02x21 - Not-So-Great Great Great Grandpa

[bunniefuu]

You don't know me.
You've never seen me.

[panting]

Have either of you seen
Kyle Speckle?

He's about yay high,
he's got blackish hair

and a mischievous,
scoundrel-like gleam in his eye.

What did he do?

You mean this time?

He painted the doorknob
to the teacher's lounge blue.

Well, luckily nobody was dumb enough
to fall for that...

- Did you see him run by here?
- Hmm?

Did he go that way?

- No.
- No.

Did he go that way?

- No.
- No.

Well! Looks like Mr. Speckle has
outsmarted me once again.

I'm the goose!

Guess I'll just be
[loudly] heading off down the hallway now.

Chili con carne!

Not the first student to be duped

by my extraordinary skill
with sound effects.

[neigh]

[neigh, snort, hoofs clatter]

[hoofbeats]

Climb aboard, Mr. Speckle.

Detention awaits.

[neigh]

- Hyah!
- [whip crack]

[hoofbeats]

Heigh-h*, justice!

♪ Meet a boy named Phil ♪

♪ And his family ♪

♪ On vacation from
The 22nd century ♪

♪ Got a rented time machine
And they're on their way ♪

♪ To a time way, way, way
Back in the day ♪

- ♪ So now it's Phil ♪
- ♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ Keeping it together
Just as best as he can ♪

♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ He's a 22nd century man ♪

♪ 22nd century man ♪

♪ On a holiday Through history ♪

♪ But the final destination
Was a mystery ♪

♪ 'Cause something
On the time machine had blown ♪

♪ So they ended up
Right here in our time zone ♪

- ♪ So now it's Phil ♪
- ♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ Never knew in history
Just where he would land ♪

- ♪ Phil ♪
- ♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ He's a 22nd century man ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ He's a 22nd century man ♪

Now this Speckle guy is on Hackett's
most wanted list.

I've seen his work...
The prankster, shoddy at best.

No real wow factor.
No exit strategy.

In fact, his name's
become synonymous with botched pranks.

I.E.: You really
Speckled that one.

Speckle. Speckle.
That name sounds familiar.

Must be an old girlfriend.

Or a not-so-old wife.

It's my maiden name!

Speckles have been in this country since
the early 21st century.

That's now, Mom.

Hmm.

Kyle!

Oh! I thought that name
sounded familiar.

My great-grandfather,
Kyle Speckle.

This was taken
February 21, 2006.

That's the little weasel!

That is so unbelievably amazing!

I mean, how many guys actually get to meet
their great-great grandfather

when he was their age?

Great gadzooks!
You can't spend time with Kyle.

Why not?

Because we're not
from this century.

Any contact
with a present-day relative

can alter our family's history.

If you do anything that changes the course
of Kyle's actions

in any way, there's no telling
what could happen.

Your mother might not be born!

Which... means

that none of us would be born.

Well, I would.

But then...
I'd be all alone in this house.

Probably turn your room
into an engineering lab.

Yours into an astrospa

with a robo-massager built right into
the back...

But I'd be sad.

And lonely. Very lonely.

Kyle Speckle is your
great-great grandfather?

That is so cool.

Yeah, it would be, except I have to
totally stay away from him.

Any interaction whatsoever

could cause
a huge ripple effect in my family.

You gotta help me.
You have to make sure

that I have absolutely
no interaction with him whatsoever.

Yo!

I don't know if we ever
actually met before.

I'm Kyle Speck... [gasps]

I know you!

I see you all the time

on Live, with Keely Teslow.
I'm Keely Teslow.

You're Keely Teslow!

- Hi.
- Hi. I'm Kyle Speckle.

I'm... Keely Teslow.

And you are?

Ahem!

Uh... ah... n-nobody.
No... I gotta go.

Wait. I just wanted
to thank you guys

for not saying anything to
Vice Principal Hackett yesterday.

But you got caught anyway.

Yeah. But not because
you ratted on me.

He's just so darn good
at the fading footsteps!

Yes. Yes, he is.

Well, I gotta fly.

Hey, listen, I was gonna
go get some hot dogs at lunch time.

How 'bout I bring back
a couple as a, you know, thanks.

Cool.

No! I mean, 'cause I...

Am not hungry,
and Keely is afraid of dogs.

No problemo.

I'll bring back pizza.

No! You said that you were gonna get hot
dogs. You have to get hot dogs!

I'm flexible.

Slice of pepperoni for me.

Ooh! I better get to class.

See you later, Phil.

- And for you?
- Nothing.

Come on. You sure?

- Mm-hmm.
- Ok.

I'll get you one anyway,

just in case
you change your mind.

No, really...

Now, there are 2 ways I could go

to get to Pickford Pizza.

One, I'd have to cross that freeway
intersection with no traffic light.

The other, I'd have to take
Frayed Rope Bridge

over Dead Man's Gorge.

Which way do you
think I should go?

Aw, yeah.

Papa's got it cookin' now!

[Pim] Prank worthiness very low.

Gag quotient bottoming out!

Oh!

The t-shirt's never gonna hold.

I can't believe I'm related to this
prankin' numbskull.

No. Don't get involved.
Just walk away.

The bucket's gonna fall way before
the desired target!

I will not let this amateur

ruin my family's
prank-pulling name!

Pretty good, huh?

You know, stranger...

And I'm just
tossin' out ideas here...

Have you ever thought about giving
your pranks a dry run

before making them operational?

Hey, I appreciate the advice, small-fry,

but prank pulling's what I do, ok?

It's in my blood.

It is my blood.

[school bell rings]

My advice? Watch and learn...

From a pro.

Very good.
No, Curtis, your writing

is spectacular,
but your handwriting is atrocious.



That is how you pull a prank,
my friend.

Yes. It is.

Mr. Speckle!

Your handiwork, I presume.

Watch this.

Ahem. Nope.

I wish there was
some way I could prove that to you,

but there were no witnesses,

and there's nothing
here that ties me to the prank.

Nothing except a little fingerprint

I like to call your last name!

Aw, Mom!

Looks like someone's
taking a little ride down to detention.

Watch your head.

[car door closes]

[car door opens]

[click]

[squeak]

[siren]

[engine starts]

[gears clunk]

[siren]

I'm trying to find
something in here I can identify.

What do you think
the odds are that this is meat?





- Can we just get out of here?!
- Phil!

Look, I don't want to
bump into Kyle, ok?

It was tough enough this morning.

Let's just get out of here before...

Got you guys


Thank you! Mm-hmm!

Phil. It's not going to
change the course of history

if you eat a slice of pizza!

Hey! You fold pizza
back instead of down the middle.

Totally weird, huh?

My mom does the same thing.

So do I!

This is so cool!

Heck of a lot better
than the spaghetti and meatballs, huh?

You got that right.

Yeah. More like
spaghetti and baseballs.

Hey... hey,
that's a great idea for a prank.

What?

Baseballs in the spaghetti.

- No.
- Yeah!

No, it's a terrible idea.

I think it's kinda funny.

No, you don't.

You carry around a sack of baseballs?

Yeah. Be right back.

Wait, no, Kyle, don't go...

- Keely!
- What?

This is exactly
what my dad said not to do!

Now Kyle's gonna go do something

because I gave him
the idea to do it!

I really think you're making a big
deal out of nothing.

Nothing? What if my idea
changes the course of his life?

That means that at any moment, my entire
family could disappear!

Except my dad.

And just how is that
possibly going to happen?

I don't know. That's the point.

But the tiniest thing can cause a domino
effect and change everything!

That's the last straw,
Mr. Speckle!

You leave me no choice.

You are officially expelled
from H.G. Wells!

No! No, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no!

Excuse me, Mr. Diffy?

Yeah, I, uh... he... wh... it was me.

I dropped
the baseball in the sauce.

Kyle was trying to get them out.
It was an accident.

Right?

Uh... ahem.

Yes.

Hmm.

Looks like you're
off the hook this time, Mr. Speckle.

[thunk]

And you... I'll expect
a 5,000-word recipe for beef stew.

By next Friday.

I'm throwing a little dinner party for a
few of my old army buddies.

Army?

Yeah. You heard right.

[beeping]

Hey, how'd it go at school today

with great-grandpa Kyle?

Let's just say
it was a good thing I was there.

What are you talking about?

I know you said
we shouldn't get involved,

but, uh, if it wasn't
for yours truly...

Hey! Look what I found!

A letter written by
great-grandpa Kyle!

It was in the back of the album, stuck
between 2 holograms.

Anything good?

He talks about some of
his favorite pranks

and his arch-rival,
Vice Principal Hackett.

Oh...

And that he got expelled
from H.G. Wells.

No, he didn't.

Apparently, Kyle ends up
in military school and...

Are you ready for this?

That's where he meets
Great-Grandma Petunia!

Kyle was supposed
to get expelled?

Isn't it amazing
how a whole family's destiny

can lie in something
like Kyle getting expelled?

Ha. Amazing.

You got that right.

Hey, Phil, what were
you saying about getting involved?

That it's bad!

[ice cubes clinking]

Yo. Hey.

We have a big problem.

We do?

Yeah. Turns out Kyle
is supposed to get expelled.

What do you mean?

Well, according
to this letter my mom found,

Kyle leaves H.G. Wells

and ends up in military school

where he meets a girl named Petunia,

and a few years from now, they get married

and have a kid who has
a kid who has a kid

who has me.

So if Kyle doesn't get expelled,

he doesn't go to military school,

never meets Petunia...

And me, my mom, and Pim are never born.

I wonder if there's
a way to work it so it's just Pim.

Phil!

Whoa! Ohh! Keely!
Keely, it started.

I changed the course of Kyle's life

and now I'm starting
to disappear!

Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

What are you going to do?

I don't know.

Oh, wait a second.

I didn't disappear completely.

Maybe that means

that Kyle still gets expelled.

Yeah, of course it does,

'cause Kyle's always pulling pranks

and Hackett's always catching him.

Yo, Phil, Keely.

Keely, look who it is.

Kyle Speckle, the prankster.

Phil, my friend,

my prank-pulling days are over.

Huh?

That's right. Thanks to you,

I'm turning over a new leaf.

No! No! You can't do that

because, uh,
because your old leaf was great.

It was a great leaf.

No, I'm done.

You can't be done.

How about a farewell prank?

One last one
for old time's sake.

No. You have shown me
the light, my friend.

I mean, you have
changed my life.

Man.

Ohh.

Kyle's never gonna
be able to pass all this stuff up.

It's a prankster's paradise.

You take care of Hackett?

Told him he had to be
in the hall at 2:30.

Great. That'll give
Kyle enough time

to pull a prank, get caught,

and be expelled.

Oh, here he comes. Kyle.

Hey, what's up, guys?
It sounded important.

We, uh...

Just wanted to thank you for...
thanking us

for helping you
not get expelled.

Yeah. Oh, look at all this stuff

somebody left here.

Somebody could pull
a pretty mean prank

with all this.

You got glue, paint,
feathers, bucket.

Some sloppy Joe mix.

Ha ha! You are right, my friend.

I'll go run these over
to the lost and found

before someone uses them for no good.

Wait. What?

- Wh...
- Now what do we do?

He's serious. He's not
pulling any more pranks.

Ohh! Hey! Ahh!

Ok, you're really
freaking me out.

We're gonna have to go

to the one person
who can help us.

I arranged it so you don't have
to take gym anymore.

Had a little talk
with coach Watson-pants.

Let's just say
I made him an offer

he couldn't... Turn down.

Phil, Keely.

What can I do for you?

We need your help.

They all need my help.

Keely and I have been trying
to get Kyle expelled.

Phil, you're my older
brother and I love you,

but don't ever take sides
against the family again.

Ever.

No, you don't understand.

Kyle meets great-great
grandma Petunia in military school.

He's supposed to get expelled,

but I saved him,

and now he won't pull
any more pranks.

I need you to set him up.

I see.

Please, Pim. Help us.

Someday, and that day
may never come,

I will call on you
to do a service for me.

Until then,

accept this justice as a gift.

All-you-can-eat breadsticks!

What just happened?

That's what I'm trying to tell you.

If Kyle doesn't get expelled,

we're all gonna
disappear forever!

Ok, here's the plan.

Tomorrow,
we'll eat lunch like we always do,

but this time,
we'll sit with Kyle.

Because that's physically impossible,

but my friends were
like, "do it, dude..."

[Pim] You'll excuse yourself
from the table

to go to the boys' room.

[Kyle] I wasn't knowing
what to expect, right?

I was there for about 4 hours

just standing on a skateboard.
I didn't re...

[Pim] I'll plant
the insta-morph myself.

I don't want my brother
coming out of that toilet

with just a book in his hand.

You'll have about a minute alone
before Kyle runs in.

[Keely] How are we gonna get Kyle to go
to the boys' room?

[slurping]

Ohh! And you guys said

I couldn't down more lemonade

than Donnie Ronconcamo.

You showed me.

You are definitely
the lemonade king.

Lemonade is so interesting.

All it is is lemons and water.

Lots and lots of water.

Hmm, like you find
flowing through a river.

Trickling in a stream.

Or gushing from a waterfall.

[water gushing]

Water. Water everywhere.

Oh, man! I'll be right back.

[giggles]

Ohh! Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

[Pim] While Kyle
uses the boys' room,

you use the insta-morph.

[whoosh]

Keely will make the hand-off,

and I think you know
what to do from there.

[whistling]

Ah, Mr. Speckle.

Vice-Principal Hackett.

I understand you
have been prank-free

for nearly 24 hours now.

So, how's it feel?

Like it's been way too long.

Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

Aah! Aah! Ohh!

You!

Ocupado.

Hey, hurry up!

[panting]

Ahh!

[sighs]

Mr. Speckle,

this prank was the last straw.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Hey. What's going on?

Mr. Speckle here thought
it would be very funny

to cover me with wacky string.

I didn't do it.

Unfortunately for you,
there were 2 reliable witnesses

on the scene...

These guys.

It wasn't me. I gave up pranking.

Tell him, Phil.

Maybe it was somebody else.

Well, it would have to be an exact
replica of Kyle.

Is there an exact
replica of Kyle,

Mr. Diffy?

No, it was him.

Then, Mr. Speckle,

consider yourself expelled.

[Kyle] Good afternoon, folks.

Thought I'd stop by and say hi.

For the first time ever?

Why the uniform, Kyle?

I'm in military school now, sir.

So, Kyle, this...

Must be Petunia.

Petunia?

No, this is Kristy.

Kristy Petunia?

No.

Are you guys talking
about Petunia Smuck?

Yes!

Ugh! She's a hog.

Really? 'Cause I heard she likes you.

She does?

Ohh, oh.

Later.

Kyle!

We're doomed.

Oh, don't worry, sweetheart.

Love has a way of making
everything all right.

I'm sure glad I'm not you guys.

Maybe I'll follow him
just to make sure

he doesn't get lost.

Honey, I'm home!

Honey?

Phil!

Pim!

Oh, no.

Great Grandpa Kyle
must not have met Petunia.

Ohh!

That means none of them were born!

I'm all alone!

[sobs]

I have no wife!

No kids!

I'm a bachelor!

I guess I'm not gonna be
needing all this space.

I have to get a little apartment,

something by the beach,

a little sports car.

Maybe a little big screen TV.

- Aah!
- Hi, honey.

We were all out in the backyard.

Dad, what's wrong?

[crying]

I am just so happy to see you.

You were this close

to getting your astrospa,
weren't you?

Uh-huh!

[sobbing]