02x03 - Magazines & Made-Up Stuff

[bunniefuu]

Wow. Austin and Brooke's date
is sure taking a long time.

Oh! Here they come. Act like
we're not watching them.

We're not.

Austin, I had a
lot of fun today.

I made this scrapbook
of our time together.

Here's a napkin from our first date, a
mini-golf scorecard from our second date.

And a crouton from the
salad we just finished.

Want to hang out Friday?

Uh... I was supposed to hang
out with Dez, but sure.

Aw.

Hey guys.

Okay, enough boring love stuff.

I've got some big news.

Austin, what's something you've asked
for since I became your manager?

To play Times Square
on New Year's Eve?

Close. I'm gonna get you on
the cover of "Cheetah Beat!"

Whoa! That's huge.

What up!

They have this hot new celeb issue
where they profile a rising star.

Every hot new celeb
becomes a superstar.

Beyonce, Adele, Ryan Gosling...

Do you remember Jim Futch?

- No, who's he?
- Exactly.

You don't remember him because
he wasn't a hot new celeb.

If you fill out this questionnaire,
I know I can get them to pick you.

Sweet!

Name?

Easy. It's gonna take a lot more
than that to stump Austin Moon.

Oops. Too many O's.

It's not a quiz. They want to
know what your life is like.

Oh.

Well, I like playing music,
hanging with my friends...

Boring!

It has to sound
unique and exciting.

Look. Emma Stone races cars
through the streets of Romania!

Jack Black teaches sign
language to grizzly bears!

Well, Austin Moon
collects grizzly bears.

It's teddy bears.

I'll just fill this out for you.

I'm used to making myself
seem more impressive.

How do you think I got
my job as a lifeguard?

I can't even swim.

When the crowd wants more,
I bring on the thunder.

'Cause you've got my back,
and I'm not going under.

You're my point,
you're my guard.

You're the perfect chord.

And I see our names together
on every billboard.

We're headed for the top,
we've got it on lock.

We'll make 'em say "hey!"

And we'll keep rockin'.

Oh, there's no way I could
make it without ya.

Do it without ya,
be here without ya.

It's no fun when
you're doing it solo.

With you it's like, "whoa".
Yeah, and I know.

I own this dream.

'Cause I got you with me.

There's no way I could
make it without ya.

Do it without ya,
be here without ya.

Ally helps a customer.

Always gives correct change.

Puts the headphones in the bag.

And says "have a nice day".

She's got the Sonic Boom blues.

You're really bored aren't you?

Yep. Little bit.

Austin, I've been on the phone
all morning with "Cheetah Beat."

They're sending over their top
reporter to interview you.

- Whoa!
- Awesome!

They must have loved that
questionnaire you filled out for me.

Oh, and if she asks you're a 10th
degree black belt in Kung Fu,

you swim with sharks,
race motorcycles,

and a bunch of other crazy
stuff I can't remember.

You shouldn't have lied.

Being cool isn't about doing
crazy exciting things.

It's those special qualities you
have deep down that make you cool.

Yeah, that sounds like something
an uncool person would say.

All you have to do to get the
cover is impress Megan Simms.

She's the most powerful
reporter in the biz.

Omg!

Austin Moon. It's really you.

Not now, kid. We're waiting for
a reporter from "Cheetah Beat."

I am the reporter.

Megan Simms.

But you're like, five.

I'm 10. And I don't usually
get starstruck, but I am...

Freaking!

And I'm having
trouble breathing.

Oh, you must be Ally.

- Oh!
- Austin's songwriter.

You are like the
most epic girl...

Ever.

Thank you, Megan.

You guys hear that?

Most epic girl...

Ever.

So let's get the
interview started.

There's no interview.

I'm here to see Austin do all
the fun stuff he wrote about.

What?!

You want the cover, don't you?

I'm young, but I'm powerful.

Now if you'll excuse me, I
have to go make a tinkle.

I can't believe I have to do all
that stuff you just made up.

Like being a Kung Fu expert.

Well, it's not like I said you can
break boards with your bare hands.

Oh wait. I did.

Austin, the secret is to visualize
your hand going through the board.

It's a piece of cake.

Hi-yah!

Aah!

Why did you say I know Kung Fu?

Because I don't know
how to spell Jujitsu.

Besides, I didn't think you'd
actually have to do all this stuff.

Just tell Megan the truth.

You don't have to lie to be on
the cover of "Cheetah Beat."

Just be yourself.

This isn't just about
the cover anymore.

If Austin doesn't go through
with all this crazy stuff,

Megan will expose him
for being a huge liar.

That could ruin my career.

Not to mention your reputation
in the Kung Fu circuit.

I so cannot believe Austin Moon is
gonna break wood with his bare hands.

Neither can he.

Megan...

We're not really supposed to use
martial arts unless we're attacked.

And this wood
hasn't attacked me.

So I'm not gonna fight it.

You're totes hilar.

But for reals, break it!

Hi-yah!

Woo!

Ha ha! Whoa!

I mean...

I meant to do that.

That was awesome! Now try
breaking a cinder block.

I'm sure Austin would, but
too bad we don't have any.

Cinder block coming through.

Uh...

I've already shown Megan
that I clearly know Kung Fu.

Wouldn't want to show off.

Do it.

Do it!

Yeah. Do it.

Do it.

Hi-yah!

Austin:

I don't know what happened.

Usually I can break
those no problem.

Aw, did you hurt your hand?

If only there was a way you could
have avoided punching concrete.

Oh wait, there was.
It's called not lying.

There's a cool motorcycle.

Where do you keep
your motorcycles?

A pic of you on your bike
would be great for the cover.

That is his motorcycle.

Right.

Yeah.

- It's one of his favorites.
- I mean, it's right here.

- It's so convenient.
- Very nice bike.

You look so cool on that bike.

That's cool with a
"K." even cooler!

Uh, Austin? A scary biker.

Ooh, good idea.

Okay, Megan. We're
done taking pictures.

Nice bike.

Austin! That lady's
stealing your motorcycle.

Oh, no! Do something Austin.

Stop, you thief?

Call the police.

Right. I got this.

We should definitely
call the police.

Beep boop boop.

Hello, police?

Bye, police.

I can't believe you
actually called the police.

It's the least I can do.

I know how much your pretend
motorcycle meant to you.

You've already Kung Fu'd, called the
cops, and it's not even lunchtime!

Speaking of, now I get to see
you eat your special lunch.

My special lunch?

Yeah. You remember what you
wrote on the questionnaire.

You're on a high
protein insect diet.

- What?!
- Don't blame me. It was Dez's idea.

I eat insects?!

I mean...

I eat insects. Mmm.

Too bad I left my lunch
at home and don't have...

Insects coming through!

Crickets, low in fat,
high in antennae.

I can't believe you
really eat bugs.

That's so disgust.

It's not so bad. Dez
put them in spaghetti.

Those are worms.

You know, I'm really not
that hungry right now.

Eat it!

Ewe.

That was awesome!

You are totes a hot new celeb.

I'm gonna go call my editor.

You hear that, Austin?
You're a hot new celeb!

Fingers crossed for the cover.

By the way, are you gonna
eat the rest of these?

I'm just glad she's leaving. I
can't do any more of this stuff.

Guys, my editor wants me to see
you do more of this stuff.

I'm staying the whole weekend!

The whole weekend?

That is totes hilar.

Sleepovers are so fun!

Yeah! So much fun.

Oh, look, Austin. Twinsies.

What up?

I brought stuffed animals.
Who wants what?

Aw, that's sweet, Megan.
But we've all outgrown...

Dibs on the purple porcupine.

- You want to help me finish my fort?
- Do I?!

This is a nightmare. We wouldn't even
be in this mess if it wasn't for you.

If you want to get on the
cover of "Cheetah Beat",

you gotta suck it
up for the weekend.

Besides, it's not like you had
anything else better to do.

I was gonna go on a date
with Brooke tonight.

Scrapbook girl?

Like I said, it's not like you
had anything else better to do.

Ally? You know what the
best part of tonight is?

Getting to hang out with you.

- Really?
- Really?

Really?

My friends and I think it is so epic
that you write all of Austin's songs.

You're like so smart, and
pretty, and talented.

Aw. That is so sweet.

I'm just being myself.

Completely honest.

Well, it's getting pretty late.
Maybe we should all go to sleep.

Go to sleep?

In the questionnaire, Austin said
you stay up all night jamming.

Huh. I wonder why I would write that
since everyone knows how cranky I get

when I'm tired.

All right. Okay.
I'll play one song.

Yay!

- Just one.
- Mm-hmm.

I'm a little butterfly.

Spread my colorful wings.

Even though I'm small and frail.

I can do most anything.

Butterfly.

Play it again!

Oh! Not again!

That was the 100th time.

It's morning now.
Aren't you tired?

Why did you even bring a sleeping
bag if you weren't gonna sleep?

I know, right?

I just had the worst nightmare.

We were hanging out with this 10-year-old
girl and she just wouldn't leave us alone.

Good morning, Angel.

Sorry for canceling last night.

I'd hang out tonight,
but I gotta work again.

You're not just blowing me off to
do something more fun, are you?

I've been up all night.

I had to floss crickets
out of my teeth!

Trust me. I'm not
having any fun.

I'll text you later.

Last night was the best!

I can't wait for
tonight's party.

- Party?
- Huh?

Right.

Every Saturday Austin throws
an awesome theme party.

What's tonight's theme?

Uh...

Uh.

Tonight's theme is...
uh... uh...

Glow in the dark!

Totes fantast!

Have fun putting that
together, Trish.

Megan and I are gonna...

Go extreme paint balling!
I like the sound of that.

I like the sound of that too.
Paint balling.

P-p-p-p-paint-ball-ing.

I'm supposed to pull
this off all my myself?

- Get Ally to help you.
- Oh.

Where is she anyway?

She went to go throw her trash away
like 20 minutes ago and fell asleep.

Hi, Ally.

Hey, everybody.

How was extreme paintball?

Extremely painful.

Especially when you're playing
with a 10-year-old sharpsh**ter.

I never saw her coming. It's
like she was everywhere.

Hey, here comes Austin's new
European supermodel girlfriend.

Enjoying the party?

Austin Moon my boyfriend.

I had to hire her because
I told "Cheetah Beat",

you were dating a
European supermodel.

How many things did you make
up in that questionnaire?

Not that I'm complaining.

Hi, I'm Megan. What's your name?

Austin Moon my boyfriend.

You don't understand a word
any of us are saying, do you?

Austin Moon my boyfriend.

Austin Moon my boyfriend.

That's European model.
My girlfriend.

Time to play some music.

Oh oh oh oh oh.

Oh oh oh oh oh.

Oh oh oh oh oh.

Oh oh oh.

Maybe I shouldn't have lied.
I was in over my head.

All the games that I played.
Just played me instead.

Please forgive me.

I'm trying to forget.

I was too busy fronting.
How dumb can I get?

Oh oh oh. So busted.

Oh oh oh. I messed it.

Up up up.

Gonna tell you what what what.

I'm gonna dance like a
freak on the pier tonight.

Sing the wrong words
into the mic.

'Cause that's just who I am.

That's just who I am.

I won't care if
they laugh at me.

If I lose my grip on gravity.

I'm doing the best I can.

'Cause that's just who I...
that's just who I am.

Austin!

That's awkward.

I thought you weren't blowing
me off to do fun stuff.

Brooke...

This isn't what it looks like.

It's not a really awesome party
that you didn't invite me to?

Okay, it's exactly what it looks
like, but I can explain everything.

Austin Moon my boyfriend.

Except for that.

- Go go go go!
- Hurry up!

Where'd you guys go?

We just got up early. Didn't
want to miss saying good-bye.

So, good-bye.

We packed for you.

This has been the
best weekend...

Ever.

Austin, you are totes
making the cover.

- We did it?
- Yes!

- Woo-hoo!
- Lying's still bad.

I'm gonna give you a shout-out
in the article too, Ally.

You are such an
amaze song writer.

How'd you come up
with that new song?

Like I do all my songs.

Austin and I sit at the piano, toss around
some ideas, and see what sounds good.

Oh. That's it?

I thought it would
be more interesting.

Well, bye.

- Bye.
- See you.

Miss you already.

Megan, wait!

What do you mean
more interesting?

Just that you write
all those epic songs.

I thought maybe you did exciting
things to get inspired.

Oh. We do exciting things.

Ally, what are you doing?

What kind of exciting things?

Oh, you know. Like...

Go to the top of the highest bridge
in Miami and look at the city lights.

And?

And...

Then we bungee jump
off the bridge.

Awesome! That's the picture
I want for the cover.

Why don't you all go
bungee jumping today?

Oh, I don't know.

Do it!

Ally, why did you say that?
We were so close.

She was out the door.

I'm sorry. I panicked.

I didn't want to let her down.

Well, now we're all going down a giant
bridge with a rope tied around us.

Thanks, Ally.

I can't believe we're going
bungee jumping today.

You know, a wise
woman once said,

"being cool isn't about doing
crazy exciting things.

It's those special qualities..."

I know what I said.

Then why'd you even say bungee
jumping in the first place?

Because. Megan and her
friends all look up to me.

And I didn't want
to disappoint them.

And I love the word "bungee."

We don't have to go
through with this.

I'll call Megan and tell her
we aren't gonna bungee jump.

Rather lose the cover
than see you so scared.

You'd give up your first
national magazine cover for me?

You're more important
to me than all of that.

That's really sweet, Austin.

But this one's my lie.

And the only way to make it not
a lie is to through with it.

Well, I'm still bungee
jumping with you.

You know what they say, "if your friend
jumps off a bridge, you should too."

I don't think that's
what they say.

Anyway, how bad
can it really be?

Okay, this is bad.
Really really bad.

- Totally bad.
- This is bad.

I can't believe our parents
signed permission slips for this.

I'm gonna go down to the ground
so I can snap pics of the jump.

Wow.

That's far down. You
guys are crazy.

With a "K"!

What's she doing here?

Do you how hard it is to fire
someone doesn't speak English?

You're fired!

Austin Moon my boyfriend.

I don't know if I can
go through with this.

Hold my hand. We'll
jump together.

Give me a second
to think about it.

Take all the time you need.

Austin! Why didn't you tell me
you had a supermodel girlfriend?

Time's up. Let's jump!

Whoa!

- Woo-hoo-hoo!
- This is the coolest thing ever.

Cool with a "K"! Woo!

Austin Moon my boyfriend.

Austin Moon my boyfriend.

Trish, take my hand.

We'll jump together.

Eh. That's okay.

Ah!

I'm gonna puke!

I can't do it! I'm going to
call my mom to come pick me up!

I got it!

I'll never find my phone.

Could somebody call it?

Forget it, it's on vibrate.

It's the same price as a
normal slice of pizza.

- Yeah.
- But it's so weird.

Guess who's on the cover
of "Cheetah Beat"?

Oh, awesome!

Ally even made it
in the background.

Well, it's not my best photo, but hey,
I made the cover of "Cheetah Beat"!

Yeah. I'm just glad all
that lying is done.

I never want to do that again.

And I never want to
see Megan again.

If I have to spend one
more minute with that...

Hello, Angel.

Hi, BFFs.

I had so much fun, I decided to
hang out with you this weekend too.

What?

So, who's ready to hang?

Uh, can't today.
Astronaut training.

Me either. Flying
to Italy for pizza.

Oh, I have to go feed my...

- Mermaid.
- I honestly...

Have no plans.

We get to hang? I am...

Freaking!

Me too.