09x18 - The Palace of Clampett San

[bunniefuu]

The Beverly Hillbillies

[Music]

good morning morning what up a filler

sit down and have some breakfast you

know wait a minute is this oent swine

going to have biddles with us Celestial

B yes no I am not Mr clamper I just came

by to tell you that your bank statement

and other Financial reports will be a

little late as you know I'm without a

secretary I thought Mr Bandai was going

to fill in karate experts make very poor

secretaries every time he hits the keys

I have to buy a new typewriter

and Mr Dale us High exalted glorious

Sublime folks don't like to talk

business while we eat Jeth will you

please be quiet did you hear that this

lowly Infidel done lift off to my

gloriousness if we was back home to

Japan I'd have you tied to the ground

and let the silkworms Chomp on you you

will you be quiet now he can say that

he's pretty near as glorious as ey

is Mr clamber we have to settle as

women's live dispute Miss Hathaway has

every girl at the bank out on strike

yeah I know Granny and Ellie May throw

it in with it too Doo well talk them

into coming back home and maybe that

will are you kidding we living high on

the kimona Jack round when until these

girls come along I didn't know how

Sublime I

was I'll talk to you later Mr clampet

it's impossible to carry on an

intelligent conversation in front of

this creton she's

Japanese I'm hungry oh what time is it

Helen are you up yes I'm up to

breakfast girls please stop the chatter

my landlord will hear you poor Miss H we

had to sleep on the Flor I sure hope it

won't be this crowded tonight oh it

won't if we don't win the strike today

it'll be twice as crowded and but

everybody please try to remember to be

quiet this halfway get your landlord

everybody get get these beds all folded

up everybody hid in the B and be

quiet this halfway I hear people in

there open up just a

moment granny have you see my pum yeah

she slept in the bathtub with me now get

out of the

way what's the matter Miss game oh my

zipper St would you help me to my feet

please just after I open this door I'm

coming in with my PCH key Ju Ju Just A

Moment have patience I'm

busy Miss J I'll have to cut you out of

this there the scissors were on the

table okay you've had fair warning I'm

coming

in Mr FY I consider this an invasion of

my privacy and I consider an occupy by

more than one

person who are you well she happens to

to be my my dress maker and this is a

very very personal fitting so please

remove yourself that's a dress it will

be very latest thing you're kidding

certainly not this year we're trying for

the sack look you made

it I calm down calm down I got her who's

that that is the exterminator

exterminator yes good good work take it

outside

immediately okay be careful Ellie

Ellie La she's from the LA Exterminating

Company yes they they specialize in

capturing large vicious rodents they

send girls to do that what's the matter

you don't believe in equal job

opportunities for women he sounds like

one of them male shelist

pigs we should alert the women's live

movement they'll throw a picket line

around this apartment building

immediately now wait a minute don't

don't don't get upset I'm not against

equal job opportunities for women when I

need a plumber who do you think I call

my wife

talk about touchy

[Music]

tenants what in the world do that smell

ain't it

tantalizing I'm cooking up a mess of my

special swamp

surprise swamp surprise

what's in it well it's secret but I'll

tell you it's croads brisket of

alligators Street CH giblets dice water

moccasin and other swamp Critters all

simmered in a rich hearty toad

stock I'm sorry I

asked what I mean is a secret should

always remain a secret but granny you're

not allowed to cook in this apartment I

brought some sandwiches and coold sloth

nonsense you girls have got to have hot

Biddle speaking of the girls where are

they well when I commence cler and they

all went out the

window I think I know why me

too they were so tempted by the smell

they couldn't stand

wait yes guess what granny we can smell

your swamp surprise Clean Up on the Roof

I bet that's got them girls crazy

shut the windows Ellie oh no no please

let let the tantalizing Aroma walk

freely out the window here Ellie you

stir M do and I'll go explain to the

girls what's taking so long cooking on

that iron is going to take forever to

get that Gator Me

Tender Sly may please put a lid on that

pot I I'll open the door and get some

cross ventilation what's cooking in here

I'm glad you asked insecticide in sa

side yes thanks to the resourcefulness

of this young lady exterminator this

apartment May yet be free of crawling

and flying insects what do you think

you're kidding that's food you're

cooking in

here oh I take it back that's to k*ll

insects anything else you gets a whip of

it what's in that stuff it's a secret

come on you can tell me well it's

Screech out alligators water MOX Crow

Dan tell I ask what's in it not what it

kills Mr Finny the young lady just

explained that the ingredients are a

professional secret now if you want to

be helpful let's spray it around the

apartment no no no no I've got a

respiratory condition I'm sorry I

bothered

you what's your dress maker doing on a

fire escape I've been up on the roof

smart woman don't blame

you Ellie I wish you'd go get your r*pe

she scampered all over the building

scaring the Daylights out of everybody

yes

Miss Jane this is going to take for

hours sure wish I had it on my stove at

home

granny that is a marvelous idea I'll bet

Mr clber and Jethro just Lov swamp

surprise well of course but there's men

we got to make them suffer this will do

it oh I see you mean give them a whiff

and then don't let them eat none until

they give into women's Libs

exactly that would be awful cruel all

fair and Love and w*r and Granny This Is

w*r if jro gets into this it won't last

10 seconds then you and the girls won't

get none that's the price we pay for

victory let's

[Music]

go theander and duck who awful good and

I have done at my fa

oh man I got to take me in

[Music]

that you like s yeah I don't know what

you're saying but I sure like what

you're doing just close your eyes have

happy dream you mean I'm not dreaming

now you girls sure do know how to spoil

a man it's great Prager for us I feel

down right guilty I don't be out doing

my

chores you want us to stop so you can go

do your chores no I don't feel that

guilty

[Music]

you know in Japan from time she's very

young woman is taught to please

men each me how them Japanese men ever

get out of the house long enough to

build all in cars and

cameras please relax now clampet son

it's time for a blissful Slumber

and if that means good night B to

you a like to fragrance and Beauty

[Music]

mm granny look merciful Heavens is GLE

he's died of

starvation surely not he's laid out in a

black

shroud and look there's the bones of the

buzzards that come to give get

him with his last ounce of strength the

poor desperate boy caught him and Ed him

now now granny be calm well least wise

he went doing his thing eating granny I

feel sure that if you made a closer

observation you oh Jen I forgot he must

be laid out here somewhere St to

[Music]

death k

[Music]

Jad oh don't let him be gone

please

[Applause]

Jad I'm too late he's gone too somebody

sure laid him out

[Music]

pry look at Jed laid out just like Jed r

granny I I took a closer look at Jethro

he is far from dead you think he can be

saved definitely and so can Mr CLA it

well if anything can save him it's my

swamp surprise I'll go get it to cooking

whilst you look it

[Music]

again this has all the air marks of a

Japanese tea ceremony

[Music]

hey grny what are you doing here jeffro

my

baby oh jeffro my honey boy you've been

spared please man you hurt my stomach oh

I know how holler it must be you ain't

had no biddles since I left home he you

kid I'm stuffed buzzards don't

count here let's get rid of this ugly

shroud hey let go granny this there is a

genuine Japanese Oak Canal oh you dear

boy you're

Delirious what's that slop oh honey you

are talking out of your head this is one

of your favorites swamp suprise I don't

eat that kind of garbage no more I'm a

glorious Sublime Heavenly being now no

sweetheart you were pulled back from the

breef Beyond now you go and sit down and

I'll feed you not that junk you won't

Jethro go and sit down and be quiet or

I'll have to laadle you back into your

senses a nuts to this I'm going to go

take me another

nap starvation does terrible things to

the human mind granny look who I

found is they Undertakers oh contr these

Japanese ladies have been caring for

Jethro and Mr clet well tell them to

stop laying them out before they is dead

come and sit down let me

explain it's the truth Ellie we thought

your paw and Jethro was suffering and

all the time they was living the life of

sichu

Hawa well I have delineated the aims and

principles of the women's lib movement

to Moo here and she in turn has

explained it to her companions yes we

have decided to join women's lib

movement oh I can't believe it you girls

were born and raised in Japan I agree

that it is against all our teachings but

granny s here persuaded us how she

threatened to make us eat swamp

surprise actually it was an offer but

they took it as a threat well now that

the man have gotten a taste of that good

Japanese life how are we going to get

him to knuckle under that good life can

come in two flavors granny sweet and

sour what you mean suppose three

different Japanese girls were to take

over the duties of moo and her

companions I see what you mean I can get

us outfits like theirs

you speak their language yes I am

n no

fool which one is your

[Laughter]

Aunt quiet please hope it's not the

landlord

yes it's Mr Dry still oink

oink what is it male chauvinist

Pig you can knock it off with those

cliches you girls have lost now do you

want to come back to work under the old

terms never you will just have to suffer

without us some suffer I'm on my way to

the clampus now to have those Japanese

cherry blossoms lay a little Oriental

ecstasy on me oh really you bet those

girls never heard of women's lip I may

hire them as

secretaries uh MO

[Music]

how come you're answering your own door

where's Mo I don't know her and them

other girls have disappeared I can't

find a no place Uncle

Celestial just my luck hey what's the

idea I want to get into the Japanese way

of life you ain't Japanese I get Ross

get R but he ain't glorious and Sublime

like us none of us is going to be

glorious and Sublime if them girls don't

get back maybe they went out

shopping they's back they's back

har

[Music]

radies hey wait a minute you ain't the

same tree that was here before who are

you

what you say y oh I don't know she

speaks with a Tokyo dialect I talk pure

ginson I say we are cousins who also

seek the sublime pleasure of serving in

the honorable House of

ketan well Dy come on in the Parlor and

we'll Sublime us up a

[Music]

storm I don't know about you too and I

thought that last dish was lousy it's

Rousy Rousy see I told you he wasn't

Japanese I kind of liked it myself if I

didn't know better I'd swear that was

Granny's swamp

surprise here comes the ceremony of the

tea come on hurry up Chop Chop y'all sh

Thro take it easy but the three of them

is pitiful two of them ain't even pretty

I'll go further the tall one and the

short one are downright home

only hey Susie these two speak English

no only Japanese where'd you find those

two dogs how fellas the little one

here's got a face like a cantaloupe

Ryan she's not only ugly she's clumsy

too and Je who I don't want to hear no

more of that kind of talk I'm your steam

nephew and I'm getting more steam by the

minute don't pay no attention to him

ma'am say ain't we going to have some

music music yeah you know singing

dancing playing a Japanese banjo yes

campit

son that's

L it's

rousing he ain't never going to learn to

speak Japanese

[Music]

lousy Rousy it

stinks I think I'm going to pass on the

tea C morning are you leaving yes sir I

am these Japanese folks set a great

store by politeness and that's something

we can all learn from please clampet son

do not go well I tell you ma'am I've

been kind of guilty of doing my chores

all day I think I'll get to them I thank

you and thank your friends for me Mr

clamp let him go let him go he R Hopper

but me I got cracked now come on shake a

rag hit us with the tea and the

music granny I beg you don't let clampet

San take his money out of my bank please

it's tree shut up

rad shut up both of you and listen does

you promise to knuckle under to the

women's lib I does me too from you we're

going to have it in writing Miss half

the way when to the bank to type up a

contract for you to sign well she called

to say it would take a while all she

could find was 14 busted

typewriters that bile bankrupt

me there's Miss Jane can we get up now

yes get up and answer the door for her

we got to keep you men in your place yes

ma'am who are you I'm the landlord hey

it's the

rro well well this is a very interesting

situation we have

here Mr

finny what is the meaning of this who

who are these people you're asking me

well indeed I am this is an outrage I I

go to work and I come home and find

you're throwing a party in my apartment

I'm throwing a party from the looks of

it and Oriental

orgy look I don't I never had anything

to do with this I shall be forced to

report you to the housing Administration

the apartment Owners Association and the

vice squad wait a minute wait a minute I

don't know anything about this ladies

and gentlemen who is throwing this party

he

is well Mr finny what have you to say

now all I have to say is I'm cutting a

red in half and so help me I never will

come near this apartment again

[Music]

well now it's time to say goodbye to Jed

and all his kin they would like to thank

you folks for kindly dropping in you're

all invited back next week to this

locality to have a heap in helping of

their

Hospitality Hill Bly that is s spell

take your shoes off y all come back now

here this has been a film was

presentation