- Come to me now.
This is how it's
going to happen.
- Whoa, what was that?
- What was what?
- Was that, was
that an earthquake?
- Oh, come on, baby,
you know you rock my world.
- Oh, my God, I'm serious.
You could, you felt
that too, right?
- Of course.
I mean you know the
earth shakes for me
every time I kiss
those lips of yours.
- Oh, my God, Billy, stop, stop.
We could be in real danger here.
- I'll say.
We got a real Krakatoa
situation going on.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
Could be a magnitude
of 8.0 at the least.
- Oh, eight, huh?
- Uh-huh, a fault
line devastator.
- Oh, my God.
You're an idiot.
- Uh-huh.
- You know what
your brain ceases
to operate when you
get an erection.
- Yeah, yeah.
- And you just, you
just don't pay attention
to anything I say.
- Yes.
Whoa, whoa.
- What?
- Did you feel that?
- What?
- Jesus Christ.
- What, what?
- Oh, my God.
- What, what, what?
Goddammit.
- Oh, you shoulda
seen your face.
Ah!
- You almost-
- Ow.
- Gave me a heart attack you-
- Ow.
- b*stard.
- What?
- Don't do that.
- I'm sorry, I thought I felt
another earthquake coming.
- Oh, yeah, right.
- Oh, I'm sorry
that my over caution
to protect you is an
inconvenience.
- Don't make fun of me.
- Oh.
- No.
- Come on.
- Uh-uh, I hate you.
- Come on.
- No.
- Just give in.
- No, stay away
from me you jerk.
- Just kidding.
- Okay, what was that?
- Okay, quit goofing off,
it's time to get nasty.
- I'm, I'm serious.
- What?
- What was that?
- What was what?
- Shh.
Listen.
What the f*ck is that?
- Who knows.
It was an animal or something.
- Go check.
- Go check for what?
- I, I don't, maybe
there's a bear.
- Okay, and me checking
on it is gonna do what?
- Take the knife.
Please.
Thank you.
Hurry.
- I'm doing it.
- God.
- The things I do for love.
- Babe, hurry up.
Go, go, go.
Love you.
- f*cking ridiculous.
f*cking ba*ls are freezing.
Jesus Christ.
f*ck.
There's nothing
out here, sweetie.
Can I come inside now?
I really wanna f*ck you.
- Billy!
No, no!
Help!
No!
No!
- Th-th-that's all folks.
- No!
No!
Somebody help me!
Help!
Help, help!
Somebody help me!
Help!
No, no, no, no, please, please,
please stay away from me.
Help!
- What the f*ck?
- Oh, my God, it's been a
whole three f*cking days.
I missed you.
Uh, I am dying for caffeine.
Holy sh*t, I'm so hungover.
- What'd you
get into last night?
- Buzz and I hit the Crystalline
for some dancing and drinking.
Nothing to cray, but I-
- Yeah, right.
- Didn't f*cking eat
anything as per usu.
- Oh, no.
- I know, I know, I know.
Come on, the guys are
already loading up the car,
and are about to head
over to pick us up.
And I'm like dying for
a caramel macchiato.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- There was additional
word from NASA this morning
concerning the
astroid that collided
with Earth just 12 hours ago.
Radio telemetry from
the seismometers
planted at the base
of Mt. St. Helens
had indeed recorded
the shock of the impact
as a 2.2 on the Richter scale.
Now this object that fell-
- Oh, sh*t, dude,
I didn't realize there was a
meteor shower last night, damn.
- Small as far as
these things go.
About eight meters across,
which is much bigger
than your average bus.
- What the f*ck are my tax
dollars paying for anyway?
- What the f*ck do tax dollars
have to do with
the meteor shower?
- Whatever, time to get high.
- Sounds good to me.
God, dude, I've been
waiting for this weekend
for literally weeks
at this point.
Jesus, this will be nice.
- Oh, sh*t.
There you go, dude.
- Hand this.
- Okay, so checklist.
First the essentials.
So what do we got?
We got the half ounce of
the, the Northern Lights.
Um, we got the, uh, couple,
couple pre rollie ollies
of that Space Dust swag.
That is good sh*t by the way.
Some of those sour
gummy edibles.
A 10 pack, which actually
is now a nine pack.
We got the Grey
Paw for the ladies.
We got half G of the Skull.
Half G of Jager.
A pint of the Rebel Yell,
and uh, ja, ja, ja, ja,
oh, uh, some of that
nasty a*s Duck wine
that Cassie requested.
- Right, the, um,
Wandering Duck.
It's, it's all right.
- Uh, dude, no, that sh*t taste
like it was made by a clown.
Now for the non-essentials.
- Right,
so sleeping bags.
Uh, we've got the flashlights.
We've got first aid
kits or a first aid kit.
And then let's see I
got my walking stick.
Don't wanna forget about that.
Some sunscreen.
Playing cards for entertainment.
Maybe some dominoes
in there as well.
Yep, definitely
have the dominoes.
Uh, hotdogs and burgers
are in the cooler.
And then I also got some stuff
for, uh, for some smores,
'cause it's just not a
camping trip without it,
so I think that about does it.
- Dope, man.
Models of modern efficiency.
- Hell yeah.
I can't wait.
- Okay,
caramel macchiato
with a chocolate drizzle.
Pike's dark roast,
no cream, no sugar.
- Thank you.
- Can I get you
guys anything else?
- No.
- I think we're good.
Thanks.
- Absolutely.
You two enjoy.
- Thank you.
- I cannot stand that
fake a*s chipper attitude.
Anyway how are you?
How are things going with Yuri?
- Things are good.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- See what'd I tell you?
Not all of Buzz's friends
are dumb cooze hounds,
just most of them.
- I know, I know,
you were right.
Thanks, girl.
- Yeah.
Thank you.
- So you and Cassie?
- Yeah, what about it?
- She's like your
main chick now, huh?
- Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I guess so.
- That's dope, man, I dig it.
- Yeah.
- I guess not all
of Starr's friends
are catty gossip queens.
- No, man, she's, uh,
she's really cool.
I, I like her a lot.
- Did you f*ck her yet?
- Bro, dude, she is super
f*cking hot come on.
- But did you f*ck her yet?
- Dude, she's
practically screaming for me.
- Ah, you
didn't f*ck her yet.
- Girl, seriously, haven't
you been seeing him
for like a month?
- Almost two.
- f*ck, Cass.
I deprive Buzz for
more than 36 hours
and he starts freaking out,
I'm gonna break up
with him or some sh*t.
Uh.
- Uh, no.
Yeah, we've been
taking it really slow.
He's been really sweet
about it actually.
Really.
- So do you think this weekend?
- I don't wanna
rush it you know?
Like I, believe it or not
trying not to f*ck this one up.
- How are you
gonna f*ck this up?
She's clearly into you.
She's stuck around
this long didn't she?
- I guess
you have a point.
- Bro, listen up, she is
one of Starr's friends,
she's hungry for it, man.
Give her a slice.
- Before he finds
someone who will girl,
'cause you know they always do.
f*cking men.
- Yeah, maybe.
Maybe.
Um, I guess we'll have to see.
- Oh, sh*t we gotta go.
The guys will be there to
pick us up like really soon.
- I'll follow you.
- Yeah, hurry up that bit.
- Ah, man, how did
we get so dry so fast?
- Yeah, we
f*cked that up.
- Oh, man.
- Jesus Christ.
- Hello, welcome to Jane.
How may I help you today?
- Well, that depends,
sweet cheeks.
What do you recommend?
- Mm, Blue Dream.
- Blue Dream?
Good choice.
I bet your everybody's dream.
- Ooh, I sure am.
Would you like some?
- I would love some.
What do you think Blue Dream?
- I second that.
- Oh, that's
what we'll go with.
- Perfect, I'll
get that for you.
- Excellent.
Oh, 11:00.
Ah, f*ck it, Starr's never
ready on time for anything.
- Come on, Buzzy.
f*ck, pick up.
- They're probably driving.
- Yeah, well, f*cking
God, you know what?
This time it's not my fault.
Not my fault this time.
- Hey, here we go.
Ay.
- Stella!
- About f*cking time.
- Nice.
- What's up?
- Oh, is that Yuri's sister?
- Larissa, yeah.
You haven't met her yet?
- No, not yet, but,
uh, Yuri's parents
were saying something
about getting her
out of the house more.
- So we gotta babysit
just so her parents
can get laid, great.
- What?
Who's getting laid?
- Not you.
- What?
What did I do?
- Do you have any idea how
long we've been waiting?
- What 15 minutes?
Plus Yuri was the one driving.
- Whatever.
You smell like you
bathed in bong water.
- Hey.
- Hey, babe.
- Hi.
- How are you doing?
- I'm good.
How you doing?
- Doing well.
- Good.
- You look
really pretty today.
- Thank you.
- I'll grab these bags.
That.
- Hey, guys, come on, let's go.
Andale, por favor.
- Hey, Larissa, right?
- You must be Cassiopeia.
- Yeah, yeah, Cassie for short.
Um, yeah, it's nice
to finally meet you.
- Likewise.
- We can go swimming.
- Yeah.
- I, I didn't
bring my trunks,
but we can always skinny dip.
- Yeah, I'm
down for it, sure.
- Cool.
Well, let's go.
Well, you know I used-
- Let's just
head to the river.
- Well, yeah.
I used to be a little skinnier,
but I gained about 50 pounds
so I think this time
I'll be chunky dunking.
- Maybe it
will help you float.
- Oh, it will.
Oh, it's like that old movie.
They all float if
they got the belly.
- Yeah, I don't
think that's the movie
that you're talking about, but.
- But, but
wasn't that like that,
that movie called "That"?
- No, it's called, "It".
- "It".
- It is.
- "It Is"?
I've never seen it "It Is".
- How much longer?
- Uh, that was mile
marker 43 back there,
so like 15-ish.
- Minutes?
- No, seconds.
- So what you reading
there, Larissa?
- "Dracula".
- "Dracula" like the movie?
- It was a novel first.
Bram Stoker.
It's a classic.
- Oh, oh, that's cool.
Um, uh, what do you think?
- It's great.
- Uh, could never
read in the car.
It makes me sick.
- Reading in general
makes you sick.
- What is your f*cking problem?
- What?
Come on, babe.
- You're always teasing me.
- Well, I'm so sorry.
- Shh.
- I got just the
thing for this, dude.
Dude, the spliff.
- Good.
- Light it up, man.
- Good thinking.
- There we go.
- All right.
- All right.
- Yeah, finally let's
get this sh*t started.
Get high.
- Let's get f*cking
wasted m*therf*ckers.
- f*cking A.
- f*cking A right.
There you go.
- Thank you, sir.
- De nada.
- It's good sh*t,
it's good sh*t.
- Hurry up!
f*ck.
- There you go, babe.
- Yeah, we're gonna get
stoned before we hike though.
- Yeah, a little buzzy buzz for
the road never hurt anybody.
- It's the only way I can
enjoy nature to the fullest.
- sh*t.
Oh, babe, are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm good.
- Oh, f*ck.
- Yeah, thanks.
Larissa.
- No, thanks.
- Oh, come on,
loosen up a little bit.
- No, thank you.
- Larissa, really
it's not that strong.
You're fine.
- I don't want to.
- Uh, yeah, that's, that's fine.
Yeah, that's cool.
Here.
- Gracias.
- Yeah.
I don't usually smoke
that much anyway.
Not since high school.
- Oh, rude much.
- Yee-haw.
- There have
been additional updates
regarding the
meteorite 247 collision
that occurred in the early
hours of the morning.
It is being said to have been
the largest space rock to hit
the Earth in modern record.
When a meteorite unknowingly
entered into the
Earth's atmosphere
breaking apart somewhere above
the Cascade Mountain range.
The impact registered nearly
a 3.0 on the Richter scale.
State authorities
today give thanks
that it hadn't fallen through
a large populated area.
An expedition team
headed by top geologists
from the University
of Washington
will be dispatched to
recover the fallen star
as early as next week.
Pinpointing the exact
location of the crash site
may prove to be harder
than it would be otherwise
if the meteorite hadn't fallen
into such a dense wooded.
- Ooh, Buzz, let me get one.
- All right.
- Thank you.
- Uh- huh.
- Hot girl, start
early like a badass.
- Yeah,
you know vacation right.
- All right, everybody
just about there.
- Ah, finally.
- What do you folks say
to one more spliffy iffy
to christen the journey?
- I say yes.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- I might be asleep by the time
we get halfway up the mountain.
- Oh.
- Oh, well,
I got just the perfect
pick me up for that.
- What do you got, boy?
- This is what I got.
- Hey.
- Oh, f*ck.
- sh*t, babe, you had a
eight ball this entire time.
- Hey, baby, I'm a man
of many mysteries.
- Yes.
- Dude, we're f*cking
sprinting up the mountain now.
- Oh, you bet your
f*cking a*s.
- Whoo!
There's just so many of 'em,
I don't know what to get.
Whoo.
- Ugh.
Oh, I need to wake up.
- Bullshit.
You sure you don't want some?
- Oh, yeah.
- Nah, I'm, I'm good.
Thank you.
- Suit yourself.
- Wait, have you
ever done a line?
- Um, not since I, uh, party
with Patrick Bateman, no.
- Who?
- It was a joke.
- Oh, "American
Psycho", great movie.
- The book was better.
- All right, y'all,
let's head out.
We can take shifts
carrying the cooler.
And Buzz, since you're
on that superhuman sh*t
you can take the first shift.
- No f*cking sweat.
- Wait, how far is it?
- Uh, like a
mile and a quarter.
- Well, my workout app says
that I walk 1.3 miles an hour,
so like 15 minutes-ish.
- That's on a flat surface.
We'll be hiking up an incline.
- But my phone says I
walk four miles an hour.
- Yeah, but not up hill.
The altitude and the incline
will reduce that
by at least half
and that's not even factoring
in all the dope you just smoked.
- Say like
30 maybe 40 minutes.
- OMG.
I just wanna party.
- Relax, baby.
Look, why don't you have a beer.
It'll make you feel better.
- Okay.
Thank you.
- Let's get a
f*cking move on guys.
Come on, let's go.
- Hey.
Ow.
Ow!
Oh, sh*t!
- Look at that sh*t.
- You know what's with
you and that stick?
- What you don't know?
- Know what?
- Oh, sh*t, dude,
you haven't told her.
- No.
- Seriously, you always get
sympathy with that story.
- Whoa, what story?
- Yuri almost died.
- What?
- And that Gandalf cane
of his saved his life.
- What?
What happened?
- So, uh, a few years ago I, um,
I joined this hiking club,
and we went on trips all over.
Mostly around the Cascades
in Oregon and Washington.
And, uh, one day about the,
uh, the middle of the spring
we decided to go and
hike up Mount Rainier.
Now probably not the
best time weather wise
to go summiting a
mountain over 10,000 feet.
But we were going for it.
And um, about halfway
through the day
this huge storm
cloud just rolls in
over the entire side of
the mountain we're on.
And it looked like that
video game "Silent Hill".
I mean I sh*t you
not you could not see
more than a foot in
front of your face.
And I started hearing
this buzzing sound
coming from the side of my head,
so I had thought it was a bee.
So I took my hat off
and start swatting
at what I assumed was a bee.
But that I realized that's
not what it was at all.
It was the metal
grommet in my hat
reacting to the static
electricity in the storm cloud.
Betsy, one of the
other hikers with us,
she had these metal ski poles,
they started buzzing as well.
And it was at that
time we realized
we had to get the
hell out of there.
- Dude, you got
struck by lightning.
- No, no, I just, I got lost.
We all started hustling
to get down and out
of that mountain,
and I wasn't really paying
attention to where I was going.
I mean I couldn't
f*cking see anything.
And um, yeah, after
a while I realized
I was just deep in
the forest by myself
way off the trail.
And the sun was going
down, I was alone.
- Jesus.
That's, uh.
- Yeah, I really
started to freak,
which is, um, not what
you're supposed to do.
Started leaving behind
pieces of my gear as a marker
that I had been
there or something.
It was dumb, but I mean
I was getting desperate.
Something like 50 hours
I had been just wandering
in the complete opposite
direction of the campsite.
And, uh, when the search
helicopter found me
they said, "The
only reason they did
was because of this
stick right here."
I was waving my
t-shirt around on it.
Only reason they found me,
so now I never leave
home without it.
- Such a harrowing tale.
- Yeah, you're like the
guy who cut his arm off.
- Uh, Aron Ralston.
- Oh, for real, now that
you know the damn story
he's gonna compare
it to everything.
Last year he had food poisoning,
and I'm telling you right now
he would not shut the f*ck up
about his tenacious
will to survive.
- Yeah, Yuri, I
have reservations
about you being
the one leading us.
- I got this, dude.
- Ah, baby, I can't believe
you haven't told me that story.
- Yeah, well, according
to these assholes
I talk about it too much so.
Yeah, f*ck you too, guys.
All right, y'all ready
to head out or what?
- Yes!
- So I swear I'm not
being a d*ck, bro,
but are you sure you
know where we're going?
It's been about an hour now.
- We're on the trail.
We're fine.
- No kidding.
I thought this was Park Avenue.
- We're almost there, okay?
Have a beer it'll
make you feel better.
- Yeah, I'd like some
f*cking Gray Paw.
- It's funny.
- No,
it's not funny.
- Yes, it is, it's hilarious.
- f*ck you, buddy.
- Oh!
- What the f*ck?
- Holy sh*t.
- Greetings fellow hikers.
- Uh, f*ck.
Hey.
- Uh, sorry if we spooked ya.
We just heard some
talking and came down
to ask if that was
your campsite up there.
- Campsite?
- No.
- No, no.
- Yeah, somebody
vandalized it or something.
Uh, we waiting around for
the owners to come back
but they never showed up.
- You didn't happen to pass
you on your way up did ya?
- Um, nah, we
didn't see anybody.
- Okay, well, I think we
better, uh, get going.
- Y'all said it was just
up, uh, up that way, right?
- Yeah.
- Can y'all show me?
- Yeah, sure.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Maybe splitting off the trail
isn't the smartest idea.
- Y'all stay here,
I'll be right back.
- Uh, I'll, I'll go with you.
- All right.
- Yeah.
- Be sure to drop
some breadcrumbs
so you don't lose your way.
- All right,
where's this at?
- It's just over here, uh.
Uh, uh, the campsite's
just up around here.
- Oh, wow.
- I know right?
Maybe it's abandoned.
A homeless camp or something.
- Jesus.
And it looks torn apart.
The critters must
have had a field day.
I just hope whoever this
belongs to is all right.
- Could it have
been a bear attack?
- Nah, there aren't
really any bears out here.
- Plus there isn't
any blood or anything.
I mean the entire place
looks pretty clean.
I don't think anyone was hurt.
- Yeah, I'm more worried
someone got lost.
- What's good?
- Ah, just an
abandoned campsite.
- Yeah.
- Well, hey, we're staying at
cabin just up the trail head.
We'll keep our eyes
out for any hikers.
- Okay, well, we
better get going
before it gets too late.
Uh, it was really
nice meeting y'all.
- You too.
- You too.
- Good luck.
Have fun.
- Thanks.
You too.
- All right, y'all ready?
- I've been ready.
I need to get out of these shoes
and make a drink like yesterday.
- f*cking finally.
- I hear that.
Let's go, let's go, let's
go, let's go, let's go.
Yeah.
- A dating app or?
- Oh, yeah, you're like
my fifth person this week so.
- Oh, wow.
I've never done
it before so, uh.
- Don't worry it's not-
- I hope I'm a good one.
- It's fine.
- Oh.
- You're good, you're
fine, don't worry, but-
- This-
- We won't be making out
later, so-
- But-
- I wanna
tell you that now.
- But, well, I
mean I've never kissed
a girl before so.
- Hey, look, I, I
have to go use the restroom,
so, I'll, I'll be back.
Uh, can you hold
this cellphone pack?
- It's so beautiful out here.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Hey, uh, hold up, hon.
I gotta take a quick wee-wee.
Be right back my love.
- All right, I'll be here.
Waiting.
- Ah, oh, I gotta pee.
Oh, oh, pee pee time.
Oh, oh, oh.
Sweet baby.
Oh, yeah, sweet baby.
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
- Ryan?
Ryan!
Ryan!
- Oh.
- Ladies and gentlemen,
Le Ritz.
- f*ck me!
- All right.
- Oh, dude.
Yes!
Yes!
Oh, my God, you guys, yes!
f*cking party!
- Wow.
You guys.
- You like it?
- This place is incredible.
- What do you think Larissa?
- It's perfect.
It's nice and quiet.
- Not for long.
- I'll show everybody's,
uh, rooming arrangements.
- No.
- Oh, yeah, the rooms.
Yes.
- I might actually be jealous.
- Let's get that locked down.
Starr and Buzz can have
this room down here.
They, uh, get loud, so I'm
not dealing with that sh*t.
All right, Larissa, this
will be your room here.
It's the master, so you
can have your own privacy
if you need it.
- Thanks, bro.
- Yeah, you like it?
- Yeah, it's perfect.
- Awesome.
- Whoa, you get your own
bathroom and everything.
Lucky.
- Yeah, I might actually
finish this book.
- All right, we're
gonna head back down.
You let us know if you
need anything, okay?
All right, and this is your
room, my room, our room.
It's the room so.
- Sounds good.
- Yeah, um, I
mean like I totally can,
uh, sleep on the
couch if it's weird.
- Oh, no, it's okay.
- I mean I just don't want
you to think I might you know.
- Just, just stop talking.
- That works, uh-huh, yeah.
- I love this.
It's, it's beautiful.
- Yeah.
- Really.
- Whoa!
Oh, come on, you guys
can f*ck any old time.
Get your asses downstairs
and party with me.
- Party huh?
- All right, yeah.
- Hey.
- Ugh.
What kind of swanky a*s cabin
doesn't have a f*cking hot tub?
Like serious where am I
supposed to relax with my drink?
- There's a fire pit.
- Ugh, what are we Mormon?
We're gonna roast marshmallows?
Sing songs?
- I mean we could play
some drinking games.
- Yeah.
- Strip UNO.
You know you love
some strip UNO.
- You're right.
I do love strip UNO.
- See.
Now go have a beer, baby.
It'll make you feel better.
- f*cking A right.
Let's get trashed.
Here.
Whoo!
- God I love that girl.
- Where is
the cranberry juice?
- f*ck.
Oh, sh*t the cranberry juice.
Hey, man, good call
on coming out here.
Man, really, this was
a f*cking great idea.
- Yeah, man, I like this place.
It's quiet, peaceful.
Like the whole world
just ceases to exist.
- Um, I don't know, I was
thinking more along the lines
of the fact that
it's a party house.
You know we got girls.
We got drinking games.
And we got strip UNO.
Ooh, man, my d*ck cannot
take a whole weekend of this
let me f*cking tell you
right now.
- Dude, you keep
talking about strip UNO
like it's a real thing.
Like I get the gist, but why?
- Starr's no good at card
games, man, what can I tell ya.
- Oh, dammit!
- Hey, man, you need
another brewski?
- Nah, dude, I'm good.
I'm gonna go gather
firewood for the pit.
- Good call, amigo.
In the meantime I'm
gonna prep up the girls
for some partying action.
- Have fun.
- Hey, who wants some shots?
- Hello?
Hello?
Larissa, come join us.
- Yeah, girl, it's
officially booze 30.
- Yeah.
- I don't know maybe later.
- Oh, come on, don't be
such a Debbie Downer.
Get your booty out here
and have a f*cking drink.
- Yeah.
- No, thank you.
- Is she serious right?
Are you serious right now?
- Hey, Larissa, I, hey,
I make a pretty
k*ller gin and tonic.
- Nope.
No, thank you.
- Oh, f*cking whatever, dude.
Let's f*cking drink, b*tches!
- Hey, is someone there?
Hey, is someone there?
- Like serious she might
actually have some friends
if she wasn't such
a Debbie Downer.
- She
obviously doesn't get out
of the house much.
Yeah, she seems
pretty insecure too.
- Well, sh*t I would be too
if I had the fashion
sense of Howdy Doody.
Like seriously overalls?
I mean just because
it's in the bin
doesn't mean you need to buy it.
- Um, just, just be nice, okay?
Please just attempt to look
like you're trying to
include her for Yuri's sake.
- Okay, I've just
never seen somebody
in more need of getting
laid, except maybe for you.
- Hey, y'all still wanna
make me that drink?
- Oh, sh*t, Larissa
has joined the club.
- Yeah, you want, you
want one shot or two?
- Two, I'm not an invalid.
- Here you go.
Oh.
Oh, sh*t.
Whoa, damn, Larissa.
- Yeah.
What the f*ck was that?
- It sounded like it
came from outside.
f*ck, ow!
- Got ya.
- What a c**t.
- Yeah.
- Oh, come on, a little
levity never hurt anybody.
Oh, sh*t,
Larissa's drinking.
What the f*ck?
- Yo, she's a boss.
- Oh, f*ck, looks
like I got some catching up
to do, so, uh, which one of
y'all's gonna pour me a drink?
- Hello.
Hello, hello.
- Holy sh*t, Martha.
If I'd know it was gonna
get better and better
I woulda asked you to be
my girl a long time ago.
- Wow, aren't you a
sweet talker, Neil.
- What?
It's the truth.
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, come on now,
why would I lie?
- So was it also the truth
when you said the
same thing to me?
- Well, of course it was, baby.
You know you both are
very special to me.
- Ah, really special.
Did you hear that?
Very special.
- Not as special as Britney?
- Britney?
- Britney Adelman.
You know of the Night
Owl two weeks ago.
- What, now what would
I want with that skag?
- You said, "She
had a nice a*s."
- I was trying to say
something positive
'cause she your friend.
Oh, come on, I got
prime rib at home
why would I go out
for a hamburger?
- I don't understand
what you're saying.
- Yeah, it's like every time
we bring up another chick
you start talking about meat.
Like steak and hamburger,
I don't get it.
- I like hamburger.
- You like hamburger.
- It's turn a phrase.
- A what?
- Turn a phrase.
- How the f*ck does
one turn a phrase?
- Yeah, are you sure?
I think it might be an idiom.
- Idiom, turn a phrase
same difference.
- What the hell was that?
- I didn't hear anything.
- Go check.
- What me?
- No, your mother too.
Yes, you.
- Not a chance.
There's nothing out there.
- Neil, check.
- Come on, okay, you go.
- Some man you are.
If I get mauled to death
because of your cold feet.
- Cold feet is
definitely an idiom.
- Amber.
- Amber.
- Amber.
- It's beautiful isn't it?
- Yeah.
- That's a whole
lot of me up there.
- Yeah, with all
the light pollution
it's like you never really
get to appreciate it you know?
- Totally.
You see that star right there?
- Yeah.
- Uh, sure.
- That's where my
name comes from.
Cassiopeia.
- That's so hot.
- You're named after a star?
- A constellation.
Cassiopeia the constellation
lives in the northern sky
and is named for
the Greek goddess
who was k*lled for
being too beautiful.
- Wow.
- Yeah, tough break.
- Yeah, must be real rough.
I think I'm gonna go inside.
- Oh, come, come on
stay, stay for a while.
- Yeah.
- No, thank you.
- Ah, come on, Larissa, stay.
It's only, it's only 10 o'clock.
- You know I'm just so insecure,
and that's why I don't
have any friends.
- Um, does anybody know what
the f*ck that was about?
- Uh, I'm, I'm not sure.
- Yeah, I think she's
just pretty drunk.
- Yeah, bro, Larissa went hard.
I think that's the first time
I've ever seen her drunk.
- sh*t, me too.
Glad she had a good time though.
- Yeah.
- You know she doesn't
really do this very often.
f*ck, I don't
think she ever has.
- Hmm, okay.
Never have I ever
had a threesome
with, with two men.
- Oh.
g*dd*mn, guys.
- What can I say, senior
year was ridiculous.
- Sounds like it.
- Yeah, and that time it
wasn't even with each other.
- Okay, stories, stories.
Oh, my gosh.
Okay, Yuri, it's your turn.
- All right, never have I,
there it is again.
- What?
- f*cking.
Heard it earlier too.
- I still think
this sh*t is wack.
I mean fruit wine?
Whoever heard of fruit wine?
- It's good for you.
Goes down real easy,
just like Starr.
- Hello?
Is someone there?
- Yo, what's up?
- Do you all hear that?
- Hear what?
- Right over there.
- But I don't see anything.
- Stop freaking
out the girls, bro.
- Yeah.
- Who's freaked out?
- I'm just saying you know
it's the f*cking woods, right?
You hear all kinds of
noises in the woods.
Don't worry about it.
- Yeah, probably, but, um, I'm
gonna get, get another drink.
Anybody need anything?
- I'll take one.
- I'm gonna drain
the little buddy.
- Ooh, I wanna help.
Ah.
So?
- So?
- Brown chicken brown cow.
- I think so.
- Yes.
Can't wait to hear all about it.
- Hey, Larissa.
Larissa?
Larissa?
Where the f*ck did she go?
f*ck.
Guys, she's gone.
She's f*cking.
- What?
Let's see.
- Yo, what do you
mean she's gone?
- Like she's gone gone.
- Like she's throwing up.
- No, like she's not
in her f*cking room.
- She's probably just
taking a dump, man.
- No, g*dd*mn it, Buzz, no.
She's, she's not in
the f*cking house.
- Calm down.
I'm sure she's all right,
I'm sure she's all right.
- Well, did you check out front?
- No, you don't understand,
she doesn't leave
the f*cking house.
- She'll be back.
- Just I'm a little paranoid
about these things, okay?
- Mm-hmm.
Rightfully so.
- You know maybe she stepped
outside to get some fresh air.
I mean she did drink a lot.
- Oh, f*ck.
Who ate all the Pop-Tarts?
- f*cking idiot.
I'm gonna go check
for her outside, okay?
- Do you want me
to come with you?
- No, you all stay here.
I'll be right back.
Larissa?
Larissa?
Larissa?
Larissa?
f*ck.
Larissa?
- I really
hope she's okay.
- She's fine.
Can't tell you how many
times I've woken up
after blacking out in the grass.
A little fresh air will
make her feel better.
- Yeah, yeah, she's fine.
She'll be fine.
- Yeah.
- Larissa?
Oh, sh*t.
- Did you find her?
- No, I.
- What's wrong, bro?
- I found her-
- f*ck.
- Her robe.
- Hell, yeah, baby.
She's got the right idea.
Let's go streaking y'all.
- No, there's blood on it.
There's blood.
- Yeah, well,
someone's on the rag.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
- What the f*ck was that?
Larissa?
Larissa, is this a f*cking joke?
- What the f*ck?
- What happened here?
- Some, someone went
through my stuff.
- Uh, maybe it was Larissa.
- No, something's
seriously f*cked here guys.
- You really gotta
calm down, man.
- Calm down?
Something happened to my
sister you f*cking moron.
- I think someone's
in the house.
- What?
- Someone went through my stuff.
Larissa's gone.
I think someone's in the house.
- That abandoned tent, I think
people squat around here.
She was just f*cking here.
- Hey, guys, don't you think
we're overacting
just a little bit?
There's nothing f*cking
here, man.
Buzz k*ll.
- Buzzy!
- Come on, go, go!
- Oh, my God, oh, my God.
Hello.
f*ck, hello, hello.
sh*t.
f*ck, this sh*t's old.
Buzz.
- What the f*ck?
What the f*ck?
- We gotta, we gotta go.
We gotta get help.
- Wait, where's Starr?
- I thought she was
right behind us.
- Come on, Starr.
Come on.
- Cassie, come we gotta go.
- Hold on.
- f*ck.
- Stay on the trail,
stay on the trail.
What?
- Do you, do you hear that?
- What is it?
This is not good.
- Oh, f*ck, I'm sorry.
Oh, no!
Oh, my bestest Buzzy.
- Oh, my God.
What in the world?
- No, not of this world.
- Do you, is that?
- That's a flying saucer.
- No f*cking way.
- Extraterrestrial.
- You mean like aliens?
Like some f*cking
"X-Files" sh*t,
like is that what you're saying?
Holy sh*t.
- f*ck.
- Larissa.
Larissa!
- No, no, no, no, Yuri, Yuri.
You saw what happened to Buzz.
Larissa is not in there.
- Oh, f*ck!
- Cassie, what are you doing?
Cassie, what the
f*ck are you doing?
Cassie.
Hey.
f*ck.
Cassie, Cassie, baby,
come on, wake up.
Cassie.
Hey, hey.
- Yuri.
Oh, oh, my God, oh, my God.
- Here.
- Please, Yuri, let's just go.
- We'll never make it.
If that thing doesn't get
us then the elements will.
- What are we gonna do?
- We're gonna have
to fight it ourselves.
- How the hell do you plan
to stop a monster like that?
- I don't know.
But I've been in worse
situations before.
Never ever forget
your primal instinct,
your will to survive.
This f*ck messed
with the wrong earth.
Starr.
Starr.
Starr.
m*therf*cker.
You k*lled my sister, you f*ck!
f*cking as*h*le.
Welcome to Earth.
We hunt for f*cking sport.
k*ll for the f*ck of it.
You f*cked with the
wrong alpha species.
f*cking k*ll you.
- Oh, my God, Yuri.
- Just a little late.
- I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
So sorry.
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
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Mutant Vampires from the Planet Neptune (2021)
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