06x16 - Corn Pone Picassos

[bunniefuu]

come and listen to the story about a man

named Jay the poor Mountaineer barely

kept his family fed and then one day he

was sh**ting at some food and up through

the ground comma bubble and crude oil

that is black gold Texas Tea well the

first thing you know old Jeb's a

millionaire looking folks said jet move

away from there said California is a

place you ought to be so they loaded up

the truck and they moved to Beverly

Hills that is swimming pools movie stars

The Beverly Hillbillies

thank you

[Music]

well I looked Builder but I couldn't

find my size so I thought oh good

morning cheese

no it wasn't an animal it was just my

boss

he either has heartburn or he's had to

spend a lot of money listen I better

call you later bye

[Music]

that goofy wife of mine that's what I

get married for love well I say it isn't

heartburn how much did she spend 2 500

for a statue

yeah something called ecstasy by Karl

botch one of his original metal

sculptures how exciting well you might

even win the Beverly Hills culture

committee award that is the only reason

Margaret bought it twenty five hundred

dollars oh Chief it's a great work of

art you'll enjoy it why is it deductible

of course not what does it look like I

haven't seen it I only hope with a name

like ecstasy it has something to do with

money

[Music]

what can we do for you I'm supposed to

unload this is 518 Crestview Drive

well that's his address but you ain't

leaving your

[Music]

dump I'm inclined to agree with you lady

it says right here

here all right well the numbers right

but the drysdale's live young oh yeah

now hold on he's driving down don't hold

the cluttering up the neighborhood needs

that's right if Usher would love just

having us here well I don't know nothing

about Waddles all I know is she paid

2500 class for this and I'm delivering

it I'm Mrs Drysdale I've been waiting

for you why did you pull in here take it

easy lady there's been a mix-up we'll

drive over to my face at once I don't

want these peasants ruining my

masterpiece before you drop it off

Excuse Me Miss Godzilla but it looks to

me like it's already been dropped off a

couple of times and run over by a cement

truck maybe you better send for one

ain't smashed up it's the work of Carl

Bots

either fix it or pay for it

I might have expected it every time I

come over here I'm presented with

another display of your abysmal

imbecility

this my dear clad this is ecstasy well

thank you Miss right there we enjoy

talking to YouTube

I said granny

oh look at that drink that song

I'm glad to see that one of you is

properly impressed I assure him anybody

hurting that wreck

that ain't no wreck boy then what is it

we don't know but she sure traded a lot

of good eating for it 2500 clams granny

I think out here that means money learn

tooting it does clams is going for 79

cents a pound

[Music]

[Applause]

I hope the weird looking thing on that

truck isn't what I think it is afraid

Joe it's your wife

what'd I say come on in Mr bright ideal

machine that truck is delivering Mrs

drysdale's new art masterpiece art

masterpiece hogwash hogwash is right I

just paid a fortune for a statue there's

nothing but a pile of scrap metal now

now you might find you like it after

they get it all put together and so

already together you're sure coming

apart happy men did

Ellie run fetch my job he's shaking like

a 50 Cent ladder I don't see why I was

just saying Mrs Drysdale might win an

award with her new sculpture yes from

the junkman of America prize chump

really congratulations so I was

referring to the Beverly Hills culture

committee competition to find the finest

example of privately on door you mean

she's going to try to win with that pile

of that thing on the truck maybe they'll

give her something for keeping it out of

sight ready you you must observe the

sculpture in its symbolic terms it

portrays Matt in a moment of of rapture

and exhilaration uplifted with the joy

transformed by his love of life you must

see it as the artist sees it

Miss Jane there ain't enough in this jug

to get me that pickled come on I want to

be there when they unload ecstasy they

might drop it a small chance of that I

know but we can hope

well I don't see no way to help him so

uh let's go on out back get that

kindling split

a mind a paint a picture

on his pillow push the granny all you

ever done is decorate churns and white

wash fences it's only a step from there

to the big time to go on a pie

everything

animals people Jethro I reckon you'd get

to be world famous

I wouldn't be a bit surprised our talent

runs in my family

my late third cousin was a famous famous

painter and poet who

who

great Golly Whoppers I thought the whole

world heard of Homer grimmel he was an

artist huh and poet that man's tore up

and painted every Burma shave sign in

Pike County run and get some brushes I'm

picking up where he left off

I only wish it was here for inspiration

cousin Homer bye as long as you ain't

[Music]

boy chopping all that wood sure gives a

fellow appetite I could eat a boiled

meal

instead of riddles trying to think of a

way to help Mr drazel win that Art Award

[Music]

you're gonna be so proud of me you've

been painting the fence no do you

remember my third cousin twice removed

the great artist and poet you mean Homer

the sign painter

well I'm carrying on his work I was

gonna do myself for painting for the

contest and then I said

what would Homer have done

so I'm given my Peyton to miss Drysdale

so she can win we're not sweetie a

granny yeah

[Music]

oh he said when he was making up cakes

and I could lick The Mixing Bowl

there was enough batter for two cakes in

that bowl it was awful good too just a

waste of time to make it

I want to see your picture what's it up

well ain't got something from memories

it won't hide I just closed my eyes and

painted the big food Chute like I

remembered him

[Music]

Pedro

you mean who's moving

he's going to give the Drysdale

something to win that Award with a real

art masterpiece forget it Uncle jit I've

seen Granny's paint whoever heard of a

railroad tunnel with teeth in it talking

about that come on I got to finish this

first why it goes with the cakes I ate

it's the icing speaking

[Music]

oh yes my dear neighbor Mrs Fisk I

wanted to thank you for that Seafood

casserole you gave me it was yummy

now why would my pussycat want to get in

your azaleas

oh very well I'll have my Gardener

attend to them

I'm hiring one Employment Agency this

morning and yes I know

if you'd stop being so nasty I think a

gardener and his helper just came in

Central

are you sure this is the best art

masterpiece store yes sir Uncle Jed the

telephone information operator said this

here A Alan Allen is number one in the

listings we'll ask him can we look at

his stuff howdy I'm Jed Clampett and

this here is jester

you have to ask a big favor now you can

put in a fish's eye or what either of us

knows about art but we just like to be

short around and told what's good and

what to eat I'll see at first how much

do you know about azalea plants well to

tell you the truth

Ain't Nothing Uncle Jed don't know about

growing things anyway they used to say

if it grows

here's my home address Lawns need mowing

the hedges trimming the borders are

overgrown the place is a mess and I want

it cleaned up and when you're through at

my place go next door and see to my

neighbor ladies azaleas Mr Allen Allen

uh we don't want to appear lazy or

nothing but you mean we got to do all

this before we can even look at your

paintings certainly

couldn't we just cut it jog through

quick like no see here boy and you too

Uncle Judd was it I want this work taken

care of without delay when you're

finished we'll see about a tour of my

gallery but do you have any complaints

about the money you're getting our money

no except there's too much of it it's

fine

very well Tata

what's taught Tommy

probably got a stuttering problem don't

seen it

[Music]

hi granny what you doing I'm hand

carving me a picture frame for my Jethro

painting

I need just a little cattywampus

it might be a little Tab out of kilter

after all a hammer and a saw ain't

exactly tools for artists I don't see

how Paul make you one when he gets back

that looks a mess

what did you say I I said I'm looking

for bed oh he's putting their monkey

fading time oh well I'll come to the

kitchen with you

[Music]

I've got to use something other than a

butcher knife it ain't no good for

artistic carving What's It Gonna use I

think I'll make better time with a

potato peeler

[Music]

hairy little creature I'll pluck you

bald all over

he ruined it she spoiled my masterpiece

why did she do it why well granny I

reckon Bessie don't know much about art

but she knows what you like there goes

my chance to be world famous there's

only one of those in any artist

still got a chance to win it it's a

pretty fair lightness of some blue

Bananas

that don't look no more like bananas

than that statue of hers does a man is

that what that junkie supposed to be

well she just might as well cover it up

and forget it

Elliot you should cover it up

Ellie you and me is gonna fix Miss guys

Dale statue fix it well I bet you miss

Drysdale won't even let us near it I bet

you're falling like God dear neither I

bet you you're wrong cause nobody's

gonna know that we is doing it come on

[Music]

laughs

[Music]

granny wish me really you'll give us

away

Brazil's got the statue covered up yeah

I'll be ashamed of it and we better go

and get the mud

yeah and remember walk like a corn shark

[Music]

I'm so sick of mowing grass

I don't think I'm ever going to eat

greens again cut four or five acres too

bad Mr Ellen Allen's yard wasn't marked

off better yeah if that ball hadn't hit

me on the head at the ninth hole I'd

still be mowing that Golf Course next

door tricks that into two yards we

cleaned up I believe we've earned our

favor from you Mr Allen Allen oh Mr

Clapper there's been a terrible mistake

the employment agency called I checked

and phoned my house but you'd already

gone

awful a man like you a man with all your

money mowing my lawn don't worry I think

we've done a pretty good job

it's not that

what can I do for you oh my gallery is

at your disposal well he's looking for a

real good painting to buy the best one

you got oh well I have just the thing

one of our most celebrated artists Juan

hypo

[Music]

it's called blue Bananas

bananas ain't blue

beautiful looks like something a monkey

would paint

prices

500 or 1000

fifteen hundred dollars well uh we were

looking more for painting something real

you know people maybe a horse

ah you mean a painting a van Gogh to

lose the track says

that's awful long name for a horse

you know I think I have just the thing

for Two Gentlemen High sophistication

obvious refinement and artistics ever

Affairs but what about us well I meant

you I have something in the back room

I've been saving for for a special

customer it's a genuine Rembrandt

he's that guy that made the movie about

the little bitty French fella I need

painter that's good enough to get a

movie made about him or to be good

enough for us go tell him we'll take it

well I want to thank you again Mr Allen

Allen oh he's one Allen oh excuse me Mr

one Allen well uh bye it's been a

pleasure doing business with you oh the

Legend's been all mine believe me

just uh one word gives him stuttering

trouble

that's cool and as long as you're sure

we got us a genuine Rembrandt don't

worry Uncle Jeff let's get better

educated you just know these things

besides the sign right down at the

bottom biggest lie Sam Rembrandt

Mrs Drysdale as chief judge I can say

your Carl Bach sculpture will probably

win the award

it's not on you see a batch like mine

that's all right have a great admire a

royal cars he's so modest about his work

says he owes everything to a Peter he

knew as a boy a chap named h*m*

well I'm quite busy and I know you want

to get started with your judging yes and

we're so fortunate to have Mr Curtis for

the contest he's so astute and

Discerning so so clear sighted

[Music]

hello

oh

Mr Kevin oh what a surprise

oh

what's you

what is it honey my dry deal we know how

strong you feel about that contest so we

went to the best art store in Beverly

Hills and got you a genuine rembrand

really oh how wonderful I'm so thrilled

I don't know what to do oh

thank you thank you thank you why are

you so happy are they moving they're

giving me a Rembrandt

like a red rat his his paintings cost a

fortune he's the Dutchman that put his

ear off you owe fish money lender that

was to lose the track

Mr trumpet could you bring the painting

over to the house and place it near my

sculpture good I'm going to unveil them

in about an hour and I want you as my

guests

oh no not at my place can't you just

look Over the Hedge fine

I wish I knew what that Tower it was

Miss dreisel has trouble saying it too

shall I take the painting over yeah and

leave it someplace near her statue I'll

see can I find granny and Ellie

[Music]

I swear them corn shocks was moving

heck everybody knows it ain't got no

corn shocks in Beverly Hills especially

moving ones I must be seeing things

excuse me mister for a minute there I

thought you was a corn shock you dead

nice little campus with RhymeZone and

that's all they got on I bet they found

it in the attic to give to miss Drysdale

we ain't giving nobody nothing that

looks like that I gotta get to my pins

homer I'm sorry to bother you but I need

your help again

yeah

[Music]

you get an eye contact in my Rembrandt

which I haven't even seen myself yet may

I say how delighted I am to have as our

art critic Mr Harold Curtis

thank you kind lady

[Music]

time for the unveiling at least they got

a chance of winning now yeah where did

you see the painting we got him I did

shame on both of them what are you

talking about nothing just keep your eye

on the Statue I already seen it

that's what you think

now judge Curtis if you will unveil my

masterpieces

[Music]

my original watch and my Rembrandt

my Rembrandt is ruined my Sam Rembrandt

thank you

granny why'd you do that statue oh it's

just mud Paul it'll wash off after she

wins and I admitted to Improvement but

you should look Mr Drysdale won he's

giving her the prize Mrs Drysdale you

Trailblazer of the Arts I hereby present

you with the culture committee award

oh you're not serious

oh no no for that the abstract

what do you mean what Messi is holding

ah it's magnificent and it's easy to see

who Bessie belongs to you have a very

lovely daughter

beat out by a monkey thanks for nothing

Homer

[Music]

well now it's time to say goodbye to Jed

and all his kin they would like to thank

you folks for kindly dropping in you're

all invited back next week to this

locality to have a heaping helping of

their Hospitality

hillbilly that is Sarah spell take your

shoes off y'all come back now here

Viacom

[Music]

the cup