02x02 - Time

[bunniefuu]

Today's weather shows you it's brought to

you by I'm ching Chong

China and it

2006 oh hey kids

today I'm going to get in this time

machine, go back in time and mess with

people's minds it's going to be fun I'll

just get up in the machine here and see

what.

Who are you? I'm you, dude from 2 minutes

in the future. And I came here to rock

your minds because I'm rad Radical. Why

are you dressed like that? That's the

stylom with Dimes. My main vein. What you

guys think I like, totally love you.

Me so wet. Well, I think you look like a

hippo's granddaughter. Predictable. Old

man. Old man. I'm 2 minutes younger than

you. That's an antiquated way of looking

about time, baby. Time's not a place to

think time. And you ain't got

it in spades, Jack. Yeah,

future Chauncey Red battle.

What, are you guys seeing him? I don't

got He's got it, Jaunty. Come

on. I guess so. Just be on my way

then. Right after I put

you in your grave. Warm baby

shouldn't play with cold toys, old man.

You may get burned. I know everything

you're going to do. Let's go somewhere

it's cool and leave this corpse to rap.

You're going to traverse the ages without

me. I'm going to build another time

machine. I'll get cooler than him kids if

I have to go to hell and.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I'll probably. In my dad's business,

tormenting my mother, there's always

money in kicking cats.

One of the on song heroes of a

tragedy. I secretly called I have

pinked. I want to be the Turkey baster

to my two mommies. I don't want to grow

up. I want a rope out of the Queen's

mouth. I want to be the guy who cleans up

the blood for my poo. I'm going to be a

snitch.

Hi, I'm a little dead poop at a Catholic

Church asking people am I

going to hell?

Kids on the beach, kids on the street

beat kids. Am I going to

hell for dressing up like the Pope's

riding corpse? Yeah. Cool. Are you

going to hell for dressing up like a

turd? Possibility. Yeah. Kiss

the poop's ring, lady. Kiss it. Yes.

You kneel better than my priest, Neil. Do

you want to pray with me?

And this guy to hell.

Hell, is Africa hot? Do you think there's

a lot of Africans in hell? No.

We had them as sl*ves at one point. Yes.

That was sad. Sorry. Did sl*very

irk you win?

It was a terrible thing.

Please. The Pope

should go to hell for supporting a

corrupt system. High 5.

The poops is tickle Bunny just came into

town. Gucci, Gucci, Gucci goo Gucci.

You're going to hell. I'm ticklish.

Why did God abandoned America?

I don't think he did. He's watching

Oprah. Does God watch me when I make a

poopy? I think so.

Doesn't God have the decency to look away

when I'm dropping a deuce? God, you're

g*y.

Denying scientific truth high

5. Wait a

minute. No, I don't know that I like that

one. Ending innocent children, High five.

Oh, wow. On behalf of the Catholic

Church, Gimme, Gimme, Gimme, Gimme,

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme, Gimme. We're taking

good donations to the Catholic Church.

We've had some legal trouble lately.

What's causing the legal problem? Let's

just say it's a problem with faulty

plumbing, if you know what I'm talking

about. OK, here we go. Thank you. This

will pay off a lot of parents. Do you

think the Catholic Church is a lucky

place? Because I heard a lot of

priests get lucky in there. I've just

been in. I think I'm lucky now.

Using fear tactics to manipulate the

weak. High five. No, no, no. High 5 for

that. No five. Really low five.

OK, I'll give you the look. My priest

tried to give me the low 5, but I high

tailed it out of there. The Pope should

go to hell for abandoning innocent

children. High 5.

Detective Dave Cronk, super cop about to

bust the biggest drug ring in thecountry.

This is all that's left of him. Don't you

die on me, Crunk. Answer me. We can

rebuild him. Maybe we're building him for

the first time.

Feast your eyes. You rebuilt the

wino. Most advanced wino ever made.

What about Detective Cronk? Oh, you

wanted us to rebuild the cop? Damn it.

Misunderstanding. Yeah. No, no, I thought

it was weird you wanted to create a.

All

right, call me Duncan. All right, All

right, Duncan, who the hell is Duck?

Listen, we need you to go in and take

down the Calderon drug cartoon.

Loaded your body. I still gaps my wife.

Those drugs hit the street. Thousands of

kids will get hooked. You right

now I'm going to take me a nap on some

dog dirt MO. What the Hell

's the Duncan? You know what I just found

out that Calderones are planning to block

the delivery of all box wine in the

country.

What the hell is that easy? Where's the

shiny guy going?They're

trying to

destroy all the. Why?

Why nobody. We told you before, we

love wine. It's your police chief. He's

trying to make wine ill*gal.

Once and for all, who ain't? You know,

look, why nobody? I love

wine. Look, you love wine.

I lost wine too, why don't why? I want to

marry

this already.

Why'd you create one over?

We decided to surrender to His bubbly

spirit. Nobody's moving,

man.

When I grow up.

When I grow up, when I

grow U When I grow U When I

grow U When I grow U When I

grow U when I

grow U.

When I grow up, When I grow up,

When I grow up, When I

grow up, grow up, grow up.

Stupid future version of me thinks he's

so cool I just collect some spare parts

and I'll I'll build in a new time machine

and go 4 minutes into his future. They

can't be having much fun traveling

through time anyhow. Hey guys, look he

got us in his thought dreams. Hate to

burst your bubble baby, but when?

When?

What's that? It sounds like a time

machine engine. Something come from over

here. I just. See what? Huh.

Oh, score. I could sell this baby and buy

a hundred time machines.

Let me think Ching Chong

Abacus Dong so much $6 I get

$6 for the baby.

I'm rich. I can't believe it. I can buy

me a car made of monkeys. I can buy me a

hoe. I could. Actually. I am kind of

hungry. I

think I'll have the number 5 lunch

special. Very good

choice. Very fresh. Nice

place. Yeah. Better than where those

idiots are right now. Watch me go teabag

that pterodactyl over there. You want a

cool Chauncey?

Sick of you. I'm going to get you. We're

doing. I'm going to get you. I'm going to

get you. How do you like that?

How do you like those particular Apple

Store wonder

regrow power?

Okay, here you go #5 lunch

special garlic chicken. What the donkey

is that that Chinese calendar?

Yeah, duck sauce, 4703. It's

4703 in China. That's the

future, Corso. Wrap this food up to go.

What about happy ending? Well, I'm gonna

get a happy ending all right, all over my

own face. Because when I dig to China,

I'll be 1000 yearsahead of all you chum

Lords.

Is it a priest? It's going to

be a priest. A priest.

Call me a cat.

We got away with it.

A great moment in Chinese history going.

What? In China it's

the year 47 O3 saying wow,

that's the future, wow, that's the

future. I know and I went to go visit the

future. Hi, I'm Clarence and

I'm in China talking to people from the

future, like maybe this guy. Hi, I'm from

the past. Yeah. How you doing? Good.

Teach me your fridge. Go away.

My ancient language, my language is

just just don't grunts to you.

Yes, yes, I. Words like

institutes or

abhorrent, These are just nonsense, the

grunts of the beasts of the field field.

Don't take a picture of me, I just want

to pump you. For information about the

future.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hang on one second. I didn't finish. OK,

I didn't finish this. Hang on one second.

You're Godzilla problem, yes.

Looks like in the future we

still got lesbians in the future, right?

Give a give a gentle look. This this is a

cyber creature. Are you a machine

everywhere where it counts? What

percentage human are you? Can I have a

free manner?I.

Get out of here. The future

should be peaceful. Get out here.

Chickens are blue in the future. Why the

chickens blue in the future?

Is the future violence?

I'm going to set you free one day. Pop

into my mouth. No, no.

You were from the past, From

the past. Nice. You woo woofy.

Oh yeah, Give me some beautiful, yummy,

yummy. That's the best Chinese food I

ever had. I'm going to go undercover as

one of these future folk and get the real

scoop. Now I'm undercover

and I find out what the future really

like. What is it like in the future? This

restaurant is all kinds of shops. Wow,

that sounds wonderful. I mean, I know

because I'm. Here too, what you have

medicines and things to help cure.

Yeah. No, no, no, no.

I want to. Let's make let's make the

future a better place with more love. I

want to be remembered as a creepy loner.

What's that thing all the way to China?

I'll be the future. See them all, they

don't show them who's smarter. Ish. Lord,

they gonna dig a big old hole to China.

Lord, they're gonna dig a big hole to the

future all day. Fangling ching Chong

Ling.

A little

come here. Hey.

Hey, gentlemen, Go get me a bowl of rice.

I'm hungry. I'm Diggy. Diggy.

Speaking English, I just dug here from

the past. Go get me a coke chop chop

and hold the pee pee. No play jokeyjokey.

Yeah, Ching Chong. Ching Chong. It's hot.

Boy, you coolies can build a railroad.

You think you get some cool AC running in

through here? Oh, I just remembered.

Packed me a lunch. Nummy, nummy.

You guys

want to bite? I'll tell you what, you

share some of your Chinese future secrets

and lunches on me.

A fool man chew

extreme.

Pretty styling. Where did that stupid

future me gets a hot load of the new new

new me Now meow I'm

extreme. Let

Mr. Motti be your body. Body.

Hey, Mr. Body, how does the nervous

system work? The nervous system is a

complex communications web. In fact,

I'll show you.

He did it. Now I'm doing it

only my it refers to something else. It

can refer to many things or actually just

two things. Turn your skin off or piss in

your pants.

Breaking news at this hour. The news is

breaking. The news is breaking.

Hey, we went to China, the magical

place where all the toys come from. This

is how they go, the number 5 lunch

special. Don't eat

where you squeak, Pepe. We had a classic

race, a machine versus ox

ox one so we could open the machine. It

had tractor chops. The local flies are

so friendly they'll walk right into your

mouth and eat the dirt off your teeth

free of charge. If you say a ching Chong

to them, it translates to I'm a r*cist

American. Faceless. Massive. You

just want to slip him A50. I wonder which

one of them made my shoes. All of them,

silly. They sent them to school to tell

each other apart. Good luck. China has a

God. This government. Godless. Then who's

in charge of denying advancements in

science? The Secretary of

China is the home of dry cleaning. It's

in their blood. You know what else is in

their blood? Dog meat. 2 billion

traditions, 17 state teeth.

Confucius say me no likey racial

stereotype wing. They eat the

dogs and walk the ducks. Brother

country in Beijing, they had a section of

town called Little Harlem, that

spotless bum, bum bum. I think they

thought I was a local, a local

yoke. 2,000,000 Chinese in

China. That's over 16 trillion miles of

Molehair troll hair. They have this weird

thing there called work ethic. It's like

mine. It's like ethic. Oh, quad.

Even in China, they make the black dude

do the heavy lifting. It's in their

blood. You know what else is in there?

Blood? Dog meat. The Great Wall of

China is the only thing you can see from

space. Except your mom's a noodle. Except

for your mommy. My

mommy's in heaven. So your dad's food

against your mom's face on a better race.

See you in hell, China, California.

Can't wait to see my feet against your

face. People who think the term turd

burglar is funny probably never

had a turd burgled from them.

Welcome black and sub sub shows and pups.

Huge Chauncey back at you just cooling

out with the best use of my testes.

Having a power hanging a mega dangle

wreck kids. Yeah, right about now we're

going to go ahead.

How you doing, stud? Who are you?

Surprised. Surprise her. It's nothing but

just little old Chauncey extreme.

He's not just cool, he's cool extreme. I

like, totally love you both now.

This guy ain't none. I challenge you, old

man, to a general competition through all

of time.

I challenge you to a general competition

through all the time. Who extreme.

Whoa, they say the

cream rises to the top. Well,

this is the cream of extreme. They say

the cream of extreme doesn't stop a

battle through time. Old, creamy, old

tree. Two cup of cream of

extreme stick of historical butter, two

dozen eggs, and some salt and pepper.

Preheat your oven 350° and bake for about

45 minutes.

Dear Jesus, when I'm done writing this

letter, I'm going to vote in the

garbage because at least the garbage is

real. Stay real garbage. Head

the same. Jaws is the only American art

form. What do you call this thing?

Well, I call it

Jeremy, and Jeremy scares me.

Today is Linda show you it's brought to

you by I'm Ching Chong China

and our new Messiah. Hey kids,

today we're going to get in this

time machine and mess with people's

minds.

Wait. We're back at the beginning. I

guess we'll call it a draw. What the

hell? OK, right

after I send you to hell.

I know you're not going to try that old

chick again. I'm thinking ahead this

time. Check and mate, old foe.

You fool.

Chauncey, you use timeline. To k*ll your

future. That means you'll be dead in 2

minutes. Two minutes

of victory. I win. And winning is what

being cool is all about, as they say in

jolly old China.

Novus.