01x06 - Raging Bull

[bunniefuu]

Phil, there's a big
teachers' conference at lunch today,

so we're all allowed
to go off-campus for lunch.

I know. It was on
the morning announcements.

I was the one who read it on
the morning announcements.

You were there.

Oh, that's right.
I guess I was all wrapped up

thinking about
where I want to go.

What do you think?
Burritos, Sushi...

How about French fries?

Real French fries.

Sure.

Phil! What happens
if somebody sees us?

Ha! They'll report a UFO,
and no one'll believe them.

Let's go to Italy for dessert.

I want to get a cannoli.

So, when you see Italy
from the sky-ak,

it really is
shaped like a boot.

Although, the heel's
way too high to be comfortable.

Anyway, the cannolies are awesome.

Huh! What's that?

You're right.
They are awesome. Mmm. Great.

♪ Meet a boy named Phil ♪

♪ And his family ♪

♪ On vacation from
The 22nd century ♪

♪ Got a rented time machine
And they're on their way ♪

♪ To a time way, way, way
Back in the day ♪

-♪ So now it's Phil ♪
-♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ Keeping it together
Just as best as he can ♪

-♪ Phil ♪
-♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ He's a 22nd century man ♪

♪ 22nd century man ♪

♪ On a holiday through history ♪

♪ But the final destination
WAS a mystery ♪

♪ 'Cause something
On the time machine had blown ♪

♪ So they ended up
Right here in our time zone ♪

-♪ So now he's Phil ♪
-♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ Never knew in history
Just where he would land ♪

-♪ Phil ♪
-♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ He's a 22nd century man ♪

♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ He's a 22nd century man ♪

So, uh, you need
your science book today?

No, but I do need

my Nancy's Attic catalog.

I have to pick out a scarf to wear
for the dance tonight.

That's right! I left my heels
in your lock... er.

I'm gonna wear them tonight.

What time should we
get there?

I'd say fashionably early.

Yeah! Whoo!

Ahh.

Myron, what
are you guys doing?

Just a little
floor surfing.

The janitors waxed
the halls at lunch,

so it is grade "A"
primo sliding time.

What's the longest slide
on record?

Emily Tarelton.
April 2. 22 lockers.

But Emily was
wearing lycra.

Stand back.

-[cracks knuckles]
-Whoo.

Go get 'em, Phil!

Aah!

Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo!

Aah-a!

25 lockers.
That's a new record,

and he keeps going.

Yeah!

Whoa!

Aah!

Miss Mayberry...

Phil.

Bad ending to a great slide.

Let me guess.
Detention?

Oh, yeah.

[Myron] OK, guys,
great detention story.

We were camping,
and some strange force

lifted my brother Joey
off the ground.

And when he woke up,

he was wearing swim fins
in a corn field.

Swim fins, bro?

Now I'm getting
freaked out.

The unexplained
is all around us, my friends.

You just gotta
open your eyes.

Like, there could be
a--an entire civilization

on the end of your carrot.

Civilizations--

crunchy goodness.

Ha ha ha!

Crunchy goodness, man.

You out the park funny.

Ah! You should come with us
to the dance tonight.

Frankie's going
to bring his bull.

Yeah, right.
A bull?

A bull at a dance.

With, like, chips
and punch and stuff.

It's gonna be hysterical, man.

Oh, wait. Phil can't
roll with us.

He has his old lady.

What?

Yeah, man.
You and Keely

are always
at the mall together.

You share a locker
with her.

Ooh. You guys, like,

hang out more
than my parents.

Locked down, brother.

Ball and chain, buddy.

Pim diffy,
you're 15 minutes t*rd.

What's your excuse this time?

A long check-out
line at the library?

How's that frost ya?

Frost ya?
I'm sorry, Pim.

But I'm not from funky town.

Too bad. You should
come visit sometime.

Since my transfer here,

you have been t*rd
every single day.

I think it's time
for a parent-teacher conference.

What day can
your mom and dad come in?

-They can't.
-Then I'll come to them.

Tonight at 7:00.

I will teach you
to be punctual.

Great!

We'll see
who teaches who.

Whom!

It's who teaches whom.

Put your dukes in for tonight.

Aha!

Say "moo" on 3.

1, 2, 3...

[all] Moo!

Hey, Phil.

How was detention?

Uh, it's 4:00.
You waited for me?

Yeah.

Because I wanted you
to go with me to the mall

and help pick out
something to wear for tonight.

You did, huh?

Look, I was thinking about it,

and I decided I wanted to wear
something fun--

something yellow!

I don't think so.

Look, about tonight...

What about it?

I was thinking

I'm going to go
to the dance with the guys.

It's not like
we were officially

going to the dance together,

and it's not like
I won't see you there, right?

Right.

Right, so, uh...

So, I told them
I'd go with them.

Keel...

You ever realize
how we kind of spend

every second of every day together?

We do not.

Think about it.
We kind of do.

And I'm not saying
it's a bad thing.

Really? Well,
what are you saying,

because it sounds
sort of mean.

We don't need to make
a big deal out of this, all right?

You're right.

You're so right.

You go with the guys
and I'll go with the girls.

All right.
So we're cool.

Yes. We're...
very cool.

What if we go to Hawaii
for our anniversary?

You're not going
to get me on a 21st century airplane.

Sorry. We're not
going to Hawaii.

Right.

But I want to do something special
for our anniversary.

I got it. I got it.
What if we just stay here

and watch
that exercise show

with the cute exercise girls
on the beach?

I love you, honey,
so much.

Hey, sweetie.
How was school?

Super great.
Never been t*rd,

if that's what
you're asking.

I love my teachers.
They love me back.

It's a sick-o
love fest.

[giggles nervously]

Ha ha ha ha. Oh.

So anyway, Hawaii's out.

What is with her?

She's loud.

[man on TV]
You got it, dude.

You got it, dude.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

[woman] Aye-yi-yi.

Aye-yi-yi.
Ha ha ha ha.

Pipe down, primate.
I'm trying to hear myself think.

I can't have Miss Winston
meet mom and dad.

I'll be grounded for a year.

[man] Who's your daddy?

Who's your daddy?
Ha ha ha ha ha.

What did you say?

Who's your daddy.
Ha ha ha ha ha.

You're my daddy.

Aye-yi-yi.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

You guys sure
this isn't dangerous?

Ha! Relax, man.

Carmen's a sweetie.

Right. Cool.

I'll go check to see
if the coast is clear.

Whoo! Man,
that's a stinky bull.

[bellows]

Hey, Keel.

To answer
your question, Margot,

it's so nice to go to the party
with just the girls.

I mean, I was this close
to going with an insensitive clod.

Oh. Hey, Phil.

All right, guys.
Coast is clear.

Bring him in.

[bellowing]

OK. When I count to 3,

open the gym doors,

and let the fun begin.

1, 2, 3...

[bellows]

Yeah, uh, Carmen
doesn't look too friendly.

[bellows]

C-Carmen is,

but I just realized
that's not Carmen.

That's Carmen's
twin brother Ramon.

Run!

Aah! Help me!

Help me!
Somebody, help!

[Phil] Myron, you OK?

[snorting and bellowing]

Phil...

Phil...

[bellows and snorts]

I'm going to get trampled!

Phil, do something.

[meowing]

What do you mean
you didn't see anything?

How could you not?
I mean,

there was a light beam
there and then the bull,

it turned into this kitten.

Oh! Kitten.
Yeah, no.

I saw that.
It was cute.

Um, no biggie.

So, wanna go grab
some punch at the party?

No, no. We got to tell somebody.

The newspaper.
The cops.

No! We can't.

You're hiding something,
aren't you?

I'm outta here, Diffo.

Aloha!
Happy anniversary!

I know you 2 wanted
to go to Hawaii,

so think of this
as your tropical paradise.

Oh, honey.

This is the sweetest gift
in the whole world.

Now, for the next 2 hours,

I want you to stay right here.

And if you need my services,

just blow on the shell.

[bugles on shell]

That way, you'll never have to go
inside the house.

[doorbell rings]

Oh. I'll go get that.

[tropical music playing]

Aloha!

Lloyd, do you smell
something fishy?

[sniffs]

I think it's
the pu-pu platter.

-To us.
-To us!

-OK, Dad...
-[doorbell ringing]

It's show time.

Let's go over
our signals.

I pull my ear,
you say what?

You got it, dude.

Good. And this?

She did what now?

And this...

Clamp it, Jackson.

Good Daddy.

Good, good, good.

[doorbell ringing rapidly]

Hello, Miss Winston.
How are you?

Miss Winston,

I'd like you
to meet my dad.

It's a pleasure to
meet you, Mr. Diffy.

You got it, dude.

Ha ha ha.

[chuckles]

Myron, wait.

Diffy?

I know what I saw
back there.

[mumbling quietly]

Oh! Ahem.

Hello, Miss Mayberry.

Phil.

Uh, shouldn't you 2 boys
be at the dance,

instead of wandering the halls?

Yes, but myron here
was getting his groove on,

and he got a little hot.

So we came out here
to cool him off.

Mm-hmm.

OK.

Right.

Try not to look
too comatose.

Cross your arms.

No. No.
Don't do that.

Stay.

Good boy.

Mr. Diffy, every student
during the semester

is allowed
to be t*rd twice.

Aahh.

Your daughter
has been t*rd

39 times.

[grunts]

Aye-yi-yi.

Good! Then we're on
the same page.

[bugle sounding]

Good gravy.

What was that?

That was our elephant Skippy.

I better go check on him.

Ee-bee.

You can read quietly
while I'm gone.

Just read quietly.

Read quietly
while I'm away, Dad.

Read quietly.

Just read... quietly.

Haah.

Who blew?

I did. We're out
of coconut milk.

Coconut milk.
I'm on it.

M-Mom, where are you going?

Into the house
for the wizard.

We were talking about
hula dancing, and I want

to show your father
a hologram of how it's done.

Sit!

I'll do--I'll do it.

[tropical music playing]

See ya!

Emergency, huh?

Jeez, why don't
you ask your buddies--

the boys--
to help you?

Uh, yeah. Well, that's
kind of the problem.

Here.

Myron, wearing
your sunglasses indoors

is so not cool
anymore.

Keel, he can't hear you.

He's catatonic.
I had to zap him with my wizard.

Holy cow!

Bull, actually.

It was a bull.
I had to morph a giant bull

that was chasing us.

Long story.
Don't ask.

And now I don't know
what to do because once I zap him back,

he's going to put
2 and 2 together,

and figure out
that i'm from the future.

So, what're we
going to do?

I don't know yet.

For now, let's get
him out of here.

Grab an arm.

Got him?

Got him.

Don't got him.

What's that?

This has been a very
productive get-together.

Right. Why is your father
tasting my handbag?

Oh, you know
how dads are.

They love
tasting stuff.

I've had enough!

-Tay?
-No!

This meeting
is officially--

Uhh!

Over.

Aye-yi-yi.

Oh, hello,
Miss Winston.

Phil.

Ah. You remember Keely.

And this is Myron.

He won't be talking right now.
He's deep in thought.

[Keely] Yeah.
He's trying to think

of the capital
of Arkansas.

Little Rock.
State bird, mockingbird.

State flower,
apple blossom.

The motto of the state
of opportunity:

Regnat populus.
The people rule.

Try me on another!

Ah. We'll have to
take a rain check, right?

Right.

Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Fenton.

Our neighbors.
Tomorrow is bridge night.

Pim, why did you
lock the back door?

And who's this?
And why's Curtis--

Uncle Curtis
wearing my sweater?

And my fancy pants!

I think someone's
in a whole lot of trouble.

Aye-yi-yi.

OK. All right.
You ready?

Let's do it.

OK. Go.

Uhh! Ooh!

Oh, Diffy,
Teslow...

Dudes, wake up.

What happened?
Where are we?

I don't know.

The last thing
I remember was

the bull became a kitten, and I was
talking to you.

That's the same thing
I remember. Bammo!

Then I'm not
the only one who saw it?

Saw what?

I was standing
outside the school,

and I saw this big,
glowing disc.

And then a light beam shot through
the school,

and it went right
into it.

Oh, please,
Keely.

No, no, no. Dude.
She might be right.

I told you that a lot
of weird stuff has been going on.

Yep. Mm-hmm.
I noticed.

You know what? Everything
that I've ever heard

about aliens tells me that they always
leave something of a Mark,

or a--
[gasps]

I've been marked, too.

Myron, check your hand.

Wait a minute.
This doesn't look alien to me.

Plus, they wouldn't
use a marker.

But something weird did happen.

And I'm gonna find
out what it is.

Swim fins.

Horse cakes.
We were abducted!

Shh. Quiet.

If anybody finds out
about this...

Yeah. OK.

I won't tell a soul.

OK. Me, neither.

Dukes in.

Zip it on 3.

1, 2, 3...

[all] Zip it!

Cool. I'm out.

Shh.

Thanks for giving me
a hand tonight.

Yeah, well,
no problem.

And, uh...

I'm sorry about
ditching you at the dance.

Yeah. What was
that about?

Well, I don't know.

All the guys were giving me
all this business

about how much time
we spend together,

and I guess I let it
get to me.

I probably
shouldn't have.

I get it. You need
to have more friends than just me.

Come on.
We can still catch the last dance.

Oh, it's OK.
We don't have to.

[kitten meowing]

Yeah. Yeah, we do.

We still have
some unfinished business to attend to.

Oh, yeah.

[meowing]

Maybe you should've
zapped it outside.

[bellows]

Well, I mean...

Look out below!
Bull coming through!

[crashing]

[Curtis] Aye-yi-yi.

My word!

Pim Diffy.

What are you
doing here?

This was the only way
my parents could be sure

that I wouldn't be late.

Mmm.

So, you want a cup of cocoa?

Don't mind if I do.

Cocoa mate.

Hey, hey. Um...

You want the sports section?

You bet.