09x01 - The Pollution Solution

[bunniefuu]

The Beverly Hillbillies

[Music]

well I'll help you Granny with a house

plan huh oh yes sir Papa name oh he

scares around inside the cabinet dust

how's it going Amber

well handy Little Critter any sure is

that raccoon forward is better than

feathers for picking up lynching she's

right proud to be happy too

Elmer's a Dandy little dust well let's

take our dusters outside and shake them

get some candy then you can take yours

upstairs and have him do the dresser

drawers in the closet

can I have it as an advance against my

allowance 50 cents a week that'd take a

while to pay back I'm young you ain't

that young besides Honest John needs

that money to help fight smog you know

I'd like to throw my brain into the

fight against smog today and he could

they say what it'll take to whip it his

brains and money well betwixt us we got

it made Ain't we all right we got a leg

up on it

almond milk get busy upstairs bye Nelly

oh Jen that reminds me Mr Drysdale

called and said he was coming by to pick

up this money here come well he said

folks had an ought to keep seven hundred

thousand dollars in cash around the

house

he's got the hives from worrying about

it I'm sorry about the highs but I

promised this money to Honest John to

fight small I'm thinking about jumping

into the fight against smog too granny

well Mr Drysdale said that this money

belongs back in the vault at his bank

and he's coming by to pick it up

I don't think I can let him have it

promise is a promise I'm gonna fight

small granny

well I told Mr driving you might not let

him have it but he says he's coming by

to pick it up so that's betrays you and

him Granny I'm gonna fight smoke

how well I don't know but Uncle Jed says

it takes brains and money he tweaks to

us but he's all set

you got money have you

no I'm supplying the brains sitting up

here between these sideburns is a real

brute he only brute you have sits here

at the end of year

I think we ought to encourage you boy

granny

hit no smog from applesauce I do so I

listen to the reports all the time why

today he's having light eye irritation

but that don't worry me cause I got dark

eye

that's a great partner you got there Jim

oh

[Music]

All Right Guard we're in there and get

that money and don't take no for answers

you forced me to wear this uniform to

save paying a guard but it won't work Mr

clap it will recognize me I thought of

that so just wear this disguise

there we go

looks great now get the money

let me take it well you've got a g*n use

it oh oh I don't need to sh**t him

just fire a couple shots over his head

just show me mean business I will not if

you want that money go and get it

yourself a fine guard you are or you're

a disgrace of that uniform

it's crazy I thought I heard somebody oh

Mr clapping it this God is here to pick

up that seven hundred thousand dollars

I don't think I can let him have

whatever you do don't cross him his arm

he's a Mad Dog k*ller

are you a Mad Dog k*ller Miss Gene of

course not Miss Hathaway

what are you doing in that uniform

oh boy if this is your idea of a

practical joke I for one do not

appreciate it or can I imagine Mr

Clampett is amused either no I don't see

that she's punishments are private and I

think the proper punishment would be to

make it carry out that heavy bag of

money go get it now hold on she ain't

talking about that money well if you

want to forgive her so easily but keep

an eye on her any woman who'll dress up

like that

Bears watching

[Music]

hello

Mr drives down hey get up I need this

money Uncle Jed don't want you to have

it so I'm going to sit here to think of

a way to get rid of the small Jethro

that is a problem for a genius to solve

thank you I'm working on it why don't

you go out to the kitchen and eat

something

about I wouldn't eat until I figured out

a way to whip the smog well go get a

stick and hit it

you ain't being no help well neither of

you get up not till I think of an idea

just from picking up the money here's an

armed guard he'll sh**t you hey mister

you look like your secretary Miss Jane I

am Miss Jane what are you doing we're

not happy it was dark when she dressed

this morning I get off the money see Mr

Crawford is not going to let you take

this money okay then you take it come on

get up get it we might just as well go

back to the office hey Miss Jane before

you go say sit down and help me think of

an idea on how to get rid of smog

Jethro Dear Boy the finest Minds in the

country are working on that problem well

yeah but I ain't getting nowhere don't

sit there wasting time with that idiots

hey now hold on just cause she's dressed

bunny don't make her an idiot

Mr Drysdale it's hard to think of

reading ideas with folks yelling at you

where does granny keeper shotgun

sure hope I can whip that smog problem

before I start to death Jethro I'm

afraid that problem won't be solved

until someone invents a replacement for

the internal combustion engine

hey what's internal combustion engine so

that's the engine that the power is the

average automobile the hope is to

convert to steam or electricity

what should I put my giant brain to work

on first a steam car or electric car why

not a gas turban oh I ain't gonna mess

with Hats just cars as well

[Music]

just a dry deal I done told you this

money is staying here

I should try not get off of my money

it's my money no it ain't it's mine

was my sack all right I'll dump the

money out and you can have the side good

just dump it in that truck out front

it's staying here but it's not safe here

what shall you showed her but there's

always going back into my bowl oh Chief

there's Santa Hathaway use your g*n that

is an excellent idea stand back Mr Cloud

but I should hate to hit you you traitor

Mr dry deal get a hold of yourself I

don't promise this money to a fellas

going to get rid of all the small

not Jethro no no this Fella's going to

drill a tunnel through the San

Bernardino Mountains put in a great big

fan and draw all a small God of Los

Angeles

but that's a Preposterous idea yeah we

like it too

Mr Clapper the problem of smog is too

big to be handled locally it has to be

solved on a national level

is that a fact only the president can

get together the brain power and the

vast amount of money necessary why this

seven hundred thousand dollars isn't

even a drop in the bucket well how much

does the president need oh millions

billions so I I'll just take this

chicken feedback to thank you a little

uh study on it no give up Chief let's go

hold it halfway

I'm not through with you what now you

are guilty of conduct Unbecoming an

employee of the Commerce Bank oh big

deal for cowardice in the face of action

a failure to obey a direct order

their Treasury and insubordination

you're hereby dishonorably discharge as

a guard and reduce the rank of secretary

Hallelujah don't expect the Christmas

bonus this year I have never had a

Christmas bonus well don't expect one

this year either now get the truck

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

[Applause]

jokes

[Music]

I understand ain't committing his money

no more now that I whip the smog problem

so I use it to mass produce my steam

card hold on boy according to Mr

Drysdale only the president himself can

handle a small problem the president of

the United States that's right he's the

only one that can bring together the

brains and the money well here stands

the whole kit and caboodle I'll hop on

my steam car drive to Washington pull up

in front of the White House and give him

the brains and money all in one package

hold on boy what you got there is just a

drop in the bucket and it ain't likely

enough money talking about the money

granny Mr dry Dale says the president of

the Bible will need Millions even

billions I was thinking of giving him

all my money okay I'll stop by the bank

and get the rest of it well

if Jethro Goes to Washington I want to

go to and they ain't going without me I

was just coming to that I think it'd be

a fine trip for the whole family

I best go leave a note for the Milkman

tell him he's going to Washington

[Music]

since you have failed to make your final

payment promptly

we are forced to repossess your

automobile

sincerely your friendly Banker Milburn

see if you're telling your own brother

you're repossessing his car well that is

a little cold isn't it uh P.S regards to

Betty and the babies

yes who is it

it's meme it's a drive down I bet you

back a second chicken feed unless you

bless you all right happy to get it any

no chicken could be happier

I studied on what you said about letting

the president fight the small wonderful

the cashier tells me that counting this

I got right at 95 million in your bank

now wonderful so we're going to take it

to Washington and give it to the

president

Mr Clampett you can't give all your

money to the president why not well

because it Miss Hathaway tell them why

not

why not not that way explain it

the closet it is your money you may do

with it as you wish you the buddy you

did well but out

the camera this will take time

government red tape Internal Revenue

Secret Service White House clearance now

I'll work it out and call you well I'd

appreciate it if you'd hurry because

we'd like to get started right away

right away oh wait and you don't have to

give us the 95 million in cash I reckon

the president will take a check well

I'll discuss it with them and let you

know

Miss Hathaway you've got to help me if

they take their money out of my bank I'm

ruined I've got nothing to live for oh

now chief

a suicide note that will stop them take

this Mr Clement because you are

withdrawing your money my death is on

your hands geez no now type that up pin

it to your dress and throw yourself out

the window

me they love you this will teach them a

great lesson thanks bud

no thanks I promise this is the last

favor I'll ever ask

if you're too chicken to throw yourself

out the window

I'll do it

[Music]

all right come over here I can't throw

you out from there

[Music]

what's all the honking for a boy I don't

come up with an invention that beat

Steve yeah I see the boiler you going

yes sir notice how quiet she is no noise

no smoke no smog she runs on electricity

doggy I'm real proud of you boy

[Music]

they're bringing the old fella to the

foremost a little isn't he in a straight

jacket oh no no he's not dangerous he

just suffers from the delusion that he's

worth 95 million dollars there's no

wonder he's in the Funny Farm the whole

family you know it's a wonderful of you

to look after them well they're very

sweet people naughty but

my electric car

hello

you're driving speaker

hello Mr Clement uh this is the

president speaking is that your

interview Mr President oh yes uh make no

mistake about that I am the President

it's him or

uh now Mr Drysdale has told me of your

generous and patriotic offer to donate

your entire Fortune of the fight against

air pollution yes sir it's only 95

million but you sure welcome to it and

we'll bring it right to you right there

in the White House the whole family

if this year's granny Mr President I'll

bring you some pickled paw paws and some

hand shrunk

Mr President this here's Howie Mike

would you like a nice little baby

possible flavor

my nephew Jester went here to see howdy

but he's going to drive us all the way

to Washington in his brand new invention

the electric car

all right no no no don't don't come to

Washington we've got enough people like

you here already are you a public

spirited citizen scientist

but how do we get the money to you

well I'm glad you asked me that I want

to make this point very clear

what is the point I want to make very

clear

[Music]

uh leave your money in the bank

the Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills

where it will draw maximum interest

compounded semian

in the care of your wise and friendly

Banker of Melbourne drystem well

naturally we'll do whatever you say Mr

President but the family is going to be

awful disappointed we was hoping to get

away to Washington oh no no don't don't

try to get away just stay right there

and do what the nice man of the white

coat toast

goodbye

what do you say Jan you said you don't

want us to come to Washington right now

what are we supposed to do Paul you said

you're going to send a man in a white

coat tell us

[Music]

I just talked to the president and we

won't be driving to Washington in your

electric car

just as well Uncle Jeff I never found an

extension cord long enough to get us

there

foreign

[Music]

that was a magnificent performance thank

you while your impersonation of the

president was absolutely incredible

thank you I hope to see you again

sometime take good care of yourself uh

Mr Drysdale aren't you well forgetting

something oh what's that my feet

oh yes yes how much is it

well ordinarily I received 7 500 for a

performance however in this case I'll

cut it in half house 3750

37.50 it is

twenty 40 now you owe me 2.50

oh that's uh thirty seven hundred and

fifty dollars

for five minutes work the president

doesn't get that much and he's the real

thing

excuse me Chief these foreclosures are

red

the rich little the impressionist yes I

am oh Mr little I I just love your

impression of John Wayne huh

well thank you very much ma'am let me

say that if we had girls like you out on

a trail I never would have given my

horse a second look

oh that is marvelous hey Andrew Ed

Sullivan is an absolute classic old it's

Sullivan wonderful would you would you

do me a favor there yeah sure would you

come on our show next Sunday night and

bring your stuffed giraffe yeah I'd love

to have you what else are you going to

have on the show a World w*r One

with the original cap The Living Color

with the surprise ended up

it certainly is it's been a real

pleasure wait a minute you're forgetting

something again oh yes your feet what

are you charging her for Wayne and

Sullivan oh nothing I'll accept the same

Arrangement

[Music]

don't leave no milk for a spell we is

going to Washington

granny

yeah

well you're going to Washington where's

that's what the message says have a good

trip

he's going to Washington we just got the

message

what'd you say Lord

he's going to Washington the fell in the

white coat just bring the message from

the president

we're worried yandere goes

ain't that the Milkman being a Milkman

is what you call a cover cover he's

really a secret agent for the government

yeah I learned all that stuff when I was

a double down spot

well reckon we best get packing should I

convert my electric car back to steam

no I think we better fly

when the president sends for you you

don't want to keep them waiting

well if he comes in will you please ask

him to call his office immediately it's

an emergency

thank you

how do you like it Miss out of the way

Chief where have you been shopping

any messages oh just one but it's a

beauty the clappers are leaving for

Washington

what they're determined to give their 95

million to the president

we've got to stop them get rich little

back you're kidding huh

here's a sign check he can make it out

for any amount he likes oh get up to the

climates And Delay them until he calls

[Music]

they made it they're still here

Jethro

where is everybody

oh hello Bessie is that for me

how are you

[Applause]

damn Mr Drysdale please feed the

critters till we get back

[Music]

yes ma'am thank you

he's going to Washington to see the

president he's going to give him 95

million dollars

oh boy you know the president talked to

him this morning I'm fetching him a baby

possum and I'm taking him a jar of

pickled pawpaws and some hand slung

chitlins

we was going in my electric car but I

couldn't find no 3 000 mile extension

cord

that's a very interesting and Lady how

high would you say we're flying a lot

higher than the plane

[Music]

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