh, how can this weak
and puny fellow survive?

Will he not be spared?

IS THERE NO HOPE?!! SHALL…

Oh.

How do you supposed
that got there?

Hehe, That rat’s a little
too fast for you, eh Rajah?

You need a new
tiger, your highness.

That one doesn’t know a
street rat when he smells one.

I was just telling
Prince, uh, oh, Wazoo,

that he should see
our marketplace!

I’d take him there myself

if I knew where it was…

I should like to pick up
a bauble for the princess.

Something fabulously
decadent and gold perhaps.

Maybe you’d like a
new pair of pants too.

And why would I like…?

I could… hate you.

e: Okay. Let’s deal with this calmly.

Calmly?! I’m a lizard!!

Look at this dry, scaly
skin!! And what about this?!

Did I swallow an
umbrella or what?!!

Iago! Look

Oh, please. Too common.

Oh. Well, I never!

You said it, Abu.

I know what you’re thinking’,Al.

He’d look a lot
better as a toad, right?

Sorry, Genie. I promised myself
I’d never misuse your power.

Oh, Street Rat!

Fetch my camel.

This place bores me.

Did you get that promise in writing?

(sigh) Come on
Abu.

I promised the sultan
I’d keep the prince happy.

There’s still hope, Iago.

Aladdin will recognize me, and
he’ll have Genie turn us back.

Yeah! That’s worth zero point
nothing on the Hope-ometer.

He loves me. He’ll know me
no matter what shape I’m in.

You’ll see.

Oh, boy.

Whoa! Wait! Nobody stop…

Ahhh! Oo! Ah! Look out!

Coming through! Whoa! Whoa!
Ah! Lemme out!

Whoa! Hang on!

Oh! Let me off -
oof! Hang on...

Somebody’s...

Aladdin! It’s me, Jasmine!

A magic mirror
turned me into a rat!

Uh! Another rat! k*ll
it! k*ll it! k*ll it a lot!

Oh, I can’t stand rats!

I’ll handle it, oh brave Wazoo.

Come on, Fella. Walk on your own feet.

He just tossed me aside like a…

like a rat

Well? We’re doomed.

o. We can handle this.

We’ll just have to go to the palace
and summon the Genie ourselves.

Sure! Go to the palace.

We’ll just use the “rats
and lizards” entrance.

Let’s go.

I am gonna hate this.

Oo! Ah! Oo! Watch! Oh!
Wait! Wait! Stop! Oww! Oo!

That rat again, eh?

Well I’ll show you
how a real hunter…

deals with a rat!

Well? There I go! I’ve gotten carried
away and alienated everyone again.

ey, has anyone seen Jasmine?

I thought she might be
outside with you guys.

But, I guess she’s still hiding
from that Prince Snootnose

Oh dear. If Jasmine
doesn’t show up soon,

we’ll have to start Wazoo’s
banquet without her!

Don’t worry. She’ll show
up when she’s hungry.

Even a princess has to eat.

Alright! Dinner break!

What do lizards eat anyway?

(gulp) Terrific.

I’m a lizard, I’m starving,

and I EAT BUGS!

Oh no! All that running, and
we’re back at Farouk’s fruit stand!

Things look so
different from down here!

(Sigh) As long as we’re here…

And no bugs!

Fresh fruit here!

One bite brings
undreamt-of ecstasy!

Get them before the bugs do!

Finest fruit in all Agrabah!

Figs! Figs! The musical fruit!

Fresh fruit! Buy the fruit!

Alright! Alright! I’ll take an
orange if it’ll shut you up!

Rat!!!

Whaaat?

Iago?!

Oh yeahh!

Raaat! I HATE rats!

I never knew it could be so
hard just to get a little food!

Ohh, here we are starving

while there’s a feast
going on at the palace!

Dinner, children!

Wait here.

I’ll toss something down to you.

Remember! No! Bugs!

Just one date each tonight.

We must save the
rest for tomorrow.

That’s dinner?

Hurry, hurry!

These melons should have
been at the palace an hour ago!

I could have said, if you’re a street rat then

I’m the richest
parrot in the world!

But what do I say?

“I’m a frilled lizard!”

Sorry.

So where’s dinner?

There isn’t any…

to speak of.

Lovely.

No insect is safe tonight!

Iago!

Isn’t that the man who
delivers melons to the palace?

Where there’s a melon
man, there’s dinner!

Who could that be?

(gasp)

It’s the magic holiday rat!

She brought us a present
from the rodent king!

Slow down! Will ya?

Remember? I don’t
have wings anymore!

Come on, Iago. We’ve
got a melon cart to catch!

Oh no!

Forget it. We’ll
never catch it now.

There’s no hope! Might
as well throw in the towel!

Cash in our chips!

We’re not beat yet!

Would ya quit yankin’
me around like that!

You know, lizards have rights too.

I - Hey! What are ya doin'?

Oh I seee!

You’re gonna use this
thing like a sling shot and…

Uh ohhh.

Just when I think there are
no new kinds of pain, I find one.

Oh, I declare it’s such a
delight to cook for royalty!

And, ohhh, Are you
going to be pleased!

Goat au gratin,
hummus on the half shell,

and deep fried camel fritters
like MOMMA used to make!

Ah ah!

We’re all fur and
impatience, aren’t we now?

Oh. Now. If a certain
princess would only show up!

Oh, my spoons and spices. I’ve
forgotten my little weenie o’dourves!

Must dash!

Sultan: Dear, I just can’t
imagine what’s keeping Jasmine!

Oh, I’m sure she’ll turn up
when we least expect her!

Melon ball?

Well, very well.

We have to get the lamp, Iago!

Hey! What’s wrong...

Oh, by Heavens! What!

Genieee!

Keep it steady out there,
Al! I’m flippin’ pancakes!

Hey! Hey, come back with that!

Okay, rat, gimme that lamp!

I’ll take that if you please.

Hey! Come back here!

I will stop him for you, Street rat.

I’m all wet!

Iago? Iago!

Oh no! There goes my soufflé!

Now listen up, you
squiffle-brained genie.

Hey! I taught you that trick!

Abu, no!

Ohh, Rajah.

Abu! Throw me the lamp!

Hey!

Oo! Ah! Ooh! Eh!

Hurry, Rajah! The lamp!

Okayyy. Who dropped a rat on me?

I’ll have you know.
Dessert is completely ruined!

Ohh! Hi Jasmine! Sorry about…

Say there’s something different
about you, isn’t there? New hairstyle?

I’m a rat!

That’s it! Ohh that’s
a good look for you!

Genie, you’ve got to help me.

How more rats.

What’s going on? Where’s?
Why’s every...? Hmm!

Please, Genie. Change
me back to a princess!

I’ll try, but my powers
aren’t what they used to be.

Nothing up my sleeve!

Presto!

Mmm, that’s not it.

Nope.

Where did that come from?

Finally.

Hey! What about me?

You think I like
being cold-blooded?

Oh. This is good. I’ll
NEVER get this down.

I LOOK LIKE A PETUNIA OVER HERE!

Princess! What happened to you?
- I am not talking to you.

What did I do?
- As for you,

it’s a little messy,
but it’s all yours.

Jasmine, I don’t understand!

I mean, how did ?
Where have you?

I’ll explain everything, father.

But first, we need to talk about
the poor people of Agrabah.

Poor people? We have
poor people in Agrabah?

She’s a rat.

My beautiful princess is a rat!

Sorry, Wazoo. Heh.

I guess she’s more my
type than yours after all, eh?