06x03 - Clampett Castle

[bunniefuu]

named Jed to pour a mountaineer barely

kept his family dead and then one day he

was sh**ting at some food and up to the

ground come a bubble and crude oil that

is black gold Texas Tea

well the first thing you know old Jeb's

a millionaire looking folk said can't

move away from there said California is

at least sure to be so deluded up the

truck in the mood to Beverly Hills that

is swimming pools movie stars the

Beverly hillbilly

foreign

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there it is son

where would you look at that

you've done inherited yourself a massive

Castle

you're gonna take a mess I'm up and to

keep it cleaned yet

10 acres of forest is crop you are the

Royal granny you can command oath to do

that work okay you're it I'm a knife I

got to gird my loins and go to rescuing

dams

I reckon we all got to pitch in on the

chores Randy's going to be busy doctor

and cousin Marcus Messiah that Castle's

likely swarming with Saxon dogs

yeah that's what US ruling class

in class

Jenkins the gatekeeper has just run

through to say that our American family

is approaching I want the entire staff

to line up in the courtyard at once yes

sir I'll summon them immediately oh and

Jenkins alert them that American

billionaires I have to be a bit

eccentric so we must indulge yes Mr

permission remind the staff that we are

doing this for Queen the country

and for six months back wages

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foreign

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can I get you two weed Benders to

understand we don't got to do no more

work we got oops and knifes and serves

for that if I do everything Jethro of

course if they don't we flog them I

should kind of dog boy but Royal folks

is always vlogging sirs it's a sport of

King we get tired of flogging them we

just drag him to the dungeon and pile

them up on a rack

that's enough hanging by the thumb

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I'll take a vlog to you

see how they come to heal when I roll

talk

all right let's see what we got here

how many years Oaks all Oaks take one

step forward

how about cerse and he surfs in the

crowd

names Charles

is anybody here a swiner

looks like I better send for the raw

flogging I think how long since this

bug's been flawed they've never been

salts see I told you spare the flog and

spool you I take it too hard Mr campus

yes sir Jed Clampett uh this here is

Jethro and women folk series granny and

Ellie May hey Ellie granny come on over

and meet the Royal Vlog

I am major Domo because oh pleased to

meet you Mr Domo or would you rather I

call you major

so you don't quite understand Domo is

short for damisa oh granny Ellie May

shake hands with Mr dumpster

establish him to YouTube

same here Mr domicile shorten it to go

more

nature will do nicely well I got to get

busy and go tonight come on Ellie you

can help me with my arm oh uh same major

is there any limit on dragons you are at

Liberty to stay as many as you can fight

dog he's gonna have dragon joules

tonight

quite a jokester when it comes to eating

Jethro don't you

know you haven't met the staff have you

ever

nice looking folks

slipped my mind too I'll fetch your bag

how is cousin Marcus are you by any

chance referring to the late democracy

yeah but I think you folks ought to stop

calling him that he can't help but if

he's late poor man laying up there sick

no doctor but I'll care them

foreign

itis last month oh

well I'll tell Jed

then it's all right if I leave for

London sir sure I'm glad to hear Mr dry

Dale coming in

did you break kid I'm too late to help

your cousin Marcus what you mean they

brung in an army doctor general

peritonitis

I'm gonna look in on him anyway I don't

trust them Army doctors they're too fast

with the saw

thank you

now see it Teddy I know you miss the old

Master did Mr fabrication find you on

this video being a snit well the new

owners here no

no oh dear

be very quiet

howdy Miss I'm looking for the Marcus's

room this is the room of the late

Marquis Mom oh I do wish you false would

stop bad-mouthing him

an army saw bones around him I don't

understand Mom well never mind you run

along I just won't take a look but Mom I

should warn you the old dog now I can

take care of him I'm done run into two

of your biggest sexy generians

please watch me

every Rascal can't be too sick if he's

got hers to get his shirt

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Marcus

I'm Jed's Keen from across the water

I've come to help doctor yet how does

that sit with you

no no no no none of that you got to

think of me as a doctor not as a

beautiful woman

all right I ain't gonna open the drapes

it'll just give you high blood from your

breathing I best check your pulse oh

give me your hand but don't get grabby

now

well at least they're keeping you warm

feels like a fur nightshirt

but your arms your kind of thing

and them nails needs trimming something

off let's see if you got a fever

they've let your hair grow down over

your eyes

heaven knows how long since you've had a

shade

I never did see the lights

sick folks like this

Dad it's terrible

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you're a dad's door

laughs

how do we look Ellie well if new with

smoke you'd look like a pot Bell and

stuff

no not this here armor makes me

invincible what you mean it means you

can't hurt me it go ahead and hit me

I'll show you

oh

man that's your sense of fillers here

I'm gonna get you for that

they're gone no Ellie don't hit me in

the head with an ax

you should have where's your little boy

had his iron hat on well he did have it

on that it might even Invincible man I

sure hope they got some Dragon dogs

around this Castle wait my ears is

ringing I'll never hear that Rascal

coming oh can I go dragon hunting with

Jethro yeah yeah let her come I use her

for bait

I will too

I got other plans for Ellie's according

to Mr Gray Dale he is English gentleman

coming to call that ain't the way it's

done around a castle she got to be a

damsel in distress before they come to

me she gets up on the tower in her

damsel dress and convince is better help

save me in all the nights it's out of

question comes Galloping up to rescue

her well she picks the one she likes and

they give troughed and live happy every

rounds or clouds them in the head with

ax

and put on your damsel dress and

practice bellary

[Applause]

I think I'll put ahead during this and

spit some Kindle we got a lot of

fireplaces in this Castle

I mean pretty sorry don't do that you

think King Arthur expect Cannon I can't

see oh no he's just summon the Royal

kindling splitter I don't mind doing it

but it ain't Matt's work you got to save

your strength for slaying Dragon

rescuing damsels in distress and lifting

a sage what's a Siege

I don't know but they's heavy even

Lancelot and Galah having that Bunch had

trouble lifting seats maybe that's what

this is first

question marks is laying upstairs with

one foot in the grave did you find out

what he's got yeah a rotten doctor I

better take over or he'll die of neglect

well now granny I spoke to the major

about your Doctrine and he said forget

it he got something here called the

socialized medicine yeah

cousin Marcus needs medicine and the

doctor is out socialize

thoughts

there's no two ways about it

I've got to get me a dragon dog I can't

hear nothing granny I best get this

invincible night off dragon hunting

before you women k*ll him

[Applause]

you've got me saved you want to save and

keep them away from her

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tell me I can take the case before it's

too late

all right granny

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oh my God

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run across any other night be sure and

tell them about your cousin Ellie okay

sir

look out dragons here I come

look at you throw you got your pole

sideways ain't gonna clear the side of

that

foreign

[Laughter]

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oh

dad the dog is done at your cousin

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got my sandwich sign

s though surely you're not gonna wear

them

oh God my colleagues are waiting to

discuss the estate oh here you are

Bradshaw and walk slowly no no please

sir this is the most conservative

neighborhood and the law Court's a class

of hand oh excellent let's go talk to

the judge about my bank reform plan Mr

Drysdale England is not going to bring

back tattoos prison what about the rack

for bad check artist

vlogging for overdrawn accounts

you know I may change my mind about

opening a bank here you people destroy a

man's incentive

sir

yes what is it it's Mr babish I'm

calling from the castle he said it's the

most urgent right bring in Mr drive

there

what's wrong with the castle well I know

this sounds incredible sir but I got the

impression they were being attacked by

dragons Ryan well I thought I heard Mr

favorsham say that bed on horse Jethro

but it was difficult to tell because

there was a young lady calling help save

me and another lady screaming m*rder

wow

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hear me somebody

how's it going up there really

and I go

sure Paul you know United headed this

way

No Sir Paul they're in a nice guy I'm

getting awfully started just

explain commence better Nelly

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he just run smack into a low lemon God

squished off his forget him Ellie

that's Jethro

foreign

dragon hunting before

I don't know them sneaky Rascals sits up

in trees laying for you from now on we

stick into the roads and Passions

[Applause]

he's getting back on his horse I rest

your voice to spell it and let him go to

bellerin again

I've been looking all over the castle

for you

did you see a great big Shaggy Dog pass

by here what is he one of them Dragon

though yeah he's dragging what's left of

Marcus

I want to break this to you gently

that dog is it your cousin

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it's true grant there wasn't much left

of him but it's a terrible way to go

I just can't swallow this story well the

dog didn't have no trouble swallowing

Marcus

foreign

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on

I believe it's a leg burn of the old

born

everyone

my granny she gets wrought up real easy

yes

to tell you sir Mr Drysdale is on his

way to the castle oh good

good I hope Jethro fetches home a nice

plump dragon

come on dragon come

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what's the idea it's going down I'm in a

hurry sorry sir there's a night on the

road ahead of us what kind of a country

is this you want to bring back a

wonderful institution like Dennis prison

and you'll get some Looney Lancelot ride

around

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get off the road Joe nut don't you call

no night no nuts

your Looney Lancelot just lands that

tire

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D

oh no now he's after Ellie oh no granny

that's Ellie's damsel in distress call

guys coming

nice

yes sir Paul there's two of them and

they run like the winds

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we gotta say the proper words over

Cousin Marcus

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I'm beginning to wonder whether it's

worth the six months back wages

Mr Drysdale is on his way another

American oh I'm told he's quite the

opposite of the campus he's a

businessman sophisticated and very very

conservative

I trust this is not Mr Drysdale

approaching

thanks for the ride sir Jethro

the time hello I'm Melvin Drysdale we're

the dragons I beg upon those wild

dangerous creatures you called about oh

yes one of them's up in the battlements

one just rode off

the two around the bed

the Lord give us and the dog taketh away

I don't hardly think no dog could I

don't want to talk about it Jesse just

get me out of here I want to go home but

granny Ellie just hollered herself up a

brace at night

the rest of you can stay but this ain't

no place for Old Folks I don't aim to

spend my last days rooting in garbage

and dodging man eating dog

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but now it's time to say goodbye to Jed

and all his kin they would like to thank

you folks for kindly dropping in you're

all invited back next week to this

locality to have a heap and helping of

their Hospitality

hillbilly that is

set a spell take your shoes off y'all

come back now dear

this has been a film waste presentation

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