02x06 - Some Enchanted Genie

[bunniefuu]

Where incredible feats
are routine every hour or so.

Where enchantment runs
rampant, yes, wild in the streets.

Open Sesame, here we go!

Arabian Nights!

Like Arabian days!

They tease and excite,
take off and take flight!

They shock and amaze!

Arabian Nights!

Like Arabian days!

More often than not, hot hotter
than hot, in a lot of good ways!

Pack your shields, pack your
sword, you won't ever get bored!

Though get beaten, oh God, you might!

Come on down, stop on by, hop a
carpet and fly, to another Arabian Night!

[music]

[Horse galloping]

[Horse galloping]

Ha ha ha! How's that
for stealth, Haroud?

Snatched it right out
from under Aladdin's nose!

A most nimble feat, sir.

And to think, he would still be sleeping
had you not stepped on the monkey.

Eh, you're just jealous
because I get to have wishes.

[Horse neigh and galloping]

When will Abis Mal get a clue? I'm a
free genie. I don't do wishes anymore.

I'm a free genie, I don't
do wishes anymore.

Oh, the nerve of that
guy stealing my lamp.

Yeah, and he stepped on Abu!

[Abu ranting]

Lamp stealer, monkey masher,
when I get my mitts on him, pow!

Genie, the tracks!

Oopsie.

(sighs) No sign of Abis Mal.

Nothing here either, Al.

Genie, why are you in a shoe?

Oh, I know it's not much,
but it's a roof over my head.

Ewwwww

I may not be a sl*ve of the lamp
anymore, but that lamp's my home.

Hey, when Abis Mal rubs my lamp,

it'll be like
ringing my doorbell!

Then you'll know
right where to find him.

Why isn't he rubbing my lamp?

[relaxing music]

Uh, oho, the Sunken
Treasure of Cor d'Mere...

No, no, wait... Um,

ooh, the Floating
Treasure of Cali-For-Ny-Ay!

Or, or, or... Oh, my head!
There's so many choices!

Oh, why don't you just wish
yourself a new hat and be done with it?

Ah! New hat!

Come on, baby.

Yep, some wallpaper, a little lava
lamp in the corner, cozy the shoe right up.

Hey, Mal's rubbing.

And if you need anything,
Abu will be your waiter.

I'm gonna get me a lamp!

Genie, wait!

Oh, my genie senses are tingling.

Nothing, nothing.

Genie of the bottle, nothing.

Genie of the bottle?!

What year is this?

Tell me I didn't miss the gold rush of '49.

Ooh, I just love to can-can!

You're a genie?

Mmm, 2,000 years in that bottle,

I better be a genie.

2,000 years?
I must look a mess.

She's beautiful.

Ooh, mm, there. Much better.

Oh, I am glad to see your face.

There's no life in the bottle.

Ooh, she's lonely...

Ready! Take me to the nearest Casbah!

Ooh! So excited I almost forgot!

Ooh, the formalities.

She's 100% genie.

[growls]

How many heads you see?
- Three?

That's how many wishes you get.

Not one, not two, three!

You're not the
murdering type, are you?

You know, rubbing someone out,
mowing them down, making them croak.

Well... no.

Good answer, because I
can't k*ll anyone. So don't ask.

Hang on to this. If you ever
need me, all you have to do is rub.

Now, any questions?

Ooh, ask if she has a boyfriend.

Ask if she has a boyfriend!

What's your name?

No, wait.
Names are good. Names count.

Personable, eh?

Well, I like that,
Master. I'm Eden.

[birds chirping]

Pleased to meet you, Master.
- My friends call me Dhandi.

So, Dhandi, any wishes
you're itching to make?

Dress weaved of gold,
treasure of a thousand kings?

How about something to eat?

A little sandwich?

Dhandi, please.

Phenomenal cosmic powers.

So think big, kid.

Hmm.

A really big sandwich?

I'll have to bend the rules just this once.

Kid, repeat after me.

I wish to never go hungry
again for the rest of my life.

I wish to never go hungry
again for the rest of my life.

Sold! Food I can do.

I'm the hostess of the mostest, queen
of the kitchen, Princess of the palace.

I'm glad we understand each other, kid.

I can tell we're going to be good
friends, you and me, me and you.

What'cha doin'?

Wow! another genie.

[crash]

Where? So, you've
got to try my fajitas.

A south-of-the-border thing.

How about that?

I'm a genie.

Are you my genie, too?

Oh, he's not, sweetheart.

Now, mangia.

The nerve of these
guys, muscling on my girl.

What, what, she's the
only master in this town?

Hmm, casual approach isn't impressing her.

Show her more of that genie possess.

[splash]

Ever tried pizza?

You'll love it.

[sound that inhibits tasty food]

[sniffing]

Ooh, pizza!

Try gumdrop.

It's trendy!

Pepperoni, It's classic!

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You must try gumdrop.

It's a-thick, it's chewy.

The colors, the flavor, mmm, delicious.

Pepperoni.
- Gumdrop.

Pepperoni.
- Gumdrop.

Pepperoni.
- Gumdrop.

Er! Stupid lamp!

Sir.

It's a tower of pizza.

Wow, you two are great.

A leaning tower of pizza.

A falling tower of pizza.

[crash]

Uh huh... Hey, gumdrops!

Perhaps your new hat lies this way, sir.

[magical sound]

I really like pepperoni, but
the gumdrop's good, too!

The best part is, they go great together.

[chewing]

Nice teamwork.
The name's Jeannie.

Oh, that's original.

Look, I've tried to Grant a wish here,
so go find your own master, will you?

She's mine!

Guess this means you don't
want to go to the beach with me.

[magical sound]

I think he likes you.

You mean you... I thought you...
- Oh, no, no, no, I already have a master.

I'd love to see you
sometime, but I can't.

You know how it is.

New master and all.

I'm a career girl.

She'll see you tonight, eight-ish.

What she said.

Eight-ish, it is-sh.

[screaming of happiness]

Oh what a good Genie.

[clapping]

You brought me to look at a seal?!

Wait for it.

Yuah! What kind of seal is this?!

Sir, it's a genie.

No, you are wrong,
for it is... a genie.

Since the lab seems to be on the Fritz,

I think we should see about
acquiring a certain... bottle.

Another genie?

Yep, genie of the bottle.

Wow, I mean, what are the chances?

According to this, not very good.

Oh, Al, that must
mean it was meant to be.

I didn't even know genies fell in love.

What? You think we're
only here to Grant wishes?

Well, I never really, uh...

You know when music
seems to fill the air? - Yeah?

And entire hills of flowers
mysteriously bloom overnight?

Uh-huh.

And when flying pigs
play croquet with the stars? - What?!

Well, it's dark out, you
can't see the pigs too good.

But that's what happens
when genies fall in love.

Did you say... flying pigs?

In space. But that comes later.

If everything goes right,
what'll I say, what'll I do?

What'll I wear?!

You sure you'll be all right.

Um, any wishes?

Remember, there's
plenty of food in the fridge.

I'll rub if I need anything.

Now go on.

You know, this has been some day.

I've never had a date before.

And I've never had a
master as nice as you.

Have fun!

(GASPS)

(LAUGHS)

How lovely you look tonight, Eden.

Why, thank you. It's my best leotard.

(CHUCKLES)

Be yourself, be yourself.

Hmm.

(GASPS)

What do you know? We match.

Genie, you look phenomenal.

Well, semi-phenomenal, actually.

Whoa. That's the last time I
rent from the prop department.

(sheep crying).

Oh, look, a gondolier. Shall we?

Oh, look, dinner. Shall we?

Huh?

Just playing thrilled.

Genie's date must be going well.

It's not working. It's not working!

Did I say Genie of the Colander?

I meant Genie of the Summer Squash.

My Genie of the Summer Squash.

Oh, I k*lled my genie.

Little miss. It is time to end our game
and reveal the whereabouts of the bottle.

Before you share the
fate of that overripe fruit.

Genie, it's beautiful.

Put on your skating legs!

Zooming in.

Cheese!

(gasping)

Huh?
- Miss me, Butterfingers?

I'll never forget this night.

Oh, I'm being summoned.

Back in a flash, handsome. Promise.

I'm handsome!

How long's a flash?!

One one thousand, two one
thousand, three one thousand?

Oh, Dhandi! Dhandi! He's so
wonderful, I think I'm in love and...

Why are you in that cage?

Ahem!

Allow me to introduce you
to Abis Mal, your new master.

(gasping) No!

Sixty-eight million, three
hundred and four one thousand.

Sixty-eight million, three
hundred and five one thousand.

(sigh)

Either a flash is a really long
time, or I've just been dumped.

Heigh h*, Silver, away.

Genie, I'm sure there's an explanation.

She must love you.
I mean, I saw the flying pig.

Abu did too!

Pig's a liar.

Nobody wants to be with a
semi-phenomenal genie of the shoe.

Mr. Smelly Genie, that's my name.

'Ooh, smells like feet!
Must be that genie!'

Hey, you can't just sit here
and mope for the rest of your life.

I can't?
- No. You've got to get your lamp back.

Yeah! - Come on, big guy,
what do you say we go find Abis Mal?

Meh, he's under that pier.

How long have you known that?
- Since he robbed.

It just didn't seem very
important after I met her.

Okay.
- Okay...

Eden!

Can't k*ll anyone!

What kind of a genie are you?

I'm sorry, Master.

No! Say it ain't so!

Genie!

Hey!

So, it was all a trick.

You were working with the
enemy all along, is that it?

What? Oh, no! No!

Whoa, the kid was a nice touch.

What, you only let her out when you
need to make a chump out of someone?

No, it's not true!

You only pretended to love me.

I'm a sucker fish!

You just set the bait and reeled me in.

Genie! I...

For my first wish...
- Rid me of Aladdin's genie.

Rid me of Aladdin's genie.

You will imprison...

You will imprison him at the
bottom of the farthest deepest...

... ocean.

Yes, Master.

What do I care?

Quiet place to mend my broken heart.

No!

Genie!

You must be Aladdin.

I'm sorry.

I know you had no choice, Eden.

Yoo-hoo! Genie dear!

Wish number two coming your way.

Make me the biggest tough guy ever.

A cosmic one!

I want to blow up things and...

...and possess mega brain energy!

Yes, you'll be needing that.

We have to get that bottle.

And don't forget the
deadly eye lasers!

Red ones, they really sting!

Ah, ah, ah! Too late, Aladdin.

Hey, I can see our
hide-out from here!

Oh, my genie woman left me.

Yeah, my baby gone done me wrong.

She's done done me in the ocean.

Where a bum like me belongs.

Hmm, I've got a message.

It's me, Eden.

Exits down the hall to your right.

Abbie's mom may have said
ocean floor, but he didn't say forever.

She likes me!

Woo-hoo!

Ha-ha-ha!

Not so tough without a genie, eh, Aladdin?

Don't worry, angel-face.
Help is on the way.

Ow, ow, ow, ow! That hurts!

Wonderful.

Soon you'll be good enough
to play birthday parties.

I heard that, Haroud!

I hear all!

In fact, I hear the conversation
of distant grazing antelope.

Boy, are they boring.

It's payback time!

Ooh, loud.

I am your worst
nightmare, Abis Mal.

I am a genie in love!

Empowered by the energy
of flying pigs from outer space,

I fear neither b*ll*ts nor intimacy,
nor the likes of you, vile Nemesis!

So how do I stop the vile Nemesis?

Like any all-powerful
cosmic being, hold the plug.

I like your style, genie woman.

Salmon jerky from the wharf.

You tricked me!

Bad genie!

We have to operate.

What?! No! No! No!

Oh!

That's twice you tricked me!

You said cosmic tough guy.
You didn't say forever.

Fine. For my last wish, I want
Aladdin and his genie mashed!

Rules! You can't k*ll anyone!

Oh, brother.

Then turn him into little
c*ck so I can mash him!

I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish!

Yes, master.

Oh yeah!
- Hey!

I wish for Eden not to grant that wish!

But, I didn't wish that.

Freebie.

Add on a second bathroom, put
a little white picket fence around it.

Home sweet home.

Oh, sounds cozy.

Thank you for saving us.

I'm sorry that you had to use your wish.

She's just going to have to make her last
wish a special one, aren't you, sweetie?

Free the genie!

Of course I'll free you, Eden.

I just wish we could
always be together.

I didn't mean
that. I mean, I... I'm

I'm sorry, genie.
Dhandi has no one else.

I can't leave her.

I understand.

Thank you, genie.

Besides, we genies have eternity.

You, uh, free sometime
next century? Say eight-ish?

Eight-ish. It's a date.