06x29 - From Rags to Riches

[bunniefuu]

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oil that is black gold Texas Tea

well the first thing you know old Jeb's

a millionaire the Kim folk said can't

move away from there said California is

a place you ought to be so deluded up

the truck and the move to Beverly Hills

that is swimming pools movie stars a

Beverly Hillbillies

foreign

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foreign

advertising scheme in banking history

my television commercial will show how I

took this starving Penny this hillbilly

family living in a wretched little

Backwoods cabin and with my financial

genius transformed him into millionaires

living in a magnificent Beverly Hills

match Chief that's not true you don't

think that's a magnificent mansion

discovered in their property and they

were worth millions before you ever met

them details details no one's interested

in that side of a story Better Business

Bureau might be interested you open your

yacht to those nitpickers and you'll be

stopped I'm sorry but I will not stand

idly by and watch this happen you bet

you won't you'll be photographing it see

yes with that nice motion picture camera

you carry along on your bird watching

trip I refuse to be associated with this

in any way

that's gratitude for you what were you

when I hired you I was the top secretary

to the top executive of the top

insurance company in this entire city

there you are no place to go no

incentive no future here you've got

everything to work for and I have been

working for it for 10 years you promised

me regular raises pension and profit

sharing hospitalization a five-day

working week okay okay say no more

you've got it I have starting Monday a

five-day working week

what about the other thing that's labor

for you turn soft they take advantage of

it supposed to I hereby tender my

resignation

you've been a faithful devoted deficient

secretary for 10 long years do you think

I can Overlook that

one will get you five

I'll get right down to the nitty-gritty

now you stay with me and you'll have a

nest egg for the rest of your life I

mean a real big one are you serious

Cross My Heart

it's this side always fall over you know

what a big heart I have yeah you don't

believe me eh all right

you're gonna feel bad when I tell you

this it's in here right now

am I missed it yes I've been saving it

for you I even have your name on it if I

can't believe it well it's true

now you just stay with me and it's yours

Melba drives here speaking oh hello Mr

private

the cabin is up oh that's wonderful yes

I'll be right over yes goodbye

every bird

Miss Hathaway

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excuse me I have those long papers for

Mr Drysdale

what happened

Miss Hathaway just blew her five-day

week

is this all the milk that goat give I

rock himself well you might as well give

it to the monkey to drink oh I don't

think he knows no more

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Granite

who can't intimidate me this time

just think you've been clawed I was

referring to this courageous and Noble

canine is that what it is

looks something like a dog

those fangs contained ribbons the

toughest stretch Suzette

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I have but to give the command a tattoo

and he will attack a he does and you're

gonna clean it up

you deserve to be set upon

Claude monsters

that can I what are you saying Dale

that's French wolf I'm releasing the

Primitive instincts in This ferocious

animal k*ll

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s

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that vicious Beast attacked my dog

didn't you Hillbillies in your squalid

bubble or a blight on the landscape of

Beverly Hills Jethro yes ma'am I demand

that you'd abolish this ugly broken down

old ruin

granny you can let her call you back

no I ain't

now wait a minute wait a minute k*ll

k*ll

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me slap your kiss at grinder owner

what's going on here how come you to do

this

you watch it

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there's a couple more

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days Dr Prince again granny I'd

appreciate it if you talk America I'm

through talking I want action and you're

gonna get it one week just don't take on

this woman

oh Mr private I'd have been here sooner

but Miss Hathaway and I had a little

misunderstanding oh oh there it is

Margaret isn't that little Captain

beautiful exactly here I asked the

clappers to put it up whatever come

inside darling and I'll explain I refuse

oh please here come with daddy

why can't you explain it here not in

front of the clappers

no Barber baby do you want Daddy can you

carry you inside

well very well not my sugar dumpling oh

excuse us

he surprised his wife with a second

honeymoon

he calls her a dumpling why not she's

built like one

she got no romance this is a tender

moment now let's all get out of here and

leave them two love birds alone

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don't look now but the mama bird just

sold the papa bird out of the neck

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where's my patient oh he's coming too

definitely Paul's fetching him in he

sure got a nasty whack on his head when

his wife chucked him through that door

you reckon you'll have to operate could

be could be where's the plant oh right

here they're locked

and here's my suit

I think I'll show him up with blue

number three use a lazy Daisy Stitch

that makes a real pretty scarf

let him right here boys

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you don't look too relaxed stir me up

some lather I'm going to shave his head

shave my head

now just rest easy I might be able to

shave your hair

that'll relax you

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look at this kid piece of a skull come

loose looks like an eggshell

you missed head I ever seen he wears a

tight hat he's in trouble

Israel go see who's at the front door

okay Ellie go this is my chance to learn

brain surgery

all right I'll go you young and

self-daughter all you can

man can't live with a skull that thing

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you go sterilize myself we gonna make

medical history well what you mean I'm

gonna perform the first head transplant

can I help

you is gonna be the donor

what's the daughter never mind take two

aspirin and wash your neck

okay then what and I'm gonna give you or

Mr Drysdale a general Anderson you mean

you're gonna knock us out with that

ballot maybe not your head is too thick

and his is too thin

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Hellboy a head transplant is likely to

smart

it's always ready doctor thank you Nurse

hey wait a minute are you fixing to give

him my head

you'll get here

I wouldn't look good with a Mustang

same complain you've got a chance to

make medical history

you said yourself this skull's too thin

oh that's the beauty of it boy the way

you eat you grow a new head of bone in

no time

nothing do it Apple swap heads with

Ellie oh sure now that don't make no

sense at all you think you don't look

good with a Mustang

you ain't giving him my head I got sixth

grade education up here and I ain't

giving out to no Bank president

hey

here's a hit for you chop these two

ain't a good match besides his wife

ain't too happy with him now

how's it going to the doctor

he's already got a Mustang

I can't see a banker wearing that hat

that's what I'm talking about oh

messenger uh who is at the door Miss G

did you be here directly

okay she's got the head for Mr glass

figure too

Mr Robert tells me of Performing First

Aid on the chief may I help you sure can

okay

how would you like to be his boss for a

team well I'm afraid I don't understand

Granny's fixed to perform the first head

transplant you're going to be the donor

don't worry

greens red and a zigzag Stitch and folks

will think you're wearing a new necklace

afraid Medical Science isn't ready for a

head transplant well we gotta do

something this poor man's head is

falling apart like an eggshell

got it but that is eggshell you see I I

gave him an egg shampoo this morning

he's right that's a good solid rind you

take my word for it this is one of the

hottest heads in Beverly Hills

what are you doing here Benedict Arnold

I'm glad you like your secretary she's

out Secretary of mine come along I want

to talk to you I don't want to talk to

you you big chicken

is she there he don't recognize Miss

Jane I think she's a big chicken was

that wacky got on the head when he

busted through the cabin door

he suffered from what US doctors call

magnesia I'm going to make that

television commercial with the clappers

I don't care what you say or my wife

either it's a natural the real

Cinderella story from Rags to Riches he

got his false dishonest unethical and

completely misleading yes it'll make a

fortune I'll be the hero of the fancy

business from coast to coast I've been

reading too many of those superbanker

comic books now don't start putting down

Superman

see you you've just given me a great

idea I will be super banker and so

High the rest

arresting hillbilly

hillbilly green types in the dollar sign

exactly magnificent

come on Jethro

at jet bro you will be after that

transplant

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jet won't work get through work give me

a hand with this door of Mr Drysdale

said he don't want no door on the

cabinet

and I can understand him being doors shy

seems to me like a honeymoon cabin don't

have one even if it is a second honey

turns out he don't want the cabin for a

second honeymoon he wants it to make a

movie a movie

star in US

it ain't as good as it sounds well you

see what he wants me to wear let me see

him okay I'll put it on and show you

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he's got me playing a part of a country

rube

who's going to believe that a

sophisticated International Playboy like

I is from the sticks

well boy I reckon you'll just have to do

some extra tall acting but I got the

look to part two this is the face of a

scholar a sixth grade graduate You Can't

Hide intelligence

when you look what Mr drysdale's got

Ellie and me wearing in his movie but

first YouTube plan well he says we saw

playing ourselves well the new tree is

set but do I look like a famous Beverly

Hills surgeon

just as much as I look like a country

hick

wait a minute I think he's all

forgetting that Mr dry deal has had a

pretty bad whack on the head he ain't

himself that's true yeah I didn't even

know Miss Jay worst case of magnesia I

ever did see

it all right I think we're on humor I'll

go along with that first step but if we

don't get better soon that head's gotta

go here he comes now let's just go along

with everything he wants

all right

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there that's better now you look like a

halfway

I certainly can't improve your looks

they're not smart

oh that's beautiful

now let's see Granny I I think a few

warts mold and dirt will help your face

um do those teeth come out no but I

wouldn't bet on you

okay

good now you can film the opening when I

change into my costume all right I'm

rolling

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yes

no longer will you be the poorest family

in the hill

toothless

half witted and dirty no with the help

of the Commerce Bank you will move into

a mansion in Beverly Hills and be rich

beautiful

intelligent and clean

one more time and I'll clean you

I ain't gonna hold still for no not in

green underwear and welcome me with

abandoned irons me neither I have an

idea Miss Hathaway

we'll go to the mansion and sh**t the

happy ending first once they do that

they'll have a better feeling for this

sad beginning right Chief all right

everybody to the mansion your wardrobe

is waiting

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all right I'm rolling action

believe it or not friends that lazy

no-good family of hillbillies now

occupies this beautiful mansion in

Beverly Hills and drives this beautiful

car now how did this financial Miracle

happen I'll let them tell the story come

out shift this father

I am on my way to the stock broker to

see how many millions Mr drysdale's

smart Investments has made for me this

morning

thank you

super Banker

come out toothless girl

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thanks to Mr dry Dale I ain't toothless

no more

where are you going Rich beautiful

Beverly Hills areas

I'm going riding with my rich handsome

Beverly Hills dentist

come out with boys

I am on my way to UCLA for to pick up my

PhD

tell me Rich Young intellectual what was

the subject of your dissertation

the Drysdale system for the

rehabilitation of half whip hillbilly

thank you Dr Bodie thank you

for the old grandmother

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thanks to Mr Drysdale I am no longer a

dirty old grandmother

and the founder and the president of the

g-a-h-a-b society

and what does that stand for

give a hippie a bath

where are you going now Immaculate old

matron I got a date with Mr Clean

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thank you

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but now it's time to say goodbye to Jim

knowleskin they would like to thank you

folks for kindly dropping in you're all

invited back next week to this locality

to have a heap and helping of their

Hospitality

hillbilly that is

take your shoes off y'all come back now

here

this has been a film-wise presentation

Viacom

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