09x09 - Farm in the Ocean

[bunniefuu]

the Beverly hillbilly

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now watch Duke I'm going to show you one

more time how to fetch a stick

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Jethro can't you do that out back Mark's

coming by and I don't want him to see

you crawling around like a nut

Who you calling a nut

you've been trying to learn that dog to

fidget stick for 10 years

well it takes time he ain't as bright as

I

what you doing young I'm learning Duke

to fetch a stick and I don't want Market

you see him don't worry darling come on

boy I got something a lot better than

fetching sticks got a nice juicy bone

for you hot dog lead me to it the bone

is for Duke

how do you like that I do all the tricks

that dumb old hound dog gets a reward

he'll take Duke around back and you

share the bone with him you don't expect

me to gnaw on the same phone with this

old hound dog do you that's what you

call unsanitary he's right Paul don't

mind catch something

you're gonna get yours cousin yes sir

you and Duke make yourself scarce

thanks Paul

come on Duke let you and me go around

back

hey Uncle who did did you see that he

did it he finally done it he picked up

the stick

and why do you reckon he's taking it

around back so you can fetch it for him

some more he likes that

oh

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hi Mark morning Miss clap it

oh I'm glad I caught you I got a little

weird across oh what's that don't say

nothing to Granny about going in the

water or making Ellie into a frog woman

it Plum sets her off I know I think

maybe I got a way to win her over I'd

like to hear it well if granny could

ever see the fascinating world that lies

under the surface of the ocean you can

stop right there there ain't nobody

gonna get that little woman under the

water I'm sure of that but I brought

along projector and screen and some

underwater film oh I see what you get in

there believe me Mr Clampett when we

show this to Granny she'll be as hooked

as everyone else has ever had a glimpse

of the Wonders that exist in the ocean

dips my dog is Mark could be you got the

problem whoop

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he's only taking you there on film he

ain't taking me there I love him

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ain't nobody gonna drowned you Granny

Mark's gonna show you a movie a movie

that's right granny I think you'll enjoy

it is it a western I love cowboy

pictures this isn't exactly Cowboy

picture but I'm sure you like it well

let's all sit down and watch together

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must be mighty interested in exploring

Under the Sea it's not only interesting

Mr Clem but it's necessary for the

survival of the human race is that a

fact

we're gonna have to learn to farm the

sea to feed the people of the earth what

do you tell Mark knows a heating padded

pal well I'd like to hear

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ain't that pretty not to me it ain't

looks like the time the creek Rose and

flooded the Tater Patch

that's where folks are going to do their

farming someday granny well they sure is

gonna have Rusty plows

that thing looks like an underwater bat

hey Granny look at all the fish fish

only looks good in a skillet

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yeah I bet you never thought there was

things like that under the ocean no let

us stay there water is for fish and land

is for people and let's keep it that way

water isn't such an unnatural Place For

Us cranny many scientists believe that

originally we came from the sea the only

sea I come from was Tennessee

but Benny it's so beautiful down there I

just love to see it honey you don't know

what you're saying you got to be enough

to want to go down there I want to go

see what I mean

granny everybody got a right to their

own opinion not when they're wrong

you give up the up this frog man

be a cowboy me a cowboy that's right a

range riding calf roping dust kicking

cowboy

live on a ranch and raise babies not

guppies

don't mind granny she's kind of setting

her ways yeah you can plant that little

woman and grow 10 acres of stubborn I

like the picture Mark made me hungry for

fish

good morning Chief sorry I'm a little

late but

what in the world is all this

oh this Miss Hathaway is to impress the

young Navy Lieutenant who if he marries

element will come into 40 or 50 million

dollars you're expecting to impress him

with this the first time he was here you

throw him out of the office oh I

explained that to him the natural

resentment of a lowly sailored what an

officer

lonely sailor you were in the army that

secret which shall remain a secret to

Lieutenant Mark Templeton I am spunky

Drysdale of the United States Navy

funky Drysdale three ships went down

under me only three well I didn't want

to overdo it

why the left

if you are not to be believed well he

believed me to him I'm as navy as Bull

Halsey

Well you certainly fit the first half of

that name

watch it Hathaway

to you now think Navy this is a ship I

am the skipper you are just one of my

crew

request permission to Mutiny stole that

kind of talk sailor now in 15 minutes

I'm expecting Lieutenant Templeton I

want everything ship shaped for and aft

hatch is battened Bulkhead secured all

hands at the ready now here's your

bosons whistle the Navy blouse

your hat

oh he too

I may at any moment

Bridge or Bridge

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you know it's kind of hard for old dirt

farmer like me to understand that notion

about farming the sea but you fired oh I

am for a fact the way he explains it

makes a lot of sense

of course the most important thing is

that we use the resources of the oceans

intelligently not pollute them as we

have our atmosphere

and that takes research research takes

money well money is something I happen

to have a lot of you act like how much

Ellie well last time I heard it was

somewhere between 95 and 100 million

yeah well uh what if I would take about

40 50 million and Chuck it into this

research I can't think of a better cause

than oceanography well let's talk some

more about this after you see Mr Dryden

okay what are you seeing him about Mark

he didn't say Ellie just ask me drop by

the bank 11 o'clock yeah see when you

get back bye bye

foreign

Mark Templeton to see you sir item

aboard

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Ahoy Lieutenant welcome to the bridge

hey you really are navy aren't you oh

it's in my blood sandwatch Hathaway see

that we're not Disturbed hi I sir what

time is my next appointment uh lunch at

12 o'clock what was that sailor sorry

Skipper missing eight Bells that's

better shape up or ship out hi I sir and

secure that hatch

foreign

like this of course you threw me out so

fast I really didn't get a good look

well Lieutenant I explained that it was

suddenly seeing this uniform and having

those Warriors Flash before me hearing

those young officers yell at me man that

g*n diffuse that faulty torpedo I know

it must have been rough

don't get me wrong I'm I'm not rousing

it was great training it taught me how

to run this Bank the way a captain runs

a ship the just way the honest way the

Navy way sorry to see that shark bite

still bothering you a life of pain is a

small price to pay for those qualities

the Navy gave to me character integrity

and courage you're a good man spunky

Drysdale

gosh sir

no one's called me that since I pulled a

skipper out of the water at Midway

I didn't ask you in to

hear about my five years of

self-sacrifice and devotion

I want to know how things are going with

you and Ellie May oh fine she's a

wonderful girl and her father's a

wonderful man wise too

you know he keeps his entire fortune in

my bank

because he knows it has the strength and

security of a battleship and if you

should ever come into some money I'm

sure you'll do the same speaking of Mr

Clement's Fortune talk to me only this

morning about the possibility of taking

40 or 50 million My Boy tell me more yes

I think it will interest you because you

love the sea don't you love the sea

mark my boy when this old sailor's heart

stops beating in this shock rabbit's

body

I want it taken out on the bosom of the

Pacific

and lowered into the Everlasting embrace

of mother ocean

you really love it

more than life itself

well that's great because you may want

to make a donation yourself

donation to what oceanography that's

what Mr Clampett wants to donate 40 or

50 million for

oceanography yes he's convinced that

Marine researches where did he get that

stupid idea well for me but I wouldn't

call it stupid you're right insane as a

better word for Mr drysdale's for the

sea it's for the birds Hathaway on the

double

hi sir you want the lieutenant piped

over the side I want him thrown over the

side

get him out here if he gives you any

trouble calling Shore Patrol and have

them locked up he's dangerous

suddenly went berserk now here it is off

the bridge out oh

it'll lock him in a freaking throw away

the key Lieutenant Longhead it's a

maniac 50 million in the ocean

hello

oh howdy Mr Drysdale oh listen granny

now whatever you do don't let Ellie get

serious about this Lieutenant tablet

man's as nutty as a fruitcake I've been

telling everybody he's a frog brain but

nobody will listen oh listen I'm on your

side good that makes three of us and

we'll win who's the third one Jethro

maybe we'll win anyway I'll be right

over

what's going on

please stop going down to the cement

Pond for another school bus where you

been fishing catch anything nothing but

a mess of frogs I'm gonna tote them out

to the kitchen oh boy don't bring

grinding up frogs to cook oh I forgot

she's done took a sudden fondness to

them Critters Gray's making pets out of

them I think she's got one name for

every member of the family and me too I

don't know if she does that For Love or

spikes Jethro give me the frogs we'll

talk them down see him at Pond turn them

lips okay Hey listen how about me having

another scuba lesson too come along with

plenty of gear get through I'm surprised

you ain't too hungry to swim I was but I

stopped off at Mama naccarelli's and had

me two dozen pizzas who doesn't all

alone oh no animal spaghetti and

meatballs macaroni and cheese pamoni

rigatoni

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where you been Mr guys Dale spying on

the enemy they're all down at the

swimming pool learning to swim

underwater oh here we go again Dave's

gonna turn into frogs they look like

four frogs now well sit down and have

some

four

fours Mark Ellie Mr clapping and Jethro

Jethro's going over to their side yeah

things are starting to look up

thank you

now let's plan our strategy we've got to

stop Mark Templeton from marrying Ellie

May he can't marry nobody the shape he's

in now that's the truth he wants to pour

millions of dollars into the ocean he

hasn't got a brain in his head oh it's

there but it shrunk up ain't any bigger

than the end of your thumb and that if

it's that big

well there's only one person that can

help him now that's Dr klingner the

psychiatrist in my building yeah

yeah told me he's a

he's a brilliant

and change Mark when he goes froggy

Mark has been to Dr klingner well I had

him there a couple of times

straightened him right out well take

them back take them back

might as well take all four of them

good idea group therapy well there you

are doctor the whole stupid family

Jethro Ellie Mae and Lieutenant Mike

Templeton now who's that little fellow I

don't know must be some neighborhood kid

that jumped in the pond with them well

you know what to do

Miss Jane is waiting to drive them home

quick as you work your magic

come in Miss Hathaway

you know Dr klingner yes hello doctor

it's out of the way well

see you at home well how would you get

there oh I want to walk I need time to

think

and pray

that little lady has the most

extraordinary frog fixation she thinks

these frogs here are her family who's

the little one uh neighbor kid

the most remarkable manifestation is her

absolute conviction that that one is a

lieutenant in the United States Navy

well just as real life counterpart

doctor he's a naval frog man oh he's

teaching the rest of the family to scuba

dog and Grady is convinced that every

time they go underwater they turn into

frogs

it's just an extreme aquaphobic oh well

now I'm beginning to understand well the

first thing we must do is to try and

treat her aquaphobia well that won't be

easy well fortunately she seems to have

complete confidence in me and uh scuba

diving is a hobby of mine well that's

wonderful

it's worth a try oh can you drive me

over of course

Sharon

would you mind rounding up these frogs

of course darling and I'll be back for

my two o'clock appointment

uh George I don't think she knows that

we're married

right I was about to apply for your job

Dr Klinger this is Jed Clampett pleased

to meet you Doctor Mr Clampett Ellie May

howdy doctor Ellie you're much Lovelier

as a girl than you were as a frog

and this is Jethro

howdy doc Jethro and Lieutenant Mark

Templeton glad to hear you're a scuba

Enthusiast doctor well I haven't had too

much practice lately but I still think I

can put on a demonstration for granny

you got a marvelous idea sure is

brilliant well it's a start now I think

it's very important to when Granny gets

here we to be alone oh we'll make

ourselves scarce uh you'll find plenty

of gear over there in the dressing room

oh thank you come on everybody

Here Comes granny

Hallelujah he'd done it again

let me look at you oh you're beautiful

perfect just like you was oh I'm so

happy Miss Jane thank you for fetching

him home and thank Dr cleaners for

another miracle oh you can drag him

yourself granny he's here Dr Klinger

that's right where he's fixing to go

into the cement Pond and swim underwater

oh no not not him that's right granny

see Granny we ain't so crazy he wants to

be a frogman himself Oh no I got stop

him

doctor

if you're in there get out quick before

it's too late the longer you stay under

the water the more chance you have of

turning into it oh no

doctor you of all people after you've

seen what happened to the others how

could you do it I don't know nobody that

can change you back

what's that pretty Secretary of yours

going to think when you're happy and

looking like that

to say nothing of your next patient

oh well

all I can do is take you down there and

try and explain how it happened

come on now

come on over here

get in the shack

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now darling before I show you what's in

this sack I want to ask you how long

have you been the doctor secretary oh

golly let's see uh I worked for him a

year before we got married so that would

be going on

you're his wife

that's right oh me that's gonna make it

double hard hard to what to open this

sack before I do I want you to think

back to your wedding vows remember how

you promised to take the doctor for

Better or For Worse yes

well

you've had the better

here comes the worst

there he is honey

whoo your lawful wedded husband George M

klingner Jr

uh yes yes of course yes uh hi George my

you certainly are looking well

Mrs claimer you're a brave woman and

you're taking this real good but let's

face it he don't look well he's a mess

well he certainly isn't the man I'm

married

that's for sure what he aimed to do with

him I think I'll take him home to the

children you like youngins yes

they might enjoy keeping him in the fish

pond

this is cleaner it's one thing to be

brave but if that man ever needed love

and affection he needs it now yes and

and you're right and I will see that

that he does get it just remembered

something it might be our Salvation do

you remember the story of the pretty

girl that kissed the Frog and turned him

into a handsome prince yes

try it

well I hardly think that I I've seen it

worked on him try and pick him up in

your hands and kiss him

well I am I I don't I won't watch I know

it's embarrassing Ellie felt the same

way I'll leave thank you good luck and

I'll be praying for you

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well George

you wanted to be a psychiatrist

everything all right

the Frog lady was just here granny yes

so that's why I missed her at the

swimming pool

who's that

you

handsome devil isn't he I think so

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well now it's time to say goodbye to Jet

and all his skin they would like to

thank you folks for kindly dropping in

they're all invited back next week to

this locality to have a heaping and

helping of their Hospitality

hillbilly that is set a spell take your

shoes off don't come back now here this

has been a film wise presentation

Viacom

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