02x12 - The Hunter and the Hunted/To Serve Lu

[bunniefuu]

where um knows

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elbow c*ck

close one eye

focus i am the out

well actually i'm not that arrow i'm a

different arrow

[Applause]

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now this is the owl that's me steady

alfred the arrow that is me

oh so sorry old man i simply can't

understand it i was aiming over there

and uh

oh wait a minute

bye joe i've begged you i've begged the

wily wombat i did it i did it me the

intrepid hunter that i am finally got

the best of him not so wily now are we

met your match did you

don't go away angry it's not your fault

you're just a stupid beast what chance

do you have against an expert hunter

like myself besides it's amazing you've

held out islam what we all limited brain

capacity and all

i beg your pardon

what a rotten spoilsport going on

nothing but guts and instinct the

intrepid hunter corners his play

it's time to show that wombat who is the

hunter and who is the hunter

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that poor dumb creature doesn't have a

chance even i don't recognize myself in

this clever disguise

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i say this is terribly embarrassing

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a masterpiece of design and engineering

three thumbs up

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and justin died

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i'm so very ashamed

i can't believe it me the intrepid

hunter all washed up

one minute i'm on top of the world

master of the universe the next time an

old has been with nothing but memories

and a wall full of plungers oh outfit i

do wish you'd go out for a walk or

something yes i suppose that's all i'm

good for now a stroll in the yard

will you stop you're still a hunter

right a terrible hunter no no you're a

creative hunter the lovely where you

sneak around and the way you sh**t your

arrows always a delightful surprise

where they will land it's no useful girl

i've lost it now you listen to me alfred

you were born to hunt it's what makes

you tick

hunter is your middle name actually it

was my mother's great uncle's name on my

grandfather's side well then there you

see well you may have a point there of

course i do

good or bad win or lose you are a hunter

so get out there and hunt

by juve you're white

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but about this wind loose good bad

business uh i am good right

but of course you are

you're the best none better oh

i i never doubted it for a second

what do you mean by lost it dad

what is it you know it

my edge my ways are sharp reflexes my

amazing accuracy accuracy

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accuracy gone all gone reduced to just a

hunter has been but you can still be the

hunter you've always been i can surely

anyone can

i mean anyone with your razor sharp

reflexes and uh amazing accuracy all you

need is a little practice

here i'll show you

how's it going well not bad dad's up to

the third circle

ah

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yes

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totally absolutely quite positively lost

it

what are you saying that you're just

gonna give up

yep you're just gonna lie down and take

it throw in the towel and the washcloth

come on that doesn't sound like the

alfred i know oh yes it is i alfred the

failure listen to me you're not a

failure in fact you're the best hunter i

know i'm the only hunter you know

true but you're still the best and you

want to know why because you never give

up even though you use sucker arrows and

plungers and never catch anything you

never call it quits and that says

something

what it says

uh it says that alfred is not a failure

that he can never be a failure as long

as he keeps on going that's what it says

it does absolutely others would have

given up years ago and got into data

entry but not you and that is why you

alfred are a winner i am

aren't i you bet

where is that wombat let me at him time

to take him on monoi mono

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i the masterful mango and the sacred

pineapple i invested with the power

yeah that's a powerful power can you

feel the magic moving through you

bringing you the strength speed and

lightning reflexes of a master hunter

uh uh

no

really

nothing not even a twins nope nothing

well no wonder this preparation is off

oh

we thought it smelled a little strange

luckily for you i have some fresh stuff

right here

oh now that's more like it

swirl and waft come to the craft change

this fellow into a hunter wait a minute

i do feel something go with the feeling

yes i can feel it i can really feel it

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it's working

the one back is mine

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[Applause]

dear

dad

alfred it's time i took this into my own

hands

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hiya

nice cabbages he got there

okay okay so alpha can be a real pain in

the butt sometimes i know that yeah but

but see hunting his outfits whole life

his identity he's alfred the hunter or

at least he was until he lost his

confidence i know you're mad at him who

wouldn't be but don't you see you two

have something special he's the hunter

and you're the hunted

you're practically family a weird twist

of family but family all the same he

really needs you right now you're the

only one who can help

you're like brothers comrades you love

each other he might hunt you down like

the dog in the night but he never

abandoned you you've got to save him

now the way i see it

but dear you'll need your hunting gear

no i'm done with the whole sticky wicket

hunting is for hunters not for has beans

like me

hey alfred where are you going with all

that hunting gear i thought i'd recycle

it maybe make a bench i'll need one if

i'm going to sit around for the rest of

my life good idea um but before you do

can i see your shoe one last dollar you

know for old time's sake

well all right

for

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what's this you shot the wombat i

i shot one back

lousy hunter me you nailed them outfit

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i dove i bagged the wombat i finally

bagged the elusive wombat you sure did

oh i'm back

alfred the hunter is black

i knew it all along the superior

intellect is always going to win over

the stupid brute i got him i got him i

got the stupid wombat

oh

i'm good i'm so very very good no no no

no

i'll sh**t him

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[Applause]

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i'm gonna have mike right where i want

her this is my best plan ever

i am such a genius

lancelot bush

come on bushier

good enough michael never know what hit

her

pull fast vile villain you're caught

between the elbow of destruction and the

eyebrow

ah isn't that great it's sheer poetry

the magical combination of verbs nouns

and funny little pictures

literature of the 21st century oh yeah

right while you've been ruining your

eyes with your literature i've been

accomplishing great feats of athletic

prowess

like what like jumping over that rock

and i said to myself i'll just bet my

couldn't do this

my granny could jump over that rock

walker and all too bad your granny's not

here now i'll bet you can't jump it

anybody can jump it

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you are saying beginner's luck bet you

anything you can't jump over that bush

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anything anything at all it'll be like

taking candy from a monkey hey no

offense you're pretty sure of yourself

you're willing to bet your precious

comic book

sure cause there's no way i can lose

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what do you think of that princess i

think you lose what

i don't get it i could have sworn i

jumped over that bush your comic book if

you please

a bet is a bet hey lou please be careful

with that that's an original number five

action guy comic it's almost two years

old it's irreplaceable oh really

well i got news for you michelan

mazinski you will now serve me wait upon

me hand and foot be my handmaiden and

servant in your dreams princess

oh that's too bad because i'd hate to

see this fine example of 21st century

literature end up in a mud puddle get

stepped on and torn to bits you wouldn't

dare oh wouldn't i

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i believe i won this in a bet come along

sl*ve

here do the laundry

this couldn't possibly get any worse oh

servant mikey

i think i need to cross your for my

curly locks

now get in here before i cough through

your precious comic book it's worse

how would you like your hair let's take

it off the neck shall we obviously i

can't entrust my precious hair to you

instead my toes are feeling a bit left

out pedicure away old mikey like i won't

do it i can't do it

all right all right i'll do it

if i could keep from tossing my cookies

she sl*ves for me she sl*ves for me not

she sl*ves for me

take that dust outside i am well do it

without raising so much dust all right

stop just stop go and get me a glass of

water

lancelot i told mike to do it you know

with this comic book thing going so well

you can take the day off oh heck take

off the rest of the week no the year

you know i'm actually feeling so

generous that you should take off the

rest of your life you're free

free from this day forward you're on a

permanent vacation

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don't worry mike's serving me now what

are you gawking at go and fetch your

princess and master a glass of water i

want a drink

go on you deserve a break

i've been going over a review of your

past service and

frankly it's really below standard

so in order for you to make it up to me

i prepared this list of things for you

to say in my presence

oh princess lou you are so beautiful and

talented and smart i'm not gonna read

this absolute drivel remember your

precious comic

a princess my princess serving you is

like serving the very sun itself i think

i'm gonna be sick what was that nothing

nothing i said this is really pretty

slick as in good really fabulous read on

your smile is like the newborn pearls

upon the cheek of mountain dew

wendell how do you handle lou when she's

acting well you know like like uh like

like a spoiled brat oh you can say it

we're all adults here

except for skipper he's a bit immature

for his age

so how do you handle lou i simply don't

let her get away with anything i am the

man i am the father i am dad oh yes my

pet my sweet my lulucan get in here

right now i'm coming

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my

where are you

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mike you are completely worthless i am

frying here little beads of sweat

warming on my upper lip

mike it is too hot

make me cool

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faster it's not working

it's just not working

it might make the sun mess hot

oh never mind i'll just go for a swim

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it's too far

sl*ve bring the ocean to me what don't

look at me i'm not the one who lost the

bet you're the big city wimp that

couldn't jump over one small stumpy

stupid bush

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i see you're taking my advice mike oh

lulukins is a good girl but she needs a

stern steady hand just don't let her

push you around dad what are you doing

here have you finished my ironing not

right yet dear but i'm working on it

well then go work on it right away

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more water

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i have to do everything around here

aren't you done yet

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oh this water is salty

it dries the skin

i want fresh water but you wanted the

ocean but you wanted the ocean say

goodbye little comic book okay okay i'll

get fresh water sheesh but first i'm

bored

i've devised a little plan for you to

entertain me

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this has gotta end

but how i made myself a prisoner all for

the sake of some dumb comic book sure

it's important sure it's a slice of home

while i'm so far away sure it means more

to me than anything on this stupid old

island

just listen to yourself mazinski more

important than your freedom more

important than the humiliation of

wearing this stupid dress mike i'm ready

dance for me

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i'm not wearing these stupid clothes for

you i'm not your sl*ve i quit

aren't you forgetting no i'm not

forgetting my precious comic book in

fact i decided to put an end to this

once and for all

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i know it's painful

i'm gonna miss you so very very much

but it is a far far better thing i do

than i have ever done

i'm sorry

only without you

can i be free

freedom

gee

nobody ever told me that freedom felt so

lousy

i miss my comic book

you saved it

you're the man

i mean the turtle

are you trying to tell me that you were

the bush i couldn't jump over

and lou cheated

i see

hey you want to help me get back at her

oh there you are i've just been thinking

of another way you can repay your bet

for not being able to jump over one

silly little bush hmm funny you should

mention that bush

i've never seen that bush before in my

life and anyway it wasn't my idea he

made me do it i mean does this sound

like an idea i'd come up with

oh and since you lost the bet the only

two things you have to do one you have

to apologize a whole bunch and say i'm a

big fat cheater and i feel really really

really really really sorry for having

cheated mike out of a comic book i i

i welcome back to that and two

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more iced tea

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and not so much lemon this time please

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man's best friend is a dog

a tadpole friend's a pollywog

but my best friends not man nor beast

nor horse nor hog it's me

i'm my own best friend my own best

friend my own best friend

i'm my own best friend my own best

friend

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i love me