02x08 - Flustering Footwear Flotsam/Fathers and Pies

[bunniefuu]

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where uh

knows

the natives are getting restless so

don't go anywhere there's more of mike

lou and ugg on the way on boomerang

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i plead with you almighty gods seize the

punishment of our island and the humble

inhabitants upon it they know not the

stupidity they do

well possibly some of them do but take

pity on their inferior minds and unsound

newfangled living

right then just spare me

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what kind of monster is it oh it's

hideous is it dead

i think it's only sleeping fear not i'll

save you from this monstrous monster

i've got you now

oh you've angered it

you've been filling me in hey cool a

cargo container keep your distance i

think i wounded it um guys it's just a

cargo container male or female either

way it's an abomination is it gone yet

look it's just a cargo container a big

box of unwanted junk one country's

trying to pawn off in another see

i'll show you

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who wants to do the honors enter the

very belly of the beast i will no son

don't no it's no use

he's already done for

oh what's he got it's a

oh

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it's a

of all the shoe

to wash up on this island we get a giant

shoe box there's something the matter

dear nah just shoes have never really

been my thing

i have my philly department store i have

nearly all shoes must go blow out

extravagances back home

frenzy choppers tripping ankle deep

through discarded footwear cramming

their flippers size fours and ignoring

miserable children who plead for them to

leave just go home they've been waiting

patiently for six hours they're hungry

they're tired they miss all their

cartoons please

mommy

just let me go

excuse me dear what exactly are these

shoes for um they go on your feet on

your feet then

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metal protectors is good for working

with solvents they're dance shoes um i

don't dance

but i think i've got a use for them

oh wait i don't dance

mark my words no good will come of this

how could these be anything but good

yeah yeah i feel like i could do

anything jump like sh**t hoop

i've got to know

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oh

um

you're my wombat

i've got you at last

it was like a dream he was in my grasp

after all this time i finally caught the

little fellow congratulations

so what's the problem what now what do i

do with my days and nights having

mastered the catching of the wombat i've

effectively eliminated my entire purpose

in life you mean to say that catching

the wombat was your entire purpose in

life that's pathetic

and what have you got to say about this

very well

finish i see it we could spend the next

20 years discussing your over-indulgent

mother your overbearing father and

various other childhood issues and

so-called traumatic experiences

oh you could get rid of the shoes yes

well it all started when i was just

lancelot i have never felt so regal this

is living bring me cookie

fan my royal personage

cross my legs

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do i look cool or what

who dares disturb the royal personage as

she reposes halo pardon me did someone

down there say something want to go to

the beach sorry mike but i'm above such

meager activities way above fine synog

nope

i don't dance

well i'm off for a regal stroll

lancelot

oh lancelot

i want these ceilings raised by the time

i get back ow

well i finally narrowed my footwear

cylexium down to two pairs hey like the

purple boots no i've contemplated color

compatibility with a variety of clothing

choices and pondered practicality with

today's agenda but a decision simply

cannot be made the purple ones are nice

and now my ministrations are falling

behind i'm 20 minutes late for the

firing of the ceremonial cannon my life

is becoming unmanageable this always

happens i'm unraveling well good luck

with the purple for once i'm going to

make a firm decision i'm going

to choose

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i was petrified with uncertainty

it was awful

i couldn't even leave the house for fear

of picking the wrong bear

but you did leave the house you're here

i'm so ashamed it's quite simple really

get rid of the shoes and you do away

with the problem get rid of my shoes

my wonderful beautiful shoes oh how

could i why must you punish me so

well then i'm almost finished just need

one more red shoe for the nose and my

masterpiece will be completed just one

more red shoe

but where can i possibly find one more

red shoe

hello mike hey marjorie what up

nothing dear girl busy are you

why don't you take off your shoe and

stay a while or not stay a while just

take off your shoe i'm telling you i

don't dance i'm gonna go now no no wait

come back i must have mike's red shoe i

won't be able to complete my masterpiece

without it oh but how i hate myself wife

mother historian groundbreaking artiste

in the medium of footwear i've been

reduced to begging or worse common

thievery woe is me here's a thought what

what why don't you

get rid of the shoes but how will i

continue creating giant shoe portraits

of our ancestors the medium could very

well die out we should be so lucky

excuse me dear i was wondering if i

might have a shoe a word a word with you

look if you want my shoe you can have it

i don't have shoe issues like some

people

did you suppose i might have a lefty

instead yeah go crazy

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uh too tight on the toes

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i say pike since you know so much about

these things how about helping me find

my good friend the wombat a pair of

running shoes trying to get on an equal

footing we are sorry can't help you hey

mikey oh i've been looking for you all

day listen might you tell me how to

cleave these beastly things

after all you are the shoe expert

my poor red swollen feet oh these shoes

are making my life miserable why don't

you get something you can walk in are

you crazy ow

these shoes look great on me

mike dear girl i finally finished my

masterpiece of joshua wendell old bunker

teen's head

now i want to do the whole album

quitting

i'll need some more shoes just two or

three

thousand two or three thousand shoes oh

no no dear two or three thousand pounds

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pairs

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i can't take it anymore these islanders

are completely out of their minds

reaching to the choir you are what's

their deal with all these shoes who

cares about shoes i've been wearing the

same pair since i got to the island and

i couldn't care less about them see

you keep yours on can't you do anything

each time i took matters into my own

hands watch watch

oh why what if i give you a head start

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hey

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i can walk again hallelujah

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yes let's throw them back into the ocean

where they came from oh no you don't

you've seen what these things do to you

and you can't be

trusted the gods have spoken this

foolish footwear must be destroyed

once and for all

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right be that way

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they're making me nuts

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sandy beach

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where uh

knows

the natives are getting restless so

don't go anywhere there's more of mike

lou and ugg on the way on boomerang

[Music]

choosing fruit pie over cream pie can

have great philosophical consequences

pie is pie and i like it

i think you're missing the metaphysical

pregnancy of pie man loves pie man eats

pie ergo man and pie are one it is an

ontological imperative that the very

nature of man precludes an ordered

approach to pie pie is

i was so hoping he'd grow out of it but

it's only getting worse he has to learn

that animals are for hunting not for

inviting the tea

did you ever think that if you didn't

spend so much time hunting and spent

more time with your son

maybe he wouldn't be like this oh stuff

and nonsense my father was always off

hunting he rarely said a word to me and

look how i turned out

right

perhaps a visit now and then wouldn't

hurt

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oh i do hope i'm not disturbing you son

i was in the neighborhood and i thought

i'd drop in for a visit

great dad but the thing is i say so this

is your uh what's my call it

workshop

indeed very impressive thanks i wish i

had time to take you on a tour but oh

look at that

now this is a lever ah careful it's very

delicate they really don't make levers

like this anymore

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we make our own fun don't we ah and what

does this do no no don't touch that

dad are you okay

reminds me of a camel i rented once in

the sahara through me repeatedly crabby

old things

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this was really great we'll do it again

sometime hello i am like look of that

thing why is it going so fast it's an

accelerator

it accelerates well it won't hurt to

just slow it down a bit

see good thing i was here that thing was

ready to blow i say that looks

intriguing what is it i'm solving the

age-old question concerning the property

of all matter cosmic or subatomic see

the essence of substance is constancy

and what

it's a pie maker

how does it work

um can't we do this some other time oh

don't be silly son this is quality time

we're having you put sand in here and a

pie comes out there oh turn it on it's

not quite perfected so it's not perfect

i'm your father i just want to see it in

action

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i say there's a slight wobble in the

belt

i'm working on it

yeah let our dear old dad fix it for you

oh it's no trouble at all i'll just give

it one more

hang on

sun

sun is at you

my son is a

boy

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from now on i'm using the titanium

buttons

oh

my boy my beautiful beautiful boy

look at him a fruit pie

this is all my fault oh alfred you can't

blame yourself you're only trying to

keep him safe and i failed him miss

hopefully

my father may not have been the best

father in the

but he never turned me in the best way

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not in front of the boy

we have to act like nothing's happened

after all it's hard enough being a pie

without your family constantly reminding

you of it quite right

stiff upper lip and all that the trick

is to treat him the same as always

ready for dinner son i've made your

favorite dessert

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the important thing is to keep quiet

never reveal your location

ah that's that stuff i knew you had the

makings of a great hunter

ah now remember you have to allow for

the ark of the boomerang wouldn't want

it to come back and hit you in the

see easy as pie

well uh i mean nothing to it i mean now

you try

you know i've been thinking just because

our son is a pie doesn't mean he can't

have a bright future of course he can my

dear there are plenty of fine

opportunities for an ambitious young

pastry or he could work in the

government or run for high office he has

a fine aptitude for hunting

i could see him pulling down the really

big game or he could be a famous

sculptor but he certainly has the hands

for it you see it isn't such a tragedy

who knows this could turn out to be a

good thing after all i am spending a lot

more time with og now that he's a pie

shh

i thought i heard him cooling

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see

sound asleep

i know this is a stupid question but

how can you tell why his eyes are closed

see oh those aren't his eyes his eyes

are over here that's his mouth oh this

is his mouth that's his chin it doesn't

have a chin well of course he has a chin

everybody has a chin not everybody some

people only have cheeks

beasts oh are you okay son you aren't

too hot out here are you

now don't give me that look orga i know

a boy doesn't want his mother hovering

but i just want you to be comfortable

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bury your cherry

it's mine get lost come on you can't eat

a whole pie why not cause you'll get

sick and throw up

oh all right here oh

for me

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you've eaten him you've eaten my baby i

don't even like pie she made me eat it

now wait a minute you don't understand

this is no pie this is my son hug has a

brother this is og

he's a cherry pie

he used to love cherry pie and now he is

one

well

have one come on marjorie boys aren't

pies

steady alfred

come on we must have it where are we

going

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this is lame i'm out of here

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at a very critical juncture in the

ceremony but i'm telling you ugg's alive

he's in his workshop get that girl out

of my cave she's ruining my emanations

sorry old girl emanations

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it's me mike

so what's for dessert

oh mighty gods of coconuts and the

powerful gods of fig

transform this pie back into a boy work

oh magical thing about dig

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well i've run out of nonsensical strings

of words let's eat the pie

oh alfred chin up he was a good boy

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but he's a better pie

yes please

my son is gone

all gone

except for

a little crust

oh remember when he was a baby oh he was

such a beautiful baby

you know

i really like jerry me too

thanks so

could just see much

almost like he's standing right in front

of me i am standing right in front of

you oh

hog is that true

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i'm glad you're not a pie to tell you

the truth i felt a little bit sad about

eating you

oh my boy i have my boy back

that's nice okay thank you enough i

gotta go the workshop's a mess ah let me

help you son

oh no no no

here dear i think i hear a wombat

calling

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palm is cool trees very nice paradise

sandy beach wanna screech palm trees

cool trees very nice

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