02x06 - Chartwinkerie

[bunniefuu]

[bright instrumental music]

♪ ♪

[indistinct chatter]

- We tried to contact
you for weeks.

Then we got busy
with production.

- But we made phone
calls, sent a telegram.

- We did finally
see your letter.

- A Mont Blanc of
mail had piled up.

- The reason we were
so persistent...

- Is that we have a proposition.

- I don't know if I've
ever been propositioned

by two young men
at once. [laughter]

- We want to bring "The
French Chef" out to LA,

over to CBS.

- The whole show?
- Every last stick of butter.

- We can offer a
really big salary.

- Generous personal
compensation.

And we'll spend on production.

It'll look like a million bucks.

- Like a real TV show.
- We're already real.

- This might help
you understand.

[upbeat jazz music]

♪ ♪

- This would be Julia's
salary? Both: No.

- That's how many
viewers you have.

- Mm-hmm.
- Not bad.

- Here's how many
you'd reach on CBS.

♪ ♪

- You said in "Life" magazine
you want to change the way

Americans think about food.

- And I do, but
what about my team?

My producer, Alice Naman?
- Bring her.

- The salary offer...

- Uh, Julia's salary
offer, you mean?

- My wife's a Stanford grad.

But when it comes
to finances, it's...

- Ooh, no. I don't
think you understand.

♪ ♪

- Here's a bigger note.

- I didn't look
at the first one.

This is all entirely
Julia's decision.

♪ ♪

- For starters, let's
just bring you out to LA

for some meetings.

- Oh, I grew up in Pasadena.
- Then you must miss it.

- Well, only the oranges.

It is hard to find

a truly handsome navel
on the East Coast.

[laughs] [both chuckle]

Egads, now what?

Both: Business cards.

♪ ♪

- Should I write, "Thanks
for supporting television

you can sink your teeth into"?

They're for the WGBH Telethon.

First 5 people to pledge $5...

"Thanks for the
dough." [laughs]

- I-I think we should take
this seriously, Julia.

- Oh, right. Just
"bon appétit."

- No, the... the CBS offer.
- Oh, yes, I know, Paulski.

I don't disagree.

- Shall I tell them to
set up the week in LA?

- Uh, yes. It couldn't hurt.

But would you really want to
live in Los Angeles, Paul?

We'd have to go around
on roller skates.

- I'm not half bad
on roller skates.

- I know it's a lot of money.

- It's what it would
mean for the show...

reaching that many people.

- [laughs] We didn't even own
a television until last year.

- But now we do,

as do 20 million other
American households.

- Oh.

- And the money is nothing
to sneeze at either.

[both chuckle]

[indistinct chatter]

- Hunter?

You want to run through
the intro again?

Are you listening to me?

- Hmm?
- The intro.

- Right.

Uh, welcome to the 10th
annual WGBH Telethon,

your chance to support
a station where...

Roland just went into
the conference room.

- Yeah, that's not it.

- Hal's been having
meetings all day,

with everybody except me,

because the meetings
are about me.

He's already threatened
to replace me.

- I haven't been
in. It's nothing.

- Elaine had a muffin!

If these are muffin-level
meetings, it's not nothin'...

not nothing!

Hal's been asking everybody
who should get my job.

- You're being paranoid.

We actually have a lot
to get through here.

- Right. Sorry.

[exhales deeply]

[indistinct chatter]

- Our set was better.
- Much better.

- It's maddening...
and annoying.

- I'm more in the
"get even" camp.

For every no I get,
I go after two yeses.

- Hmm.

- I took two big
swings this week.

- All right, tell me.
- Well, the first one is...

I'm going to get Julia
booked on Johnny Carson.

What? She's in
"Life" magazine.

- Johnny Carson had Eva
Gabor on last night.

- I said it was a big swing.
- Ooh, boy.

All right, what's the second?
- The White House.

- Julia for president?
- No, no.

But I hope that I can get
her into their kitchen.

[upbeat music]

- Cranberry, nice.
- Those weren't for you.

And you pulled me out
of a meeting, Hunter.

- You'll be glad I
did. Take a look.

The sign's bigger.

The telephone number is
so much more memorable.

See how many fives
there are now?

That's strategic.

Also, uh, we've installed
three extra phones,

because it's going to
be a crackerjack year.

[chuckles]
- How crackerjack?

- Hal, we're about
to raise $2,500.

- Right.
- [chuckles]

- I have a meeting.
- Mm-hmm. Yep.

He's impressed.

- $2,500?

Last year, we made $612.

- The boss respects
ambition, Alice.

[chuckles]

- [sighs]

Please don't say the
ceiling is leaking.

- No, the ceiling is intact.

This is just...

it's a gift that was
sent here for me.

- [chuckling] Oh.

"It's always sunny
in Los Angeles.

From your good friends at CBS."

You have good friends at CBS?

- Well, that's a bit forward.

I have acquaintances at CBS.

- Are they weathermen?
[chuckles]

- We had lunch, and
I'd lost my umbrella,

so this is just a little joke.

- Hmm.

Well, that's...

that's... that's nice.

So is CBS wooing you?

- They read the "Life" article.

- Well, so did a lot of people,
but you only got one umbrella.

- I should introduce
you to them.

You'd knock their socks off.

And maybe you could talk to CBS
about "By Women, For Women."

Now, that's a thought.

- Well, I have some big
new ideas for us here,

at GBH.

- Yes, Of course you do.

- Well, tonight is a long night,

so rest when you can.

It really makes a difference
that you're here, you know.

[indistinct chatter]
- Oh, Paul, Julia.

- Judith.

- I didn't know you'd be here.
- Oh.

Uh, Blanche made me try
again with the Plath estate,

and I couldn't come to Boston
and not say a quick hello.

I'm on the next train home.

- You look a bit grim.

- Well, they're jumping
ship to Faber & Faber.

Did you know there was
really only one Faber?

- Speaking of jumping ship...

could you stick around,
stay the night with us?

I know you're exhausted, but...

CBS wants "The
French Chef," Judith.

Paul and I could use your
mind to talk it through.

- Wow.

Okay. O-of course I'll stay.

- We are live in
less than a minute!

Anyone know who's
missing on the phones?

That empty seat looks bad.
- Avis, maybe.

- Oh.
- Let me try calling.

- Uh, Benny.
- Yeah, boss?

- We can sh**t with two cameras.

Can you man the empty phone?

- Uh, I get kind of shy on the
phone, but I'll do my best.

- All right, last
looks, everyone!

- Whew.

Now, these phones are about
to start ringing off the hook.

[chuckles] Uh, remember
to smile, everyone.

- Hunter?
- Yeah?

- Places.
- Places.

Oh, yes. [chuckles]
- All right!

We are ready in 5, 4,


[cheerful music plays]

- Welcome to the 10th
annual WGBH Telethon,

your chance to support a station

where there's always
something to learn.

We're proud to bring you the
best of public television.

I want to show you the...
- Ugh.

If this is the best
of public television,

I'm going to starve.

- Behind me is the
famous tally board.

We'll be checking
in periodically

to see how we're doing.

Let's hope we get
so many pledges,

we run out of board.

- [chuckles]

- That's right. Good.

- Where are you?

- I'm heading out the door to
register voters with Stanley.

- Oh, I assumed you'd be
here for the telethon.

- No. Why would
you assume that?

- Well, I don't know.
It's WGBH, and...

- Stanley and I have plans.
- Oh, right.

- If Goldwater gets in,

he'll start a nuclear
w*r with the Soviets.

- Oh, well, we can't have that.

Tomorrow maybe.

- I'm going to be
late. I've got to go.

[receiver clatters]

[receiver clatters]

- Annuities can
be very attractive

for people who want to invest
in a slow and steady way.

- Our audience must like
to do it slow and steady.

The annuities episode of
"Economics for Laymen"

was our most popular one ever,

and we have it all queued
up to show you folks.

But first, we need you to invest

in public TV.

We'll roll tape when
the tally hits $20.

[phone rings]
- I've got a call.

Hello?

Pepperoni?

I think you got
the wrong number.

[receiver clatters]

- How long will the
contract be for?

- I don't think we've
gotten that far.

- I can't hear you, Paul. What
are we doing here, anyway?

- We're...
[gasps] Finding chicken.

They haven't offered
many details.

We're going out to LA
to have some meetings.

- We should make a
list of questions.

How many episodes a year?

Does Julia have
creative control?

- Mm-hmm.

- Why are we finding a chicken?
- To feed the masses.

[gasps] We can nab the crudités
out there for roasted veggies.

- I was just about to
ask you for the house key

so I could take a nap.

- Oh, come on, the old team.

You complained about the food
yourself, baguette buddy.

If you don't help me here,
people will starve...

or worse, eat.
- Ugh.

- What are you doing here?

- Hello to you, too.
- Oh.

Hmm.
- [laughs]

- This is the worst
possible weekend.

When did you get here?

- Look, I'd have called you,

but you'd have talked
some sense into me.

- [chuckles] Hmm. You
brought a lot of clothes.

How long are you
planning on staying?

- Oh, the suitcase is all
the work I have to do.

My clothes are in the briefcase.

[both chuckle]

- Oh, I have to be on set until
midnight tonight and tomorrow.

- Uh...
- I only have Sunday.

- Only Sunday?

- I do have half an hour.
- Mm.

- We're showing an episode
of "Economics for Laymen."

- Oh, which episode?
- Hmm.

[laughter]

[knock at door]

Oh, for goodness' sake.

- [muffled] No, no. They
need you on the phone!

- ♪ If I had a hammer ♪

♪ I'd hammer in the morning ♪

♪ I'd hammer in the evening ♪

♪ All over this land ♪

- How many have you registered?
- 15. You?

- 19.
- 19!

- Winner gets to
choose their own prize.

- That's not a fair contest.

I don't have your
beauty or social skills.

- You don't have my lungs.

[shouting] Adam Horowitz,
are you registered to vote?

- Yes, Mrs. DeVoto.
- Oh.

Well, good.

- Watch this.

Hey, you boys!

A word over here!

- Sorry. I'm not
interested in politics.

- Well, you better
get interested.

- If the U.S. doesn't
get out of Vietnam,

we're looking at a draft.

- I'm interested in keeping
you boys in one piece.

Look, the forms are over here.
You can fill them all out.

Come on.

Come on, fill them out.

We'll split those... 17-21,
so I'm still winning.

- [chuckles]

- We're back in 5, 4, 3...
[bell ringing]

- You can't say I oversold it.
[chuckles] That was fun.

Um, now I'm here with
our very own Julia Child.

Enjoy the episode?
- Oh, I adore annuities.

I flambé them with
a little Cognac.

- Oh.
- [laughs] I'm just joking.

That's a recipe for ending
up in the poorhouse.

What's the tally up to, Hunter?
- $75.

- Oh, the poorhouse indeed.

I'll tell you what...

I will come to your house,
cook dinner for you...

something scrumptious
with lots of butter...

if you are the first person

to pledge $100 right now.

[phones ringing]

- Hello.
- [gasps] I got a $100 pledge!

[indistinct chatter, laughter]

[applause]

- Alice?
- Hmm?

- Your mother's on the line.

- Tell her I'm not here.
- I did.

She said she saw you.

- Um, ah!

Uh, Mom, this isn't
the best time.

Why don't I answer
my home phone?

Because I'm at work.

Why am I not answering
my work phone?

Because I'm answering
this phone, Mom.

No.

No, no, no. Sunday I can't do.

Because it's my one
day off, and I need...

Well, maybe next week...

Okay. Okay, I'm going to put
you down for a $50 pledge.

Okay. Love you, too. Bye.

- We hope you all enjoyed that
episode of "Museum Open House."

It was so good my feet hurt.
- [chuckles softly]

- Um, I'm back here
again with Julia Child

and apparently the Karate Cats.

- Meow!

- I had no idea you
two knew karate.

- Julia, can you
make scrambled eggs

by shaking them
before you crack them?

- Well, of course not, Binky.

You have to get the
chicken to hop up and down.

- [laughing]

- And w-what's better
than scrambled eggs?

- Tuna fish.

- A home-cooked
dinner, right, Julia?

- [laughs]

What's the tally, Hunter?
- Um...

it's been $215 for
quite some time.

- Oh. All right.

Well, next person
to pledge $100,

I will cook you dinner.

[phones ringing]
- Ah, fantastic!

What a sound.

Julia Child will
be back again soon.

Uh, Pinky, Poochy, we're
about to show an episode

of "World Theater" I
think you'll enjoy.

- And we're out.
[bell ringing]

- No more dinners, Hunter.

I won't have time
to make the show.

- It's chicken with
apples and thyme.

- And butter.

- This is like a
six-star restaurant.

- You mean five-star?

- I said six-star,
and I mean it.

- Okay.

- [chuckles] What a team we are.

What happened to being tired?

- Trussing the
chicken revived me.

And we've been discussing CBS.

- Shh.

- You see Julia with
the Karate Cats?

She's so funny.
- Yeah, she is...

with everybody but me.

I don't get that side of her.
- [sighs]

- Is she always so...

cordial with you?

- Honestly, I was a
little mean to her.

[scoffs] I was the one
that needed winning over.

- Well, but I'm at my wit's end.

- Just be yourself.

Isn't that what you
tell everybody else?

[footsteps approaching]

[knock at door]
- Yeah?

- You're on in three minutes...
final segment of the night.

- Uh, what's the board at?

- It's around $360, I think.

- [sighs]

- Uh, Hunter, one thing
while I have you alone...

- Mm.

- Julia got a gift delivered
here today from CBS.

- [clicks tongue]

Well, Julia's got
fans everywhere.

I'm sure it doesn't
mean anything.

Kick me when I'm
down, why don't you?

There's only so much bad
news I can handle at once.

[cheerful music playing]

It's been quite a year.

And with viewers like you,
it's bound to be another.

Uh, but it's not free,

and that's why I'm back

with my pockets inside out.

I know we can get it up to $500.

Right, Boston?

Go, Boston.

Go, pledgers.

Yeah. Here we go.

There's the number.

There's your phone.

Hello?

People...

you have to understand...

public forums are like flowers.

You... you have
to care for them.

Otherwise, they'll
wither and die.

We're not CBS. [chuckles]

Ah, all right.

Uh, well, I think that's
quite enough, uh, for today.

Um, tune in tomorrow

for another prodigious evening.

Thank you.

- And we're out.

Thank God.

[bell ringing,
indistinct chatter]

- All things considered,

I think that was a very
successful evening.

And we're on pace
for a new record.

- Oh.

[chuckles weakly] Good.

- Yeah.
- Uh... um...

- Can we all chat for a bit?

- Sure, yeah.

- Alice had an
idea for tomorrow.

- Oh. This wasn't my...

- And it was a great idea.

She thought... and I'm
inclined to agree...

we might shuffle things up.

Let Julia try a few segments.

- Uh, how many segments?

- You...

- All of them?

- Are you firing me, Alice?

- Well, we just think

that your talent might
be better used elsewhere.

- You're firing me. That
seems to be the trend.

- No one is getting fired.
Hosting isn't for everyone.

I found that out the hard way.
- No. Yes. Right.

No, good idea. Absolutely.

Um, and if you need me,
I'll just be elsewhere.

- Oh.

- You'll be amazing, Julia.

You get it intuitively.

- I have a request.

You do a segment with me.
- [scoffs]

- Get the band back together.

- And Elaine can direct, huh?

I want to watch her in action.

- The entire menu
was grand larceny,

which somehow made it
even more delicious.

- Didn't it?

Thinking of letting us

into that hippocampus
of yours, darling?

- Oh, I don't know.

Have we outgrown it?

- Well, there are arguments
for being a big fish, but...

WGBH may be too small a pond.
- It's a puddle.

- Just thinking about it
makes me wracked with guilt.

And despite what
either of you say,

I do feel I owe them something.

- Forward motion always
leaves a few things behind.

Doesn't mean we should
allow inertia to settle in.

- No, I suppose not.

I do wish you could
stay tomorrow, Judith.

But my...

brain is too scrambled to
make this kind of decision

at this hour.

- Think of what we might do

with real produce and
a bit of forethought.

Care to cook with me again?

- Hey, you okay?
- Not really.

- Well, come on.

Look, Hunter's no d*ck Clark,

but you raised a lot
of money tonight.

- Because of Julia.
- Nothing wrong with that.

- [sighs] At least we have
a game plan for tomorrow.

- Mm.

- Going to be
cautiously optimistic.

- Optimistic enough that a
little bad news won't sting?

I took a call in your office...

from "The Tonight Show."

- [sighs] They passed?

- Well, they said it just
isn't the right time.

- Oh, come on. Of
course they did.

- But that's not a
no. It'll happen soon.

- Not soon enough.

None of this matters
if Julia leaves GBH,

and she's got one
foot out the door.

- Hey, hey.

Hey.

Come here.

- This just isn't
the right time.

You can't give me bad news

and expect me to
be amorous, Isaac.

- [laughs] Good to know.

- Look at this.
- Looks marvelous.

- The secret is the béchamel.
You'll be asleep before noon.

[laughter]

Bon appétit.

I've been doing some
thinking about your offer,

which is generous.

I have a few requests.

May we speak openly, or
should I slide you a note?

[both chuckle]

The issue at WGBH is we've
been thinking too small.

And so, in addition to
"The French Chef" series,

I would like to sh**t
a series of specials...

in France.

- Very smart.
- Not a problem.

- And as I said before,

I'll need to bring my staff
with me, if they're willing...

my entire staff.

- Not a problem.
- Whatever you need, Julia.

Anything else?
- We're all ears.

- Okay, then.

[line trilling]

[receiver clatters]

I've tried Avis
three times today.

Do you think she's
avoiding my calls?

- Uh, I-I think she's out.

Judith and I were disagreeing

about how to update
a tuna salad.

Any useful tips?

- Don't change the subject.

- Yeah.

Ooh.

Give her space, hmm?

Clearly, that's what she wants.

It's what you'd want,
if she'd hurt you.

- Seriously, though, the
literary implications alone

are worth considering.

Imagine how many books we'd sell

if her audience
increased tenfold.

- It is, uh, hard not to
think about that offer.

Uh, don't you need
cinnamon sticks?

- I'm surprised you even
know what I'm making.

- I'm a diplomat.
I served in Ceylon.

My palate is international.

- Care to make it interesting?

- What'd you have in mind?

- Well...

want to have a contest?

- Oranges from CBS.

Is there a scurvy
outbreak I'm not aware of?

- It's merely a
gesture, Hunter...

all part of the dance.

- And I have two left feet.

- Oh, Hunter.

- I hope you're at least
considering staying.

I-I know we don't
have much to offer.

I'm no dummy.

[sighs]

There's really
nothing I can say.

But they don't need you.

We need you.

[melancholy music]

I-I don't want you
to stay as charity.

That's not what I mean.

I just don't want you to go.

♪ ♪

Please don't go.

- Ready, Julia?
We need our host.

♪ ♪

- [exhales deeply]
- Help yourself.

- Uh, mm.

This. Ah.

- Well, have a bite.

- [clears throat]

[mouth full] Oh. Mm.

- Russ, I spent all
day yesterday talking

to the staff about you.
- Mm?

- WGBH has had one
good idea in years.

- Oh.

- And it was yours.
- [grunts softly]

- "There's a
guilelessness about Julia

"the camera just eats up.

She can't help but delight us."

- Hal, you have to
understand, that article...

- Now, don't... don't
be modest, Russ.

You're the man who saw
what no one else could see.

I want that man.

I want that man to
take the helm of WGBH.

- [swallows hard] A little dry.

- Oh, Russ, enjoy it. I am
incredibly proud of you.

- For being a
duplicitous villain?

- That's a tad hyperbolic,
don't you think?

- Shh! Whoa!

[whispering] Keep
your voice down.

- Why? You should
be celebrating.

- I should be atoning.

How can I take a
job based on a lie?

- You didn't technically lie.

You just went along with
someone else's half-truth.

- What?

How... how can I take credit

for something I actively
campaigned against?

How can I do it again, Marian,

when I never did it
in the first place?

[groans]

[bell ringing]

- Bonsoir, mes amis,

and welcome back.

We've decided to
shake things up,

not unlike a
homespun vinaigrette.

Tonight, ladies and germs,
I shall be your hostess,

and I want to hear
those phones ringing

like the bells of Notre Dame.

Do you know what? I think
I'll take a few calls myself.

[chuckles] [phones ringing]

Now, that's more like it.

Let's put our phone team
to work, including...

May I, Helen?
- Oh, yes.

- This very handsome gentleman.

Now, where were you yesterday

when the rest of us
were working, Albert?

- Teaching a class.

- [chuckles] Well, I'm
still marking you absent.

May I borrow this?

[indistinct chatter,
phones ringing]

This is Julia Child.

- Oh, my goodness!
- [laughing]

- Is that really you?

I love you.
- I love you, too.

How much can you spare,
dearie? [phone rings]

Well, if you could
indulge a bit more,

why, I'll name a
recipe after you...

the Bertie Bombe.

It feels like a classic already.

Oh!

Is that lipstick on
your collar, Albert?

[chuckles] Bless you, Bertie.

Well, keep them coming, Boston.

We're really cooking now.

- She's better than
I am, isn't she?

- Up next, our very own...
- So much better.

[both chuckling]

Listen, I want you to
hear it from me first.

- Hmm?

- Hal offered me your job.

They say they want

the man responsible
for "The French Chef,"

which is you.

You saw something in
Julia none of us could.

I told Hal you're
the man for the job.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Thank you, Russ.

Thank you so much.

- He didn't care.

- Right.

[cheerful music]

- Those audience numbers
they gave you were surreal.

- I know. It's a
lot of eyeballs.

Uh, not talking about the
sausage... it's eyeball free.

- What is this?

- That is your
secret ingredient...

maraschino cherries.

- What am I supposed to do

with a c*ck garnish
for lightweights?

- That's up to
you to figure out.

- Touché.

But you'll have your
hands full with this.

♪ ♪

- What is that?

- You never seen
a Twinkie before?

- Never.

- A chef is only as good
as their last plate.

Bonne chance.

- "And he bigan with
right a myrie cheere.

His tale anon, and
seyde as ye may heere."

And as this is my final
telethon here at WGBH,

that will mark my last
time reciting all 858 lines

of the prologue to
Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales"

from memory for all of you.

Thank you.

And now, before I
get too maudlin,

I am enthralled to
be joined once again

by the incomparable,

and now National
Book Award-winning,

John Updike.

- Honored to be
of service, Duke.

- How gallant.

And the viewers will go mad

when you help me introduce
their favorite episode

of "I've Been Reading."
- I do love our episode so.

One of the great
surprises of my year.

- Oh, me too, and it was,

but I meant the one
with Julia Child.

- Oh.

- Well, in her defense,
Johnny, she cooks.

- Maybe I could work the phones.

I've been told I
have a lovely voice.

- I'm sure you do not.
- I've even been known to sing.

- I don't think the
audience would...

- ♪ I am the very model of
a modern major-general ♪

- There he goes.

- ♪ I've information vegetable,
animal, and mineral ♪

♪ I know the kings of England ♪

♪ And I quote the
fights historical ♪

- ♪ From Marathon to Waterloo,
in order categorical ♪

Not bad for an amateur.

The secret, though, lies
in the breath placement.

♪ I can tell
undoubted Raphaels ♪

♪ From Gerard Dows
and Zoffanies ♪

♪ I know the croaking chorus of
"The Frogs" from Aristophanes ♪

♪ Then I can hum a fugue ♪

♪ Of which I've heard
the music's din afore ♪

♪ And whistle all the airs ♪

♪ From that infernal
nonsense "Pinafore" ♪

both: ♪ In short, in matters ♪

♪ Vegetable, animal,
and mineral ♪

♪ I am the very model of
a modern major-general ♪

[applause, whistling]
- Bravo, bravo.

- Thank you, sir.
- Well done, indeed.

[phones ringing]
- Hello, WGBH.

- Hello?

Alice.
- Tell my mother I'm dead.

- No, it's somebody claiming
to be from the White House.

[laughs]

- Put it through to my office.

[Jimmy Smith's "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
- Pt. 1"]

- Oh.

- Ah!
- Oh, excuse me.

- Whoa.
- Hey, hey.

- Hey!
- Thank you.

- Whoa.
- Uh, no.

♪ ♪

[phone rings]

♪ ♪

This is Alice.

♪ ♪

Julia?

- I know. I know. The editing
suite... I'll be right there.

- No, no, no, no,
no. It's not that.

It's not only that.

♪ ♪

Can you keep a secret?
- Historically, no.

- What you're smelling
is a dhansak curry

with a maraschino-cherry
chutney.

I actually think the
ginger and cherries

pair perfectly with the
warm, toasted spices.

- And what are these?
- I'm glad you asked.

I took a pure pork sausage
that I made myself,

and I've nestled it

inside America's
favorite snacking cake.

- Whoa. What do you call them?

- Um, "chartwinkeries."

- Oh, my...

This is delicious.
- [chuckles]

- When I talked
to you yesterday,

you sounded like you were
ready to m*rder someone.

Look at you now...
chef de cuisine.

- This place is strange
and special, isn't it?

- It would have to be,

to have one of the sharpest
minds in publishing

cooking for the crew.

- We're live in one minute.
Let's just mark it for Benny.

- Oh, really, Elaine,
can't we just do it?

- I'm fine. I'm in good hands.

- I just hope this
won't be like the time

I tried to sauté onions

and they landed on
poor Avis's head.

[laughter]

- Avis and onions.
[laughs]

- Okay. We are
live in 5, 4, 3...

- Welcome back.

I'm telethon director
Morash... Russell Morash.

Julia Child is a great
many things here at WGBH...

chef, host, and friend.
- [chuckles]

- She's also an expert
at the remarkable medium

of editing.

Tell me, Julia...

what exactly is videotape?

- Well, Russ, many
people are intimidated,

but videotape is very simple.

It's brown and shiny.

It looks an awful
lot like chocolate.

- Mm.
- Mm.

[laughs] Awfully slippery.
- Fascinating.

- I'm going to splice two
pieces of tape together.

- Wow. H-how do you do that?

- Oh, it's just a
bit of sticky tape.

Could you hold that down for me?

Thank you.

And then we just...

cut the edges off.

[laughs]
- Incredible.

A real master.
[both chuckling]

- [giggles] Now, just say
a prayer for your fingers,

and I'll...

I have do it with
my eyes closed.

[laughter]

[blade clangs]

- Johnny Carson said no...

or not yet, but we
know what that means.

- Doesn't it mean "not yet"?

- And then the
White House called.

- The White House?
- Think about it.

What is the most important
meal in this country?

- Uh, breakfast.

- State dinners, Russ.
- Ah.

- Julia is going to take
WGBH behind the scenes

into the White House kitchen...

first time anyone's
ever filmed there.

- Wow. Alice, that's huge.

- And I want you to direct.

- What? Really?

What about Elaine?

- You were Julia's director.
You're the one to do this.

- [sighs]

- [chuckles] Take
as many as you like.

- "Your friends at CBS."

Zowie.

- Yes, they want
me to come to LA.

It is rather confusing.

You got any advice

for an old girl
navigating the West Coast?

- Well...

it usually goes one of two ways.

If you're a hit,
then you grow...

not just your audience,
but you, your power,

and you feel it,
and it feels good,

and it feels permanent.

But that's a trap...

because nothing in
LA is ever permanent.

- And the alternative?

- You miss.

And even a near-miss,

you'll be back here with
your tail between your legs,

begging for your old job back.

- Well, I guess I was right

to assume there were strings
attached to all that sunshine.

- Yeah, well, there
are strings everywhere,

even where it rains.

I wish we'd gotten off to
a better start, you and I.

- I beg your pardon?

- I don't need everyone to
like me... I really don't.

But you never even
gave me a chance.

- I think you've
misread me, Elaine.

- No, I don't think I have.

I'm a lot of things, Julia,

but one thing I know
is I'm good at my job.

- Oh, I have no doubt.

- You know, I've come
across your type before.

Yeah, you're one of those women
who doesn't like other women

telling them what to do.

But I promise you...

there is room for both of us.

- Well, it's been an
illuminating couple of nights.

Thank you all for being...

- Fuel for the resistance.

- My hand is cramping.

Thank you.

- That must be why you've made
so many spelling mistakes.

- Ah.

This is my tenth poster,

and I'm distracted by that
program you insist we watch.

- They're your friends.
- Mm.

- Besides, they put
on quite a show.

- Like Alice Naman.

If you ever see the
show outside of Boston,

chances are she's to blame.
- Call her.

It'll make you both feel better.

- No.

- My, uh, constant
companion behind the camera,

and sometimes even
in front of it.

- How do you spell
Massachusetts?

- I've been able to
take my food journey

and share it with all of you,

from France to Boston
to who-knows-where.

- $50!

- We have money flowing
from all directions.

What a perfect way to close.

Even if we didn't hit

the scintillating
magnitude of $2,500,

we still made scads more
money than ever before.

- [clears throat]
- So what's more...

- [clears throat]
- What?

- Julia.
- Oh.

Oh, I guess we still
got a few moments left.

[sighs]

If you'll forgive me, it has
been a very, very long night,

and my feet, frankly,
are k*lling me.

But, you know, we
truly have had...

so much fun singing for
our supper this evening.

But the truth is,

WGBH is a very different
kind of network.

The people you
see aren't actors.

They're teachers, teachers
with something to share

and a passion for sharing it.

What other network would take
a chance on a woman like me?

Where else could I
learn and grow and fail

and just be myself in
front of the camera?

We all owe a debt of gratitude

to the leadership
of Hunter Fox...

Perhaps me more so than anyone.

It takes a certain
kind of captain

to keep this
ramshackle ship afloat.

He's got taste and vision...

and integrity, to boot.

And I couldn't imagine
working for anyone else.

In fact, I don't think I could.

[emotional music]

No, this place is one of a kind.

He brought me to the party,

and now it's my one
and only, my home.

♪ ♪

And maybe there are
grander homes out there,

but home is home,

and there's nowhere
else I would rather be.

♪ ♪

So mark your calendars.

I'll be back right here
for next year's telethon,

and I hope you'll join me.

[phone rings]

- Hello? Yes.

Great.

We just received a
donation for $300.

[all cheer]

- That is a very
nice number, indeed.

So, from all of us here at WGBH,

good night, Boston,
and thank you.

Bon appétit. [chuckles]

- You just pledged $300

on a professor's salary?

- I was moved to act.

Isn't that what we
ask our voters to do?

- [scoffs]

You don't even teach
in the business school.

You're a scientist,
for heaven's sake.

- Ah, it's family money.
- Oh.

- I never know
what to do with it.

- [chuckles] Oh.

- And they're your friends.

- [clears throat]
- Hmm.

What'd you think of the show?

- Oh, it came
together in the end.

And the White House is
going to be even better.

- Oh, isn't it crazy?

- Yeah, Russ will k*ll it...

at least that's the rumor.

- [sighs]

That's not how I
wanted you to find out.

Julia has a history with Russ...
- No, I get it.

So...

should I assume there
are wider implications?

- Well, you two,
you just haven't...

I have to do what's best
for Julia and for the show.

- Yeah, of course you do.
[scoffs]

- For what it's worth,

I do feel like I am losing
the only person on my side.

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

- Just don't stay here too long.

♪ ♪

- It just wasn't the same
without you by my side...

or under my skirt.
[both chuckle]

- Well, I couldn't
stay away long.

Besides, Stanley won't
stop talking about Paul.

- Hmm?
- He keeps asking me if I know

where he got his turquoise ring.

- Oh, Stanley,
patron saint of WGBH.

- Mm.

- And once I finish cooking
dinner for half of Boston,

I'll bake him a hell of a cake.

- He's picky about pastry, too.

- I'll make sure the
cake and the frosting

don't touch each other.

- I'm sorry I was distant.

- No, I'm sorry.

Young love needs
room to blossom.

- Oh. Young love.

- But I will need you at
the White House with me.

And for that, I won't
take no for an answer.

- Aye, aye, Captain.

I'd love to have
a chat with LBJ.

Who else is going?
- Oh, it's the whole team.

It's you, Alice, Russ.

- Russ?

- Elaine is no longer
with us, I'm afraid.

- Oh.

- Couldn't find common ground.

Maybe she's right.

Maybe I do prefer
being directed by men.

- Well, we'll just have
to agree to disagree

about certain things...

like that.

Let's not forget these.

I'm a vigorous card
player, and I get parched.

- Finally, we have a foursome.

- ♪ The bird with
feathers of blue ♪

- Oh, thank you, Stanley.

- ♪ Is waiting for you ♪

- Fortification.

- ♪ Back in your
own backyard ♪

- Everyone ready?

- Who dealt?
- I did.

- ♪ You'll see your
castle in Spain ♪

♪ Through your windowpane ♪

♪ Back in your own backyard ♪

♪ Oh, you can go to the east ♪

♪ Go to the west ♪

♪ But someday you'll come ♪

♪ Weary at heart ♪

♪ Back where you
started from ♪

♪ You'll find your
happiness lies ♪

♪ Right under your eyes ♪

♪ Back in your own backyard ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Oh, you can go to the east ♪

♪ Go to the west ♪

♪ But someday you'll come ♪

♪ Weary at heart ♪

♪ Back where you
started from ♪

♪ You'll find your
happiness lies ♪

♪ Right under your eyes ♪

♪ Back in your own ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Backyard ♪

♪ ♪