09x16 - Women's Lib

[bunniefuu]

the Beverly hillbilly

[Applause]

[Music]

Paul and Jethro is up they'll be down to

breakfast in a few minutes good let's

get our signs and commence picking in

for the women's

[Music]

lip oh b i pretty near forgot your

son there you

are Ellie them girls at the bank didn't

say nothing about apes

Li well B is girl never mind I hear the

minute

coming what's going on read the

signs yeah free women hot dog I'll take

a couple where is

that what's this all about us women who

have suffered for centuries of of uh

discrimination in subservience yeah and

we hereby demand equality and

Proclaim uh our independence from the

domination of men right where'd you hear

that speech oh the girls out to bank

learned it to us but it's what's in the

minds and hearts of women everywhere we

got to have our

freedom could we talk about this after

breakfast that coffee smells awful good

would you like me to pour it for you

well yeah

[Music]

thanks well here I go male

[Music]

supremacist what' you do that for for

women's

lib make your own coffee well okay but

uh what's women's Li Liberation from the

tyranny of of the chauvinistic male

dictatorship right I looked all over the

place I can't find no women these signs

is what you call false advertising get

rid of them how would you like to have

it wrapped around your head Ellie don't

stoot to the level of the male brute yes

ma'am granny come on

Bessie Uncle jet what are you doing

making coffee men ain't supposed to do

that that's what women is for here

granny get

busy take it easy boy but I'm hungry I

want my breakfast boy go set at the

table that's more like it he granny I'll

have a double help in

everything there goes your typical

pleasure seeking male animal you men is

all alike all you want to do is eat and

get to your country club Country Club

whilst us women stay home and sl*ve you

is out sh**ting golfs tennis Martini on

the rocks and having steam

saers je through and me spends our days

mowing along raking leaves trimming the

hedges chopping wood painting plumbing

and repairing there you are you is out

having fun whilst we is home

[Music]

slaving oh no not again good morning

male supremus good morning oppressor of

women good morning chauvinist Pig does

this heat belong to one of you yes it's

mine well all of you hop in it get out

of here I'll repossess it it's all paid

for it's mine free and clear and we have

a permit to pick it here and as soon as

the rest of the girls arrive we will

pick up this Bank from one end to the

other that is what you

think Joe Charlie come out here bring

your baseball bats now I'll give you one

more chance of

dispers all right clear the

sidewalk okay

Susie

F gentlemen would you care to try for

broken arm

are you husky GS afraid of three girls

no just one of them that's

Susie okay I'm impressed now let's make

peace come back to work for me and

you'll get a raise and a bonus h* right

victory at last no no not you two just

Susie just me right forget these losers

and work for me you'll have a

combination job as my secretary and

bodyguard you have a great deal just

signed right here on the dot his m

[Music]

I thought we were going to have

breakfast at our country club we don't

belong to No Country Club well where we

going to eat right here who's going to

cook looks like you're going to be one

of us okay I'll have bacon and eggs ham

and grits pancakes and sausage lots of

toast and jelly and a side order of hush

puppies you sure that's enough

uh you better start me off with a big

bowl of cereal covered with bananas and

strawberries no steak and

potatoes okay as long as you're cooking

throw that in too and RAR on a steak

you're through get up from there we're

going to match pennies for this after

breakfast Uncle J I'm too hungry to play

games now you're going to match Penny to

see who does the cooking other want will

wash the

dishes okay I'll match

you head tails you do the cooking I'll

wash the dishes

okay call me when you're

[Music]

ready I'm ready for you Uncle Jen what

old did you cook everything that was in

ice box ham Hawks couple dozen eggs SED

bacon grits and I even warmed up the

leftover pot roast and

tatoes M M them B smells good they

tasted good too you ate them yep all of

them yep and why did you call me in well

now it's time for your half of the work

not done the cooking you wash the dishes

[Music]

look granny Paul's home you and Jethro

must have sneaked in the back way I

reckon so ladies can we talk for a

minute what about women's Li is you

furet or again it I'm furet now can we

talk no you talking the rights that we

are seeking is uh what is that again

Ellie nonnegotiable that means we got to

get them you got him you give in Paul

absolutely you surrenders uncondition

you admit that women's as good as men

better does that mean that

you what is that

again uh capitulates yeah does you do

that whatever that means I doesn't well

Ellie I reckon that means we has won

good my hands is blistered from toen his

sign mine

too what do you say we celebrate by

fetching up one of them great big

hickory smoked hams out of The Root

Cellar and frying us up a Miss of it

that sounds good yeah this picking gives

me an

[Music]

appetite to tell you the truth Jen it

was mostly them girls down at the bank

if got

it what's that that's Uncle Jed's in my

laundry you forgot to pick it up this

morning Granny yes R now hop to it and

no starch in my collar this time it's

saw in my neck yes roll oh and here's

some socks that needs darning

g roll and these pants needs

patching and Ellie our beds ain't made

now will you stop playing with that ape

and get at it you and Granny done wasted

half the

[Music]

day Ellie back to the women's lip really

Ellie the boy didn't mean he was

[Music]

just boy this is ridiculous a Hollywood

Playboy washing clothes word was to get

get out to The Hollywood Gossip

columnist and fan magazines I'd be the

laughing stock of Schwab's

drugstore what's that that's kind of a

meeting place for Hollywood celebrities

I hanged out there a lot except when it

runs me

off well I don't think they'll be

running you off

today by the time you get through

washing and ironing it's going to be

tomorrow

J have you ever thought what I might do

if I was forced to continue this

humiliating kind of work oh what might

you do I might just run away from

home that's the first ray of sunshine on

a dark

day well how are you superior male

dictators doing we're doing the best we

can Paul you don't have to wash clothes

like this there's a washer right in

under we didn't know how to run

it what do you think you're doing I'm

darn it sucks

granny look at this you ain't turning

socks you're ruining them I'm doing the

best I

can you'll have to walk off a pigeon

toad to wear

these I reckon it will take a while for

me to get the knck of it granny Let's

Help Paul only if he's ready to change

his ways I'm

ready do you admit that men ain't

Superior I'll put it in right are you

through grinding women under your

heels oh yeah no more of that care you

for women's lib heart and soul all right

Ellie you take over the daring I'll

finish the Wasing yes I'm

granny well it's about time you lazy

women was back to work death roll here

Granny it's a good thing you back

carrying your own weight I just about

had it with you too yes roll

come on Ellie these men ain't learned

their

[Music]

lesson je R sure got dark all of a

sudden Uncle

jet Hey where's granny and Ellie they

got mad and left again well what did you

do to upset them this

[Music]

time welcome to the picket line girls

soon'll be joined by twice our number

girls I would like to introduce my

combination secretary in bodyguard

Bonsai

sakito now I'm asking you once more to

hop into that pile of junk and leave we

refuse and my car is not a pile of junk

vanai show the young lady that she is

wrong

[Music]

he demolished

it now would you girls like to try for

demolished

heads get him Susie

what did you say I said woman's Li is

for the birds let's get out of

[Music]

here no sign of the ambulance yet

ambulance who needs an ambulance old jro

hurt himself well I'm a doctor why

didn't you call me well you got more

important things granny this women's Li

movement nonsense my own Ki and kin is

hurt how'd it happen well he was

scrubbing the floor he slipped in some

Suds and wed his head something

awful very L Ducker oh the poor boy he

really quick mop up the rest of those S

so nobody else will slip and fall I'll

take care of this poor unconscious the

check worked unle J look May off that

floor yes R and Granny there's lots of

clothes that needs item and then

commence fixing biddles cuz I'm hungry

yes

[Music]

R come on

Ellie Jethro it got Dark

Again Hey where's granny and Ellie they

got mad and left man don't tell me yeah

I upset him again you know something I

ain't too happy with you

really well I'm Tickle Pink with

[Applause]

[Music]

you how's it going boy it's going

terrible this is wrecking my whole image

if someone was to take a picture of me

like this I'd never get into Harvard

Harvard yeah you got to have class to

get in there seems I've heard about that

place of course you have next to swabs

it's the classiest drugstore in

Hollywood

Boulevard well we see to that nobody

takes a

picture Uncle Jen is ell and Granny

still picky I'm afraid too well I'm

getting hungry you a to cook me

something well I hadn't planned on it

well GE is I cooked the last meal you

ate it too well there you are I'm doing

everything they're eating they're

cooking scorching huh you just burn a

hole in your

[Laughter]

pants you was wrong Uncle Jed good

there's your

pants tell me boy have you given any

more thought to running

away if one more thing goes wrong around

here I

might name

it it's great deal this is dead trampet

tell me is them girls at your bank still

pick it up for women's lib no sir I put

a stop to that foolishness they are

granny and

Ellie well leave them to me Mr CLA but I

have learned how to handle militant

women yes I'll take over from here bye

bansai we've got another Rebellion to

put

down oh hi Mr Dale I mean male

supremacist oh pressure of women granny

Ellie I am here in response to a call

for help from Mr clampet oh you going to

do the cooking and washing for PA and

jeffro it sure will be good news for

them the only thing I'm here to do is to

put a stop to this women's lib

foolishness it ain't foolishness I say

it is and Bonsai will demonstrate the

unquestionable superiority of men Bai

[Music]

who's that Goomer this is the number one

karate fighter in the entire world vanai

show this little lady how strong you

are no no no not my car

[Music]

now granny what do you think of that I

think he hadn't ought have done it that

was a good bench and now it ain't worth

shcks to set on he did that to put you

in your place now unless you stop this

picketing he's going to have to teach

you a further lesson well he better

hadn't do you admit that men are

superior no Bonsai destroy the other

oh no you don't are you sure Mr

dril is here to do our work for us yes

sir P hot dog is sure hopeing and

cook who is that that is the number two

karate sper in the entire

world what happened to him he just met

number

[Music]

one where you all going we is leaving

home any chance you're taking Jetro with

you no we's moving into Miss James

apartment with her don't do that there's

plenty room here not since you and Mr

Dale fetched in that big bully to beat

us up some bully you like to k*ll him

well he had no business wrecking a good

iron

bench you men is all alike you got to

learn a lesson bye P please I'm begging

no use talking we's leaving what I'm

begging you for is to take Jetro with

you J come Miss in her D Buy

Hey where's they going they leaving home

boy oh what dimwitted thing did you do

this time I don't know thank goodness

you got my giant brain to fall back on I

could use something soft right

now I'm sorry about this uncomfortable

mode of transportation but Mr Dale's

bodyguard destroyed Helen's car what did

he do run into it no he struck it with

his hand and broke it in two that must

be the Goomer that busted up my iron bin

bonsai's here oh yes ma Miss Jane he's

resting in The Parlor well we better get

out of here before he destroys the dude

buggy no he won't be doing no more

destroying for a spell fny clty bonsai

yeah wa he's a judo Champion a karate

champion he must have five or six belts

I give him about four

more look at J this here is one example

of how my giant brain operates I have

done come up with idea that does away

with iron is in my long johns that's

right I figured out if he uses lots of

starch and lays them out in the sun to

dry you don't have to iron them how am I

supposed to get into

these Uncle J you're just going to have

to do some thinking for yourself oh yeah

that's right wouldn't be fair to let you

carry the whole

load I also come up with an idea that

does a away with cooking how's that one

work you do it

I'm sorry Bonsai I've got to get back to

the bank I'll talk to you later how's Mr

Bonsai feeling very humiliated granny

sure what thear out him please he

already feels that he's lost a lot of

face well as I recollect that ain't just

a great big loss no I don't mean that

literally he simply feels ashamed

because he was defeated by a woman that

ain't nothing to be ashamed of and

Granny's R I've seen her drop a full gr

bll again well Bai is so disgraced he

doesn't want to show himself for a while

uh can he stay here of course he can

I'll go tell

him hey Mr dyal can that Bonsai Feller

cook no Jethro Japanese men do not cook

well can he do the laundry no well can

he scrub floors or make bed Jethro

Japanese men do not perform domestic

chores the women of their household do

all the work they wait on them hand and

foot in his own home he is King hey how

about me moving in his

place I told Mr Bai is welcome to stay

here till he finds his face oh thank you

Mr CL well I'll see you

later Uncle Jen that F can't cook can't

do laundry can't scrub floors or make

beds or nothing you're making work for

yourself matter of fact you through he

asked could he fetch his women folk over

to take care of all that what did you

say I said sure go right ahead well how

about that you finally done something

right you know if you hang out with me

long enough you'll be as smart as me

well thanks boy boy uh I'm really

looking forward to

that oh excuse

[Music]

me well now it's time to say goodbye to

Jed and all his kin they would like to

thank you folks for kindly dropping in

you're all invited back next week to

this locality to have a heaping helping

of their

Hospitality hillbilly that is settis

spell take your shoes off y all come

back now here this has been a film was

presentation

[Music]