04x04 - Home Alone

[bunniefuu]

- 1, 2, 3, huh!

Baby!

Sassy.

Studly.

Ooh. Check the pecs. Huh ha huh!

Man, i'm pretty.

Do the monkey with me.

Come on.

Hey there, baby.

Yeah, whatever.

- A papoose?

- A papoose, moose, and goose!

- A papoose, moose, and goose?

[laughing]

- Johnny, i'm about to leave

for my exotic, tropical cruise

To the jersey shore.

- OneShoot!

- Now, there's plenty of food

in the refrigerator

And a fresh pair

of jammies on your bed.

- OneShoot!

- I left a list of emergency

numbers by the phone

And a new teddy by the dresser

In case your

night terrors act up.

- One

sh**t!

- Are you even paying

attention, johnny?

- Yeah. Sure.

You going somewhere?

- Oh, i wish i'd have

gotten you a babysitter.

- Mama, watch what you

wish for, will you?

- Johnny, i worked really hard

To be randomly selected

to win this vacation,

And i don't want

to spend the whole time

Worrying about you.

- Worrying?

- Well, this is your first

big time home all alone,

And you know, i mean,

sometimes you're a bit helpless

AndAccident-prone, huh?

- Oh, that's crazy talk, mama.

I haven't had an accident in

3 days.

I'll be fine.

D'oh!

Oof!

[munching]

Mmm.

Mmm.

- And if you forget

how to breathe,

It's inhale, then exhale.

- Got it.

- I'll be back in a week.

That's 7 days.

So, until then, you take care

of my favorite little boy.

That's you, johnny.

You're my favorite little boy.

- Right.

- Now, don't let me down,

sweetheart

Or i won't let you out of

my sight till you're 105.

- Don't fret, mama.

I'm gonna prove to you

What a good

stay-at-home-by-myselfer i am.

I promise!

Hello? Is anybody home?

[ticking]

[groaning]

Ooh!

Waha!

That wasn't so bad. Ugh!

- Looking a little fluish?

- How did you get in here?

- A key. Mama gave me one.

She wanted me

to check up on you.

- Well, thanks, kid,

but i'm staying home alone.

That means there's just

the right amount of me

And one too many of you.

- Ok, but i'll be right

next door if you need anything.

Bye-bye!

Ugh oh!

If i just sit right here

until mama gets home,

Nothing will go wrong,

and she'll see how great i am

At being all grown up.

- Do you like food?

- Sure. Who doesn't like food?

- How about extreme food?

- Yeah!

- They're right. Food is good.

One johnny bravo

smooth operator smoothie

Coming right up.

[blender whirring]

[stops]

Ok, blend.

[whirring slowly]

So, you want to play tough, huh?

All right. Take ha!

Whip! Liquefy! Pulverize!

Crush! Rhumba!

Shimmy shimmy shake!

[whirring stops]

Hmm. Need more power.

Tornado?

Tornado! That's it!

Get ready to twist, pal.

[whirring]

Johnny bravo, one;

mr. Blender man, zero.

[whirring in spurts]

Uh-oh.

Whoa! Whoa! Ooh!

Ooh!

Whoa!

- Hi, johnny!

Need a hand?

- I'm doing fine, thanks.

- Great, then. See you later.

- Whoa!

[telephone ringing]

You've reached the bravos;

Home of the one

and only johnny bravo.

Ha! No need to leave a message.

You can talk to me right now.

- Hi, johnny.

- Oh, hey, mama. What's up?

- Oh, just checking in

on my big guy.

How's everything going?

- Oh, mama, this staying at home

alone stuff is a breeze.

- Bingo!

- Bingo?

- B-a-n-g-o,

and bango is my name-o.

- Bingo. She said bingo.

- But does it make

the joke less funny?

I think not.

Ha cha cha cha cha.

- Right.

If i just sit right here

until mama gets home,

Nothing will go wrong--

Ooh!

Ooh!

Hey, home-wrecker.

What's the big idea?

- Hey, this isn't

1720 cambridge street.

I am so sorry.

I swear. This, like,

never happens.

- Please sign here.

- Uh, sure. Thanks.

What's this for, anyways?

- Mud delivery.

[faint beeping]

- Mud delivery?

But i didn't order any--ooh!

Oh, man.

- [gasps]

What are the chances?

- So, what do you say we spruce

the place up a little bit?

- Don't you have some corny,

dolly, tea party,

Frilly time thingy to go to?

- Oh, yeah! But i'm sure

they'll understand

If i'm a few minutes late.

- Beat it!

[muttering]

[phone ringing]

[ring]

[ring]

- You've reached the bravos;

Home of the one and only

johnny bravo. Heh!

No need to leave a message.

You can talk to me right now.

- Hey, johnny!

- Hey. Do i know you?

- This is johnny, right?

- Yeah. This is johnny.

- Johnny bravado?

- Johnny bravo.

- Johnny bravo?

- That's right. Johnny bravo.

- But i'm trying to reach

johnny bravado.

- I'm johnny brav-o!

- I guess i have

the wrong number.

- I guess you do.

Oh, mama.

[gasps]

[sniffs]

Something smells fishy.

- You got that right.

[sniffs]

Ahh

- Ahoy, johnny.

Can i throw you a line?

- I've got it

allUnderControl

Aah!

- What are the chances?

- Wipeout.

- [quacking]

- This just in.

A criminal mastermind

is on the loose tonight,

And he has one thing

on his mind:

Your wardrobe.

- My wardrobe?

- That's right: Your wardrobe.

This apparel abductor--

- The garment gangster--

- This clotheshorse crook

will not stop

Until he is wearing you pants.

- My pants?

- Your pants, johnny,

So please, lock down your

dresser drawers, hampers,

And closets.

- No one's taking the bravo

family duds tonight.

Aah!

Ah. Uh, ah.

I knew it was you.

- It's time for

sleepies, johnny.

How 'bout i read you

a bedtime story?

- How 'bout i read

you a bedtime story?

- Really?

- No.

- All righty, then.

Nighty-night.

Don't let the clotheshorse

crook bite.

[hammering]

- The clotheshorse crook?

- Technically, i'm a pony,

But let's keep that

between you and me.

Ha ha ha.

- Look here, mr. Trotty pants,

I can't let you take

my mama's clothes.

- Perhaps we could make

another arrangement.

[siren wailing]

[whinnying]

Ooh. Gotta gallop.

The clotheshorse crook

strikes again

Again!

- Now, that's one

swanky-looking stallion.

- If i just sit right here

until mama gets home,

Nothing will go wrong.

[buzzing]

[buzzing]

[wind blowing]

[thunder rumbling]

[growling, hissing]

[bell dings]

So, mama, you have any idea

How to get

a grape juice stain out?

- Well, what happened?

Did you have a spill?

A big spill?

Should i come home?

- No! No, no, no.

It's--it's for aA friend.

Yeah, yeah. A friend.

- Well, tell your friend

To try scrubbing it

withFruit punch!

- Fruit punch?

- This place is great!

We should have our

convention here every year.

- I don't know.

- Oh, quit your whining.

- Who's "raisin" the roof?

He he.

- I'm really in a jam now.

- This isn't so bad.

[crumbling]

I'll have it fixed up

in no time.

Just like new.

[doorbell ringing]

- Good morning.

Am i speaking to

the man of the house?

- You need a new set of eyes,

Or should i just

fix 'em for you?

- Mind if i ask you a question?

- Yes.

- Do you know what

homeowners reported

As the number one cause

of property damage

This past fiscal year?

- Yeah.

- You do?

- Fairy tale damage.

In the last decade,

Dragons, trolls,

irritable forest creatures,

And pining princes

and princesses

Have unleashed more

destruction on homeowners

Than all random acts

of mother nature combined.

- Great.

- No one can afford

to be unprotected.

That's why i'm happy

to offer you

A one-day only

super-special deal

On fairy tale insurance.

- Hey, pitch man,

i've been through a tornado,

A mudslide, a flood,

a horse thief,

And a bunch of other stuff.

I think i can handle

a few nursery rhymes.

- But, sir--

- Look, mister,

i got a fairy tale for you.

Once upon a time

Get lost!

And i live happily ever after.

Ha ha.

[doorbell ringing]

I thought i told you

toGet

Aoooga!

[babbling]

- So sorry to bother you,

But would you mind if i use

your phone for a minute?

I'm a little late getting to

my sweet old grandma's house,

And i would just hate

for her to worry.

- Sure! No problemo!

- Thank you.

All right, guys!

- This chair's too small!

[farm animal sounds]

[buzzing]

- HuffAnd a puff

Ha, ha

[wheezing]

Lungs ain't what

they used to be.

[rumbling]

- Aah!

No!

- Aah!

- Beans. Beans.

Get your magic beans.

- Hey, horner, get your thumb

out of that pie.

Quit jumping over

that candlestick, jack.

- Is this where the party's at?

- Hey, ya, johnny.

Somebody drop this golden egg?

- Thank you.

- Quite a party.

- Yeah. Your invitation

must've got lost in the mail.

Why don't you go complain

to the post office or something?

[phone ringing]

You've reached the bravos;

Home of the one

and only johnny bravo.

Ha! No need--

- Johnny, it's me!

- There aren't any

fairy tale characters here

If that's what you're wondering.

- Ok.

Well, i have good news.

There's a funnel cake shortage

on the boardwalk,

So i'm cutting

my vacation short.

- How short?

- I'll be home in an hour!

Can't wait to see ya!

Taxi!

- Oh, man.

What am i gonna do now?

When mama sees this mess,

She's never gonna let me

stay home alone again.

If only i could find someone

to help me fix up the place.

Hey, little neighbor chick.

- Yes, johnny?

- UhI was wondering if, uh

Um, you know.

Hmm. How do i put this?

I need some

- What?

- HH.Uh.

- Come again?

- [wheezing]

- Are you trying to say "help"?

- A little bit.

- That's all i needed to hear.

Now, you do have fairy tale

insurance, right?

- WellUh

- Ok. Ok.

I'll just have to

call in a favor.

[boing]

- It's a pretty big job,

But i think we can handle it.

- The 3 pigs! "the" 3 pigs?

Ooh. I am such a big fan.

- Enough chitchat.

Let's go to work.

- Hello? Anyone?

- Oh, no!

Rapunzel, let down your hair!

[horn honks]

- Johnny!

I'm so happy to be home.

[crack]

- I missed you so much, mama!

[horse whinnies]

I never want to let you go!

- Oh, i missed you, too, johnny.

The house looks great!

And the walls are even more

delicious than i remember!

I am so, so proud of you.

You've really showed me

That you're finally

grown up enough

To be left on your own.

- Ha ha ha!

Oh, thanks, mama.

- Now, if you don't mind,

i'm gonna go freshen up.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

- Hello? Somebody?