[Music]
said California is a place you ought to
be sold and loaded up the truck
Hills that is swimming pools movie stars
a Beverly Hillbillies
[Music]
thank you
[Music]
well granny shorty and Alberta on the
way to Las Vegas with alverna driving
and shorty asleep in the back seat if
that flavor holds up they ought to be
husband and wife by Nightfall as general
rule men these terrible matchmakers but
it looks like you too has done it how
about us having a glass of your cider
toast a happy couple good idea
[Music]
what are you doing back here that's what
I'd like to know
hey do you sleep in the back seat well
you see what to sleep in the back seat
wake up you hairy little critter
sounds like shorty to me
heard of the Frog being turned into a
prince but somebody's turned Shawty into
a hay
kiss your Melbourne
it's not when I got to the gate I looked
in the back seat and there he was
anybody seen cousin right here in
Shorty's car well what happened to
shorty I know what's gonna happen to him
when I get my hands on him calm down
he'll show up yeah come on in the house
and have a glass of cider
huh I know what happened to shorty he
left with that big tall girl that works
down Mr drysdale's Bank
yes sir they drove off together Miss
Jane's car
and you know did they come back
you take your ape and skedaddle in the
house I'll deal with Shorty
[Music]
[Applause]
thanks for the buggy ride baby you said
you had something important to tell me
but you never did
slipped my mind honey you must get right
out of me can't you remember what it was
about
I think I was supposed to go to
somebody's wedding in Las Vegas
how about dinner at my place tonight
sounds great I've got some groovy new
records good we can dance oh I love to
dance with you shorty you're so cuddly
you too Gloria
and there's so much of you to cuddle
[Music]
better be getting back to the bank Mr
Drysdale have my neck okay but save the
rest for me
I'm sorry you missed the wedding in Las
Vegas and you see one you've seen them
all
[Music]
is that shorty
who's what Jed that girl
oh that was my sister she already kind
of know your family and you ain't got no
sister
do you know my cousins not all of them
that's one of the ones you don't know
what about alverna Bradshaw who
to come out here and get married
that must be the wedding I missed
Wayne missed it yet
she's in there waiting for you
she's got plenty of witnesses that heard
you say the two of you ought to get
married
they don't say we ought to get married
maybe not to one another
to come from
Alvernon if you don't know that you
ain't ready to get married
you know what I mean what happened to
you well um something big come along
Albert
yeah and I had to grab it an opportunity
you couldn't say that
does it look promising yeah
well uh what we mean is uh yeah it looks
promising and uh no it ain't gonna work
out
it ain't yet not a chance now there
ain't nothing still in the way of you
and over in a driving to Las Vegas and
getting married oh wonderful a lot of
Happiness to you both and uh call us
after the honeymoon and we will all
right goodbye
come along darling Oh wait a minute
overnight ready yet what do you mean
there's several things you need washing
first
I'll do them for you
well you can't there's my
unmentionables
we're getting married aren't we
aren't we oh yeah yeah because I has my
bachelor party
bachelor party well yeah darling uh
every fellas entitled a bachelor party
before he gets married and somebody's
giving you one oh yeah planted all made
how come you didn't mention it before
I didn't think of it uh remember when's
it gonna be tonight where lawyers please
where
where nothing just Glory who's giving it
for you ah you know uh what's his name
uh ain't you folks gone to get married
yet oh we can't go to Lamar granny uh
somebody's given shorty a bachelor party
tonight sounds like Mr Drysdale that's
who it is he's always throwing parties
for shorty he's at it again granny
having a big one tonight I'm Duty bound
to go him being such a good friend of
Jed we'll see you later
I don't know if I like the idea of him
going to a bachelor party tonight
well look at it this way L burner it's
the last fun he's ever gonna have
Excuse Me Miss clap it's on the
telephone oh
Mr Clavin the dear friend what can I do
for you well I called to ask you
something
anything at all
it's always a pleasure what is it well
uh shorty kellums is getting married yes
I know are you giving him a bachelor
party
a bachelor party what yes yes of course
you're supposed to be tonight
yes tonight there at your bank
yeah you're right here you bet ah just
leave everything to me why
what was that all about well Mr Clampett
wants me to give shorty kellums a
bachelor party tonight alert all the
girls in the secretarial pool
shorty I want to apologize to you for
doubting your story I just talked to Mr
Gray deal and he is giving a bachelor
party for you tonight
to dig into you
know the Dickens ears regular Dickens
well I'm gonna go rest up for the party
yeah tomorrow you're Marielle first
[Music]
well here they Archie Queen of the
secretarial pool all right fine fine now
girls tonight I'm giving a bachelor
party for a friend of a very important
depositor so I expect each of you to
participate
oh you're new yes sir this is my first
date what is your name Jing bail uh
welcome aboard Miss Bell thank you thank
you now girls as I was saying tonight is
the party so all plan on working late
do we get paid extra oh you are new
now I don't want just another bachelor
party that's why I'm offering a bonus to
any employee who comes up with a novel
idea something with a flair something
fresh and provocative we don't get paid
for working tonight of course not you
work because I order you two right girls
all right
I thought sl*very had been abolished
oh that is that is very funny
that's also an excellent idea for the
bachelor party we'll have an oriental
sl*ve auction
oh goody I get the bonus Miss Hathaway
will transform my office into a Moorish
tent now arrange for the proper
furnishings and costumes for the
beautiful sl*ve girls and Harem girls
Chief I should like to go on record of
saying I disapprove of this whole idea
okay you're on record big deal however I
do approve the bonus for a needy
employee how much are you going to pay
well let's make a hundred dollars oh
that's very generous
oh shorty will have a ball buying all
those beautiful sl*ve girls I'll go and
tell them to spell about the bonus and
wait a minute what business is it of
hers if I get a bonus are you taking it
yourself well naturally but it was her
idea I say it was my idea and I'm the
boss you're taking a hundred dollars for
that idea is absolutely unfair you're
right I'll take 200.
[Music]
what are you doing Sharon
oh hi there fella how are you
oh here you are Fairchild
don't be scared me hella he's just
looking for his love tell him I ain't it
you ready would you oh honey miss
Bradshaw hello Jethro uh granny Mr
drizio sent these costumes over for
Ellie May what fur in case she wants to
be a sl*ve girl or Harem girl at
Shorty's bachelor party
hold it just roll
mean there's going to be Harem girls and
sl*ve girls prettiest she ever seen a
whole flock of them Shorty's gonna be a
shake
's Alberta what is them
is just what they look like
and all of them Harem girls wears
oh there's something else in there
look at this see right through it
soaking shorty
when you say I was supposed to be Jethro
a Sheikh I don't think
what does it she care to do he just
lounges around on a bunch of pillars
with a whole flock of pretty girl
I'm a sheep you're going to be king of
the desert boy are you gonna have fun
tonight I better get me some more rest
sometimes the party supposed to commence
uh eight o'clock Mr Isaac said it might
last all night
yo gonna wish this is the North Pole up
there Nitro three months long
[Music]
shorty Kellum
I don't like the notion that you're
going to that bachelor party tonight
it's all right Alberta I liked it enough
for both of them
Ed are you worried about turning shorty
loose tonight
I am for a fact I get the feeling if he
goes to that bachelor party he might
just stay a bachelor he'll burn has got
herself a wiggler on the line he partner
spit the hook this morning
I think maybe we just better show up at
that party I think maybe you're right
after all it was us it talked shorty in
a proposed in the hilgrim and it's us
that's got to see it through besides
that we might just have some fun
let's put these on and go to that party
over do you think we can get away with
it sure we've seen enough of them
pictures where the bower bam fellas like
Elmo Lincoln
who do I look like over now
and you're a dead ringer for Elmo
Lincoln come on
[Music]
how do I look for you you look like the
doorman at the Sahara Hotel
watch it Harem girl don't insult the
grand Khalif I'll have your head cut off
too tall anyway
and let's get rid of this feather fan
now I want you to take some pictures
tonight so shorty will have a record of
his bachelor party okay okay Grand
Sublime Majestic one
you don't have to call me that
just take the pictures
if I just picked up shorty Keller on
your knees dog of a dog a lonely camel
driver does not address the grand Khalif
as an equal there's nobody here except
Gloria frustrate yourself you fully
ridden jackal or I shall
Hive and your miserable caucus dried
across the burning sand
foreign
begs the inexpressible pleasure of
addressing the Glorious person each of
the grand Khalid
you may speak daughter of a goat the
radiance of a thousand moons in silver
Nathan every a footstep
you're the lustriest guests from the
city of the silver dollars albu Ben
callums known to all as shorty the she
did him enter
enter great chic
[Music]
a it's your clear as a fellow sinuses
there's Gloria
so I couldn't make it to your place
tonight honey but we'll have fun right
here
be seated Mighty chic
I shall summon for your pleasure the
first of a dazzling array of jewels of
the audience to entertain you
behold this lovely creature
captured from the Palace of the Sultan
of turkey and she is going to perform
for you the dance of a thousand Delights
[Music]
foreign
[Music]
summon the next desert flower and be
quick about it sister of a lizard
foreign
whistle or something that thing's giving
me a headache
hi lava howdy candy of the East you're
already in the West
glad to meet you candy shop is a tasty
tempting confection
she is there but why aren't all the
sl*ve girls you were going to sell I
shall have them brought in at once
the sl*ve auction is about to begin
Mighty Chic meanwhile sampled some of
our desert Delicacies
what'd you say nectar
no I didn't touch her
I can't buy them there's my friends
announcing the unexpected arrival of two
Imperial potentates
the shore of Clampetts and the Shad of
hello
welcome Noble visitor pull up a couple
girls and sit down fellas
time for the sl*ve auction
that's the c*ptive that once spawn of a
vulture oh yes great ruler of the world
may you awaken in the morning to find a
thousand precious stones in your
gallbladder
Noble visitors Feast Your Eyes Upon
these tantalizing captives
want a piece let's take a closer look at
the merchandise
exactly like back home is it yet they
don't have sales like this at the
Emporium
as you can see each of these girls is a
gem of rare Beauty each a princess of
Royal Blood princess
and your seldom well they have been
captured now they are sl*ves true Master
you may buy us as you would buy trinkets
we are bubbles Bangles and bees we're
dead Chad and shorty
who will start the bidding not me me
neither
I'll take them all in order to break up
sets Tracy's great Chic I have other
rare Treasures to Dazzle the eyes stun
the senses bring in the newest prisoner
twin of a toad at once light of the
world
Royal tonsils grow to the size of
watermelon
[Music]
to get a new camel driver
let the auction begin wait a minute here
come a couple more
Through The Auction Block sl*ve and let
the bidding commence
I'll bid on you baby I like them big
each career will now identify herself to
her future master
I am the daughter of the sultan men call
me the pearl of Persia
I'll take her under my harem
I am a princess in the court of the
Moorish King my name is Rohan chiha
Habib which means
she who gets cheated out of bonus
of the cage through the cage
daughter of the king of the Vikings I am
called Ingrid the good good honey you're
great but iron my hair
yeah
looking girls
get out of here okay but if I can't buy
one I'm gonna steal one
sl*ve auction yeah come on Big Mama
let's get a look at you
hey look at this fellas she really wants
me who are you honey I am known as El
Verna the angry and we're leaving right
now to get married
okay Alberta but we'll have to take her
along on the honeymoon with chain
together
boy did I picked the wrong woman
I didn't do too good myself Jethro
goodbye shorty
goodbye Gloria it could have been so
beautiful I know Johnny
[Music]
and you had to be a doggone blacksmith
[Music]
Channel original movie Melissa Gilbert
Lindsay Wagner bigger than water
premieres next Saturday at nine on the
Hallmark Channel on the next Hallmark
Channel mystery movie one of death in
prison and a corpse in the woods uncover
organized crime Leah Thompson is about
to become crimes number one mother what
are you looking at in all news Jane Doe
till death do us Parts premieres Friday
night at nine on Hallmark Channel
welcome back now here this has been
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