01x04 - Diversity

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

♪ Kids' show, kids' show. ♪

♪ Oh, good Lord, it's a kids' show. ♪

♪ Kids' show, kids' show. ♪

♪ Change the channel for-- for kids. ♪

Today's Wonder Showzenis brought to you by:

I'm going to bleep you if I hear you swear.

Oh, hey, kids.

Hi, Chauncy.

Can you guess who we're celebrating today?

Numbers.

That's right.

It'll be fun.

What're you dirty numbers doing here?

Letters are smarter.

Uh-oh, kids.

Letters and numbers are enemies.

Beat it, you [bleep] letters.

Numbers count.

Oh, yeah?

I got some letters for you.

"F," "U," b*tch.

I got a number for you.

Number on your chest, jerk.

Oh, harsh.

Oh, that's it.

It's on now.

I'm gonna slice you open like a catfish and eat your guts.

Let's do this.

Oh, oh, God.

Come on, I'm gonna gut you.

Cut you open.

Come on, where's your belly?

Cut your belly.

Go get him.

Go get him.

All right, then, it's settled: knife fight tonight,

to the death.

That'll show us who's smarter.

Oh, no.

There's gonna be a rumble.

Yay!

Don't worry, kids.

I'll try to stop it with my hippie power!

Something that happens long time.

An emotional mind field.

Love is something special between my dog's butt

and the carpet.

That's a sissy excuse.

Ask my cell mate.

My daddy needs pills for love.

[farting noise]

A neurochemical con job.

A new product.

Who cares?

I'm going to Cabo.

Yay, woo!

I hate myself, I hate myself.

I hate myself.

This is what w*r looks like.

But this is what peace looks like.

Who's blowing up now, sucker?

I'm on a shower strike, kids, for peace.

I'm not going to wash myself till the numbers and letters

call off this knife fight.

Are you with me, brother?

Shut up, hippie.

Oh.

Hi, I'm Tamara.

I'm asking people, "Who did you exploit today" on Wall Street.

[newsy music]

♪ Kids on the beat.

♪ Kids on the street.

♪ Beat Kids.

♪ Beat Kids.

Excuse me.

Can I ask you a question?

Who did you exploit today?

Who did I exploit?

I didn't exploit anybody.

Why would I exploit somebody?

Who did you exploit today?

Who did I exploit?

Hm.

I don't think I did yet.

But are you?

Um, yeah, probably sometime today.

Excuse me, can I ask you a question?

Yes.

Exploit today?

No, I didn't really get a good chance to exploit anyone.

Who did I exploit today?

I'm not sure I exploited anyone today.

Citizens rise up!

Rise up!

Want to go fight the power with me later?

Fight the power with you later?

What power are we fighting?

We're fighting the China power.

Chinese power?

Yeah.

They're trying to to come and do the Hoo-Cha-Cha-Cha on us.

All right, rock on.

When did you sell your conscience?

You can't run away from a child.

I've got to go to work.

So?

Your money doesn't make you better than me.

Can you justify capitalism in three words or less?

Can I justify it?

Burn, Wall Street, burn!

Burn, Wall Street!

When the revolution comes, where will you hide?

Under my bed.

Under my bed.

You disgust me.

Profits before people.

Wait a minute.

Isn't that backwards?

Shouldn't it be people before profits?

Hee, hee, hee.

You need this to wipe your hands?

You got blood on them.

Do you need a napkin to wash off the blood on your hands?

No, I don't.

Thank you.

Right.

What does an oppressed sound-- um, sound like?

An oppressed person sound like?

It sounds like this: Aaaaah!

This is Tamara reporting for duty to get some ching-ching.

I hate you and I hate what you stand for

and I hate cartoons.

♪ A boogity munch.

♪ We're the Boogie Noogie Bunch. ♪

♪ Clouds they snuggle and cookies they smunch. ♪

♪ Huggies and a-kissies.

♪ Cuddles and crunch.

♪ We're the Boogie Noogie Bunch. ♪

Hey, look.

It's our cartoon.

Meeting of Boogie Noogie Bunch called to order.

I think today we should shuggie.

Let's all vote on shuggie.

Okay, Happy Boogie.

I vote shuggie.

Baby Boogie?

Shuggie.

Urban Boogie?

Me say shuggie for shuggie, my doogie.

Hee, hee, hee.

What vote Poopy Boogie?

Poopy Boogie vote shuggie.

Say [poot.]

Yeah, shuggie.

What about you, Grumpy Boogie?

No shuggie.

Oh, no.

Grumpy boogie no likey shuggie.

We can't get Grumpy Boogie to vote shuggie.

We'll put on a funny shuggie huggy show.

Yay!

Shuggie huggy show!

Sugarful!

Now shuggie, Grumpy Boogie?

No shuggie.

[poot]

Shuggie?

No shuggie.

[poot]

Now shuggie?

No shuggie, no shuggie.

Looky!

Urban Boogie going to rappy shuggie.

♪ A shoogety shoo, a shoog sha shoo. ♪

♪ Shoogety, soogety, soogety doo! ♪

[cheers and applause]

shuggie?

No shuggie.

I don't like noogie boogies, and I don't like their noogie

music with their porch noogie, jungle boogie beats.

No likey noogies?

I know what to doogie.

[poot]

Now shuggie, Grumpy Boogie?

Shuggie.

[cheers and applause]

[chanting Shuggie, shuggie.]

Shuggie, shuggie.

What is happening?

Why are you doing this?

Who are you people?

Shuggie!

Please, no more shuggie.

Please.

Shuggie.

[hissing]

Shuggie.

[screaming]

These white [bleep] [bleep] crazy, man.

Don't know why I was going along with that

shuggie [bleep] anyhow.

[poot]

Remember, kids.

Egalitarian communes breed dissonance.

We've been kidding around a lot today, but seriously, love

your fellow man.

I can't believe you showed up.

My friend, when I first laid my third eye on you, my friend, I

wanted to be your special friend, and I do not want to be

just anyone's friend, my friend.

I don't know what it is.

I mean, you're a number, but it feels so right.

This is most taboo.

This is very strange.

This is...

[together Love?]

♪ You are a letter.

♪ You are a number.

♪ We should be enemies.

♪ But love has brought us to our knees. ♪

♪ Numbers and letters are different ♪

♪ as wearing sheets and kosher meats. ♪

♪ Numbers and letters are different ♪

♪ as oil refining and constantly whining. ♪

♪ Numbers and letters are different ♪

♪ as driving cabs and worshiping Babs. ♪

♪ Numbers and letters are different ♪

♪ as body odor and Rabbi Schroeder. ♪

♪ Numbers and letters are different ♪

♪ as declaring jihad and fasting for God. ♪

♪ Numbers and letters are different ♪

♪ as becoming a martyr and liking to barter. ♪

♪ But love trumps bigotry.

♪ And love beats hate.

♪ And love conquers prejudice. ♪

[together] ♪ 'Cause love is Love is-- ♪

♪ great.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

The knife fight is starting in eight hours.

So, it's been a long road, cowboy, and now your parents

are getting a divorce.

Loser!

[laughter]

Hey, stupid.

Come here.

No, closer.

Come here.

I got a cartoon in my mouth.

Lemonade.

Care to buy a glass of lemonade?

How about you, sir?

It's for a good cause.

It's no use.

We'll never raise the money to save the orphanage.

I think I know how to get some attention around here.

Time for us to use--

all: Finger Force!

Finger force kitten Mandy.

I like fashion and makeup.

Jenna.

I like fashion and hairstyles.

Becca.

My father never told me he loves me.

I like hairstyles and accessories.

Kendra.

The ethnic.

Come on, girls.

Let's move some product.

[retching]

You girls are so cool.

Are you in college?

Say, can I have some lemonade, ladies?

♪ Girl, you got it.

♪ You know how to flaunt it.

♪ Sexy body with the power of vomit. ♪

♪ Skinny attitude and sassy fashion. ♪

♪ Puking power will get you attention. ♪

Daddy?

What are you doing here?

I realize now that you're a special person, Becca,

and I love you.

Your mom and I are getting back together.

Oh, and I'll take a hundred lemonades.

Oh, I have a daddy.

So, whatever.

How much money did we make for the orphanage?

$,.

Let's go shopping.

[retching]

Those new pants are so you.

Thanks.

But I still feel fat.

Oh, no.

We spent all the charity money.

Great.

Now what are the orphans gonna eat?

Finger Force!

[retching]

Thank you, Finger Forced girls.

Hey, girls.

This world ain't real until you buy the official

Finger Force finger finger.

From the makers of Baby Bulimia.

Duh, me a statue.

Every morning when I wake up, I wash my hands.

Then I have some food, and then I wash my hands.

Then I take a shower, wash my hands, and then wash my hands.

And then Mommy tells me my hands are clean, and then I wash and

wash and wash and wash my hands.

Then I touch my football and I wash and wash and wash and wash.

And I watch my sister washing her hands and I get an idea.

To wash my hands.

And I wash and wash and wash.

But I never get clean.

The shame never seems to scrub off.

And now, Global Politics in Seconds.

roar!

roar!

waa!

roar!

Hey, brothers and sisters.

It's your friendly neighborhood hippie here

with a message of peace.

We can stop this knife fight if we all join hands and visualize

a big hug in the sky.

Shut up, hippie.

You stink.

Go take a shower.

Hey!

Whoa!

Whoa!

I'm just trying to fight for peace.

I just want peace in this world.

[rythmic vocal music]

Aw, forget this.

Come on.

Y'all ready to do this to this?

Long as you're ready to die.

I was born ready to die.

Please, friends, stop this fighting.

You're not gonna believe this, but we're in love.

Love?

Love?

Love.

I ain't gonna let no stinky sand number soil one of mine.

You let that money-grubbing hook body letter touch you?

We're getting married.

Disgusting!

That's unnatural.

Come on.

Let's trash the city.

Yeah, let's riot.

Riot!

Together!

Together!

Breaking news at this hour.

The solace of our Utopia has been shattered.

Civil unrest grips the nation after the shocking revelation of

a disgusting, depraved intermingling between a letter

and a number, a relationship so taboo it makes bestiality look

like a newborn baby.

Tensions between the groups have literally explogasmed.

Letters and numbers are being bused to separate schools,

and last night the KKK dragged a behind its

finest lynchin' truck.

Yee-ha!

As a tribute to the sanctity of purebreed marriage,

two sanctity boulders have been placed at the base of the

Washington Monument.

Country stuportard Koby Teeth has released a harsh banjo rant

on the subject.

♪ Goboobelty ov gulp, gul, gul. ♪

♪ Geeoolp, goolp gulp go.

♪ Gobeb geepity gub, geeooo geb gub gub, ♪

♪ govity gov [bleep] gup!

♪ Geiol govie goeilep golp.

♪ Gul!

And America's premier interpretive dancer has

performed a scathing dance against numero-lettra

miscegenation.

[new age music]

Even the Bleep Fairy had some choice words for Eight and J.

You stupid [gabp wh*re.]

You never should have gone in the [gapb truck [gapb.

Bye, kids.

How can I improve my grades in history class?

Talk to your grandfather.

He is a wealth of historical information.

Grandfather, I got some questions for you.

[screaming]

Hey, Emma?

What?

Do you think it's good to be polite?

Yes.

Yeah?

Then why are you trying to break my head?

I'm not.

Oh.

I'm just hugging you.

Oh, thank you.

Let's watch my movie.

Hi.

I'm Clarence, and I'm learning about politeness today.

People who are on cell phones are rude like this guy.

You're rude.

What's up.

You shouldn't be on a cell phone.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, that's rude to be on a phone.

On the street?

It's rude, yeah.

You're being rude.

Get off the phone.

I'm trying to talk to you.

Please.

Please get off the phone.

Hey, excuse me, hi.

No, go away.

It's rude to be on a cell phone.

Rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude.

Please stop it.

Hang up, yeah, hang up.

It's an important phone call.

Hang up.

I can't hang up.

No, no, it's rude.

It's important to be polite.

Hang up.

Okay, I'll call you back.

Yeah, there you go.

Don't be so rude.

Get the [bleep] out of here, you.

Hey, no.

That's very rude.

Excuse me, hang up the phone.

That's rude.

Hey, don't hit me.

That's rude.

We're just talking to people--

Oh, stop it.

Oh, good.

You hung up.

Okay, thank you for hanging up.

That's very polite.

It's important to be very--

Wait, you didn't say please.

You got to say please.

Please be very polite--

No, no, no.

That's not enough.

You got to say please and thank you and

you got to say pretty please.

Pretty please, be very pol--

No, that's not good enough.

Maybe put a little sugar, sprinkle a little sugar on top.

Pretty please with a little sugar on t--

No sugar, that sucks.

You got to maybe to pack a little fudge in there.

Try that.

Pretty please with some sugar and fudge on top--

No, pack a little more fudge.

And a lot of fudge.

Pack some more fudge.

More and more fudge, please, please, please, please be poli--

How much fudge do you think you could pack?

I don't know.

Well, this week God popped some mighty huge boners.

Let's run 'em down.

Let's start off with Sunday.

Little Rajni Jirova of Pakistan was born totally healthy,

but thanks to one of God's famines, his parents had no

food for him to eat.

Whoops.

Boi-oi-oi-oi-oing!

Smooth move, God.

Breaker, breaker.

Super duper Lord of all bloopers, come in.

That's a big -, good Goddy.

This crash proves that God's got egg on His face

and His foot in His mouth.

Or more like His b*ner!

Doing!

Oh, hot nuts.

I guess this one of God's boners comes with a big ol' sack.

I bet God's still kicking himself over that one.

Kicking himself in the b*ner!

Seems as though the Supreme Being pulled a supreme b*ner

when he put the holy land of these two rambunctious rival

religions smack dab on top of one another in the Middle East.

Smooth move, Lord-lax.

Uh oh, pasketti-ohs.

Well, that's the wrap-up on God's crack-up.

Tune in next time for a thicker, longer, fatter dose of God's

Biggest Boners.

The whole world wants us dead.

But we can be together in death.

Did you bring the poison, honey bun?

It's right here.

I'll miss this world just like you'll miss my mouth.

Yes.

One, two, three.

Ha, ha, ha, ha!

[coughing]

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

You didn't drink yours, honey bear.

You--you missed your mouth.

I tricked you with the oldest number in the book.

What?

Love.

It was most simple to do.

I told you numbers are smarter.

Let's leave this letter to die.

I still love you.

Number one!

Numbers!

Number one!

Numbers!

♪ Joy.

♪ Oy.

Well, that settles it, man.

Numbers are smarter.

And no one had to get hurt.

See, little dudes?

One peaceful hippie can change the world.

♪ Good-bye, Farewell. ♪

♪ Good-bye and adios, man.

♪ And it's such a freaky good time. ♪

♪ I think I tried some bad stuff, man, ♪

♪ cause I can taste the clouds, man. ♪

♪ And the colors around here are itching my eyes, man. ♪

♪ And the smell of death is all around me. ♪

♪ I'm freaking out here, you guys. ♪

♪ I'm seeing letters and numbers dancing around ♪

♪ and jumping, man.

♪ It's not cool, man.

♪ What's happening, [bleep]?

♪ This is not the kind of orgy I signed up for, man. ♪

♪ I'm gonna vomit up the condom. ♪

Smoke up.