08x23 - Hotel for Women

[bunniefuu]

all right Uncle Jeff

is ready yet we're in that boy granny

ain't up yet

[Music]

been slept in

Plum disappeared ain't no sign of her

and she went back to the hills with

Albertina Bradshaw no sir I seen her

after Miss batch y'all left I'll bet

she's been kidnapped oh no

oh please don't let no harm come to my

darling little granny that's real

touching boy well I sure don't want to

have to eat Ellie's cooking

I think I know where she might be where

Paul well ever since we put up the old

cabin out back granny has had a certain

look in her eyes I bet you that's where

we find her come on

good morning Mrs hog

Mrs Cow

good morning chickens

well we kind of figured we'd find you

out here granny did you spend the night

in that little old cabin I did and it

was pure heaven heaven this little Shack

yeah let's all move back in here where

we belong and live The Good Life granny

we ain't moving out of no 32 room

Mansion into this dump

sure smells good I'm fixing fried ham

whole cakes and gravy

Uncle Jed uh let's move in here and live

the good life

let me set the table first

oh we're really gonna move into this

little cabin all four of us

well if we don't if granny ain't gonna

give us no peace and no vittles well if

you want to stay in the Mansion I'll

cook for you

well uh let's surpass you kind of

yelling well I need to practice

true true

[Music]

but if we don't do like granny wants we

ain't never gonna hear the last of it

where are we sleep

well you women folks can take the

bedroom just throw a meal spread a

blanket in front of the fireplace

that flows awful hard well it'll only be

till Granny gets this notion out of her

crawl oh here you are

what you doing down here we're fixing to

move into this little old cabin

everybody you're welcome to join us

shorty you can bend down on the floor

with Jethro and me it's all the same to

you I'd like to stay in the Mansion well

you'll be all alone

I'll rough it

can imagine a big old place all by

yourself get a utahrun hotel by myself

Albert and Brad show on here to cook for

you no more I'll make out

that big old mansion is likely to be

kind of cold and lonely without a

woman's touch

yeah that's true

but I'll get along

okay shorty place is yours

it's a deal

[Music]

um

[Music]

foreign

who would like to take a little extra

time at lunch to go and look at a new

hotel for women the answer is no oh all

they need is 15 minutes they can take my

car if you let them go the answer is no

some millionaire has donated his Mansion

has a hotel for young working girls and

the rates are fabulously cheap the

answer is no is it located close to your

house and if you need to have some

dictation done some night they they'd be

available the answer is no they'll work

for nothing yes the answer is yes

you know I'd give in I've got an old

soft yes you're a regular marshmallow

the ranger cheek you say yes the girls

think they'll be able to save at least

ten dollars a week over what they're

paying now

ten dollars a week say that's a lot for

a working girl well it certainly is the

trouble is they'll squander it foolishly

I'll tell you what I'll withhold five

dollars a week from each girl and put it

in a special Christmas fun well that's

marvelous you bet I'll need all I can

get next Christmas

wow this really is a mansion look at the

beautiful ground and the rates are so

cheap I wonder what the catch is

hello girls there's the catch oh

Shorty's cute yeah he's fun

welcome to Shorty's hotel for women

where you live in luxury for a dollar a

day and that includes private room and

bath delicious meals maid service

laundry swimming pool tennis courts poke

and Vineyard over a dollar a day how can

you do it volume

come on inside and look around

girls look at this what a pad this is so

filthy You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet step

in the main Ballroom

it's free entertainment in here every

night really what kind of entertainment

music dancing you have a dancing act

four girls and a fella who are they you

phone me

I'm going to be safe in this hotel of

yours oh of course if anybody gets out

of line just call for the house

detective where is he right here

girls our lunch hour's almost gone we

have to get back to the bank Mr Drysdale

be furious you can't leave yet you ain't

seen the place on the phone Miss

Hathaway she's a good scout she'll cover

for us there's a phone in the lobby no

charge for local calls

foreign

's office oh yes Helen Helen who one of

the girls is looking at the new hotel

for women tell them if they're not back

here five minutes they're fine

where are you just a moment Mr Drysdale

sir

surely what's the address here I don't

know it's a Jed Clampett Mansion it's

the jet Clampett mansion

the Jed Clampett mansion

Mr Clampett is the millionaire who

donated his Mansion for the hotel

you probably realizes how oppressed and

underpaid your secretaries are you think

so why else what are you doing

Helen dear now you girls take your time

in fact why don't you take the rest of

the day off Miss Hathaway will do your

work oh thanks

tell your landlord that I send him my

very best

bye goodbye sir and thank you

girl we have the rest of the day off

and shorty Mr Drysdale would like to

send you his best

I thought I had his best

but if he's got in any better than you

tell him to send them over

hey Uncle Jen look what Granny's got me

doing

good for her but I'm a sophisticated

International Playboy with a sixth grade

education a member of the Jet Set jet

Setters don't slop Hogs they don't huh

no sir uh no we Jets around betwixt

Paris Rome and tequila and drink Saco

pocos

you ain't never done none of them things

set on a jet that makes me a jet set

that you're going to be a

please Uncle Jen let me move back

into the Mansion Where I Belong who the

chores well Ellie May just loves to do

this here rube stuff yeah maybe shorty

is getting the might Lonesome up there

all by himself oh I bet you he's just

dying to have me join him

stop by the bank and bring along the

best of the rest remember jingle girls

only and if they dance as close they get

to Cut Rate hey surely where are you

who is that Ah that's one of the hard

Hill that he's supposed to be in the

house I'll get rid of them see you later

[Music]

oh here you are shorty good news I'm

moving in with you that's good news

that's good news

hey whose car is that oh miss games what

you doing here

uh she come by and offer me a job down

at your bank working in the secretarial

pool he's taking it ain't you

no I don't think so shorty that

Secretary of pool is full of pretty

girls

yeah that's a trouble Judge Roy I'm

getting too old for that kind of

nonsense okay I'm just the right age for

that kind of nonsense

yeah oh I wish I was young again like

you oh come on shorty let me have the

job please

you'd likely get them Timber stirred up

to where they couldn't work

it's your dog going good looking

I forced myself to look homely up

look at that

well maybe

oh come on Jordy please huh

well okay oh thank you anything leave it

to the bank just go right on in the

second Carol pool I'll arrange

everything I really appreciate this

Shorty and to prove it I'm going to give

you half everything I make

half of nothing big deal

I questioned the rest of the girls in

the secretarial pool and three more of

them qualify for Mr Columbus Hotel what

do you mean qualify well it's restricted

to single girls

say that's a great idea let's see that's

a total of seven five dollars each

that's 35 a week that makes over

eighteen hundred a year for the

Melbourne Drysdale Christmas party

you're not going to really deduct that

money how long have you known me

you're going to deduct that money thank

you

only one girl isn't interested why not

I'll let her explain

Miss Bell

Mr dosdale wants to know why you're not

interested in the hotel for women well I

live at home so I wouldn't save anything

do you live in a mansion of course not

do you ride to work in a limousine no I

ride the bus how much does it cost you

since a day that's two dollars and fifty

cents a week what are you getting there

Chief well I live next door to the

Clampett mansion and she can ride back

and forth with me gee that'll be swell I

spent two hours a day on the bus

well my limousine makes a trip in five

minutes it would be fun living with the

other girls in the Secretary of pool and

in a mansion too and it automatically

qualifies you to participate in a

special Christmas Farm wow

you are making it unanimous then

right I give it a try that's a smart

girl you make a wise move thank you

how's bossy doing just fine pal she's

gonna get prettier girl oh good I fixed

Granny's turn so we can have us some

fresh butter

well how's everybody out here it's fine

and dandy how's everything up to the

mansion great okay great if you get

Lonesome you can come get bossy no let

granny stay here oh you mean Miss Bossy

yeah yeah hello Shawnee all right Bernie

well finish your chores everybody

fiddles will be ready soon good I'm

gonna need a lot of food

how come

uh granny he's feeding Jethro that's it

oh yeah I forgot well you and Jethro

come down in a half hour

I'll take our videos up to the mansion

how come uh granny it wouldn't be room

at our little table

that's it

I forgot the way Jethro eats we could

get elbow gourd yeah I'll be back for

our bills bye

Authority seems to be getting along fine

up at the mansion

I reckon him and Jethro thinks of things

to do well two heads better than one

and I've been one of them's jethros

s

Gloria I thought shorty said we'd get

free laundry service oh I can't let that

sweet little doll do our washing tell me

something how come you ensure he is so

chummy oh didn't you know shorty and I

were married

really

really for about an hour

well for Hollywood I guess that isn't

bad

what you doing girls just finishing our

laundry shorty I said I'd do that you

can hang it up for us there's a dryer

right in the under not for these dainty

things

all right you girls set the table in the

main ballroom and I'll hang this stuff

up for you thank you you little doll

you're welcome you big dog well I'm glad

to see you two are still friendly oh

yeah the marriage wasn't a success but

the separation tomorrow

foreign

[Music]

[Laughter]

you're a Daniel right

yeah real comfortable though when did

you take the wearing stuff like this

since you come to Hollywood

he seems to be considerably bigger than

these others uh yeah hello then belongs

to Jethro you have to wear this stuff

too yeah looks great in him you ought to

see him

Pizza sure I'd like to

you started to say something about

videos yet yeah Granny says it's ready

whenever you want to come get him I'll

go back with you right now

you and Jester where is this stuff huh

yeah Styles and men's clothes just

change it

sure enough it is you want to slip into

pair of these they feel real good next

you hide

I believe I'll pass on that

I know it's hard for a couple of hay

shakers like us to change your ways kid

but you got to remember this is

Hollywood

well hello boy where you been down to

the bank

you're looking right unhappy something

wrong

yeah how much you call up tight and I

wonder with what you're wearing

no matter what I'm wearing

terrible was nothing in that secretarial

pool except married women all them

pretty single girls was gone oh

I bet these all albums that new flu

that's going around new flu yeah it only

attacks single people

who were you single you've been exposed

to it sit down quick

yeah yep you got the first symptom

my forehead ain't hot that's your first

symptom cool for it

those guys

that hurt yeah

that's the second symptom tender nose

keep your eyes closed they couldn't

suffer permanent damage

do you have a ringing in here yeah

that's the Clincher come on I gotta get

you in a root cellar right quick The

Root Cellar yeah you got to stay in the

cool dark place otherwise your eyes

level to be ruined

[Music]

tasted anything like that before

children soul food just like we used to

have down home

who's that at The Gardener's half-wit

nephew

[Music]

how about a little after supper singing

and dancing

Oh leaving for the maid somebody turn on

the record player let's start the fun

[Music]

keep your motor running

[Music]

foreign

let me in I want to meet them pretty

girls my pretty girl the ones I seen

sitting in the park I told you to stay

in a root cellar you'd ruin your eyes

[Music]

what do you want a One In

can't you read this in the hotel for

women no man allowed

it sure was fine bills granny just dandy

sorry I didn't have enough for seconds

but shorty told him most of it awake he

must eat as much as Jethro no wonder he

walks into sleep

shorty yes sir he asked me to come up to

the mansion in the morning and make up

all the bands

all the beds yes sir shorty says when he

walks in his sleep he might climb into

seven or eight different beds and not

even know

man sure has been acting peculiar lately

dressing peculiar too what you mean you

stick to wearing some mighty fancy

underwear got Jethro wearing it too well

you know Jethro monkey see monkey do

foreign

[Music]

Jordan got you wearing that yes sir wait

right here boy Jordy

I'm out here on a double

oh hi Jen

hi

something wrong

yeah that

is she the big energy

yes he is that's Jethro hello

he does

boy

get out of them judge oh do I have to

you do now get dog got it now I can't

get into the park

shorty commence packing you're going

back to the Hills

again I got a good thing going in you

under never mind you do as I tell you

and let me give you some advice what's

that put on your long johns before you

get back home what you mean it may be

all right in Hollywood

but you wear that fancy underwear back

in the hills and the other ride you out

of town on the radio

[Music]

I figured that

[Music]

so now it's time to say goodbye to Jet

and all his kin they would like to thank

you folks for kindly dropping in you're

all invited back next week to this

locality to have a heaping helping of

their Hospitality hillbilly that is sell

his Bell pinky shoes all welcome back

now dude this has been a film life

presentation

foreign