08x15 - Buzz Bodine, Boy General

[bunniefuu]

come and listen to the story about a man

named Jed a poor Mountaineer barely kept

his family and then one day he was

sh**ting at some food and up to the

ground from a bubbling crude oil that is

black gold Texas Tea

well the first thing you know old Jeb's

a millionaire the Kim folk said can't

move away from there said California is

the place you ought to be so they loaded

up the truck in the mood to Beverly

Hills that is swimming pools movie stars

The Beverly Hillbillies

foreign

[Music]

could be here's a letter from

Hooterville and it's for you I bet it's

from your sweetie Sam Drucker Sam

Drucker ain't my sweetie he's crazy Mad

Head Over Heels desperate in love with

me but oh it ain't for my sweetie

I mean Mr dresser it's from Betty Joe

and Steve and here's a picture of the

baby look ain't that a pretty family it

is for a fact

looks like they celebrate the baby's

first birthday

man shakes it don't see me year that I

doctored the little darling I am sure it

is flush he's probably tallering around

by now I'd love to see her me too and

all the other folks at Petticoat

Junction same here why don't we just

haul off and go oh

exciting thing to see

get a hold of yourself

[Music]

Uncle Jeff ain't this uniforms up drives

women wild even my own kids

they was cheering something else that's

the truth I am something else

will you be quiet now oh you've done

sass the four-star general I might just

throw down on you with a court martial

he ain't gonna throw up

I'm gonna get packed you're ready to go

the rest you do the same quick as you

keep

what's he talking about go where to hurt

again to see the folks at Petticoat

Junction that's what we was cheering

about yeah we wasn't hearing you General

lung hand

watch it civilian that's your second

offense one more and you're in real big

trouble yeah though why don't you go

change so we can leave change I paid a

whole week's rent on this uniform I

still got six days to go

I'm just about to join the Air Force and

then get a uniform uh-uh no they might

start me out as a colonel or something

general gets a heat more pay

well I guess you know what you're doing

well if he does it'll be the first time

number three now you're gonna find out

what happens when you insult General

Buzz Bodine

now hear this your leaves is canceled

your Liberties is withdrawn and quick as

you fix my breakfast you're gonna March

20 miles with a full pack

says United States Air Force the Air

Force backs me up and the Air Force

gives me Authority well then if the Air

Force give you breakfast

thank you

you take this Skillet and get busy now

that is a direct order

if I was you I would

what are you saying now General reckon

that'll teach you a lesson you've done

ruined a good skillet

[Music]

well I see you're all ready to go I

didn't ask you folks to drive us to the

airport our pleasure our pleasure to

drive there you wouldn't have to leave

your bank oh that's all right as long as

you don't leave my bank what you don't

plan to stay in who to belong do you oh

no just to visit granny LMA come on our

rides here oh miss climate don't pick up

those bags you could hurt your back miss

out of the way

heavy

where's Jethro oh he went out to the Air

Force Base for breakfast and didn't come

back yeah they probably never tried to

feed a four stomach General before you

mean to say Jethro wore that General's

uniform that and a lump on his head

granny they may just keep him out there

at that Air Force Base not the way he is

aren't you concerned about Jethro oh he

knows how to get the Hooterville

[Music]

I am Sam would you look at that yeah I

heard it

hi golly Howard that's one of those

military helicopters

it is yeah and there's a general gift

now he's heading this way hey you reckon

we're being invaded I don't think so you

don't usually find a general leading in

invasion

thanks a lot Roger we're going out

hey look at those ribbons in four stars

that's an important man

Have a Cigar well thank you General

thank you you're welcome Air Force give

me a whole pocket full of give me the

sunglasses too real nice bunch of fellas

went out to this Air Force Base for

breakfast happened to mention I'd like

to go to Hooterville

man you should have seen them fellas

jumping around snapping salutes like

they was brushing flies

offered me my own plane

I'd have took it except for one thing

what's that don't know how to fly

you don't know how to fly not yet but

I'm fixing to learn they such a nice

bunch of fellas I'm thinking on joining

up you're thinking and join it that's

right

uh where'd you get that uniform

at a costume company in Hollywood

ain't you Jethro Bodine I used to be now

I'm Buzz Bodine

[Music]

bro you know what you can get for

wearing a general's uniform not exactly

but I bet it's plenty

oh here comes my train I'm going to the

Shady Rest Hotel and get that there

fella Steve Elliott give me flying well

Jethro I wouldn't wear that uniform

I don't blame you wouldn't come close to

fitting you

Steve Steve

Hughes airport yeah this is Uncle Joe's

idea he thought Mr Hughes would be so

flattered he'd lower the rent did he

well when it was used Pastor I was

paying 18 a month now that it's used

airport he's raised it to 25.

good old Uncle Joe what'd you start to

say about a general oh yes there's an

Air Force General at the Shady Rest

you're kidding

he has four stars is that a general

boy is that a joke

this is a chance for you to make some

extra money oh he wants you to give him

flying lessons

a four-star Air Force General and he

wants me to give him flying lessons

that's what he said isn't it thrilling

it's crazy that's what it is what honey

I was in the Air Force for five years I

didn't even see a four-star general

well you'll be nice to him won't you

nice to him I'll shine his shoes draw

his bath and serving breakfast in bed

but why would a four-star general come

to an out of the way place like this I

told you he wants you to give him flying

lessons

but honey somebody's joking

do generals joke a lot

no I've heard that they don't

oh well you can ask him yourself here he

comes

really is a four-star Air Force General

now don't forget to be nice

worry

how do I look terrible

thanks

General Sir this is a this is a great

honor I believe you met my wife uh

Betty yes sir Eddie and I'm I'm her

husband uh Steve yes sir that's right

Betty Steve

and Betty we're the Elias

I haven't seen my husband this nervous

since we had a baby yes sir that's true

we did have a baby not while we were in

the Air Force to say I I was in the Air

Force not my wife you see she's a girl

so she

sir my wife tells me that you want me to

give you flying lessons I realize of

course that the General's joking

nope you want me to give you flying

lessons

yep see Steve I told you

you don't catch on to things too quick

does he come on boy let's get on up

there and wild blue yonder

where have I heard that voice before he

said he was called The Pride of the

Pentagon maybe it was there uh somehow

that voice doesn't have the ring of the

Pentagon

Hey where's the starter it's beginning

to come to me me too

hey how do you start this rascal

the engine's inoperative

well let's fly with her and get it

what do you think you're doing

running to fly so I can join the Air

Force you know what you could get for

wearing a general's uniform

everybody asked me that must be a bundle

what you could get is the federal pin

no thanks no pain Uncle Jed don't want

me fooling with nothing Sharp

Jethro let me explain it to you lots of

luck

[Music]

thanks for the Jitney right Andy I'll

get the bag

please don't take the train out to the

shade Rest Hotel

do my best to your family

and you don't see much did he no but

when he does it sure ain't worthless

than two

hi there Mr Drucker well Ellie May and

Granny hello Sam Hi Sam well Mr Clampett

ah yeah a jet a Jed granny Ellie May I'd

like you to be my friend Howard Hughes

oh hi Mr you howdy young lady proud to

meet you such as all mine ma'am any

friend of Sam's there's a friend out

well thank you oh Mr Drucker you got a

new cat yeah I call her marmaly

how did their marmalade you sure are

pretty

dead Clampett's fella I was telling you

about Howard struck oil on his land back

in the Hills

I wish it would happen to me

Howard's biggest landowner in these

parts do you tell

what have you got on your lap

well last year

had a flood and the year for that a

drought

don't let him fool you he does all right

he raises barley corn right

you can make good stuff out of them

granny

I mean stuff like bread

there you do you ever happen to come by

my place drop in I'll give you three

fingers of bread

[Laughter]

there's our train to the Shady Rest

hey Jethro's already out there Jeffers

in Hooterville yeah coming a few hours

ago was wearing an Air Force General's

uniform said he was going out there and

get Steve Elliott to give him flying

lessons

[Music]

I'll go outside Down The Cannonball

Siam I think I'll go out to the Shady

Rest with the Clampetts I want to talk

to Steve about a rent on Hughes airport

okay how do we can finish our game later

[Music]

what a darling baby cutest I ever did

see can I hold a video well sure you can

Ellie and now be careful Ellie that's

not one of your Critters

I love Granny

[Music]

look at that Ellie and that young and

take to each other real natural oh Jed

wouldn't it be nice if Ellie had a baby

of her own

yeah but uh first it'd be nice if you

had a husband of her own come on Jethro

you look just fine

Uncle Joe ain't exactly

exactly it's safer than wearing a

general uniform boy what a calm down

from Pride of the Pentagon to a

Hooterville hit hey you're still going

to give me flying let's go aren't you oh

I like the death row I had a safe plan

but a little crazy the line is falling

apart would you like a new airplane

would my wife like a mink coat I'll go

ask her forget it well that's okay

Michael jett's got 90 million dollars

hey Uncle Jeff can I see you for a

minute you're right there and I'll have

some money on my own too now that I'm a

retired General

well ain't I entitled to a pension

I wouldn't put in for it if I were you

Steve that's a mighty fine little baby

congratulations thank you Mr Clapper hey

Uncle Jeff would you buy Steve a new

airplane

you need one well yes sir but I don't

expect you to I mean if that is we pay

you back naturally we well Uncle Joe and

I are sort of in business together what

he calls Carson Elliott Enterprises we

have this crop dusting service

say Steve I'd like to talk to you about

the rent on Hughes airport could you

talk to Uncle Joe yeah if I could find

him but he always hides comes first of

the month

so we keep our plane and Mr U's pasture

airport yeah

you hurting for rent Steve oh I'm

hurting for everything Mr Clampett my

planes and pieces and we work out of

this broken down Shack

Airport terminal yeah

I got an idea why don't we all go to the

pasture airport and put things over fun

I'll go along you all can use the expert

advise of a retired airport General

where are you going we're going to

oversee Steve's crap does an airplane it

does crops with an airplane yeah you see

grounding you fly real low over a field

Steve I was playing to it she don't

understand Aeronautics like I you see

Granny airplanes got a fan up front

called a propeller spins around and

makes a big win understand

foreign

well anyway Steve flies low over the

fields and the Wind Blows the dust off

the crops that's what you call Crop dust

beautiful General

Mr Clampett if you like the idea of

buying out Uncle Joe I'm sure he'll be

amenable

I don't want to get him right

and as I think he'd like it and we could

call the new company Clampett Elliott

Enterprises wait a minute

I want it on that after all this here is

my pasture airport it's fine with me me

too Sam Drucker says that everything is

here man touches turns to gold well I

guess it's just a question of making the

financial Arrangements well why don't I

call my banker Mr Drysdale and have him

to handle it

dearest phones Drucker store I'll go

flag the train good

Jethro

oh looks like he's checking out my plane

I'll get it Jethro

[Music]

yeah

this is impossible there's no opening

between those two c*ck there is now

well listen we're going over to

drucker's store to call Mr Drysdale yeah

I wish I could but I'm stuck

Jethro when the Air Force lost you they

lost a great General thanks

Mr clavut you and Mr Hughes go ahead and

catch the train this may take a while

[Music]

yes operator I understand thank you very

much bye

well I'm sorry Chief there's no

telephone at the Shady Rest Hotel in

neuterville oh fine we've lost touch

with our largest depositor 90 million

dollars gonna go down the drain like

that 90 million is safe it's here in

your bank oh Jed clapping has to do is

write one check and this Bank becomes a

parking lot

yeah

hello just just a moment

tudorville calling don't accept this

disaster it's bad news

what's up Mr Clavin you're buying Carson

Elliott Enterprises I told you there it

is dude we're a parking lot he's bow 90

million

did I understand you correctly Mr Clavin

you're going into business with a man

name

Howard Hughes

I would use give me that far I'm Mr

grabbing it's me your friendly Banker

well hi Mr dry do you

yes sir that's his name Howard Hugh

I met him down here in Hooterville

he's the biggest landowner in these

parts

I thought most of his land was in Vegas

well it might be but uh part of it is in

corn and garlic and then of course

there's a huge airport Mr Clement could

you describe Mr Hughes to me well yeah

he's right here

he's uh I'd say he's a kind of a

ordinary looking fella

on a tall blankie

uh he's got on a old shirt

a pair of work pants and some old faded

sneakers

it's him it's him I would use the

billionaire wouldn't you know that he

and Jed claven would get together money

goes to money you've heard me say that a

hundred times no I haven't you will Mr

clavett do you think Mr Hughes will

agree to do business with my bank well

hold on I'll ask him Howard you mind

doing business with Mr drydell Bank jet

if it's okay with you it's okay with me

Howard says I heard him I heard him what

a beautiful voice it's like an angel

seems kind of ordinary to me

but anyway Howard me is going in the

airline business

when you handle a financial Arrangement

I'll be there on the first plane and

don't let Mr Hughes out of your site

okay

yeah

okay bye

over here that man's so excited he says

you've got a very famous name Howard

well

famous I've been selling corn barley and

Ryan's Valley for over 30 years

hey come on dude he's too good for me

sit right down there Mr Clement what do

you prefer Ridge or black well yeah I

take the ones on this side yeah all

right

it's no use Jethro I can't get you out

of there hey where you going Steve to

get a saw

hey oh no let that take you out of here

in one piece

[Music]

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