08x16 - The Clampett-Hewes Empire

[bunniefuu]

on and listen to my story about a man

named Jed to pour a mountaineer barely

kept his family here and then one day he

was sh**ting at some food

all that is black gold Texas Tea well

the first thing you know old gems a

millionaire the Kim folk said gent move

away from there said California is a

place you ought to be so deluded up the

truck in the mood to be

Hills that is swimming pools movie stars

The Beverly Hillbillies

foreign

[Music]

field yes granny but I can't leave until

I have someone to take care of the baby

oh Ellie Ellie Mae this is a big day for

your husband getting a new crop Dustin

plane yes I know we're both so grateful

to Mr Clan but for putting up the money

well now don't you forget Howard Hughes

is Furnishing The Landing pasture he

likes to call Hughes airport now

anyhow Steve and I are grateful to both

men maybe now Kathy Joe can go to

college

her age

why what a smart young man what you want

Granny Betty and me is going over to

Hughes pasture Airport

and will you take care of this little

darling whilst we're gone I sure will

she is Critter happy she don't know a

puppy from a baby oh they're both cute

I'll get my jacket now you take good

care of her it's Dandy training for you

and

coming down the stairs that's Jethro

had to go clean the Riverdale to get it

watch it first

huh

we're flying I'm gonna pilot now and

quick as we get to the airport I'll take

you for a spin Jethro you ain't had your

first one lesson yeah yeah I'll have

that and then I'll take you first fish

well come on Sam duck is waiting to take

my picture for his newspaper your

picture if he takes anybody's little big

Granny her and Sam Drucker sweetheart oh

don't say it Ellie well it's the truth

ain't it yeah but don't say it it might

get back to Mr Hughes and I think he's

got eyes for me too what were you saying

about Mr Hughes granny well I was saying

that Sam Drucker and Howard Hughes is

both sweet on me and I don't know which

one to favor

Mr Hughes is married

I think I'm going to favor Sam

[Music]

all right fellas now let's get a shot of

the three of you in front of the shack

now for the front page uh Jed you and

Howard be shaking hands

Sam ain't you make an awful big thing

out of this well it is a big thing Jed

oil millionaire and land baron get

together

to an airline

well we just buying Steve a new crop

Dustin plane I am giving him a new

hanger hey no kidding Mr Hughes a new

hanger well now what it is is just an

old hay barn but um when you keep a

plane in it that makes it a hanger a

fella said a lot later I'm holding the

presses now shake hands and look

important I still see you trying to make

too much out of it and if it wasn't a

big important deal with that Beverly

Hills Banker be flying out here to

handle it

seemed kind of excited when he heard

that Mr Hughes was in on it all right

Howard let's shake hands and try to look

him for us

foreign

it's the financial coup of the century

Howard Hughes and Jed private I'll get a

profile shot

okay that's enough pictures send those

to the bankers Journal they can select

one for the front page let them know

I'll be available for personal

interviews as soon as I return from

Hooterville right Chief I'm going to

change to my meeting how are you out

there you have a special outfit just to

meet Mr Hughes of course this is much

too formal oh meantime you rehearse the

girls Trio in that song I wrote Oh Chief

please drop the idea of taking the girls

Trio I beg you rehearse them foreign

[Music]

he's a casual informal man he's going to

meet a casual and formal banker and I'll

let you hear the girls Trio Chief please

not that corny song what do you mean

corny it's beautiful I wrote it now

let's hear the trio

girls

good

Howard Hughes we love you

did we do oh how would you do

you are our special favorite

[Music]

[Applause]

just great now girls finish with the

turn like you will for Mr Hughes

look how crudely commercial the Commerce

Bank of Beverly Hills BH stands for

beautiful Holland

well this Mr Clem it's going to feel

rather left out not at all I haven't

forgotten anyone

[Music]

okay fellas

wrecking the three of us can push it

sure it ain't fair if that is mine time

just in time you throw grab old commence

push I mean in time for a picture I'll

ask hey Sam you want a picture of Jethro

pushing no thanks come on boy hey don't

forget that's an aviator aviators don't

push planes we aviate how soon I get my

first lesson Steve just as soon as we

get this old crate pushed into the hay

barn ah hanger and I get the engine back

together oh okay

[Music]

just push a Jethro don't carry it

[Music]

hey Steve I see Betty Joe coming is it

all right with you if I take a couple of

Cheesecake shots yeah that's fun you

know that leg art really sells papers

especially in big cities like Pixley and

Blue Springs

I think we're too late granny Oh no

you're not you're just in time for a

cheesecake picture what's that well that

Granny is newspaper talk for having a

pretty girl sit on this bench cross her

knees and show her beautiful legs

you will Rascal I

know I'm doing this for nobody

[Music]

foreign

now I want you to take the truckload of

gifts and flowers and champagne and all

that stuff directly to the Shady Rest

Hotel we'll ride up there on the train

girls that's going to Mr drucker's start

where's Miss Hathaway well she's still

in the car

it's out of the way come out of there

mustard you must

you're ridiculous don't be silly a

casual Banker has a casual secretary but

I look so completely

fine just as feminine as can be

come on

[Music]

Melbourne Drysdale oh Mr Drysdale how

are you fine fine

I don't believe I met this gentleman

I am missing

[Music]

oh oh Miss Hathaway I'm sorry I didn't

recognize you you look so uh uh feminine

no oh no yeah yeah that's it and these

are lovely young ladies are the commerce

banks singing secretary

well it's a real pleasure you haven't

heard this song

you'd be interested in this I just took

it off the press it's a proof sheet of

the extra I'm getting out see there's

Jed Clampett and Howard Hughes shaking

hands on their merger girls

Feast your eyes on two of the most

beautiful men in the world

are those two beautiful men

well dead ain't so bad looking but I

sure wouldn't call Howard a beautiful

man believe me he's beautiful who took

this picture I did well that is a signal

honor Mr Hughes hardly ever allows this

picture to be taped

can you blame him

please show some respect Mr Hughes is a

very important man oh I know that say he

and Dad sure did hit it off why them two

just met him already they're closer and

two hogs in a mud wire

Mr Becker please do not refer to these

two men as Hans they're lions tigers

monarchs of the financial jungle okay I

guess I'm just a simple country boy

girls there's a train into the Shady

Rest Hotel oh I missed a Drucker when we

get settled in I'd like to go over and

see the huge airport I bet it's

beautiful

well if you think Howard's beautiful

you'll likely think his airport is too

see y'all later

[Music]

holy smoke

[Music]

oh hi there Pedro I'm just fixing to

feed the baby Ellie what is all this

where did it come from oh from Mr

Drysdale a great big truck pulled up and

unloaded just a few minutes ago I've

never seen so many beautiful flowers

Shucks that's nothing why would you say

the main coach he's in for you and the

baby big coats right younger

who did you say sent these Paul's Banker

Mr Drysdale

oh

what's the matter darling she's hungry

I'll feed her

that's the bottle

helping you

him come on boy give the baby her bottle

that's not very sanitary well he's been

touting it around for an hour and it

ain't hurting

I'll feed the baby

can I help yeah you can feed the dog

come on boy

[Music]

oh doggy look at all this stuff

when Sam Ducker caught you he don't fool

around you see what I'm saying all this

who else Howard Hughes Mary

[Music]

a haircut

here's another one it looks like someone

put this through the wash and shrunk it

that's a man for you

land Stakes what's all this

it's a token of Sam gutter's love and

affection Sam splurgs for all this he's

crazy head over heels mad for me Howie

come out of his mind that's the truth

I bet you're sorry you got a wife

that's the truth too

sure would like to meet your wife Howie

oh you wouldn't judge that is the

naginous woman that ever lived she's the

reason I got so much land

where's the baby in the kitchen with

Betty Joe

oh Mr Hughes your wife was here looking

for you see what I mean Chad well she

says the Beavers is damned up the creek

again and it's convention to flood to

South 40. I'll go with you and help

sluse it Howie can I go too Paul how

about how we as long as my wife don't

see her that woman is so jealous it is

simple I'll put on my blue jeans in the

oh hey okay we can use the help

[Music]

all right no use Jethro I can't get her

out of the hangar

[Music]

hey pretty impressive display huh

Chief you must have spent a fortune not

spent invested have you any idea what

the huge clamp at Elliott Airlines good

mushroom into is that what you're gonna

call it well maybe it should be Cloud

but Hughes Elliott

problem Who's name to put first I got it

we'll call it Drysdale Airline

please go and change my clothes oh all

right go ahead

may we go long and fresh enough too okay

okay

sure brought along a slew his secretary

well there'd be lots of paperwork oh by

the way where's Mr Clampett Mr Hughes

and Mr Elliott well Steve is giving

Jethro a flying lesson and Jaden Howard

is over to Mr hughes's damn he has his

own damn as well as his own airport that

groomer has got everything

well Heidi was a great deal Mr Clampett

I'm so glad to see you oh and this

gentleman can only be the legendary The

Immortal the famous Howard Hughes right

now on the muddy heart he's been working

on Howard Dam beautiful beautiful men

that's what you are Kings of all use of

eight but you haven't lost the common

touch

uh you're just kind of unusual Mr Dryden

well I want to show you that I too have

to come in touch I like the Warsaw might

oh

if you don't mind I would like to speak

to Mr Hughes for a moment I've looked

forward to this for such a long time all

right with me it was all right with

Howard Mr Hughes I can't tell you what a

thrill this is meeting a man like you no

fooling

sorry I'm such a mess oh my sneakers is

getting rev all muddy oh I'll clean them

for you

don't wipe them on yourself it's an

honor to wear your mud

if you ain't the most accommodating

Banker I ever met oh you haven't seen

anything yet oh here let me pour you

some champagne

now if she gets the croup you take some

possum grease and mix it with cocoon

root and rub it on your chair and for

the colic you boil some Jimson weed and

add some

oh come in Mrs Hughes

where's that no good husband of mine I

still haven't seen it oh granny this is

Mrs Howard Hughes howdy hiya

[Music]

are you sure you haven't seen my Holly

not since this morning that stone rolls

up to no good he's never stayed away

from home this long before maybe he'll

be along pretty soon

why don't you sit down and and have a

cup of coffee and something to eat yeah

I'll fix you something who can think

about food when my husband's out Chase

it around

whatever you got well we've got uh

turkey and ham maybe I'll have a little

bite just to keep up my strength

all right be comfortable and now a

little more champagne

oh Miss Hathaway girls come meet the

fabulous Howard Hughes no no no no don't

they're just secretaries and they

have a surprise for you all right girls

do the song for Mr Hughes

we love you

did we do oh how we're here

to the real world party and hot off the

press okay okay my singing secretaries

are about to serenade Mr Hughes all

right girls start again

Howard Hughes we love you

did we do oh

you're right I just had my first line

list how much you call the ace Joshua

yeah Steve said tomorrow he's actually

going up in the air hey girl how would

you like me to take you for a Moonlight

plane ride tonight Jethro go away in the

kitchen and leave these pretty girls

there's food in the kitchen

see you later girl

all right once again but let's be a bit

more friendly this time Mr Hughes is an

informal man all right over here sit on

this side back over that's idea

yeah that's better are you comfortable

Mr Hughes I ain't complaining

[Music]

did we do

what is going on in here

who's that old man that old bat is

Howard's wife

Mrs Hughes this is a rare treat your

husband has told me so much about you

I'll get him for the help and permit me

to introduce myself I'm Melbourne

Drysdale the Beverly Hills Banker now

I'm going to handle all don't look like

no Beverly Hills Banker to me I'm

casually dressed because your husband is

a casual dresser my husband is a swan

is your plane running yeah I just got it

fixed let's go where to let's try for

South America

stop her are you kidding the Green Bay

Packers couldn't stop her this won't

change our plans for the new Airline

well it's just one little detail we'll

have to call it use Memorial airport

she just caught him

now when you look at my extra oh yeah

Sam what's it

hey that's great great he misspelled

Hughes

did not

Howard Hughes the billionaire does not

spell his name h-e-w-e-s well maybe not

but Howard Hughes a farmer does

[Music]

take my picture

what are you doing and Miss Hathaway

send them to the insurance company maybe

I can recoup some of my losses

you want me to sh**t you like that

that's an even better idea Steve

get him a g*n

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