06x27 - Dog Days

[bunniefuu]

come and listen to a story about a man

named Jed a poor Mountaineer barely kept

his family fed and then one day he was

sh**ting at some food and up to the

grounds

all that is black gold Texas Tea

well the first thing you know old Jeb's

a millionaire the Kim folks said jet

move away from there said California is

the place you ought to be sober loaded

up the truck in the motor Beverly Hills

that is swimming pools movie stars The

Beverly Hillbillies

oh

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you're next Dorney that's not French and

Archibald I'll get to write and comb

your hair

really

are you washing your Critters in the

Seaman Pond well

don't blame her you should have waited

till she climbed out

besides you haven't already used a pond

anyway you know how grannies lie soap

eats a cement wait it's the only place

where I can wash all my critters and not

have to keep changing the water

you could use a wash tub for your

Critter cleaning well but that takes too

long well I've been at this for hours

already and you can see Archibald there

well I'm still on the age

just might be you got too many Critters

you got over 40 dollars you're scared

and a half of cats rabbits goats sorted

Critters wandering around the place

begin to look like a waiting room for

the ark what don't let me give them a

white pow

come on Archibald

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has an awful lot of water you don't say

well why don't you do what my dogs do

give yourself a good shake and lay down

in the sun thank you honey but there

ain't gonna be time Granny's just about

ready to call vittles she is but none of

these Critters is that yet well well

thanks a lot of the thing Granny's

calling them

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I always wanted to try one of these

little bells

family

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ready you all right

don't bother about me go after our

cattle

really we ain't got no cattle I know the

rust has just stampeded off all three

thousand hits

it was Ellie's dogs on the way to the

kitchen they may have been Ellie's dogs

going in but there's going to be Hot

Dogs coming out

nice man's best friend maybe so but they

sure got it in for us all women I don't

want to see you getting upset again you

wait here while we go and check to see

there's no dogs in your kitchen well if

they is they're going to be wearing buns

mustard and relish

if he say no dogs in here you can thank

me for that I thought fast and got him

into the storage room Yonder quit

finding Jethro how'd you do it just use

my head went in there and hollered

Middle's dogs come get fiddles

I don't see nothing out there but no

dogs not a little sack of flowers

jumping over

that old sack of flowers your granny

oh

begin them four-legged flea Farmers run

over me without so much as a fire leaves

looks like you've been not clean out of

your boots

keep laughing and you're gonna look that

way too

pretty much it got carried off in a rush

now where's your glasses I don't know I

can't find them without my glasses

don't found you Booth

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then he did

and here comes Leticia with your glasses

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look at that sweet offer to bring him

back to you no he probably wasn't her

prescription ready promise you my quiz

won't bother you no more yeah your dang

told me won't either they hit the road

or I do oh I'm sorry honey I'm afraid

Her Mind Is Made Up

okay granny but we sure don't bottom

shoe

open and by tomorrow morning the only

fur left around here better be on my

imitation possum stove

I don't care Mr dryersdale did hire you

if you're going to keep on working here

at the bank you're going to have to

learn to speak English instead of German

yeah yeah yes

however when being approached by male

employees you must remember an even more

important word no no

yes

second thought just stick to sign

language a good slap in the face

now practice the greeting I taught you

Mr morning Good Guys dare

still having trouble with English eh

well perhaps a little private tutor I'll

take care of it Chief yes well my wife's

coming by this morning with one of her

paranoid poodles when she gets here tell

her Raymond conference

the next month

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I saw you Melbourne how do you remember

come out from where you're hiding you

know Claude senses every Nuance of your

rejection of it

all right I see you

losing her out of there you look like a

sn*per

don't give me any ideas but how dare you

threaten Claude just after he's been

clipped I'm the one who's been clipped

35 bucks he looks worse than when he

went in his hair's still in rollers Paul

just doesn't have the patience to sit

under the dryer are you quit wasting my

money on beauty shots for this month he

already wears more makeup than you do

then stopped I will not have your sharp

tongue undoing claude's three years of

psychoanalysis

get him out of here oh how can you speak

that way to your own dog I think the

only creature you care for is that

Clampett animal I like Duke I was

talking about Jed

I'm busy oh you Bourgeois Merchant a

haircut always depresses Claude and I

brought him here for a pick-me-up I'll

give him one I'll pick him up and throw

them right out

you have insulted your child for the

last time the last time he is not my

child he's not even my dog very well

we'll see how your love for Animals

Springs up when I tell the city dog

catcher how many unlicensed dogs there

are at the campus oh Margaret no and I

hope he has room in his truck for granny

oh please

don't waste your breath apologizing to

us we have neither the desire to listen

all the time

clocked he's late for his dancing lesson

come on

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really what have you been doing I'm

paying the science to give away my dogs

well I hope you got as much paint on the

signs as you know yourself

doing enough out in front good and you

put on each one uh free dogs to good

home oh yeah so that's on two of them of

course can't help but if the Giants

don't do no good nobody comes oh

somebody will come I best go check oh

well the weather's getting kind of cool

out there Paul I best let you know when

it's warm enough to go out

and uh Wendy's pose that might be

that next summer

look at these signs for a granny shoes

well that's all you trust me it's gonna

hurt my confidence you know that gets

hurt than granny takes after you at

least with a hurt confidence you can

still sit down

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where's the site well size one can't you

see it

Ellie

the only way anybody could read that

from the car is if it drove right

through the front door

but it ain't only too small

they don't spell nothing the letters is

all backwards when you hold them up to a

mirror all right Ellie I'll put up the

sign you and Jethro drive down to the

pet shop and see can they take some of

your dogs oh Paul I'll go on and don't

you worry whilst you're gone I'll try

talking granny into letting them stay

ing maybe but it's going to be harder

than giving a bath to a bobcat

I agree nice to see you in such a good

mood

well uh anyway uh I'd like to have

another little talk with you about the

critters I've said all I'm gonna and

that is if day is here tomorrow I won't

be

I don't know you're forgetting the nice

things about them

I never knew none if they ain't Under

Foot they sleeping if they ain't

sleeping they've eaten they sound a

little like Jethro don't they

don't put up with it from him he's

family

don't from Critters ah there is one now

I believe he's helping you with your

destiny

I'm no help with my housework besides

he's doing a sloppy jump

look at younger

he's mopping your floor yeah and chewing

up my best mop

they showing you they love you and I

want to ease your burden if they want to

ease my burden they can ease themselves

right out the door

and it goes for raccoons too

please help when you pick up you're

wasting your time little hot smoking

sassafras watch that

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we love you Granny

granny is dog's best friend

now what do you see

all right I'll give them one more chance

Critters can stay okay you got a soft

heart yeah and a head to match you'll be

glad you changed your mind well I am

already I think I'm gonna cook up a

special treat for all them dialing

little varmints I'm getting kind of

hungry myself

I'm gonna fry up some fish heads and

throw in some goat tripe and some gopher

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I can hardly wait to dig in that's what

I'm giving the dogs

I'll fetch you a piece of cake

Ellie

you and yes we're getting back from the

pet store oh a little bit ago he's

waiting on a truck around the corner run

out of gas oh no oh no sir hey did

granny fall for my critters tricks and

my signs and all oh well I'm relieved to

know it was you was behind us I hate to

think it was your monkey Bessie that

thought it out oh no sir I thought it up

she just painted the sun

well uh yeah your granny melted like a

snowball on a hot griddle I mean all my

Christmas

random a*s man

I'll bring the elementation falling

horse Natalie Ellie you go enjoy them by

the time you're all through naming them

granny may have kicked him out again

Ellie I'm tired of waiting

why didn't you come in with Ellie what

was mine Jethro I gotta go tell Bessie

that Granny no more

no wonder Ellie wanted you to wait

anymore her dogs around the truck and

folks would think it was a butcher wagon

yeah driving home from the up I

turn there got licked to death wait a

minute

I see some strange faces

are you sure these are all the same dogs

you left here with heck no we left here

with none

yeah this is all new ones Ellie bought

at the pet shop said she couldn't stand

to see him in cages

good scene Granny's got over a man about

Critters

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dead come get your cake

better

wait I didn't mean you

hold it

ready

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I don't think Granny's over her mad yet

good thinking boy now I know what they

mean about a place going to the dog

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oh Jethro just dropped me off we've been

driving around looking for a nice place

away from the house to keep my dogs well

that's a good idea Ellie yeah but we

ain't having no luck did you try a

boarding kennel

I couldn't lock him up nowhere I have a

friend that's the only place you gotta

find well unless you want to keep them

here in my office okay

do something

to get the dogs out of the

baby's money might go with him do you

extend to the invitation first of all

get Fifi out of here Claude will go mad

if he finds a strange dog's hair on her

coat

Nelly

oh Elsa good I want you to take a dog

for a walk do you understand

I meant Fifi Dustin walk her up and down

in front of the bay until I take her for

her tipping understand

no

I'll be right back Chief and hurry

at least you can let me have my own

chair

forget it forget it I'll just sit on the

floor

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adiosa

three million

thank you it must be true about clothes

making the man put on a new shirt this

morning and already I'm causing a stir

it's prestonished say your English is

getting real good no I'll come by to

pick our belly but what about you and me

going for a ride first huh oh no wait I

will run clip beefy an hour to give a

dog a haircut I see how they do that in

the bed shop come on

yeah honey that's a great deal but James

what you doing down here doing business

hours Mr Krampus granny the Commerce

Bank is now in chaos oh he opened up a

new Branch

congratulations you don't quite

understand Mr Drysdale means that

Ellie's bringing her dogs to the bank is

causing a bit of trouble oh I'm sorry to

hear that I don't know don't be offended

we'll make room for the little darling

oh goodness Hathaway's desk out in the

parking lot oh no I mean I'm sorry Ellie

brought the animals down there she was

supposed to find a place to board them I

borrowed her when she gets back well I

can appreciate all he's not wanting to

have the dogs locked up well uh I

couldn't stand for him to be putting a

pass some place like that neither but if

they can't stay here

and she won't find a place to board them

well then I reckon we got to give them

away

but I don't even know what your Fifi is

he is look at the way Jethro clipped her

I'm Sorry Miss Drysdale looks like the

boy cuts hair the way he cuts me what do

you mean Jethro is a genius Fifi is the

first dog in her block to have a

psychedelic hairdo

speaking of hair I think you flipped

your wig oh you just wait until you see

your electric razor

sit down feet

on your desk

clean the shave of the Baggers

Association gave you for being fleecer

of the year

it's time for beefy's

I do thank Jethro again for me Margaret

a sauna bath later Melbourne I must be

off

is off all right I just hope she's not

dangerous well now the only Critter

problem you have is with karate don't

worry I reckon there's enough problem

there for everybody

ready for the last time why don't you

let the critters stay another week it

won't be no skin of your news

get no chances I've already lost enough

skin to him and not off my nose neither

Let Me Clear it's easier to change the

weather than you're mine

Ellie got the dogs ready yeah Jester's

got the sign out front too good

oh what's your ball

I'm stepping in the mud

funny all my little friends now don't

y'all forget to ride

hell yeah I wouldn't count on that last

just a paw print on a Christmas card

okay I got the sign up three dogs to

good homes did you paint a vegan yes

ma'am eight for 12 feet I used one of

the garage doors we can put it back can

you see it from the street oh yes sir

it's real close to the street as a

matter of fact it's blocking the street

at least the ways it was okay Granny

it's all ready to go hey how about me

give an Archibald a haircut we don't

want people to think he's a hippie

you're getting boy we seen a sample of

your work

which one you want to give away first

granny I don't know

look them over

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no I can't do it I can't let him go

there is much a part of our family as

you and Jethro

speaking of just roll where is he

hey Paul

hey

he's coming let's give him a little trim

come on Archibald

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this was what was under all that hair

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now it's time to say goodbye to Jed and

all his skin they would like to thank

you folks for kindly dropping in you're

all invited back next week to this

locality to have a heap and helping of

their Hospitality

hillbilly that is sellers Bell take your

shoes off y'all come back now here

this has been a film waste presentation

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