08x02 - The Hills of Home

[bunniefuu]

come and listen to him a story about a

man named Jed a poor Mountaineer barely

kept his family shed and then one day he

was sh**ting at some food and up to the

ground come a bubble in crude oil that

is black gold Texas Tea well the first

thing you know old Jeb's a millionaire

the kin folks said Jed move away from

there said California is a place you

ought to be so they loaded up the truck

in the mood to Beverly Hills that is

swimming pools movie stars The Beverly

Hillbillies

foreign

foreign

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like there's just no such thing it's a

small town anymore

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fine and dandy

well who was that Chad dogged if it

didn't look like the clouds

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thank you

Rod

oh dead and Ellie May just take a whiff

of this Mountaineer take it easy now

this clean stubs you're gonna take some

getting used to it

thank you all right

I thought it was you crappets welcome

home thank you Mr Heller good to see you

Jen I said you old Beaver what happened

to your beard you trimmed it off oh it

didn't exactly trim it granny I got the

pump in the Forge too hard and it caught

fire

where's Big Jethro well Jethro stayed

back in California he's going to college

now I'll do tell what's he studying well

as far as I can figure it's mainly

protesting for what's he protested as

far as I can figure it's mainly College

then why is he going

Chad that's as far as I can figure

see you later Mr Helen yeah yeah see you

at the fair there you're gonna be a fair

yep big one right here in Silver Dollar

City oh

followed with young fellas from these

Hills

he'll know this was the place to bring

you to get a husband granny you're

embarrassingly me oh Chad's an old

friend own this girl since she was born

Jeb take this little girl in out of the

sun before her baby skin gets wrecked

I don't look like nobody's gonna come

and ride them you're doing for a fact

give this Villa one Philly

yeah

okay I do

well we like it

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are you too sure to k*ll him

I used to go hunting with this Rascal

when we was boys

take care of a shorty k*ll him how did

Mr k*ll oh yeah

I love you I don't remember you being

that short

I don't remember being this short myself

no wonder I'm sitting down

faces

commission to come back to me now

yeah I remember you you were uh

uh you were a kid clap it

no yeah no no I remember Jed Clampett

he's a much younger fella

shorty you ain't seen me in 25 years

yeah they said

head clamping you son of a g*n

holy Dandy you ain't changed a bit

neither have you where is she staying

like to stay here you couldn't make a

finer Choice well now all we need is two

rooms granny and Ellie can double up two

finest hotel rooms in the counties right

upstairs above us they faces on the Main

Street we've got a porch in the balcony

there's two Dandy beds through perfect

we'll take them there's already two

rooms in the back not quite as Deluxe

but comfortable all right we'll take

that they took two

what have you got

Jared I'm afraid to Fair has just got a

swamp the hotel is booked solid all four

rooms let me see if you can catch the

buggy driver we might need him oh yes

sir

yeah

I got 90.

there's a show business act got them two

front rooms this year was fair uh three

uh acrobats or jugglers or some such out

of Kansas City likely a Wild Bunch I

just put them up over at my house and

give you them room we don't want to turn

nobody out oh I'd rather not held him

fast loot show people here in the hotel

no hell it's my house I can keep an eye

on them well that's mighty nice here

hey ladies

I have to ask you to pack up you're

moving over to my place

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how'd you like to be giving eggs and

find them in the nests

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bite me that was my hand and keep away

from it

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hey you're right how about some ham to

go with them

some more biscuits too nothing doing I'm

through cooking few rotten kids look

who's calling us rotten this capitalist

dog Master swine reactionary Fink now

watch it fellas call us fellas this is a

girl No Mitch this is the girl

can I have some more eggs no you can't

why don't you and your freak Out friends

go clutter up a campus we're still

hungry so mug Howard Johnson I got a

bank to run hey Jethro this

establishment cat's putting us down

establishment cat are you putting us

down how can I you're already as low as

you can get

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let's get together a couple of hundred

flower children and March on this cat's

bank and pick it protest and demonstrate

yeah yeah yeah we'll show you we're full

of love right you call that love

yeah man we love to pick at protest and

demonstrate

okay brother they'll wrap my back talk

to them I'm with them Whitey who's gonna

get you home we're closing you up Mr

Charlie

Jethro that's not our bag but it belongs

to another group

yeah

you done broke your last treaty with us

you stole our country and heard this on

the reservations he'll face speak with

four oh come on g*ng let's go down to

his bank and organize the demonstration

yeah

wait wait

a minute fellas I mean fellas and girl

you don't want to demonstrate against me

I relate to you thank you I love you I'm

not a banker at heart

I'm a flower child

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hello

oh yes ma'am just a minute Ms Jay wants

to know how soon you're coming down to

the bank give me that oh

now listen you capitalist dude I'm not

coming here that Temple of greed I've

Associated myself with a fine young

group of Strikers and demonstrators and

we say down with the money lenders doll

with a dollar We Shall Overcome

yet I hear correctly the president of

this bank called it a temple of greed

down with the money lenders down with a

dollar why I'll have that man arrested

and charged with treason oh Mr Mr

Parnell wait the executive committee of

the bankers Association will meet an

emergency session this afternoon to

consider the fate of that seditious

media

the bill has been under a terrible

strain you see his largest depositors

have left town and he's worried about

losing 85 million dollars you you mean

this bank has an unsound financial

position as well as an unsound president

oh no

from the money

that sounds like a Las Vegas gambling

Club

oh no no no no no Silver Dollar City is

a little town it's located back in the

Hills where the closets came from and

they've gone back there to find a

husband for Ellie May

so granny gotta come to a Bernie

Bradshaw are you gonna scrap weather

because big mouth is getting married

ahead of elephant don't call her

daughter Big Mouth her name is Victoria

Rowe oh please Jen don't make me face

overnight she'll go to revile in me and

abuse me and I'll lose my temper yeah

well maybe you best ducky inside I know

you got a short fuse and she's just a

punk that can light it

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I thought I saw granny with you well

yeah she uh she had a little shopping to

do oh I have two I'm going to pick up

some material for my daughter's wedding

gown yeah we heard about Victoria rules

getting married congratulations

you when the wedding gonna be Miss

Bragg's child on the 31st of this month

uh that happens to be big mouth's

birthday

Victoria Rose's birthday are you married

yet Ellie Mays no ma'am oh engaged

oh I'm sure you have lots of prospect oh

no ma'am what a pity

but granny said to me I think we ought

to be moving along well nice to see you

all Verna and lots of Happiness to your

daughter and the lucky young man well

thank you bye bye m*ssile

Hulu

real granny well alverna Bradshaw of all

people I just had a lovely visit with Mr

clanford and that poor sweet unfortunate

spinster granddaughter of yours

she's married both any day now

well you don't know the fella it is

Ellie May what you mean she just told me

she wasn't engaged and had no prospects

still think of Ellie May wasn't getting

married that I would have bought this

material for her wedding dress

can't get married

oh heck

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I don't want to talk about it

it's over and done with so I don't want

to talk about it

well ain't you gonna ask me what I don't

want to talk about

all right what is it I don't want to

talk about it your move shorty

she is the meanest most faithful woman

that ever walked the face of this Earth

and I won't do you any good to ask me

who I'm talking about cause I wouldn't

soil my lips with the mention of her

name

now who can that be Alberta Bradshaw and

shame on you for dragging it out of me

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now there's out in the open you and me

has got to see that Ellie beats that big

mouth Bradshaw to the altar our honor is

at stake

I don't hardly think it is

am I the only one in the family with any

Pride oh but you're the only one who

made a bed with over in a bread show

where'd you hear that

oh we're down you and alverna drawed

quite a crap

you ain't gonna let me lose here you did

you and El Brad had no business making

that bet well there's just so much gold

in the body

would you like to be called a mealy

mouth liar a prune-faced old bag

no I wouldn't well neither did she

foreign

I gotta leave for a few minutes

which won't tell you're glad to show

him the Bradshaw gets to kick me clean

to the top of deweyball mountain you

ready you got nobody to blame but

yourself oh

hell Runners got a kick like a mule and

them sidebusters of Hershey is that big

with Souls that's it if she put shoes on

she'll k*ll me

yep

I'm gonna write a letter to gesture or

boy Is that home there all by itself

it's always fine Mr drysdale's looking

after him

oh Mr Drive they always wait

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baby

I told you I was one of you a power

child now you're not going to

demonstrate at my bank now are you oh

man we couldn't bust a soul brother I

guess we can throw those signs away

oh thank you thank you well what do you

say we hit some schools hey what about

the military academy oh man those cats

fight back girls school on Wilshire

that's it let's go

I'll see you later I want to write a

letter resigning from the bankers

Association are you swinging daddy skin

oh

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[Applause]

from the East Mr Parnell you've never

met Mr Drysdale but once you do you'll

see for yourself that he is every inch

the Traditional Bank president dignified

financially responsible why he's the

very epitome of sound conservatism

the garage down here who do you think I

am

this is your conservative dignified Bank

president who are you

Chief this is Mr Ben Parnell the new

president of the bankers Association

down with the dog

bus Spanky

Stamp Out interesting why you

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oh here you are hey this is a Dandy

porch for sitting and rocking

you can see everything that's going on

all over the town sure can grinding

where you been

me

yeah

oh I've been down helping Andy Miller

Paint signs for the fair

it commences in the morning you know

I didn't know you was a sign painted oh

I'm pretty good at painting pictures and

such

I have put them up too

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it'll ruin a Bradshaw by granny

why that miserable little witch

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it'll burn the bread shall side view

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near the hotel

I double dog dare ill burner near the

hotels

this way to hotel

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Bernie Bradshaw heading toward the hotel

sure enough here

Linda how come

oh I hope she ain't coming to pick a

fight with me if she does grin you can

bust her foot and she can't keep you up

deweyball ain't gonna be no fight is a

granny oh she preserves us no chance

unless the woman provokes me to the end

of human endurance I speak only words of

kindness to her that's a spirit trainer

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little warthog

she's provoking me again true

remember a soft dancer turneth away

Wrath

blessings on you will learn

you'll come down here and I'll bless you

from one end of town to the other you

chicken liver yellow belly little runt

and she provoked me again Jed she did

perfect

he saw a new L version

if she didn't she mean Matthew one more

time I'm gonna have to Turn You Loose

bird of Happiness fluster over your head

downwards

I did it granny go get her okay busted

foot crab song Here I Come foreign

Alberta's got longer legs but Randy's

moving hers faster

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black hat black boots black belt bad

news for the bad guys Walker Texas

Ranger weeknights at six on the Hallmark

Channel what's my code name leading a

double life she

premieres Friday night at nine on the

Hallmark Channel

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